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storyline - this is the end of "Train".

prompt - blow


I was supposed to be as honest as possible during therapy.

Still, I didn't feel like telling Dr. Mitchell that Edward and I had "taken our relationship to the next level".

That was private. And ours.

Sacred.

You'd think so, anyway, the way we worshipped one another's bodies, paid homage to skin every night and many mornings too.

And the folks down at my NA meeting, some of whom I'd grown rather fond of. No, I wouldn't be telling them – not that they would have wanted to know.

Laurent knew. He'd started commenting on my great mood, and would wink at me when I gave him a look, the scamp.

None of that mattered. It was all fine. I still lived my life the way I always had, enjoying the small triumphs when they came, enduring the failures when they came.

Edward's methods of celebrating and commiserating were one and the same, anyway.


"I keep waiting to get used to this," he whispered. "But I never do."

On our sides, we lay face to face, sharing a pillow. His fingers traced lightly over my breasts, my collar bone, my shoulders, but his eyes never left mine.

I reached out and touched him the way he was touching me, loving his skin beneath my fingertips.

It wasn't real. I wasn't supposed to get another chance with him.

Except, it was and I did.

"Even if we get used to it it'll only get better," I said, wiggling closer so I could kiss his face.

We kissed for a minute.

"Glad I don't have to work," he mumbled. His hands were on my waist then, and he was easing me on top of him. I swung my leg over and straddled him, placing my hands on his stomach to hold myself up.

"Me too."

He tried to pull me down flat to kiss me but I resisted, choosing instead to rock back and forth, rubbing myself against him.

"Bella," he moaned, grabbing my hips and placing me just where he wanted.

I didn't want to tease. I raised myself up a little and let him inside me, loving how his face changed when we were together like that.

"No one's ever made me feel like you do," I told him, starting to move. "Not like this, and not the way you make me feel inside my heart. I love you so much it hurts."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said, smiling a little. "I just want to love you."

Awoke in the middle of the night with Edward spooning me. We slept that way sometimes. Usually one or both of us would get sick of it after a while and roll away for more space, but I had to admit I did like the way it made me feel.

Each time he exhaled a warm breath would blow across my neck, almost tickling me.

I could understand why relationships could be a destructive force when it came to recovery. Something this emotionally powerful could easily derail someone if they didn't have a good support system.

What I had with Edward was rare; he wasn't just anyone. We had history together and maybe more importantly, regardless of time and space – we belonged together. Infinitely and absolutely.

He'd saved my life.

He said I'd saved my own life.

Maybe we were both right.

One thing was certain; he made me want to be a better person.


The summer after my second full year in college Edward and I bought a house to celebrate our engagement.

The greystone was wonderful, and we had so many good memories there, but we wanted someplace neutral and new to start our lives together.

I still attended weekly NA meetings, but I'd stopped going to therapy about a year before. It had gotten to the point where Dr. Mitchell felt there wasn't much he could do for me – in the best way possible. He'd encouraged me to continue keeping my journal – which I did – and to let him know when I began working in counseling. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to work in the public or private sector – maybe both.

Alice and had gotten close again, mainly through emails. She visited sometimes, which was always nice. Even Charlie came out to see the new house. I think he was relieved that we'd not only made it as a couple, but were also officially engaged.

I no longer worked at the coffee shop but I did frequent it; nobody made better coffee. Laurent had left Chicago to follow the girl of his dreams. We emailed every now and then too. He'd always have a special place in my heart as my first real friend in Chicago.

Edward and I traveled back home to Forks two or three times a year. I couldn't pretend like it didn't make me occasionally anxious. There were times when we had to drive by parts of town that reminded me of things I'd rather forget, but that was life.

"Penny for your thoughts," Edward said. "Everything okay?"

"More than okay."

He nodded and I stepped closer, hugging him.

"You sure?"

I leaned back so we could see each other's faces. "Just… thinking about Forks. How I love it but sometimes I wish there weren't things…places… I wanted to avoid. It's okay though."

"You're the bravest woman I know."

I kissed him.

"I can't wait to marry you."

"Good," he said, kissing my head, then tilting my face to kiss my mouth. "Neither can I."