I changed this some. Feel free to reread this; I think it's better :)

xxxx

"Reid."

"Christ, Reid, say something, man...what's happening? Are you hurt?!"

Morgan's insistent, worried calls eventually became impossible to ignore even over the rest of Spencer's inner turmoil.

Still shaky, he forced himself to get up and walk over to the still open door -peer into a dark, empty hallway- and then to go to the window, looking out only to find Seth's car gone. He stared at the dark street blankly for a moment, half dried tears still obscuring his view.

He couldn't believe that Seth really was gone. Somehow he was still expecting him to rush through that door any second, to have changed his mind. The only things truly dependable about Seth were the deepness of his obsession and how often he changed his mind. But...there was no sign he'd be back. It had been God knew how long and...Spencer pressed his eyes shut against the terrible memory of Seth's expression just before he'd run out. The pain in it, the regret...it had been real. He had meant it when he'd said that he wanted to try to release Spencer so that he could be saved and get better.

Spencer shook his head harshly. What did that matter? He could tell when Seth's emotions were authentic, but honest scruples and regrets had never yet kept the man from doing altrocious and insane things anyway, had they? No...he had no garantuee Seth wouldn't be back. He had no garantuee that Morgan was out of danger.

His chest constricted. Morgan. Why was he still standing here thinking about Seth's motives instead of doing the logical thing and just freeing Morgan and getting out of here?! Now was the time!

He turned towards the bathroom, towards freedom, towards his old life...and found himself suddenly frozen and breathless again.

His old life. J.J. and Garcia and his mother...he would finally wake up from this nightmare. God, he wanted that so badly. But he couldn't stop thinking about how they were going to look at him once they found out the truth, once they realized what he had done, what he'd let Seth do...what he was now. They would be disgusted, even more distraught than before...he wasn't who they'd lost.

That person was dead. Left was someone who had caused the death of their loved ones, who had betrayed them. someone who was rotten enough to still be standing here and thinking about this, about Seth, doubting, hesitating, when his only thought should be of his endangered friend in the other room.

He stared at the bathroom door with tears obscuring his view, feeling his insides being torn to shreds. He would never be able to truly go home, would never be able to look Hayley or Jack or JJ in the eye and not be wrecked by self-hatred...not when he couldn't even go in there right now and find the courage to look at Morgan.

He struggled to take even one step.

He had to move.

But Morgan would look at him, look until he saw...until he understood what had happened, and it would destroy him. He would see that Spencer, grotestquely, insanely, loved Seth, needed Seth, wanted Seth. Because he did. No matter how terribly insane and messed up he knew that was, it didn't change the reality of the situation, wouldn't help him stop feeling this way. He could hate and resent Seth as much as he wanted, he could fear and mistrust him...it would never erase these feelings, these memories that seemed to be burned into his core now. Hating Seth would not stop him from dreaming at night of ghost touches of warmth on his skin, of their laughter, of safe, comforting caresses. It would not keep him from calling out Seth's name as he was shaken up from gruesome nightmares. Knowing all he knew now wouldn't be enough to make him stop missing him.

No, he knew he would live every second of the rest of his life separated from Seth, hating him, and missing him with every fiber of his being, and hating himself for it, and then hating Seth again...and endless horrible cycle of nothing but pain and misery.

Even right now, though he was completely lucid and felt all of his collected disgust and resentment towards Seth seething within him, a part of him still wanted him here now. Wanted for him to come back and pull him into his arms, to make all of this go away in the way that only Seth could-

Spencer pressed his eyes shut, feeling sick.

Yes, he definitely was a lost cause for any therapist. Broken beyond repair.

A sound down in the street made him jump, causing his heart to miss a beat in shock, fear that it had been Seth's car. He listened breathlessly but the car drove past the building, never stopping. It was enough to finally snap him out of his stupor though.

This was no time to do this, to drown himself in self-pity. Morgan was important now. He had to get him out safely...then he could still figure out what to do with himself...he could still leave once he was safe-

Hastily, he turned back to the bathroom door and hurried to get to Morgan. The older agent was looking at him with wide eyes, scared and confused, still struggling against his restraints.

Seth had taken the keys to the handcuffs with him in his haste, Spencer realized, panicking for a moment. But...but he had taught Spencer how to pick a lock, hadn't he? Yes.

He hastily walked behind Morgan, wanting to get behind the man before he saw his crumpling face and shaking Hands, his terrible secret.

"I- I'm getting you out now. Hold still, I need to pick these," he instructed, trying to sound reassuring even as his voice failed him.

xxx

Morgan was still shaking with tension, even as Reid started to work on his handcuffs. He had nearly had a heart attack when Gecko had dragged his friend out of the room with that murderous look on his face, when he'd heard him being slammed into the wall, heard Reid struggling and pleading for Seth to let them go... He'd expected the worst.

But then someone had suddenly run out and he had briefly hoped that Reid had somehow managed to get away. Until the sobbing had started.

He'd called out to Reid for what felt like an eternity, terrified, unable to figure out what had happened, what might still happen, where Gecko was, if he was coming back...and Reid just hadn't reacted, making Morgan think that maybe he was hurt too badly to move...

And now, finally, finally, Reid had come back into the room, but instead of explaining, or even looking at him, he'd simply walked behind him, looking so terribly shell-shocked, so ghostly pale that Morgan thought he might just collapse right then and there...and he wasn't even acknowledging it, not even saying anything.

"Reid," he forced out, failing miserably at remaining calm, "Talk to me, tell me what happened. Where is he? Did he hurt you? Did he do anything-?"

He hadn't seen any new wounds on Reid just now, but he had only gotten a glance at him. He had no idea what Gecko had done, what had happened in that other room, except...except there had been a moment of silence just before-

Reid didn't answer, and Morgan heard him draw in an uneven breath as he continued fiddling with the handcuffs. Morgan felt his stomach turn. He wanted to be sick, almost as much as he wanted to beat Seth Gecko into a pulp, to grind up his bones until there was only dust left between his fists.

He barely managed to contain himself, to focus on what he needed to focus on right now.

"Reid," he forced his voice to take on a calmer, more steady tone, "I know it's hard, but I need you to tell me...focus...where did he go? How soon will he be back?" How much time did he have to get Reid out of here?

"I don't-" Reid's voice sounded so cracked, so broken, it almost tore his heart out. "I d-don't think he's coming back...I...I don't know...but...I'm getting you out of these, out of here..."

Despite his mind being so obviously frazzled, that seemed to be the one thing that Reid could really focus on right then. It was heartbreaking for Morgan to realize that despite his terrible state, everything he had obviously gone through, Reid thought that Morgan was the one who needed saving; it was so much like the kid Morgan remembered that he wanted to cry.

Focus.

Reid was in shock, obviously, clearly confused because of his trauma...why else would he think Gecko wasn't coming back? There were no police sirens, no other sounds close by, no one had chased Gecko away. He had probably gone to find some plastic bags and a saw or something.

Not that he could say that out loud.

"Okay, alright...can you get them open?" he asked instead. This wasn't the time to unsettle the unstable young man even more. He needed to get out of these cuffs. But as the seconds passed, and nothing happened, and all he could hear next to the stretching silence were Reid's frustrated breaths that sounded too much like sobs to ignore, and all he could feel were those cold, trembling hands unsuccessfully rattling at his restraints, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Reid," he said again, trying to sound somehow gentle but firm, "Stop for a second, okay, just take a breath. Come...come over here, where I can see you."

This wasn't going to work, Reid was too upset, too unsteady to free him...he needed to calm him down somehow, steady him. But how could he when Reid wasn't moving, still behind his back like he was trying to hide from his view -ohgodwhyno- when he himself couldn't even touch him, or turn around?

"Kid, please, just come over here for one second. It's okay...He's not coming back now, we would hear the car..."

That much was probably true. He'd heard Gecko drive off in his car. But more importantly, he didn't want to waste any more time with Reid trying to unlock his cuffs, not when the time could be used in better ways...

Reid didn't comply for a long moment, bony fingers just clutching the metal around Morgan's wrists. Then he finally did move, only to abort the movement with a jerk.

Morgan grimaced. He was Close they were almost touching, and yet so far away from him...he could feel him shaking without having to see it. God, how bad off was he...what...?

"Spencer," he pressed his eyes shut in concentration, struggling to focus for Reid's benefit, "I know you're scared, and hurting and...it'll be almost impossible for you to actually fully believe this now, but you're safe. He's gone, and when he comes back he's not coming near you again, not ever. It doesn't matter if you can't free me now, the team is coming...they'll find us soon enough. If you can find a phone, you could call them...but they'll come either way." Still no reaction. Reid wasn't moving. "I won't let him near you, Spencer. We found you. You're safe. We found him. He will pay and he will never hurt you again."

It was all he could think to say to try and help now...but it was all he could do right now. The team...they wouldn't be that far off. And if he did hear Gecko's car, before they got here, well, he could always dislocate his thumb and get out of the handcuffs that way, and then use the adrenaline from that to knock the criminal out before the pain overwhelmed him. Yes. As he felt his own haste and nervous anxiety dissipate, the desire to do the same for Reid grew. Of course, that was probably impossible. He still had no idea just how badly traumatized Reid was, what kinds of torture Gecko had inflicted upon him. The way he was acting now made Morgan more and more worried...

"Spencer. Can you come- can you just talk to me please? Just tell me what's going on...let me help...what are you thinking? If...if he threatened you out there, it doesn't matter anymore-"

"He didn't." Reid's voice was so quiet that he almost didn't hear it at first, so broken it almost didn't sound like his own. "I- just, I was just scared for you...what might- He didn't do anything. He just...left."

The words made Morgan's gut twist once more. He remembered Reid so well despite the months they had lost...knew so well how frequently the young man had directed attention away from his own person, his own troubles, to put the people worried for him at ease. But this...Reid's tone, his wording...he couldn't suppress this ill feeling that Reid's words sounded wrong somehow, like...like he might actually believe them.

Oh, no. No, that wasn't...that couldn't be.

xxx

So yeah...it's just a Little different but I think it is less repetitive and makes more sense this way. Thanks for bearing with me :)