"Nightingale!" Bucky's voice ripped at his throat as he woke up in the dark apartment, heart slamming in his chest and cold sweat dripping down his face. He blinked, the room coming into focus and Bucky began to calm down, though his entire body was still shaking.
"Bucky?" Steve's groggy voice reached him and Bucky scanned the darkness and sure enough, Steve's outline came into focus and then his sleepy face. His hair was stuck up on one side-he'd been asleep until this point. And once again, Bucky's nightmares had woken him up.
"Sorry for waking you," Bucky muttered, running his head through his hair which was sticky with sweat. His heart began to slow down in his chest, but it was still way too rapid to be within normal limits.
"It's fine," Steve yawned, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It was about Mel again, wasn't it?"
Bucky groaned, still hearing the bang of a gun and a sticky sensation of blood on his hand. "Yeah. It was."
"You want to talk about it?"
Honestly, the answer was no, but Steve would worry if he evaded the question."Same as last night and the night before that," he replied dully. Bucky's nightmares had taken a new pattern for the last month, ever since he'd heard Melody had been shot. He'd hoped after hearing she was awake that the dream would stop, but now, two weeks later and it was still going strong. The dream was always the same. Some blank space, usually a long hallway with Melody's voice echoing around him, he'd turn around and see her standing there, smiling at him and reaching out. He'd move and get close, but not before a gun went off and left blood blossoming over her shirt, right where her heart was. It always ended that way and he couldn't get it out of his head. This, in some ways, was worse than the dreams when it was his finger on the trigger, when he had no memory of her at all. In these dreams he knew what was going on all too well, he was right there, he loved her and he was helpless as she bleed out in his arms.
"Bucky, she's going to be fine." Steve sighed, looking over his shoulder to face him. "You know that. She'll be out of the hospital any day now."
"I know." But the dream was still there and he didn't know why. It still kept coming back to plague him almost every night. It almost made Bucky miss the nightmares that featured Hydra and he was aware of how messed up that was.
"You alright?"
"I'm fine," Bucky lied. "Go back to sleep." Steve had taken to staying with him over the last few weeks, in case Sharon called with an update about Melody. It wasn't exactly a comfortable arrangement but Steve never complained once. If he was being honest with himself, Bucky was glad his friend was so close by, he was glad he had someone to talk to about Melody and fear that had been eating away at him from the moment Sharon got that phone call a month ago. It had helped a lot, it hadn't taken away the fear, but it had helped him to manage it.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, it was just a dream." Bucky pulled the covers a little farther up, suddenly cold. Dream or not, the fear was still pretty real. It had almost been a reality. "Go back to bed, I'll see you in the morning." The bed frame creaked as Steve got up and soon, Bucky heard the shuffling of blankets and then the steady sound of his breathing. Steve was asleep but even as Bucky shut his eyes, he knew he wasn't going to sleep. The image of Melody's bullet riddled chest was still imprinted on the back of his eyelids.
Bucky inhaled the rich smell of his coffee, the mug warm in his hand. As he'd predicted, he had not been able to fall back asleep after his nightmare. Steve was still fast asleep on the couch, not that he was surprised by that. His constant string of nightmares woke both of them up almost every night. Bucky was used to it, but Steve had no such claim.
Thank God for whoever invented coffee, he thought, swallowing a mouthful of the hot, bitter liquid. It didn't taste that good but it certainly woke him up and for that he was grateful. He needed to stay awake during the daylight hours if he ever wanted to have any hope of sleep at night. Maybe if he was worn out enough, he'd be too tired to dream. That wouldn't be so bad. A few hours of pure exhaustion for several of restful sleep.
"Bucky?" Steve yawned and stumbled off the couch, bags under his eyes and his hair a complete mess. "You awake?"
"No you're talking to my ghost," Bucky replied, "you want some coffee?"
"Is that a question?" Steve groaned, making his way into the kitchen and grabbing a glass from the sink. Filling his cup, he yawned again. "How long have you been up?"
"Not long, ten minutes maybe." Bucky took another sip of coffee, the caffeine spiking his veins and speeding up his heart. "Sleep well?"
"Better than expected," Steve replied with a shrug. "Still tired though. You?"
"About the same, thank God we have coffee." He smiled over the rim of his cup and the grin was returned, but only briefly. "What?"
"I was thinking, the other night after you woke up," Steve looked down into his coffee. "Melody's been awake for two weeks now and she still won't explain the scars."
Bucky shrugged. "I doubted she would, she never wanted anyone to know." And I've already told you I'm not saying anything so you're wasting your time.
"Yeah, I know that. So why'd she tell you?"
Bucky had been waiting to be asked that one for awhile. He'd barely known Melody compared to Sharon, at face value, they had nothing in common and no reason to trust each other and yet, out of everyone she'd trusted him. Anyone would wonder why, anyone would ask and now the moment had come. "She lied to me same as she lied to everyone else from the moment we met."
"And then she fell in love with you?" Steve said that as though he was still having trouble believing it. Bucky didn't really blame him. He and Melody weren't exactly a match people could expect.
"No. Just...Well, the place I was hiding was her parents house and because I was there, she was too. Kept me company so I wouldn't go crazy."
"She owns a house?"
"Her mother transferred ownership of the place to her when she was eighteen."
"I didn't know that."
"She doesn't talk about it. She hates that place." Just being there had been hell, a haunted home with reminders of a life Melody had desperately tried to leave behind.
"Then why does she still own it? Why doesn't she sell that place? I mean...if that was where everything happened why keep it?"
"Too many questions, too many stories to keep track of. It's proven useful in her dealings with S.H.I.E.L.D honestly, take your pick. Anyone of them are very probable answers. I've never really asked her why she kept the place."
"Okay," Steve sighed and looked over at Bucky. "So how does that house relate to her telling you everything when she wouldn't even tell her best friend?"
"Well, being there was hard for her. Really hard. And she sort of snapped." That was the only word he could think to describe that night.
"Snapped?"
"She went out of control, everything sort of overwhelmed her and she just went crazy. And I saw it happen. Eventually she passed out but-."
"Passed out."
"It takes a lot of energy to destroy an entire set of dishes and a picture frame."
Steve's eyes widened. "You're kidding right?"
"No."
"I can't imagine her doing that," Steve said, taking a sip of his coffee. "I don't know her that well but I just..."
"I know," Bucky said. "And when I tried to stop her, I saw her arm. There was a scar there. I confronted her about the incident later that same night and this time...well I guess Melody knew what happened wasn't something she could just explain anyway or tell me to ignore." She could have kicked me out, but she didn't do that. Why Bucky had several theories, because she couldn't walk away when she could save someone, because maybe even then, she'd loved him too. He didn't know and now he'd never be able to ask. "So she told me, but not before making me promise to never tell anyone."
Steve was quiet for a moment, head hanging as he considered this. "You know, if Sharon ever finds out that you knew, she might actually kill you."
Bucky shrugged. "She was ready to kill me the moment she figured out that I was in love with Melody." He'd never said that aloud to Steve, not since the night he'd come clean about it. It felt good to say, like taking in a breath of fresh spring air.
"Don't take it personally," Steve told him, "Sharon's really overprotective when it comes to her."
Bucky grinned. That was a bit of an understatement. "I know, but I'm glad. I'm glad Melody has Sharon. She needs her family." He drained the last dregs of his coffee. "I'm going to take a shower and if Sharon calls again, ranting about Melody, tell her to back off on her."
"Bucky, I value my health and safety, she will-."
"Melody is terrified right now and the constant stream of people asking 'why' and 'how' are making it worse. She'll talk when she's ready to do that, not before. The more Sharon tries to force her the harder she's going to fight."
"We're not talking about you."
"I know," Bucky grit his teeth as he set his glass in the dishwasher. "But it doesn't change the fact that when you go through something terrible, people trying to force you into talking about it-."
A shrill ring cut Bucky off and Steve grabbed his phone. He grit his teeth. Modern tech had it's advantages but sometimes they were so inconvenient. "It's Sharon."
Bucky's annoyance with cell phone's faded on the spot. "Put her on speaker."
"Why?" Steve asked, looking up from the ringing phone.
"If she's going to talk about Melody and her secrets, which I assume she will, I'm going to pass on my advice."
"That's not-."
"She needs to hear it," and Melody needs her to lay off. Good intentioned as Sharon no doubt was, it didn't' mean it was what was best for Melody and someone needed to tell her that. Someone needed to remind her that she wasn't the only person who loved Melody.
Steve regarded him intensely for a moment. "No more than five minutes," he warned. "You know phones can be tracked. I don't think it's wise to stay on longer than you have to."
"I know," Bucky replied as Steve tapped the screen.
"Sharon-."
The agent's panicked voice cut across Steve. "Mel's missing."
New chapter! And wasn't that a lovely cliffhanger? Hehe! As always, I love reviews! Thanks for reading! :)
