Ralph wrung his hands as he stood outside of Brianna's door. She and the baby had been moved to another room, not far from where Paige and Amber were. He hadn't wanted to come, not so soon, not alone. Walter, Florence, and Happy had all independently offered to come with him, but he'd declined. As much as he didn't want to talk to her alone, he felt he had to, especially since she had texted him that Mina had wandered off to find food.
A text from Will. You've got this.
A text back. Thank you.
He had made his decision. He would offer to pay for childcare. He would buy them things – as opposed to sending money, so he knew his money was actively going toward the baby. Sylvester's loophole was a brilliant one, they had voicemails and screenshots to prove Bri's manipulation, they had documentation of the money his family had already given her, but he couldn't use it. Revealing the loophole would only open it to exploitation, make it even harder than it already was for poor women and women in bad relationships that had children to be able to afford to get out. And Ralph always prioritized the Greater Good.
He knocked, heard a faint "Ralph?" and when he answered in the affirmative was told to come in. Bri was sitting in a chair, the baby in her lap, steadied with one hand as her fingers slid over the touch screen on her phone. She had always been startlingly fast at texting one handed. "I was just gonna ask where you were."
"Sorry. They had to check my blood pressure and stuff one more time before they would discharge me."
"You're okay now?"
He nodded. "You manage to get any sleep?"
"Some. I feel so gross, though."
Ralph shrugged. "I can't relate, obviously, but my mom definitely says the same thing."
"I can't imagine anyone actually sitting at home with their spouse or whatever and going yeah, let's do this." Bri gestured. "You can hold him."
Ralph would rather not, but he didn't want to come off as totally insensitive. He took the newborn from Brianna. "Have you named him?"
"No. I wanted to let you have a say."
"I don't need a say, Bri." He adjusted his grip. The baby didn't complain. "I don't want a say. Name him whatever you'd like."
"No. I'm not denying you the opportunity to have input in the name of your own son."
"He's my son biologically. That's all. You're the one that's going to raise him, so you name him."
Bri hesitated, as if thrown off by something he had said. "What…what was going to be your sister's name if she was a boy?"
Nope. You don't get to use that name. "I'm not sure," he lied.
"I like the name Henry. I like the name Sawyer, and Alexander, and Benjamin. I like a lot of names. Do you like any of those?"
"Bri, you're not going to trick me into picking his name."
Bri cocked her head. "How does it feel to hold him?"
Ralph sighed. "He's not fussy. That's nice, if he stays that way."
"You…you don't feel anything at all extra?" There was a slight tremor in her voice, as if she had had confidence that was faltering.
If he was being totally honest with her, Ralph thought, the answer was no. The way he felt with this child in his arms was night and day to the way holding Amber made him feel. He had a love for his sister. Holding this baby felt no different than if he had just been asked to hold a stranger's baby while she dug through her purse for bus fare.
He supposed, in a way, he was holding a stranger's baby. He'd gotten with Bri when they were both too young to know what they wanted, and he wasn't sure how early into the relationship she'd begun putting on the front that would allow the entire team to be fooled by her, but he doubted he ever truly knew her. Not in the way you would expect people in a serious relationship to know each other.
He realized he hadn't answered her. So he shrugged.
"I think he looks like you," she said.
Ralph could see it – sort of. The face shape was right. The ears were right. But overall, he thought the baby was much closer in appearance to his mother.
"I, uh, I did want to talk to you about something," she said. "Mina kinda hinted at it when I was in labor. I think she thought I was gonna talk to you beforehand."
Ralph had in fact been curious about what that was about, but he sure as Hell wasn't going to tell her that. "Okay." He set the baby back into the bassinet. "What's going on?"
"These past months, going through this alone, it's been hard sometimes," Bri said. "But I knew everything was going to be okay because one thing you promised me, back in our first months together, was that members of a cyclone always have each other's back. I know I treated you and the others pretty badly. But I never stopped loving you. You know that, right?"
"You have an awfully interesting way of expressing love if that's the case."
"After everything, I wouldn't be standing here wanting to patch things up unless I was very naïve or very self – intuitive," she pointed out. "I like to believe it's the latter."
Patch things up. "You're…you're asking me if we can patch things up? As in…if we can get back together?"
Bri hesitated, as if surprised at his apparent confusion. "Well…of course. I mean…I – I just had our baby, and I'm apologizing, and..."
"Your baby. You just had your baby. I told you from the start I wanted nothing to do with that."
Her eyes widened slightly. "Ralph…" She paused. "I know…I really do know how much pain I caused you all. But I was being an idiot. Your dad was an idiot. What if your mother hadn't wanted to get back together with him?"
"The reason they broke up and the reason we did is apples and oranges," Ralph said. "You were obsessed with checking my phone, you guilted me into all sorts of crap, you made me feel bad for you whenever we fought and I always caved because I thought that's what good men did. I gave you my heart and my backbone and didn't realize I was allowed to take them back. Then even beyond us - you deliberately deceived everyone in my life and used Scorpion as your personal piggy bank. I hope you're not forgetting that Florence literally almost died trying to claw us out of it. You're not my dad. Because you did things maliciously, and you didn't even care."
"You're right. I didn't. But I do now. What about second chances? What about learning a lesson?"
"If you've really changed," Ralph began, doubting it, "then I'm proud of you, but – "
"Proud of me? Come on, Ralph. Don't be condescending."
"But," he continued pointedly, "that doesn't entitle you to a relationship with me. I didn't realize this when we were together, but I actually get a say in things, too."
"Of course you do."
"And I'm saying no."
"No?" Bri's voice was small. "You mean like…like forever?"
Ralph nodded. "This ship has sailed." He hesitated briefly. "I'll help you with him. I'll give you some money if that's what I need to do, but only because he deserves clean diapers and a car seat and vaccinations and all that. But I don't want to see you. I don't want to be involved that way. I've told you that from the start, and just because we conceived a baby doesn't mean I should be expected to be in a relationship with you. We didn't work, Bri. We didn't work before and we wouldn't work now. And that's one thing you can't take me to court for. No one can rule that I have to date you again."
The baby started to fuss. Bri put her hands up, covering her breasts and turning slightly pink in the cheeks. The second day was early for first time moms, but Ralph supposed that after the long labor, perhaps her milk coming in early was apropos, a tiny victory, because the sooner this happened, the sooner she wouldn't ache anymore. "Excuse me," she said, turning away.
Ralph wondered if he should tell her that the leaking in response to stimuli relating to her newborn was normal, or if calling attention to it would just embarrass her more. He decided against it. "Shouldn't you…he's crying…" He wasn't sure if the baby was hungry, tired, or just wanted to be held. But Brianna wasn't making a move to figure it out.
"He'll live," she said shortly, still facing away from Ralph. The baby continued to fuss, his noises turning to full on cries. For Pete's sake, he thought, reaching in and taking him back out. Bringing the child to his chest, he rocked and bounced carefully, hoping to sooth him into silence.
Bri looked at him over her shoulder. "Maybe I didn't have a c – section," she said, "but I still have all these stupid marks."
Ralph wanted to tell her that stretch marks weren't stupid, and that his mother was proud of hers. But again, he wasn't confident enough to speak.
"Damn stretch marks, varicose veins, all this gross stuff that will never go away," she continued. "And I don't even have you." Her voice cracked. Ralph looked over in alarm. He hadn't expected that. Bri put a hand up to her mouth. "I'm sorry. I just really thought…"
"You still have him."
Bri looked at the baby with a complete lack of interest. "I don't want him."
Ralph had always been hoping his suspicions about this had been wrong. "What?"
"I don't want him. Not if you aren't going to be around. He's only given me pain and heartache. Every time I look at him I'm just going to see you, and remember how you don't want me and how you don't care." She folded her arms, turning back to face him. "I shouldn't have even gone through with the pregnancy. I had to take time off of work. My body will never be the same. I lost friends and family. And now I'm sore and I'm pretty sure I'm ruined down there and I have years of being sleep deprived and shit and vomited on to look forward to."
Ralph wanted to remind her that she'd had the choice.
"I wouldn't have done it at all if I knew there was…no…" she paused, her voice cracking again. "No chance for us."
"You brought a kid into the world," Ralph said. "You made that call. On your own. I didn't push you one way or the other. And you did that all for a chance that I would magically fall back in love with you? I told you from the start we were done for good – even before we found out about him. Did you think of him at all in all this? Of what kind of world he's a part of? He's going to grow up knowing his mother doesn't want him, that he only exists because of her pipe dream of getting back with someone she used and abused. I'm the one who gets accused of not knowing the consequences of my actions, but you didn't even have the foresight to think hey, maybe it's not fair to the baby for me to use it as a pawn."
"Oh. So now you care about the baby."
"Of course I do," he snapped. "I would care about anyone being used like that. And hey, I can actually relate to him in that sense."
"I said I was sorry!"
"And I said," Ralph reminded her firmly, "that I appreciate your apology, but that doesn't make me want to be with you again." He wanted to tell her that if she had in fact changed, she would find someone someday. She would be happy. But he also knew that that could come off as extremely condescending., so he held it back.
He also doubted that she'd changed. This felt like real emotion, but he'd thought that before. So many times before. "It is not fair to this baby that you brought him into the world for a reason like that. He doesn't deserve to be a bargaining chip." And now he's either going to grow up in foster care or with a mother who never wanted him. What a shitty hand he's been dealt.
"I just…I always thought you'd want me again." Bri crumpled onto the bed and put her face in her hands. She was crying. Ralph knew, given the context, he was the wrong person to try and comfort her.
"Wait here, Bri." He put the little boy back in his bassinet and went to find Mina. He hoped he could find her quickly.
He really, really wanted his mom. And even more so now than before, he knew how lucky he was that he had someone like her.
Just a quick reminder since I'm getting some reviews and PMs that don't seem to have recalled this - this pregnancy is not the sole issue in Ralph and Bri's relationship. It was bad before she got pregnant. He broke up with her before she knew she was pregnant, because the relationship was bad. None of the characters are telling Ralph "boy I'm glad you got someone pregnant and then ditched her" because they were already broken up several weeks when this fic started, on the day he found out. When they say they're proud of him, they're saying he was in an unhealthy relationship and he had the strength to leave, and they're proud of him for it.
And that - that should not be controversial.
