Love at First Sight

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 54


BPOV

My stomach grew overnight. I looked like a spider. My arms and legs were the same size, my stomach just ballooned out. One minute I was wearing my same clothes – although my jeans were really tight but I was wearing them. The next, I had to go shopping with Esme, Alice and Rosalie for looser clothes.

Back in Forks, I told them I'd start by buying regular clothes in a bigger size instead of going right into maternity clothes but at the rate this increase came on, I had no choice but to consider wearing them now. We found a site called Motherhood Maternity that had stores in New Hampshire so we drove one town over to avoid bumping into any of the kids from school to do our shopping.

I was surprised at the clothes. The jeans looked just like regular jeans except for the stretchy band which meant that I wouldn't have to buy new clothes every few weeks. They had a line called Secret Fit Belly which was supposed to support your belly and make your clothes look better and eliminated the appearance of your belly button. I bought jeans, sweaters and a new coat for school and running around. Yoga pants, under the belly velour pants and hoodies to exercise and lounge around and I also got a few maternity t-shirts to wear around the house. This pregnancy may be a secret to outsiders but at home I could revel in the pride of bringing a new life into the world. I also got some cute sleepwear. I know Edward wouldn't care if I went to sleep in sweats but I wanted to look pretty. This is supposed to be a fun time so I intend to enjoy every minute of it especially since I may not get another chance at this.

It turned out to be a fun trip, absolutely stress free. I set ground rules before we walked into the store and everyone respected them. I finally know how to handle Alice or maybe she just let me get my own way because I'm pregnant. Esme suggested I get some cocoa butter cream to avoid stretch marks which led to talks of spa treatments during pregnancy. Of course, we ended up at a spa having facials, manicures and pedicures. I got back all relaxed and happy with my purchases.

After that first day we felt the baby, it seemed that he/she was always moving. Maybe we were more in tuned with the movements now so it was easier to recognize them. I can't believe that a little baby – the size of a banana could move around so much.

I loved feeling the baby moving because that meant it was strong and healthy. Sharing this with Edward as we lay in bed or while we lounge around and seeing how happy the whole family was with the progress of the pregnancy made me feel content.

Although I stressed the need to keep things normal, I was still treated like a queen. I had no household chores and everyone was waiting on me constantly. Rosalie came up with some ridiculous reason for not cleaning – something about household cleaners and pregnancy. I didn't have many chores to begin with because they don't sleep so they clean while I'm asleep leaving me very little to do besides clean our bathroom. They would have done that also but I refused to let them clean up after me. Now even that was taken away. I realized that my sole responsibility right now was keeping myself and the baby safe so I'm letting them get away with it. After the baby is born, everything will be back to normal.

At least I still walk around on my own but that isn't going to last long. Every time I get to the top of the stairs, I could feel the tension rolling off Edward. Soon he's just going to pick me up and take me downstairs. When he does, I've decided to let him have his little victory. There is no need to act independent over something as silly as that and soon walking down two flights of stairs will become dangerous.

As the baby grew, my cravings increased. I went a few days of refusing to eat anything but salty snacks. The first time this happened, since there was no junk food in the house, Edward had to go to the store. Rosalie volunteered to go but he wanted to do it himself. I guess it's that caveman – I have to feed my woman thing.

Then it was a combination of salty and sweet snacks, chocolate covered pretzels were my new friends but I couldn't stand the sight of my beloved chocolate covered strawberries. At this point, I think Edward nearly lost his mind. This was always my favorite treat. How could I refuse to eat it?

"At least she's not craving chalk or dirt or anything gross." Alice chimed in.

"What do you know about cravings shorty?" Emmett asked.

"I read about it on the internet, there are women who crave all sorts of things that humans shouldn't be eating."

After that, he went along with all the cravings without blinking an eye. His aim was to keep me happy and as long as I wasn't eating or drinking anything harmful to myself or the baby, he was ready to go along with the madness.

At first, my unusual cravings were challenging because it meant running to the store at all hours to get what I wanted but Esme came to the rescue by buying enough groceries and snacks to feed a small village so any crazy combination I wanted, was readily available. I felt bad about all the trouble I was causing but she said after the pregnancy, the food could go to the local food bank or the church for their community outreach program.

One morning I refused to have eggs and insisted I wanted a rare hamburger instead. Then I wanted relish, mustard and ketchup on it like a hotdog. To wash that down, I had a chai latte. Luckily we had one of those individual serving machines that make all the drinks sold at a coffee shop so Edward didn't have to rush out to get my desired drink. For the most part, I still had my healthy foods. I just added condiments to everything.

Every night I wanted ice cream. The more complicated the mix the better so Ben and Jerry's became my favorite nighttime treat – they have a flavor called "Late Night Snack" made from vanilla ice cream with a salty caramel swirl & fudge covered potato chip clusters. Sometimes I'd fall asleep after a few spoonfuls but at other times, I'd gobble it all down, scraping the container. At least I don't have to worry about getting enough calcium.

"I'm sorry if I'm making everyone's life crazy with these cravings." I said at the dinner table one night. They have all been patient through this. Buying whatever I craved, taking turns to cook whatever combinations of foods I wanted and watching in amazement as I demolished it like a starving lumberjack.

"You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella. Your body has cravings. We all understand that."

Like everyone else, Rosalie has been very supportive during all these changes. From back in Forks, she took on the role of big sister and I went to her for advice to maneuver through the maze of Edward's crazy behavior and moods in the beginning of our relationship.

Now, besides Edward, she is my anchor. Again I turned to her when Edward started acting like a tyrant. She's my sounding board when I wanted to vent, an understanding ear when I just want to get things off my chest and a voice of reason when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and want to kill Edward with my bare hands. I could not have made it through the early weeks without her. One day, after I finished ranting and raving, she gave me a thigh hug and we had a heartfelt conversation.

"Bella, I'm so proud of you for having the courage to go through with this pregnancy, especially knowing how risky it is. I can't tell you how much I admire your fortitude. First you accepted us as your family and now you're giving Edward the greatest gift possible. By having this baby, you're fulfilling a dream of mine. A dream I had to give up after Carlisle changed me. Just before my transformation, all I wanted was to have a child but it was not to be so I reconciled myself to never holding a baby in my arms. I made my peace with my fate and I was happy with Emmett. Now you're giving me back a piece of that dream. I know this will not be the same as having a child of my own but I'm looking forward to holding your baby in my arms. That would be one of the happiest days of my life, second only to finding my Emmett and I will love that baby as much as I would have loved my own."

I held her hands in mine and looked up at her with tears running down my face. Damn hormones.

"I'm glad you feel that way about the baby. One of the things I thought about before Edward and I decided to have a child was your story. I could never forget how much you wanted children. I know you have a lot of love to offer a child; in fact, I thought about everyone in our unique family and knew everyone had something special to offer a child. Besides having a baby with the man of my dreams, I was influenced by all your stories. I thought a baby would really bring us all closer as a family so I was determined to talk to Edward about the possibility of trying."

"All our hearts are overflowing with love for you and your unborn child. Edward calls you his angel but you're more than just his angel. You were sent to us. Not only are you making Edward the happiest man in the universe, you're giving me something to hope for, you're giving Esme something she never thought she'd have after her baby died all those decades ago and you're giving Alice a real live doll to dress every day." That last part made us both laugh.

Again she pulled me to her chest, holding me there for a few minutes. Both of us lost in thought. This was exactly why I decided to try for a baby. I remembered the day I had my talk with Billy. The seed was planted that day as I looked around the room at my family, knowing deep inside me, that it was the right thing to do. Any child born into this family would be blessed. Spoilt rotten but loved unconditionally. The most precious Cullen gift is unconditional love. Look at the miraculous changes it made in my life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I speak to Charlie and Renee regularly. I keep reassuring Charlie that I'm doing fine. He doesn't know that I'm further along that he thinks but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. He's just happy that I'm healthy and that Carlisle is here to take care of me if anything goes wrong.

Last weekend when I spoke to him, I asked him if I was christened. Renee never mentioned anything about Godparents so he doesn't know if I was. Knowing my erratic harebrained mother, it never crossed her mind so I'm assuming that it never happened. I can't ask her because although she acts flighty, at times she can be very intuitive so I want to have a story in place before bringing up that topic with her. If I tell her that Edward is a vampire, I know I could convince her that it's true and she'll even think she had a suspicion about that already but for her own safety, we can't tell her the truth. I've been going crazy trying to think of a way to explain the baby because I want her to be a part of the baby's life just like Charlie. All we need is a good reason to explain the fast growth then I could give her the great news.

I read Anne Rice's Mayfair witches series recently and the story of the Taltos reminded me of how fast this baby will be growing. I decided to send that series to Renee – she believes in the supernatural and after she reads the books, I could sway her to think the baby is like that. It would be very easy to get her interested in the books because she likes those types of stories. She even has a series she watched religiously on TV. Eager to put my plan in place, I called her up immediately.

After we spoke a few minutes about Phil, Edward and the rest of the family, I asked.

"Mom, are you reading anything now."

"I'm almost finished the last book from one of the sets you and Edward gave me for Christmas – 'The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest'. Phil and I went to see the movie for the first book. It was great. Have I told you how much we love the digital readers? I don't have to worry about forgetting what page I was reading because it saves it automatically and I don't have to carry around a big book."

"I'm surprised you remember to keep it charged." I thought of how far she's come with the use of technology over the past two years. When I first moved to Forks she couldn't even keep her cell phone charged; now she's using a e-reader.

"The battery lasts a few days without charging but Phil reminds me to charge it every night when he charges his."

"I just finished a series about witches I thought you might like."

"That's great, send me the names and I'll ask Phil to download them for me."

"I have your password from when we set up the reader so unless you changed it, I could download them for you."

"I haven't changed it. I was so busy with the books you already downloaded; I haven't had time to go online to look for more. I can't believe how fast I read these three but the story was a real page turner. I was planning on reading 'A Game of Thrones' series next but I'll read the ones you're sending and save this set for when baseball season starts. I'll have a lot of free time while Phil is at his practices. I can't believe that spring training is right around the corner."

"Yes the time is flying; I hope we'll be able to see you this summer." If everything goes as planned, we could take her grandchild to see her.

"Do you have a pen to write down the names of the books? The author is Anne Rice and the books are, 'The Witching Hour, Lasher and Taltos'."

We talked for a little longer, then I logged into her account and downloaded the three books along with some other books from the 'Supernatural' series she watches on TV.

I turned my attention back to my problem. If I wasn't christened in the Catholic Church and of course none of the family had baptism documents for this century or was a regular member of a church, then we couldn't have the baby christened at the Catholic Church because they require proof of church membership. Edward mentioned getting Jenks to make up documents but I didn't think it was necessary to go that far. I know he would do anything to get the baby christened because this is what I want but I told him to put that on hold until we looked at all the other options available to us.

I looked at other churches on the internet and found the Methodist Church was more lenient. The only requirement for parents and sponsors/Godparents was a meeting with the pastor for one hour at least a week prior to the scheduled date of the christening. During this session we would be given information on the United Methodist understanding of baptism and the history associated with the sacrament. Their hope was that the parents and Godparents would bring up the child to follow the teachings of the church.

"Edward, I found a church to christen the baby." I told him about my findings and we discussed timing.

"If the baby grows this fast after it's born, then it will be the size of a three month old in April, which would be a good time for the christening."

"Most of the kids from school should be gone until next semester but to be safe, we should go to a church in another town."

We looked up the church office a few towns over to schedule an appointment. We also decided to go to the church a few times before the baby was born to get familiar with the order of service, to let people get used to seeing us in church and to get a feel for the community. Edward could put his skills to use – if anyone gets suspicious of us we'll have enough time to look for another church. I was glad this was settled; one less thing to worry about.

When we told our family about the christening, they were all pleased to be Godparents. This is a very important role and even after all these years of being vampires, they recognized the importance of this and were touched by our decision to have the baby christened and to make them Godparents. Alice immediately started talking about baptism outfits. Babies both boys and girls could wear a gown so this was easy. She skipped off to her laptop and sketch pads, bubbling over with excitement. If the baby turns out to be a girl, she'll be overjoyed. I could picture her in something like a mini wedding dress – white silk, satin and lace. I decided to talk to her about a Victorian styled christening outfit.

My dreams were no help with determining the sex of this baby. I still dreamt of boys and girls – all different combinations of Edward and myself. Even babies that look like neither of us, making me wonder what crazy combination could come out of our gene pools. Unlike the dreams on the island, these are all happy dreams; beautiful bouncing babies, furry baby animals, sunshine and lots of water. Sometimes I even dream of hunting with Edward and my baby but the most vivid dreams were about sex and my daily activities – it was weird reliving my days in minute details. I know I've always had strange dreams but I don't know what to make of these so like I've always done, I just put them out of my mind. Well except for the sex dreams which I try to recreate with Edward as soon as possible.

Recreating the dream about having sex in a bathroom stall at the movies, was just as good as the dream. In fact, it was even better. We were still in the stall, when someone came into the bathroom – luckily all the moaning, groaning and growling was over by then. I wanted to giggle at the thought of someone coming in a few minutes earlier or a minute later but I had to be quiet. I had to bite my lips to keep from chuckling the more I thought of having to stop in the middle of the act and wait for her to leave but with Edward's mind reading, he would have heard her long before she came into the bathroom. Still, I found the situation amusing. After the coast was clear, he left the stall, listened at the door then walked out with me still in his arms.

I don't know why we waste our money to go to the movies because I could never pay attention to the screen but it's definitely worth wasting the price of the movie ticket if it ends like this. Could we build our own movie room at the house? Do people in New Hampshire have basements? This is something we should look into. On second thought, we don't really need any stimuli to make love; we just naturally want to be together as much as possible. The electricity is always present, electrifying my senses and zinging through my body at his every touch.

That night was very intense. There was an added excitement; I don't know if it was the extra electric currents or the illicit act itself and like the dream, when I put my panty in my mouth, Edward lost control. I was reminded of a time we had sex in the forest, the way he let his feelings take control, using his superhuman speed which added to the delicious friction. Our desire was fueled by the emotionally charged atmosphere; we abandoned all conscious thought and lived for the moment. That's the way it was for me and I felt that sense of abandonment with him that was so rare but knowing Edward, prevalent in the back of his mind, like always, was the need to keep me safe; to not let go too far because of his fear of hurting me. At one point, I felt his teeth dragging along the side of my neck, my body tensed in anticipation for that extra rush I get from his love bites but didn't bite me. I don't know if it was because he didn't trust himself to control the desire for more or if it was because my blood is not as appealing to him. Since I started taking the transfusions, he mentioned that I didn't smell the same.

Later that tonight while I was sleeping, I'm sure he chastised himself for being too rough but it's nice to see him being himself sometimes because he usually has himself under such tight control. I know it's for my protection but I'm sure it's hard for him to always have to put my safety before everything. The last time we spoke about this, he assured me that even if he has to hold back when we're together, being with me is still extremely pleasurable.

"Never for one second worry about me not being satisfied or missing anything because I can't lose control with you. That's just a minor detail and doesn't detract from the pleasure I get when we're together. Nothing could compare to being buried inside your tight, hot pussy. It doesn't matter if I move fast or slow or just stop to relish the feeling. It's sensational. I can't image it getting any better. The only thing that would change for me after your transformation is the fact that you wouldn't get tired or need sleep so we could make love for days without leaving our bed or the forest or wherever we are at the time so you see, losing control with you is not important. In fact, even when you are unbreakable, I doubt I will ever be able to treat you any differently. It may take decades for me to get used to the fact that you're no longer fragile."

Then he kissed the tip of my nose and laughed at my red cheeks.

"Don't be embarrassed. I just wanted to reassure you that I'm not missing anything. I know I mentioned that our love making will get better after your transformation but it wasn't my strength I was talking about, it was the intensity of the pleasure you would derive from your vampire senses. Your pleasure will increase tremendously. The only thing I'm looking forward to is making love to you for days without stopping but we'll have to wait until you get over your newborn craze before we get back to this."

After that, I never brought it up again but the few times he's totally abandoned himself, gave me an extra degree of satisfaction. Like I told him one day, I love both he and the monster and even the monster has learned to keep me safe.

How bad is the newborn phase that I wouldn't want to be with him? Isn't our attraction for each other supposed to increase after the change? Aren't all vampire emotions more intense than humans? I know they all mentioned this before but I still can't wrap my mind around it. How could I ever go for any length of time without being intimate with him? That is something I'll just have to deal with when the time comes but I'm willing to bet that if there is anything of my old self left behind after the transformation, there is no way I could see him or touch him and not want to be with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Besides the weight, the cravings and the occasional mood swings, pregnancy is not like I expected. I haven't had any morning sickness, aches or pains. Except for that one incident of fainting, pregnancy has really been a breeze. At first, reading some of the stories on the internet had me worried but it's true what they say, each pregnancy is different. Mine more than any other. Carlisle thought this was because of the venom the baby is producing. He thinks the venom is taking away all the physical aches and pains from the pregnancy. I smiled and rubbed my belly, more power to our super baby.

I came down to breakfast one morning and Alice kept staring at me. She came over, passed her thumb over my cheeks and ran her fingers through my hair.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask. I've gotten used to them watching me while I eat and rubbing my stomach but this was strange even for Alice.

"Your skin and hair look different. Your hair is fuller, more shinny like you just had a treatment but we haven't done anything to it lately and you skin looks flawless, more like one of us than a human."

"Alice, leave her alone." My darling Edward demanded.

"No, I'm just saying, she looks different."

"It's just the pregnancy. Most women glow when they reach a certain point in their pregnancy." Esme said.

I saw Edward and Carlisle exchange looks. I'd love to know what they were thinking but in order to read his mind; I would have to lift my shield which would make my mind accessible to him. The few times I tried that, ended up with us in bed, if we weren't there already. We can't have him losing control at the breakfast table so I just have to wait to find out what was going on between them.

After that, the girls in class wanted to know if I did something to my hair or if I went away over the weekend. They couldn't figure out what it was and since they didn't know I was pregnant, the pregnancy glow was not on their mind.

At my next exam, Carlisle decided to start measuring my stomach. He explained that this wouldn't be done until week twenty of a normal pregnancy but we knew this was not normal.

"Your belly's measurement in centimeters should be close to your weeks in pregnancy." He explained.

Based on the estimate he gave us the last time, the baby was growing at twice or three times the normal rate. My measurement was 22 cm. This would mean I was closer to 18-20 weeks instead of 12. This was a very likely possibility given what we knew of the quickness of the pregnancy but even for 18 weeks, I was measuring on the big side.

We had to recalculate due dates, we were looking at the middle of March. It would be just after finals but how would I be feeling the week before that and how big will I be at that time? If all goes well, Carlisle still planned to do a c – section when I measure 40 cm. If he has to take the baby out before it's fully developed, he has the incubator ready in the hospital room.

My weight gain was up to fourteen pounds. I'm gaining about two pounds a week. He doesn't think this increase is an issue especial given the size of my belly. We agreed to increase the amount of blood to be on the safe side; if the baby is starting to develop at a faster rate, it would need all the nourishment possible. Now that we had a better idea of how the pregnancy was developing, I'll only have checkups once a week. I was glad to get away from the vitals checkup every few days.

I realized that I may not remain human after the baby is born. No one has mentioned this since the initial discussions but I know Edward and Carlisle are making plans for this. With that realization, the need to keep an accurate record of my pregnancy became very important to me. I wanted to write everything down not only as a record, but for when my memories start fading after my transformation. I went back to edit the entries I made before, adding more details.

The nursery has become my favorite place to indulge in this activity. The peacefulness of the room has a calming effect on me. Sometimes I write while I sit on Edward's lap on the glider. At other times, I sit here alone, curled up on the sill of the bay window. I brought a few pillows in here and a comforter, making a little nest on the deep window sill.

There are so many things to consider when you're having a baby. Besides worrying about the baby – I didn't have to worry about the baby being healthy but I was still worried that it would have enough room to grow and that it would get all the nutrition it needed. Then there was the issue of picking a name. Who knew that would be so time-consuming? I think I've settled on the names but I haven't told Edward yet. I want to surprise him. Now that those two things are out of the way and we've found a church to do the christening, I have a new worry - breastfeeding. Will I still be human to breastfeed? That is the key before I make any definite decision. If I'm human, I'd like to try. Who knows if the little-half vampire will like breast milk anyway? What if he/she only wants blood from the beginning? How will I feel if I want to breastfeed and the baby refuses to take the milk? The list went on and on, till I was getting headaches just thinking about it. Finally I decided to go to Carlisle.

Next time Edward went hunting – he usually went hunting on his own but I feel guilty about him always hunting by himself so sometimes I ask him to go with the guys. I know he could protect himself and that he doesn't like to stay long when he hunts but I had an ulterior motive for asking him to go hunting with his brothers. I knew if he went with them, they would stop to talk and it would give me a few hours.

I planned to use that opportunity to have my discussion with Carlisle without him hovering or worrying unnecessarily. Our conversation wouldn't take that long but I might need the time to relax afterwards because he would know immediately if I was worried about something and he would search everyone's mind until he finds out why I was upset and I don't want him having any reason to stress about the pregnancy.

"What brought you here, I know you don't like this room" He said looking around the sterile hospital room. We were sitting in the corner next to the door, where he had his desk set up.

"I've been thinking about my chances of surviving this pregnancy as a human?"

"If things go as planned, you have a 75 percent chance or higher." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"We have plans in place for every contingency. Our hope is to perform the C-section and remove the baby before it tries to come out on its own. This way, the damage to you will be minimized. If we cut you, it's just the incision we have to worry about; if the baby tries to come out it could damage internal organs and we'll have to change you immediately."

"About the incision, how long is the recovery time?"

"The incision will heal almost immediately because we'll use Edwards venom to seal the wound. It might feel sore for a few days but nothing major."

"OK, assuming you take the baby and you stitch me back up and I'm still human, will I be strong enough to breastfeed?"

"I don't see why not. Women have been doing it for ages."

"Do you think the baby will want to be breastfed?"

"Well, we know that Nahuel could survive on both human food and blood. There's no reason why you couldn't try but you have to remember that if the baby is a boy, it would be venomous. You could pump the milk into bottles and the baby would still get the benefit of breast milk but it would be easier on you."

"Thanks Carlisle, this has been on my mind a lot lately. I don't want to miss the first few days of the baby's life while I'm going through the change so I want to do whatever we have to, to ensure I have those first few days as a human."

"Bella, I understand your need to bond with your baby after the birth and we'll do everything possible to give you that time."

I got up to leave then I decided to make myself clear on another matter.

"Carlisle, as much as I want to survive this as a human, I want to survive no matter what. I cannot leave Edward alone. If anything goes wrong and you have to make a choice, my life comes first. Edward and I could live without a child but we cannot live without each other. Surviving is my number one priority."

I left him to his thoughts. I could tell that he was distressed but I knew he would go over all their plans and try to perfect them if possible. We all knew this was risky from the start; I just want us to be on the same page. It's not that we don't love the baby. It's a part of us and I would grieve if it doesn't survive but I have to put Edward first. I know how it would feel without him in my life and it would be just as devastating to him if anything happened to me, maybe even worse. He's been alone for so long, I could never fathom that degree of loneliness; I'm human so eventually I'd die but unless he gets himself destroyed, he has to live with my lost for the rest of eternity. I can't put him through that.

I decided to update my pregnancy journal while I waited for him to come home. That always relaxes me.

February 3

I am still healthy and my stomach continues to grow bigger each week. Carlisle increased my blood to three bags a day and I think Esme ordered a side of beef. I've even started eating my steak a little on the rare side. I went from well done, to medium now rare. I love the taste and the meat is always tender and juicy. I don't know who is experimenting with marinades but the meat is always perfectly seasoned. Spicy, sweet and sour, bar-b-que, smoked, the flavors kept changing so I wouldn't get bored from eating so much red meat. I don't know if it's me or the baby but I'm enjoying all the protein – steak and eggs for breakfast, hamburgers or beef stew for lunch and steak for dinner. I remember telling Charlie he should cut back on the steak and eat a salad sometimes. Now I'm the one eating steak almost every day. Sometimes I have chicken breast or salmon but I like steak the most.

Since my stomach is getting bigger each week, I decided to start signing in for my classes on the web. Rosalie and Alice would still attended classes so they would be able to turn in my assignments and work on group projects. My midterm reports were done and I was caught up on all my assignments and research papers but I'm sure I could remain focused for the rest of the semester.

When I told Carlisle about this decision – Edward and I had already discussed it, he made an appointment with both of my professors. He thought a one on one discussion was better than sending a letter. I don't know what disease he came up with but it achieved its goal. I could take my finals at a specially designated time somewhere on campus. Both professors would let me know when the exams will be ready and what time to show up. I know how persuasive my family could be and I haven't met anyone yet who could resist them so I'm not surprised with this outcome. If he could, Carlisle would hire someone from Price Waterhouse or Ernst & Young to pick up the exams and watch me do them before returning them to the professors but we have to play by the rules and this is what has to be done. The main objective is secrecy and as long as we could achieve this, I'm willing to trek down to campus to do the exam in private.

It may seem silly to want to do my final exams but I already started the semester and although I could have withdrawn before midterms and not get an incomplete grade, I wanted to finish. This might be my last few months as a human so I don't want to waste the time sitting around waiting for the baby to be born.

Despite Carlisle's reassurances, I'm not counting on making it through the birth only to be disappointed when I wake up three days later as a vampire so I have to prepare myself mentally for the inevitable. I know he was sincere when I spoke to him and I know he and Edward would do whatever it takes to get me through this as a human but with this pregnancy, there are no guarantees. We have to be ready to accept the unexpected.

I haven't discussed this with Edward because I know he's hoping I make it through as a human. He really wants me to enjoy more of college life before my transformation. I know he would be sad to hear the last beat of my heart. He wants to keep me human for as long as possible because he wants me to have a full life so I wouldn't have any regrets. I know I will not have regrets. As long as we're together, I don't need anything else. Now we're going to have a child to share this journey with. My heart swelled with pride at the thought of having his baby - giving him this special gift. It's the least I could do after he's brought so much joy into my life. He's given me so much just by loving me. For that, I would gladly have a baby every year if it was possible.

Sometimes I wonder if it could be possible for me to be carrying twins. I'm sure the thought crossed both Edward's and Carlisle's minds but they haven't mentioned it. They probably thought it would stress me out and being pregnant and under stress is not a good mix. I know my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Most of my dreams have led to something that happens in my life and going by my dreams, since before we found out I was pregnant, there seems to be more than one baby growing inside me. There is no way to confirm this but I feel very certain that this is what those dreams are about.

Going by the last exam I had, I'm estimating that I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy. One of the sites I visited even mentioned adding two weeks to your time if you used a fertility drug. Adding these two weeks would push me to exactly twenty weeks if we're going by three times the normal rate of development. If anything happens now, the baby will be able to survive because it has everything it needs right now. The rest of the pregnancy will be for the body parts and internal organs to become bigger and more developed.

Yes, my babies are doing just fine. The longer the pregnancy progresses, the happier I get. Knowing it's about two more months till I see my little Edward Anthony Charlie Carlisle Cullen and Elizabeth Antonia Renee Esme Cullen. As I say the names, I'm more and more convinced that they are both there, nice and snug inside me, just as eager to see their parents as we are to see them.

Now that I've confronted my dreams and acknowledged that my heartbeats were numbered. I felt at peace. I'm prepared for the next step.

He found me in the nursery, took my hand and led me to bed. He didn't say anything but I could see he had something on his mind. He must have read Carlisle's mind and found out about our conversation. That night, he held me tighter than usual. We didn't talk about the baby or babies, we didn't make love, he just held me. We both comforted each other. I rubbed his arms, trying to soothe him and said a silent prayer that for both our sakes, this pregnancy turns out OK. I wouldn't do anything to cause him pain. No matter what happens during the delivery, I have to find a way to survive. I have to keep my heart beating until he could deliver the baby and change me. If the only way to make it through the birth is by becoming a vampire, I'll be ready. The most important thing is making it through so Edward and I could continue our extraordinary love story.