Author: Raven Shadowrose

Title: To Catch a Falling Star

Rating: M

Pairing: Dixie/Hannah, Jeff/Emilie, ?/?

Summary: A sequel to The Ties That Bind. What will happen to the Holby paramedics and their partners when a traumatic event tests the bonds of their relationships and friendships?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Casualty, any dialogue from the show belongs to the writers and I claim no ownership. All original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for them to be used.

A/N: There will be some chapters in this story that may upset some people, a warning will be placed at the start of each chapter that contains sensitive/upsetting material. Reviews are welcome :)

Thank you to MrsJeffreyCollier and cooper1eddie2 for your reviews, I know this chapter has taken a while, life has been busy of late. I hope that you enjoy reading this chapter :)


Chapter Fifty-Four... John Collier.

Dad has just revealed the news that Emilie is pregnant with what will be my half brother or sister when he or she is born next year. I had my suspicions that something was going on as dad seemed even more attentive to Emilie than he usually is. I noticed that when he was talking to me he would look round as if to check where Emilie was and what she was doing. It is only natural for him to be protective of Emilie, she is carrying a baby after all. I know that he wants to look after her and keep her safe from anything that might harm her or the baby. I am glad that my dad and Emilie are happy together, it has been a long time since my dad has been truly happy. Being with Emilie has given my dad the love that he has been looking for since he got divorced from mum. Emilie has welcomed Sophia and myself into her life, I am grateful to her for doing so. I know that she likes us both, she is always ready to listen if I need to talk to her about something. She has helped Sophia to settle in when she moved back to Holby, Sophia is grateful to Emilie for everything that she has done to help her. I know that dad is glad to have Sophia living with him, he has always missed us since we had to go to London with mum. I think Sophia is better off living with dad and Emilie, she is happier now that she is with them.

I know that Emilie genuinely cares for and loves my dad, she shows her feelings for him in the way that she looks at him and talks about him. Emilie talked to me a few times after Polly had been hurt in the college, she told me that dad was having a bad time because he had been there when it happened. She promised me that she would help him through the bad times and that she wouldn't let him be buried by his feelings and the guilt that he was going through. I believed every word that Emilie said, she spoke with such passion and conviction, I knew that she would find a way to help my dad. I remember calling Emilie when I couldn't get in touch with dad, she sounded tired and as if she was just about holding it together. I knew that she was finding it hard to keep going through it all, there was still some determination in her voice, she was still fighting for my dad. I wondered how much more Emilie would be able to take and how long she would be able to go on for. She told me that she had been trying to get dad to go to counselling and talk through his feelings with someone. I understood from the tone of Emilie's voice that she was having a hard time getting dad to agree to it. I remember the change in Emilie's voice when she told me that dad had agreed to go to counselling, she sounded very relieved that she had managed to get through to him.

I'm not sure how Emilie managed to get dad to agree to go to counselling, she hasn't talked about it to me. I can only think that they went through something together that made my dad realise he needed to seek out help. I am glad that Emilie managed to get my dad to see that he needed help with his feelings and the experiences he'd had inside the college. I was worried that dad and Emilie might split up because of the stress that they were both under. I hoped that they wouldn't split up, I know that dad wouldn't have been the same if he had lost Emilie. I know that he needs her, he loves her so very much. I doubt that Emilie would have been the same either, she loves my dad as much as he loves her. I have seen how good they are together, they deserve to be happy and I hope that they will remain so for a very long time to come.

I am very proud that my dad asked me to be his best man and to stand with him on the day of the wedding. I worked very hard on the speech that I gave at the reception, I went over and over it until I was sure that it was perfect. I was with my dad from the moment that he got up on the day of the wedding, I saw how his nerves increased as it got closer to the time that Emilie was due to arrive. He kept on looking at his watch and then at the entrance Emilie would walk through. It was clear that he was worried about something happening to stop the wedding from going ahead. I think that he was most worried about Emilie changing her mind and deciding that she didn't want to marry him. I knew that it wouldn't happen, that Emilie would arrive and the wedding would go ahead as planned. I saw the look on my dad's face when he saw Emilie appear in the doorway; it was one of relief, I knew that he was glad she had arrived and was about to marry him. I saw that dad thought Emilie looked beautiful in her dress, all of his feelings for her showed in his eyes. I knew that he was speechless too, I wondered if he would remember how to speak when the time came for him to say his vows.

Being married is different for dad this time around, Emilie is different, I think that she is better for dad than mum was. I'm not sure if mum and dad were every really compatible with each other, some people just aren't meant to be together. I have watched Emilie and dad when they are together, it is obvious that they are happy with each other. They smile at each other a lot and they share a hug or a kiss whenever they cross paths. I can see that they have a strong connection with each other, that the hard times after Polly had been shot have brought them closer together. I am grateful to Emilie for not giving up on dad, for how she fought for him and helped him to find himself again after the hard times. Sophia feels the same, she likes Emilie, she tells me how Emilie has taken her shopping and out for something to eat. She has been out with dad too, he has taken her places and gives her hugs when she needs them. I think that being with Emilie and dad is good for Sophia, being with them is definitely what she needs.

Sophia's decision to leave London and move back to Holby with dad was not a popular one with our mother. I knew that Sophia wanted to spend time with dad, she wanted to make up for all of the years that we had missed out on. Being away from dad has always been hard on Sophia, she missed him a lot, I know that she wished she could go back to Holby and be with him. I wasn't surprised when Sophia told me that she was applying to Holby for a college place. Ever since we had started seeing dad again she had talked about wanting to spend more time with him. I know that Sophia was afraid of how mum would react when she found out about it. Mum didn't approve of us visiting dad, she really hated the idea of us going to the wedding. I knew that she wouldn't stop us, that she would give in to us going even if she didn't like it. It was hard for Sophia to find the courage that she needed to tell mum about wanting to go back to Holby. She knew that mum would be mad at her for the choice that she had made.

I am proud of Sophia for having the courage to tell mum that she wants to see dad and spend some time with him, it was hard for her to say everything that needed to be said. Sophia isn't sure that mum will ever forgive her, I think that she will come around eventually, she can't stay mad at her forever. Mum is mad at me because I helped Sophia move to Holby, she thinks that I deliberately went against her and sided with dad. I tried to tell her that I wasn't taking sides and that I was just helping Sophia to do what she needed to. I don't understand why mum doesn't want us to see dad, we are related to him too. Surely she must realise that even though her and dad are divorced, he is still our dad and he still family to us. I have to wonder if she hates him so much that she would have us never see him again. I don't know if I could hate someone that I'd one loved enough to have children with them. I know that dad wants any relationships that Sophia and I have throughout our lives to be different and to last for a long time. If anyone broke Sophia's heart then dad would hunt them down and make them suffer for it.

Emilie and Sophia are talking to each other, it is clear to me that Sophia is very happy that Emilie is having a baby. I can see that she is smiling as she talks, no doubt Sophia will have plenty of questions for Emilie in the coming days. Sophia has always wanted to be a big sister and now she has the chance to be one, I think that she will make a very good sister to the baby. Dad sits next to me, he doesn't say anything at first, I think that he wants to talk to me about the new baby. I look over at dad, he seems to be trying to find the right words to say to me. 'Congratulations dad, you and Emilie deserve this chance to have a family together.'

'I still love you and your sister, I want you to know that won't ever change. You two are my children and I love you both very much.'

'I know how much you love us and Sophia knows it too. I will be glad to welcome my brother or sister into this world when he or she is born.'

'I don't want either of you to think that I don't care for you, or that my feelings will change once the baby has been born.'

'Of course we don't think that way.'

'I'm glad to hear it.' I can hear the relief in dad's voice that Sophia and I know he loves us, I think that he worries we might think he will love the new baby more than us. I know that dad wouldn't do that, he has proved how much he loves us over the years.

I am glad that I have the chance to spend some time with dad, Emilie, and Sophia before I have to go back to university. 'How does it feel knowing that you are about to be a father again?'

'I remember what it was like when I was about to become your father; I was nervous and scared, I thought that I wouldn't have a clue what to do. I thought that I would get it all wrong and mess it all up. I wasn't sure if I was entirely prepared for becoming a father on the day you were due to arrive.'

'Did that change when I was born?'

'It did, I think that I was acting on instinct, I just knew how to hold you so that you would be safe. Everything changed when I held you in my arms, all of the worries I'd had disappeared, it was that moment I realised that I knew how to be your father and take care of you.' I heard dad breathe out and then he continued. 'It was the same when Sophia was born, I fell in love with her right away, just like I had with you. I wanted you both to have the best of everything in life. I was determined to make sure that you had everything you needed, that you would be loved and cared for.'

'Then you'll be able to do it again, the new baby is lucky to have you as a father.'

'Thanks son, it means a lot to me to hear you say that.'

'I mean it, you have been a brilliant father to Sophia and I.' I felt dad put his hand on my shoulder, he is smiling, I know that I have said the right things to him.

Dad seems quite happy to sit with me as Emilie and Sophia are still talking to each other. 'You have all of this still to come, there will be a day when you become a father too, you will know exactly what I am talking about when you hold your son or daughter for the first time.'

'I think that is going to be a long time away yet. I want to finish university and get a good job before I think about having children with someone.'

'That's good, you really don't want to be in too much of a hurry. Take your time, you will know if you are with the right person, it is better to wait for the right person to come into your life.'

'Like you and Emilie?'

'Exactly like that, I had to wait a long time for her, but it was worth it. I hope that she feels the same way as I do, that I was worth waiting for.'

'She does, anyone can see that she loves you.'

'I know, I am a lucky man, I have a woman that loves me for who I am, flaws and all.'

'You love her too, I can see it.'

'I do, very much so. Coming home to Emilie makes it all worth it.'

'I want a relationship like that one day.'

'You will find it, you're my son, you've inherited my good looks.'

'Hopefully I won't inherit your receding hairline too.'

'Cheeky bugger.' I hear dad start laughing, I am glad that he doesn't take my jokes about his hair too seriously, he knows that I am only messing with him.

Emilie has come over to join me as dad is now talking to Sophia, she sits down in the chair that dad has just left. 'John, I hope that you are okay with the news that I am having a baby.'

'Of course I am.'

'You and Sophia mean everything to your dad, he loves you both a lot.'

'I know he does.'

'I care for you both too, I know that we're not related, but I don't think that it matters.'

'It doesn't matter, you are married to dad and that makes you part of this family.'

'Thank you, I am glad to be a part of this family.'

'You stuck with dad when he needed someone to help him with everything that he was going through, a lot of other people would have left him on his own.'

'Leaving him wasn't an option, I love him too much.'

'He feels the same way you do, that is why he went to the counselling for you.'

'Your dad went there for you and Sophia too, he wanted to get better so he could see you two again. He was trying to protect you both, he didn't want you two to see him when he was at his worst.'

'I think it was a good idea, Sophia would have only been upset to see dad in pain.'

'It was hard on me, it would have been too hard for Sophia to see him in that way. I think it would have been hard on you as well.'

'It might have been, I don't know for sure, I would have tried to help out if I could.'

'Of course you would have, I can see how much you love your dad.'

'I do, he has given up so much for me. I am glad that he is okay now.'

'He is, I am glad too.' I see the smile that appears on Emilie's face, she worked so hard to help dad when he needed her the most. He is lucky to have someone that loves him so much. I am grateful to Emilie for not giving up on dad, for fighting so hard to get him the help that he needed.

Sophia comes over and sits next to me, dad has gone over to Emilie and he is making sure that she is sitting down and resting. Dad gives Emilie a hug every now and then, I hear Sophia sigh happily. 'Look at dad and Emilie, they are so in love with each other.'

'I know, dad is happy, Emilie makes him happy.'

'She does. I have promised dad that I will look after Emilie for him now that she is pregnant.'

'I think that he will worry less if he knows that you are looking after her.'

'I want to look after her and our future brother or sister. I hope she has a girl.'

'Three women in the house, I wonder how dad will cope.'

'Girls are better than boys, at least they don't smell funny.'

'Boys do not smell funny.'

'They do, some of them don't bathe often enough.'

'You can't put me in that category, I bathe quite frequently.'

'You're one of the rare ones then.'

'I bet dad takes a shower every night.'

'Probably because Emilie makes him.' I laugh at the thought of Emilie herding dad into the shower and watching him to make sure that he washes properly.

I sense that Sophia is trying to ask me something, I wait for her to decide whether she wants to do it or not. 'John, is mum still angry with you?'

'She'll come around, she will get over it.'

'I don't think that she will forgive me for moving to Holby.'

'She will, give her time.'

'I just wanted to be with dad for a while.'

'I know, don't worry about it, you need to do what is right for you.'

'You got into trouble though, mum was very mad at you, I heard her shouting.'

'She can shout at me all she likes, I am an adult and I can make my own decisions.'

'Even so, she should be angry at me and not everyone else.'

'Mum will come around in the end, she always does, just give it time.' I barely see Sophia nod her head, I hope that mum does come around and forgive Sophia. I think that life is too short for families to stay angry at each other for the rest of their lives.

Sophia is genuinely worried that mum will stay mad at her forever, I think that mum will come around sooner or later. 'Sophia, you like being with dad and Emilie, don't you?'

'I do, it is nice to be with them and be part of a family again.'

'You should focus on that, your happiness is what matters.'

'I am happy, I am going to be a big sister. I hope that Emilie will let me help her look after the baby when he or she is born. I can't wait to meet the little one.'

'I am sure that Emilie will be glad of the help.'

'I think that it will be good practice for when I have a baby of my own.'

'Assuming that your date passes dad's high standards.'

'Oh, yeah, I will bring someone nice home to meet him.'

'He will give the guy a good talking to before he gets to take you anywhere.'

'It means that he loves me and cares for me.'

'Of course he does.' I pity the man that wants to take Sophia out somewhere, I would not want to be on the end of his interrogation.

The sun has started to go down, Sophia is playing with Little Abs on the grass, dad and Emilie are sat together and dad has his arm around her. I wish that I had more chances to come and visit everyone, being at university keeps me busy though. I hope that once I am near to the end of my course then I will get the chance to move somewhere closer to dad. I want to be able to see everyone on a regular basis and visit my new brother or sister. I am glad that I am here right now, it has been a great day and I have enjoyed myself. I know that I don't have to return to the university just yet, I can stay here for a little while longer. I like being with my family, it is nice to know that I will always have somewhere to come to that I can call home. I know that I will always be welcome to visit whenever I have some free time.

I watch dad and Emilie as they sit together in the shade, dad has his arms around Emilie and he is whispering into her ear every so often. I am happy that my dad has found someone like Emilie, I know that she will take care of him. I hope that I will have a relationship like theirs one day, I hope that I find someone who is my equal. I want someone that I can respect and love in equal measure. I take a deep breath and join Sophia in playing with Little Abs, I am going to make the most of the time that I have in Holby before I have to return to university. I know that I will have some very good memories from this visit to take back with me.