AN: Here's a nice, long chapter with some CS goodness to help you through the (hopefully temporary) heartbreak of 5x20 Firebird. (Not Okay Adam and Eddie!) If you've made it to this point, you know: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and I own nothing (if I did there would not be so many tearful goodbyes...). - hopefully that was fairly spoiler-free. Enjoy!

Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves

Chapter 52

After so many years, Killian knew what he liked. It took him almost no time at the Men's Clothing Emporium to purchase a few pairs of pants, several shirts, waistcoats, and one leather jacket. All in black. The clerk had rather nervously suggested that Killian try the items on, but he could see what would and would not fit, and the shirts would all have to be altered anyway. The clerk did help him, however, find the most comfortable pair of black boots. Sturdy, practical, and warm, they would be perfect for the weather in Maine year-round.

He dropped off the pants, shoes and waistcoats in his room at Granny's before heading to the tailor with his jacket and shirts.

The owner, Taylor Smith, was an older man with round glasses and a mostly friendly demeanor. "Captain Hook. To what do I owe the honor?"

Honor? I don't think a pirate visiting your establishment counts as an honor in any realm, even myself. Odd thing to say. He shook the thought from his head and got down to business. "I need a few things altered." Killian explained, setting the articles of clothing on the counter. "They fellow at the shop told me to get the jacket a bit big and that you could tailor it to fit."

Taylor studied them. "You didn't want to branch out, color wise?"

"I've spent enough years in this color to know that I like it." Killian shrugged. "How long will this take?"

"The shirts? I'm not very busy so those I'll probably finish today, if it's just the cuff. The jacket? It depends on how much work is needed." Taylor the tailor nodded. "Fastest would be sometime tomorrow, at the slowest, three or four days. Let's try these on so I can get started and give you a better estimate."

Killian tried on one shirt and his jacket. Fortunately, the only thing needed for the jacket was a little work in the shoulders and the cuff on his left arm. The shirts Taylor declared to be a simple fix.

Killian pulled out a wad of cash - something told him he would be needing the clothes sooner rather than later. "Will this help speed things along?"

It all needed to be done quickly if he was going to surprise Emma. But their first appearance would have to be some kind of occasion, I'm not just going to show up for the next monster chase in a whole new get-up. And, if he was being honest, it needed to be done quickly if he really wanted to move on with his new life in the land without magic. A life where he was not a villain any more.

"For that? I'll have them all done tomorrow." Taylor nodded.

That errand complete, Killian returned to his room at Granny's and finally let his mind wander back to earlier that day. The shopping had taken his mind off the Emma problem temporarily, but in the quiet of his room, it all came roaring back.

Elsa had given him surprising insight into Emma. Clearly the Snow Queen was getting to her, as was her role as Savior. And, for someone who never had people who counted on her or people to count on, the family she'd found in Storybrooke must be, at times, hard. It was not a real reason to push him away, and Killian didn't even think it was the main reason. Emma's instinct was to push people away to protect her heart at all costs, to keep everyone out. Still, he'd brought down a lot of those walls, or so he thought.

He needed air, a drink, and some solitude to work this out. Heading out the back way to avoid to crowded diner, Killian sat himself down at one of the tables and opened his flask. It was too cold for anyone else to be out there and the night was cool and quiet, aside from the gentle hum of activity inside Granny's.

Trying to win Emma's heart had been a little like walking the railing of a ship in rough seas: the progress was slow, sometimes even requiring a step back, and you never really felt sure of your balance from one moment to the next.

"So why bother?" A voice asked.

Killian didn't even need to look up. He knew the voice belonged to professed-not-to-be-a-hallucination-Neal. The pirate sighed and looked up from his drink. At least the apparition was wearing a coat this time.

"She's worth it, mate." Killian said simply. "Will I ever be rid of you?"

"Hopefully, this is the last time you'll need me for a while." Neal nodded, sitting down. "So, what are you going to do?"

A few flippant remarks flew into his head but Killian knew to be honest with the ghost/hallucination. "Tell her I understand. Remind her to trust me."

"You think this is about trust?"

"Aye. She's had so much to deal with, especially where relationships are concerned, I don't think she trusts me not to break her heart." Killian regarded his not-a-hallucination carefully. "You don't?"

"I think…that you shouldn't give up." Neal shrugged.

Killian looked at the other man-ghost-hallucination, deadly serious. "I'm never going to."

He took a swig and when he put the flask down, Neal was gone. The door to Granny's flying open drew his attention and he saw the subject of his musing practically running out. She looked like a woman on a mission - long strides, golden hair flying, trying not to notice him. From the look on her face, she was still annoyed with him from earlier.

Enough running for today, Emma. Killian gestured at the table. "Swan. Don't make a man drink alone."

Emma continued to walk. "I'm not in the mood for a drink or a man."

Killian stood and chased after her. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you today. All right, I know you feel like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. But at some point…" He hooked her arm, halting her escape and turning her to face him. "Even though we're quite different, you've got to trust me."

"That's what you think this is about?" Emma asked, incredulous. "That I don't trust you?"

Could Elsa and I have both been wrong? "Is that not what it's about?" Killian was confused.

"Of course I trust you."

"Then why do you keep pulling away from me?" He demanded.

Emma's confession came in a rush, pain filling her eyes. "Because everyone I've ever been with is dead."

Oh Emma, love, it is about trust, just a different kind. Killian thought. You just aren't used to anyone sticking around.

"Neal and Graham. Even Walsh. I lost everyone." Emma admitted sadly, tears forming in her eyes. "I... I can't lose you, too."

Killian's face softened. "Well, love, you don't have to worry about me." He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving."

He could see some relief wash over her and made a decision. Up until that point, Killian had let her make many of the moves because he hadn't wanted her to run away from him completely. Not this time. Killian knew now there was nothing in the way of their happiness, and was determined to convince her to let them try. So, he stepped closer to her and pulled her close, capturing her lips with a crushing kiss.

Emma's response was immediate and passionate. Gods I love this woman, Killian thought, winding a hand through her hair.

"I'm not going anywhere, Swan." Killian whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I…" Emma paused, smiling slightly. "How do you always know what to say?"

He touched her cheek gently with his hand. "I told you on the beanstalk, love, you're a bit of an open book. Not always, mind you, but it's easy to see things in someone else when you've felt them yourself."

Realization dawned on Emma. "In Neverland, you could hear the cries. My parents, Regina, they couldn't. We could."

Killian looked down for a moment to gather himself, playing with her hair. "My life has not always been…'one swashbuckling adventure after another', as you so eloquently put it."

"I know the feeling." Emma whispered.

"Perhaps, one day, we will sit and swap stories." Killian leaned in to kiss her again. This time much slower, but with just as much passion as those earlier kisses. Just as the kiss deepened, her mobile phone went off, beeping loudly. Damn bloody nuisance, those things are, Killian thought, grimacing.

"Ignore it." Emma shook her head, playing with the lapels of his coat. "Where were we?"

"Right about…here." Killian kissed her again, but then the mobile device began ringing.

Emma sighed and pulled the device out of her pocket. "It's Henry, I've got to take this."

"By all means." Killian kept his hook on her hip and grabbed a blonde curl with his right hand and began playing with it.

"Henry? What's up, kid?" Emma asked.

Killian could make out a few of the words, like "alone" and "Robin". Emma was off the phone quickly, and put it in her pocket with a sigh.

"Regina wants to be alone after this afternoon." She explained. "I have to go get Henry."

Killian nodded. "Of course." Just don't run away on me. Don't use the boy as an excuse.

"I'll…I'll call you tomorrow." Emma gave him a quick peck on the cheek before hopping in the bug a speeding off.

Killian sighed. Might as well go help Robin drown his sorrows.