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This chapter is most revealing, lol! Hope you like it!

Yep, Bioware still owns...

Chapter 54 - Avernus Revisited

Alyssa turned around. As far as her eye could see, she was in a pinkish place. The sky was made up of pink tones above her, and the ground was covered in brilliant pink. The trees were dark pink and mauve.

She was confused, and didn't know where she was, so she started walking to see if she could find something that would give her a clue of her whereabouts.

A dream. This is a dream.

A little boy suddenly appeared and came running up to her. He had light brown hair and looked up at her and she gasped. He was the splitting image of Alistair.

"Mother, you promised to look after us, to love us. But you're gone," the boy said sadly, his amber eyes accusing and sad at the same time.

"What? Wait!" The little boy ran off, to stand next to a little girl with dark hair.

"You ran off and you left us," she little girl whispered. Her eyes were a light hazel, but she shared the same features as her brother.

They both faced her, hand in hand and whispered the same thing over and over.

"You left us. You don't care about us."

"No!" She started to shake violently, as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "This isn't real! It's a dream!"

She looked behind them, to the horizon, where a black dragon reared its head. It advanced menacingly towards the children. She felt the need and urge to protect them, and ran ahead, putting them behind her as she faced it.

The dragon vanished.

She turned back to them and they stared up into her face.

"You don't care about us."

"I do! I care if I'm your mother!" She protested.

They shook their heads at the same time, holding hands.

"You don't care about us, because you won't let us be born..."

Alyssa sat up in bed, sweating, and Alistair sat up at the same time, taking her in his arms. He had heard her cry out and had woken up moments before.

"I'm here, it's all right my love," he said quietly, as she clung to him. "It was just a nightmare, it's all right."

She was drenched in sweat. Alistair went to her vanity and pulled out a clean tunic for her from one of the drawers. He took a dry towel from one of the shelves above their stone bath tub and went back to the bed.

She was still shivering.

He dried her tenderly, and put the clean tunic on her and took her in his arms again.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He said softly as he rocked her gently against him.

She shook her head but told him after she had stopped trembling. He was still holding her and they were still sitting on the bed.

"There were children in my dream. The little boy had brown hair and your eyes, and the little girl had dark hair, and her eyes were hazel, but they both looked like you. I think they were our children," she said into his chest.

He listened and said nothing to this but did nod, and bent his head down to kiss the crown of her head.

"But they were accusing me of not loving them, of leaving them alone. When I tried to tell them that I would protect them, a black dragon appeared behind them, and I tried to defend them, but before I could attack it, it disappeared. And when I turned to them they told me that I didn't care about them because I wouldn't let them be born!"

She started to cry and he held her closer and rocked her gently, whispering words of love into her ear.

He waited until she had quieted down, and lay her on the bed, settling himself beside her. She nestled into his arms and put her head on his chest. The steady, strong beating of his heart calmed and soothed her.

"I think," he said quietly, "it's time we paid a visit to our old friend Avernus."

...

Alistair went over the details of the trip with Teagan and left the study to find her. He was walking deep in thought and did not see Zevran, walking right into him.

"Ah, Alistair, always doing anything to get my attention, no?" The blond elf said smirking.

Alistair would have blushed but he was so worried, he merely managed a half smile as he regarded the elf.

Zevran frowned. That comment would have been enough to make the ex Templar blush to the roots of his hair, yet Alistair just stood there, regarding him with a worried expression.

"Zevran, you're back. Have you found anything at all?" He asked hurriedly as he glanced around to see if anyone was listening.

"Nothing, no. It is as if the ground has swallowed her up, my friend," Zevran answered.

Alistair frowned and bit his lower lip unconsciously.

"Alistair, what is wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," he said giving himself a mental shake as his eyes once again focused on Zevran's face.

"I know something is wrong and you are a bad liar, my friend."

"Alyssa has been having some odd nightmares," Alistair said. "We're leaving on a trip in two days, to Soldier's Peak..." he trailed off, unsure of what to tell the elf. He didn't want to tell him everything just yet. He had to speak to Alyssa to see if it was all right with her first.

Zevran nodded. "No, don't worry, my friend. I understand if you cannot tell me."

"Thank you, you can go freshen up now, if you want. It's a dark day today, isn't it? Well, we'll see you at dinner," he babbled, while nodding absent-mindedly at him and continued onwards, pausing to look down the adjacent corridor first before turning into another hallway on his right.

Zevran crossed his arms as he watched him disappear from view.

He didn't know what was happening, but Alistair was not himself. He shook his head and sighed, promising himself that he would get to the bottom of it.

...

He closed the doors of the royal chambers and locked them, and his gaze travelled to the thin form lying on the bed.

She looked really pale and there were dark circles under her eyes.

He walked towards the bed and smiled, kissing her forehead and then made his way to the back room where the stone tub was. A servant had already been there to fill it with hot water and he stripped, stepping into the tub and sighed as the hot water enveloped his tired body.

He laid his head back against the stone and let the water soothe him. Then, he started to wash himself, working the lather into his skin. He washed his hair next, rinsed it and stood up. Taking a towel from the shelf above the tub, he stepped out, drying himself.

He did not put anything on, and walked to the bed where she lay, and sat on it, looking at her for a moment. She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

"We're leaving in two days, my love," he said softly.

"Good."

"You really should try to rest, love. There is still time before dinner and you haven't been sleeping at-"

"No. I don't want to sleep, I keep having those dreams," she shuddered.

He swallowed and nodded, still staring at her intensely.

"Zevran is here," he said, hoping to distract her and put her in a better mood. She had been this way since the first nightmare two days ago, and he had tried to lighten her spirit but had failed every time. And every time she slept, she had had nightmares, so she had stopped sleeping altogether.

She hadn't slept at all the past twenty-four hours.

She turned her head at this, and looked at him. "Did he find her?"

He shook his head and she sighed.

"Maybe she would know what is happening," she mused.

"Maybe," he agreed, not wanting to get into a discussion with her right now.

She sighed and crossed her arms deep in thought. He took this as a cue to stand up and look for clothes he would wear to dinner, but as he moved to stand, she put a hand on his arm and stopped him.

"Don't go."

And her voice held a longing and need that made him sob and take her into his arms.

...

Avernus stood before them and listened, his head tilted slightly to one side. When she stopped talking, he was still standing in the same position regarding her silently.

"Do you know why? Why I'm having these nightmares?"

"I can guess, but I don't know if this is the correct answer," he said. "It would seem as though the souls of your future children are reaching out to you, wanting to be born."

"I thought so myself," she murmured. Alistair squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Avernus turned to look at Alistair. "Have you two been intimate since these nightmares started?"

He blushed then, and shook his head.

Alyssa spoke. "We tried, but we can't, we can't focus. I can't focus. It's hard to explain. It's probably because I don't want to fall asleep and dream."

"Yes, it makes sense. If you had sex, you would be exhausted and fall asleep..." Avernus said thoughtfully.

"I've prepared the first potions for you two to take, to start the treatment to reduce the taint in you. But first I must tell you what to expect and what not to expect." He nodded to two chairs in the room sitting down on another one that faced them.

"This treatment is long, you will have to come here once a month to drink the contents or dose of the potion each time. You will have to take six doses. The taint will fight against the potion and the magic I will use every time. Understand this: it will not be pleasant, and you will not be yourselves. I urge you to get away from court for the duration of the treatment. It will be better for you."

They nodded, holding hands and briefly looked at each other.

"There will be changes in your body," Avernus continued. "An incredible appetite, you will want to do nothing but eat and have sex. The only thing on your mind will be sex and food, for the duration of this treatment. Your demeanor will change. You will seem to have gone crazy to those that love you and surround you. This is why I urge you to be somewhere else.

"The last month will be the worse. I suggest you come here to the Peak to spend that month, away from everybody in one of the towers. You will become feral and behave like animals, as the taint battles in you for dominance. During that time, I will have to use spells to contain you, and will have to lock you up, apart from each other, or you will most likely kill each other.

"After this, during the last week, you will suffer from high fevers, as the taint is finally contained and reduced forever, and when the fevers break, you will be back to normal."

"Well, can we stay here, the whole time? That will save us having to travel here once a month and also it will be better if nobody sees us at all during the entire time of the treatment," Alistair said.

"Yes, that would be wise," Avernus agreed. "You can go back to make all the necessary arrangements, then return. The first dose will not make you mad, the others will. Each dose will be stronger than the previous. But you will notice an increase in your appetite to begin with and will suffer from nightmares. However, they will be far and in between."

Alistair turned to Alyssa, and she nodded immediately.

"Then we'll do it that way," Alistair told Avernus. "We'll go back to arrange things, and come back."

"You must understand it will take some time for your body to adjust after the treatment is over. You will not become pregnant immediately," he told Alyssa.

"I understand," she whispered.

"Now, once the taint is successfully reduced, you will live much longer, and possibly die of old age. You will still be able to sense darkspawn, but not as acutely as before. Your bodies will become more normal, as it were, meaning that you will be susceptible to common colds or other illnesses. You will still possess a stamina above normal and will still be healthier and stronger than most."

"What about our Calling?" Alyssa asked, her voice a whisper.

"There is a chance that you may not even feel the Calling. You will die of old age, and there may never be a Calling for you. Before, when you took the Joining, you had thirty years to live, give or take. Now, with this treatment, you will probably live thirty years longer than that.

"The taint will no longer possess you completely or make you change into broodmothers, ghouls or darkspawn. Understand that it will no longer flow freely through your bloodstream; it will become but a small contained spot within your bodies."

He lapsed into silence apparently waiting for them to ask him to begin.

Alyssa turned to Alistair, and he gazed into her eyes tenderly.

"We're ready," she said, and Avernus handed them each a vial with the first dose of the potion.

A/N: Please read and review, it means a lot to me! :)