After I hadn't answered for a few seconds, Cato sat up hurriedly. He had immediately become worried in the minimal seconds that he has assessed the horror on my face.
"Rose, what's wrong?" Cato repeats with a slight edge in his tone. He places his cold hand against the small of my naked back, making me shiver more than when it's the winter
Maybe I'm overreacting... I mean, I can't ensure that I would even be pregnant until two weeks after possible conception, so it's way too early to tell. Plus, sex does not always lead to immediate pregnancy. I learned in health class that there is a period of about a week and a half of every month where women can't get pregnant. I'm praying to the heavens that this is the case.
I only just turned sixteen. I can't have a baby so early. Yes, I can take care of any kid, from the troublemakers to the silents, but that only works when the baby isn't mine. My mother would have a heart attack, and if Katniss was here, she'd kill me before the baby could even think about beginning to develop. I'm not ready, and I should have known that before engaging in this activity without thinking about the consequences.
Who can think with Cato around, though? Technically, this potential dilemma is all his fault. He has the painful ability to blind a girl with a single smile, his teeth shining bright like the moon, and his eyes burning into mine like the sun when I try to look up at it. Cato is the perfect distraction, but he's the worst distraction as well. Just a single kiss from that man turns my heart into a liquid mass of what looks like red dye instead of my organ. I really need to learn to control myself with him. That way I can avoid stuff like this.
If it is true, Cato would make the perfect dad, unlike me being a Mommy. He's very protective of anything he feels an inkling of love for. He has a heart of steel, but also a heart of gold, meaning he loves so hard that it's impossible for him to focus on anything else but whatever he feels for. Cato is caring, and would make sure that the baby had everything it needed, and all the love it wanted, even if it meant he'd have to suffer.
Just thinking about it makes me smile. Seeing Cato with his baby girl, smiling down at her while she grips onto her Daddy's pinky as if it were what was keeping her alive and well.
God, what am I gonna do?
"Ok, Rose," Cato interrupts my fog of thoughts. "While you stare into space, I'm going to shower. You want to join?"
My eyes widen, but not at the thought of showering with Cato. Should I tell him, or wait until I can confirm it? I don't want to throw it on him and have him either angry or happy for something that won't be true in the future...
No. I can't tell him.
I've got about a month until we get back to the Capitol where I can be appropriately tested by professionals. That way, I won't be stirring up any drama before we can ensure anything.
My vision is blinded as Cato places a kiss on my lips. "I'll take that as a no."
Cato jumps up from the bed completely nude, making his way to the bathroom leisurely. I sat in my spot, unsure of what to say or do.
Since I'm unsure of anything, I should act as though nothing is wrong. I can go through my day as normally as it would be if I didn't know anything about this. That shouldn't be hard, anyway. Effie opening her mouth could yield any of my thoughts... it could also make me sick, but we're not gonna go there.
Bracing myself, I slowly rise, trying hard not to disturb the possible seed, even though it's not even big enough to sleep. I carefully lower Cato's shirt over my body to cover my private area, slipping on my underwear as well.
Today was my 'day off' as Effie put it. We had been through three districts already, and I really was looking forward to a nice rest. It takes almost two days entirely to get to district four, so we'd all be resting until then, thank heavens.
Maybe Cato and I could stay in, watch a movie and have food sent to our room so we wouldn't have to leave? Yes, that would be nice.
I should shower... my skin is covered with sticky sweat and I basically smell like sex, and Cato... I feel my cheeks grow with a smile, letting my memories pass through my brain like a train rolling on the tracks. The man was good at everything he did.
I walk into the bathroom with Cato not noticing over the sound of the shower. I could faintly hear him singing to himself, like he was his own personal concert.
I giggled and snuck behind him in the shower. Cato's eyes were screwed shut as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair, so when his eyes finally opened, he'd almost slipped and fell onto the marble floor.
"Fuck, Rose!" Cato clutched his heart, holding onto it as if it threatened to escape his chest at any moment. "Don't scare me like that!"
I couldn't control my fits of laughter, holding onto my chest before I burned it out through giggles. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," I struggle to say while catching my breath.
My arms slowly reach for my towel, but Cato stops me. "I'm your towel," he says, grinning down at me. He squeezes soap into his hands, massaging them together to create a soapy disaster in his hands. Cato's hand lock on my neck as he begins to rub the soap onto my shoulders.
I roll my eyes playfully. "I don't remember honoring you with that title, Mr. Hadley. Being my towel comes with a lot of responsibility I don't think you'll be able to handle."
"Wanna bet?" There's a playful glint in his eyes as he rubs my body down with soap. When he reaches my stomach, I tense a little, but he doesn't seem to notice. He's too engrossed in the mighty task of ridding my body of the sticky sweat I had accumulated over the night to feel the tension.
I raise my eyebrow, mirroring the sly grin on his face as he finally rinses me clean, no funny business involved whatsoever. I was surprised, because now I sense that all he thinks about is sex.
"Are you up for a challenge?" I reach out of the shower to grab my body towel. Cato turns to shut the water off and I hand him his towel as I step out.
"Always, baby." I dry myself before folding the towel around me, locking it tight at the top so that it doesn't slip off of me.
"You'll have to catch me first," I mumble, slowly turning in the direction of the bathroom door.
"I'll always catch you."
I raise my eyebrows speculatively. "Are you sure?"
Cato shrugs lightly, rubbing his hands together. "Let's see." He was obviously ready for the challenge.
I slowly make my way to the door, pretending I had no clue what was going on. I watched from the corner of my eye, waiting for Cato to make his move.
As soon as he lunge for me, I squealed and jumped out the door, turning to slam it shut before he could get to me. I laughed as I held the door closed, trying it's all my strength to prevent him from getting out.
"Open the door Rose," Cato called through the door. I could hear the smile on his face.
I looked around the room, spotting my robe on the doorknob. I let to of the door, racing toward it with cat-like grace and speed. I picked it up and ran so quickly, I swear my legs could fall off.
My ears picked up the sound of Cato's heavy feet hitting the ground as he ran after me. I couldn't stop squealing with delight and fear of him actually getting to me before I could escape. I tied on my robe in the process of escaping my capturer, stopping in the dining cart where Effie was eating her breakfast.
I ran to the opposite side of the table that Cato was on, holding onto the edges tightly. I smiled at him innocently and he laughed loudly. Effie jumps, almost dropping her spoon onto the floor.
"What on earth is going on?" Effie asks, shocked at our heavy breathing and playful smirks. We had shook the table, almost knocking the china into what would have been a huge pile of shards on the floor.
I shake my head, trying to catch my breath. "Nothing."
Cato bites down on his lip, his hands clenching the table tightly. His tongue swipes effortlessly across his lips and he smiles. "Yeah. Nothing."
He slowly walks around the table, inching closer to me, and Effie watches is, confusion etched in her brows. "Well sit down and eat! There's no use in staring at one another."
"I'm not hungry" I rush out of my mouth, my eyes never leaving Cato's.
"I am." There's a fire burning in his eyes, and I know what he wants.
"Well what would you like?" Effie asks, completely oblivious to the context of his hunger.
"Rose knows what I want."
I take a few steps back before jolting out of the cart, making my way (downtown, walking fast, faces passed and I'm homebound... get it? Haha, ok carry on) to the very last train car before he could say anything more. The man was restless, like a little jackrabbit that never wanted to stop playing.
I'm finally trapped, with nowhere else to go, and Cato is closing in on me. I press my back onto the wall, hoping to miraculously find an invisibility cloak somewhere.
Just as I am looking around for my cloak, Cato bursts into the car, a thin coat of sweat mirroring the perfect shape of his face.
"I told you I would always catch you." His voice is at a lower, huskier tone than before.
I take a step forward, not wanting to run anymore. He caught me, like always. I would never fall again.
"I knew you would."
My face is held in his large hands and he kisses me powerfully, bursting the dam in my heart that was long awaiting its release. Our bodies molded together like clay being formed into a beautiful art piece.
My mind raced to the thought of a baby, our baby, and suddenly I wasn't so scared of the idea. We could handle it, like we handle everything else.
I just wonder what Cato would think about us having one so early.
We're caught by one of the peacekeepers, who very angrily ushers us out of the cart and back to our room. We couldn't stop giggling like little girls on a playground, like there was some unknown joke that we both couldn't get enough of.
Cato held an arm around me as we made our way back to the bedroom, being stalked by the watchful eyes of everyone watching us run like children. We both smiled mischievously. They should have known this would happen with two young people aboard.
In reality, he didn't have to chase me very much when we first met. It was like we both knew our future and what we wanted without needing any sort of discussion or time to figure it out. We were pulled together by our opposite attraction, like a magnet, forced together. It would be hard to try to pull us apart.
Once Cato shuts our bedroom door, I immediately go to the closet, picking out one of Cato's sweaters to drape over myself. It's the one thing I could always be comfortable in, especially with Cato's woodsy scent swaddling the air around me. The wool trapped me, engulfing me with the swirls of black and grey it also held. I seriously had no intention of wearing pants, or a bra, for that matter. The sweater was big enough to cover my chest so I wasn't uncomfortable, and my bottom half would be tucked under our sheets, so really it wouldn't matter.
Cato wouldn't stop smiling like a giddy idiot, still rising out the excitement high he had gotten from chasing me.
"You hungry?" he asks as he slips on his clothes. He was putting pajamas back on, as I did.
"Your type of hungry or my type of hunger?" I ask, trying to keep my laughter in.
Cato's laugh booms throughout the room. "Yours-" he stops, thinking for a moment. "At least for right now." Cato wiggles his eyebrows at me.
I nod, staring at him while trying to contain my smile. "What would you like?" I call as I walk into the bathroom to scrub my teeth and wash my face. I can't stand the feeling of dirty teeth or a dirty face.
"Anything," he yells back.
He'll be surprised when the plate comes in and there's vegemite on it. I'm sure he doesn't mean just anything.
"What are you doing?" Cato asks as I lay in bed and grab the remote. "Aren't you going to eat?"
I wave my hand dismissively, turning on the television. The entire wall illuminates with some cartoon show. "I'll have someone send us food."
"We can do that?" There's disbelief in his voice.
"Yea, there's a button for it on the remote."
Cato shrugs and plops down onto the bed with me, slipping his glasses on to read the words on the screen. He covers himself with our sheets as wind picks up outside our window. It's really starting to get cooler around here. The Games began in the middle of the summer, the second week of July, and since then, I really haven't had the time to go outside and enjoy the weather much, and now I really won't have the time to. I really hate the cold weather. It's so depressing, sad and dark, nothing to brighten up even the darkest of moods except for the snow. Snow would be the only happy thing, if I liked it. It's too cold and wet for my tastes.
If this is true and Cato and I have a baby, it'd probably be due in the summer. It's the first week of November now, but we're down in the south so it's warmer here than it probably is in Twelve.
As we're waiting for the food to arrive, we watch the Capitol news channel. There's a segment on how my tour is going so far, thousands of pictures of me flashing across the screen from the reaping all the way until now. They're really into documenting every step I take, I'm surprised they haven't revealed that I've lost my virginity. The Capitol would go so far to do something like that, and I know that they're watching me and Cato. I've known that from the beginning, but I've learned to cope with it instead of be paranoid.
Maybe now's the time to ask Cato about having a kid. We're both calm and happy, so maybe that'll put him in a brighter mood about it.
"Cato?"
"Hm."
"What do you think about babies?" I ask slowly. I don't look up at him, too nervous to see how he's going to react.
Cato turns to frown at me, the reflection from the window in his lenses. "I like them well enough, I guess." He shrugs. "Why?" Well that's a great sign. And he does an amazing job with Charlie so...
I shrug, pretending as if I don't know what I'm going on about. "I dunno." I pick at the fabrics on the quilt around me, stalling. I want to ask him what he thought about us having one, but I didn't know how. I guess I'm just going to have to push it out of my system... like I would push a baby-
Ok, nevermind that.
"What do you think about us having kids?" I ask, dragging out each word as it left my mouth.
"No," he answers too quickly. "No we can't-" he pauses suddenly, staring at me with wide eyes.
My eyebrows furrow, confused as to why he was looking at me that way. Then it clicks. He must have figured out what I did this morning, realizing what the possible outcome to our mistakes can be. His eyes train on my invisible stomach, and he gulps.
I was about to ask him something before he recovered, his face contorting back to normal.
He shakes his head once more. "We can't have kids."
"Why not?" I ask, a little offended at his comment. If anything, I'd think Cato would love to have a kid. He could finally prove to be something his father could never be man enough to become. Plus, Charlie would love to have a little niece or nephew to play with.
"Because we can't, and I don't want kids." That can't be true. It really can't be.
"But-"
"No more discussion about it!" he yells abruptly. "We are not having any kids and that's final!"
I pout, but say nothing more.
Cato's in for a rude awakening.
So I'm still trying to think about whether or not I'm going the pregnancy route, but you guys probably won't find out my decision for at least two more chapters. Wait patiently, grasshopper, for your time will soon come.
A happy belated birthday goes out to our Primrose, aka Willow shields, who is now 15! I forgot to say so the chapter I posted around her bday.
Stay awesome babes.
Vote, comment, share, follow and thank you so much for reading!
Cheers. 🐥
Laters, baby.
Myesha xx
