For notes, warnings ad disclaimers, see chapter 1.
Chapter 54
(Lee's POV)
Is it just me or there is something wrong with this whole scene? I mean, I understand why Cottle insists on these little get-togethers to discuss Kara's progress, I understand the need to present a unified front when dealing with her and so on but at the same time... well, at the same time I can't help but to feel that she should be included in some way. After all, it is still her life.
The problem is that, even though we are here mostly as Kara's family, this is still a battlestar. There is also a military chain of command that has to be taken into account and I am all too aware of what my place in that particular pecking order happens to be. I am supposed to do as I'm told, keep my mouth shut and not speak unless I'm spoken to... and, seeing how so far no-one seems to be too interested in what I have to say, I am basically stuck.
"Well, for starters I want her out of here for a few hours a day," says Cottle, pulling me out of my musings.
"Isn't it too soon?" asks my father, sounding far from convinced... not that he is the only one who has some misgivings.
"Oh, from a physical perspective she is more than ready to handle it. The problem is that right now she is still in hiding and that is the next thing we are going to have to tackle."
"In hiding?"
"Essentially. When I decided to put her in a private room my idea was to give her a safe place to heal and it has worked, in fact it has worked a little too well and that is getting to be a problem. Even though hers is far from the first suicide attempt we have had to deal with and she knows it, there is still a sense of shame about it. She is understandably reluctant to face the rest of the crew and as long as she feels safe in here she has no reason to do it at all. That means that we are going to have to give her a little nudge."
"What kind of nudge?"
"Some incentive to get out of here," explains the doctor. "I have been adding some of her friends to her visitors list, whether she wants them there or not, but it's been a battle and I think she is ready for some limited exposure to a less controlled environment. For the time being I want her to go back to eating in the mess at least once a day."
"But the mess..."
"Is a mess. It is loud and chaotic, I know and that's why I want someone to be there with her to run interference, at least until the rest of the crew can get used to seeing her around but at the same time she no longer has any dietary restrictions so there is no medical reason for her not to go back to eating with everyone else. In addition to that I was also wondering if it would be possible for you to use her for a couple of hours three or four times a week in the CIC."
"CIC?" dad repeats, sounding a little surprised.
"Well, she is nowhere near strong enough to handle a maintenance shift just yet, not even a partial one, and I don't think she is emotionally ready to deal with a new batch of nuggets but she is well enough to study or do some paperwork," explains Cottle. "The problem is that neither study nor paperwork are likely to help us get her out of here and that is my top priority so..."
"So you were thinking that CIC could be a good alternative," dad finishes for him and I can't help but to cringe at the thought.
"Something like that."
"I'll see what I can do" says my dad before turning his attention to me. "What is it, Lee?"
"CIC," I reply, not wanting to explain but knowing that I'm going to have to.
"What about it?"
"Dee is bound to be there," I remind them.
"So?"
"So that may make it more than a little awkward for Kara and that could be a problem."
"Well, seeing how she is only going to be there for a couple of hours at a time, it shouldn't be too hard to arrange them around Dualla's schedule."
"Thanks."
"So I take it that the two of you still haven't worked things out?"
"To tell you the truth I'm not even sure that there's anything left for us to work out in the first place," I admit with a sigh and not really wanting to talk about my marriage.
"I'm sorry, son," says my father.
"It's not your fault."
"And you are still staying with Kara?"
"Yes. I'm not ready to go back to the pilot's quarters and... well, the truth is that I sleep better when I can keep an eye on her," I say rather awkwardly. "I mean, I know I can't do much but..."
"Do much?" asks my father, not quite understanding what I mean by that.
"She is having some pretty serious nightmares," I explain.
"What, you were expecting her to have pleasant dreams?" snorts Cottle, shaking his head.
"Excuse me?"
"I think he means that considering everything Kara's been through, some nightmares are to be expected, son."
"I know, or at least the rational part of my mind does. I just wish I could do something about it. I feel so frakking useless..." I mutter.
"There's nothing you can do. Her nightmares are just one of those things she is going to have no choice but to deal with," says the doctor.
"And another reason to keep her out of her old bunk for the foreseeable future?" I ask.
"Unless we can arrange for her to be assigned private quarters on something remotely resembling a permanent basis, I'm afraid so. She is a proud woman and I don't want to take a chance that she will say something in her sleep that will alert her bunkmates to the details of what she's been through."
"She is not really talking in her sleep," I reassure them. "I mean, she does whimper sometimes and she has woken up screaming more than once but that is about it."
"Still, the fact that it hasn't happened doesn't mean that it won't and, considering what's at stake, I'd rather not take any chances," insists Cottle. "She is stuck in the Galactica. She has nowhere to go and if word of this were to get out, that could make facing the rest of the crew almost unbearable for her."
"And has she told you anything about those nightmares?" asks my dad, looking at me.
"Not much."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that I did try to get her to talk to me about it a few days ago but she didn't go into much detail and I didn't want to push," I admit before adding. "She just said that she couldn't even close her eyes without seeing 'them'."
"'Them'?" repeats my father.
"Leoben, Simon... and one of her mom's old boyfriends, some guy named Jonas, I think."
Author's notes: Hi guys, okay I managed to get this posted today (my cat, my dog and I survived in spite of the airline though I haven't even begun to unpack. Anyway as soon as I landed I managed to track down a hot spot I could use so here you have this week's chapter... I wonder what that says about my priorities). Hopefully things will eventually go back to some semblance of normal.
Take care and thanks for reading... and reviewing. I really appreciated it!
Alec
