September 2010

Instant Addiction

Part 17

Emily was standing in the hallway, outside of the neonatal unit, being held by her brother, Jason, when Johnny came running down the hallway. Jason spotted him, stepped back from Emily, and she turned her tear stained face to look at her former lover.

Not boyfriend. Not fiancee. Johnny was only her lover of several months back when she was crazy, crazed, lost in pain and grief and anger, going by the name Rebecca because that bitch Helena had kidnaped and brainwashed her. Before she got her memory back, Johnny was perfect in her eyes.

But nothing felt right or sane or like it fit with him when she started to gain her memories back. She pushed hard at Johnny....told him to get away from her and go back to his own world...and he did.

He was there for her, as much as she let him be, and their daughter but he fell in love with someone else. A waitress named Jane. She was simple to love. She was sweet and uncomplicated. Not like Emily, who was all jagged pieces inside now. Only comfortable around her family, Liz, Nikolas, Gia, Sonny and Lucky. The people who knew her way back when.

She never thought she'd miss Johnny when she pushed him away. But she did. She missed when his eyes used to fill with hunger and heat for her. She missed how he would whisper in her ear "You're amazing," and how he used to think she was someone incredible.

Now he knew she wasn't amazing- she was a former princess turned hot mess. And she let their baby get sick.

Johnny asked, breathlessly, as his hand flattened against the glass of the N-icu and he started inside at his daughter. "How is she?"

Emily tried to hold back her sob when she said "Critical."

Jason stepped back even more, to give them privacy.

Johnny turned to look at Emily. "What did the doctors say? Can they save our girl?"

"They're trying."

He sucked in a huge shaky breath. His hand slowly rose and touched her arm. His eyes met and held on hers, both of their brown eyes tear filled. Then he pulled her into a hug. She hadn't been held by him since the day their child was born, and they all curled up together on Emily's hospital bed.

She gripped Johnny tightly now. She could live without him loving her again....maybe not happily but she could live...but she would die if they lost their baby girl.

Just die.

Johnny whispered into her ear "We're not losing our girl...I just won't let her go, you hear me?"

Emily nodded, then rested her head on his shoulder.

XXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later Alexis walked down the hallway at General Hospital and saw Jason sitting in a chair, near the neo natal icu. He stood up when he spotted her. "Hey, you didn't have to come down here."

He had left a note by the bed for her, saying he didn't want to wake her up and he would call her later. Alexis showered, dressed and decided to come down to check on Emily herself. "How is Emily doing? How's Lucia?"

"Em and Johnny are in with her...I don't know how she is...the doctors gave her medication. We're just waiting to see if it works."

"You're here alone?"

"Emily didn't want the family here causing a lot of chaos. They're down in the waiting room with Alice under strict orders to not let any of them out."

Alexis touched Jason's arm. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm just worried for Em."

"She's stronger now and Lucia was a healthy, full term, perfect baby at birth...she can beat this. We have to believe that."

"Thanks for coming down."

"Of course."

Alexis hesitated a moment, with her eyes locked on his, and then she hugged him. She felt his tense body relax underneath her touch. A man like Jason might look like he never needed anybody to comfort him, like he was a rock that others could lean on always, but the ones who knew him best knew better than that.

He needed to lean on others sometimes. And today Alexis was willing to let herself be the shoulder he rested his head on.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later Emily was sitting in the chapel, all alone, with candles lit. She silently prayed for God to save her precious baby girl. She apologized for not wanting Lucia from the very first second she learned she was pregnant- and for all she did to hurt Johnny. She swore to make it right.

Emily never heard the person walk into the hospital chapel, and didn't notice him till he sat down next to her. Turning to look at him, her face crumbled into tears of relief.

"Hey, its gonna be okay."

She clutched him tightly. "Lucky.....she's so sick!"

"Shhhh. She's strong like her mama. You believe that, right?"

Emily would honestly believe anything Lucky ever told her.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It was nearly four in the afternoon when Damian Spinelli came running down the hallway at the hospital. "Stone Cold! Goddess Mother! The Jackal has arrived...sorry about the late hour but I could not leave the lake house until the dastardly D.A. and the sweet nurse showed up to relieve me of my Mini Goddess caring duties. The kids are fine, if you were wondering, and I do believe their illnesses will soon be eradicated....now how is The Littlest Princess?"

Alexis smiled at Spinelli. For all his exuberance he was a remarkable young man. "Liz told us a few minutes ago that Lucia's vitals are improving now."

"That is fine news!"

Alexis said "Thanks for staying with the girls last night. So Ric and Nadine were a little late getting over there this afternoon?"

"Just slightly. They said something about driving all night and all day due to an impromptu trip to The Buckeye State."

Jason asked "They went to Ohio last night?"

"It appears so and today The Sweet Nurse was sporting, what she said was, a newly purchased, blinding bright diamond on her ring finger. I fear she's being sucked further under the spell of The Dastardly D.A."

Alexis said "At least she's good for him. Lets just hope for Nadine's sake that Ric is good for her back."

Jason shook his head, wearily. Alexis knew what that look meant: The only good Ric is a dead Ric.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"I wish I could hold her," Johnny whispered to Emily, as they stood next to Lucia. She was inside of this tent that gave her oxygen to help with her uneasy breathing. "So I could comfort her."

"You are...you're here."

"I just feel so damn helpless!"

"Johnny...." she murmured.

"I know you always said you could raise her alone but I should be able to do something for my daughter. Make this right for her."

"That was a mistake. I can't raise her alone."

He jerked his head to the side to look in her eyes. He moved closer to her. "You're just scared. I should stop making it worse on you."

"I can't keep pushing you away. Its hurting Lucia and its killing me to keep up the lies."

His eyes widened. Those dark, brooding, pain filled eyes locked on hers. His breathing became shaky. "Lets talk more....when our baby is healthy, okay?"

"Okay."

He stared at her for a long moment.

Emily added "She has to make it. I'll die. I know I will. I'll die if we lose her."

He hugged her tightly. "There's no way I'd let either of you get away from me for good."

And that is when Emily knew, what her and Johnny created together could withstand anything. It was stronger that she ever gave it credit for. Johnny was stronger. More of man than she knew. He forgave everything...and he never tried to run away, even when she told him to turn his back and never look at her again.

Because she had been ashamed of who she was, and confused about who she would be. Until now. Now it was clear. She was Lucia's mom and she wanted to give herself permission to have faith again...for Lucia's sake and her own....and for Johnny, the guy who she hurt more than she ever hurt anyone.

She was grateful that Johnny wasn't the type to hold that against her for life.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Once Lucia started to make a turn for the better, after a long day at the hospital, Jason walked Alexis to the parking lot so she could go home and check on her own sick daughters. Jason and Alexis had been surrounded by people all day- though it could have been worse...it could have been Nikolas, Sam and Matt, all people in the dark about the fact Jason and Alexis were dating.

Nikolas was in Russia on business. Sam and Matt had another week left on their honeymoon.

Jason hadn't expected Alexis to show up at General Hospital but he was glad she took it upon herself to do that. It was rare for him to lean on anyone- but Carly- still it felt right to have Alexis there by his side. She was strong enough to weather any storm. She proved that over the years. Jason didn't have to worry she would break if he leaned on her.

It wasn't that he cried and she wiped away his tears. It was just that she was there. There. When she didn't have to be. She wanted to be...for him. She wanted to be there when it wasn't sexy or fun or exciting. When it was messy and painful, scary and sad.

Today showed Jason that Alexis wanted something real. Like he already knew he wanted.

They reached her car. Jason had Milo bring it by for Alexis, since Jason drove the night before and Alexis had to take a cab to the hospital earlier.

Jason said "Hope the girls are feeling better by now."

"They're almost completely through this latest bout of strep. Thank God cause I can't take much more of two cranky fussy kids fighting with each other. The last time I called though they sounded pretty good. If the doctor clears them Monday then they will head back to school the next day. They seemed to do fine without me last night. Of course, Spinelli is like a miracle worker with them."

"The boys always love when Spinelli stops by Carly's house too."

"He'll be a great dad one day."

"Yeah, one day." Jason said, his voice warning that it needed not to be anytime soon.

She smiled. "I'm not advocating Maxie get pregnant. I'm not for babies having babies. Although I did that myself. But that's why I know its so hard to deal with at a young age."

"I was just about their age when Michael was born."

"I remember."

He shook his head. "I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And now I look at Emily with Lucia. She's going through so much. I want to make it okay for her again."

"She knows you would if you could. That's the best you can do for her, Jason. Just be there when she needs you. You're good at that. Ask Carly! She's given you a second job of being her rock. Or maybe that is your first job. You just moonlight in the mafia."

He gave her a slight smile in response to her joke. "Carly stopped over this morning."

Alexis eyes widened. "Was she carrying a hose?"

Alexis had mentioned before how Carly sprayed her with water, drenching her, a few years back and she knew that it was no accident. Carly liked it way too much.

Jason chuckled. "She just wanted to see what was up."

"I'm surprised I slept through the screeching when she realized I was there. Or didn't she catch on?"

"She knew. She's.....going to be fine with it."

"Going to be,"Alexis smiled and joked "I'll keep dressing in waterproof clothing for a while longer anyway." Their eyes held and the tension increased. "Well...I better get home now."

She unlocked her car and then turned to face him again, saying, "Last night was lovely. Just one little suggestion for you: Buy wine! Merlot!"

"Okay."

She murmured "Good by then."

Alexis turned to get into the car, but Jason took hold of her hand and pulled her back around to face him, tugging her flush with his body. Her breathing quickened. His mouth descended on hers. Did she really think she was going home without him getting his lips on hers another time?