Wow, it's another day and I'm still breathing! Hey, it's me, Freddy, and it's time for another riveting (using made-up-frick-what-wad words like "riveting", and "apoplectic", and "insightful", what the what?) installment of Paper Mario: the Legend of the Clouds.

And the crowd goes wild.

Moo.

Anyway, I don't own Mario or any of that stuff, so let's get started.

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Mario had quite forgotten just how long it took the plane to get from Paratonis to Ferris Sands. When he looked at the clock again, he discovered it was eight o' clock. Snow was the only one of his partners still awake. One seat behind Koopetto, who was directly across the aisle from Mario, she was busy tapping the arms of her chairs. He couldn't help wondering what she was tapping to.

Suddenly he itched to get off the plane so the gang could find Fluzz and leave back to Sadiel. There they would (hopefully, as essentially the entire time the crew had been searching for their former friends, they had been betting on luck that they were actually there) find Wishes again, and afterwards they could go back to Sadiel's Mill and find Kat and Violon.

Thinking about the girls again made him sick and angry. They were like itches you couldn't get rid of. They wouldn't keep fighting in whatever pathetic, persistent way that they could if it killed them.

But he'd have his second chance at them soon. As soon as he thought of this, however, he remembered one important factor that could well count towards his ability to defeat the girls this time: he was forty-three now. That would not bode well with his fighting. He had beaten Red Shines without breaking a sweat, but Shines was a bug compared to Kat and Violon.

You're being ridiculous, he told himself. Of course you can beat them. They're nothing against you.

He decided he was right and stopped thinking about the girls. What he really needed, he figured, was some sleep. Looking back at Snow, he discovered she was dropping off as well.

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When he woke up, Mario blinked the sleep out of his eyes. The clock read 8:40. Looking out the window, however, he could see the ground very near below them. He estimated it only being around 800 feet between the plane and the ground.

He also noticed that it looked nothing like a desert. In fact, it looked mostly pale blue.

"Good morning, passengers," called a voice over the intercom. Mario recognized it immediately. It was Jovi, the flight attendant the gang had heard and seen the last time Mario had been on Ferris Airlines. "We will be landing shortly. I do hope you enjoyed your flying experience on our new and improved Jolt model airplane, designed to fly twice as quickly as normal. We will be landing soon at our first stop, Sorrel City. Please be patient until we land."

Mario definitely hadn't remembered there being a pit stop during the flight to Ferris sands. Maybe it had been recently added. Presently, the plane hit the ground with a screeching stop. Looking out the window, he could see short red skid marks on the ground.

"Thank you for your patience, passengers," Jovi said over the intercom. Steadying himself, Mario looked up and saw the gray Bob-bomb walk in from the engineer's room. "All those who would like to take a trip to Sorrel City, please leave the plane at this time. We will require a half-hour layover while we switch planes."

Mario sighed; two hours would be a long time. But the party could make the make the most of it by stocking up on items and resting for a while. Besides, this Sorrel City place sounded interesting.

As the party exited the plane into the airport, Mario was surprised at what he saw. Most of the people in the airport were wearing the same clothing-gray rags for shirt and pants, and gray sneakers. They also all looked particularly put-upon. Mario blinked a few times, but kept walking through the airport. He was uncomfortably aware of many pairs of eyes staring at him from all directions. He turned his head and discovered his partners were having the same problem. He began to walk faster, followed closely be his friends.

As soon as the gang left the airport, Mario was shocked at what he saw. It hadn't been blue he had been seeing-it was gray. Everything in Sorrel City was gray. "What is with this place?" he thought aloud.

Snow bit her lip. "Ask somebody. They'll tell you."

Mario narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you know why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Okay, yes," Snow sighed. "This place-oh no. Get down!"

She had suddenly looked up, and her face assumed an expression of horror. Mario turned to see something he didn't see often. It was a Duplighost. He had fought one of these before, and now he had a bit of an adversity to them. He furrowed his brows as the ghost spotted the gang and rushed over. Mario was amused to see that this ghost's sheet was rainbow-colored. "I said get down!" Snow whispered loudly, though she was the only one who had followed her own advice.

"Hello there!" the Duplighost greeted them in a loud, jovial voice. "I am the Dental Assistant!"

Snow groaned. "Don't say anything," she warned the others.

"I am here to give you a fantastic deal!" the Dental Assistant continued, pulling out some dentist's tools. "I will clean all of your smiles for only sixty coins! Can you get much better than that? I mean, come on."

"Why can't I say anything?" Mario whispered to Snow.

"Because I don't think you want to tick off the person who wants to put sharp metal objects in your mouth," Snow answered quietly. "Just let him clean our teeth, pay the money, and we can leave."

Mario frowned. "Okay, I'll take your deal, but could you-"

"There you are, Hane!" called another voice from a few yards away. Mario blinked a few times and looked towards the direction the voice had come from to see yet another stranger. It was a Boo with an odd appearance. Unlike most Boos, this one was cream-colored and his very large eyes. He sported a yellow fedora with a pink band around the bottom of the crown. There was also a small shamrock strapped to the hat by the band. He floated slowly toward the Dental Assistant.

"Hane, were you trying to clean someone's teeth again?" he asked accusingly.

"Well, it's fun!" "Hane" replied defensively.

"I'm terribly sorry for Hane's behavior," the Boo apologized to the gang. "My name is Jazz. It's nice to meet you."

Mario reached out his hand, and then remembered he was trying to shake hands with a ghost. "My name is Mario," he explained awkwardly. "It's quite a pleasure to-"

"I assume you are also aristocrats?" Jazz asked.

"Well, not exactly," Mario answered. "Two of us, maybe, but-"

"Oh!" Jazz laughed. "You must not be from here. Here, we always assume anyone who doesn't wear gray is an aristocrat."

"That's one thing I wanted to say," Mario told him. "Why is it that-"

"Oh, I should explain that to you, shouldn't I?" Jazz interrupted. "You'd be confused if I didn't, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would," Mario answered. "But I've only got thirty minutes, so if-"

"Oh, sure, I won't be that long," Jazz cut him off. "Let me explain the whole thing. Sorrel is an empire. We have a big ruler. It's kind of sad, because he's really rude and assertive. And one of his rules is that anyone who can't afford pay a certain fine every month to the government has to give up all of their luxuries, which includes good clothing."

"That sounds horrible!" Goomessa cried. "That ruler guy…what's his-"

"His name is Dolas," Jazz interrupted. "He has a second-in-command person, too. Her name is Trudy."

"Dolas? Trudy? Really?" Mario chuckled. "Huh, that's kind of-"

"This is not something we laugh about," Jazz scolded him. "This is an oppressive empire we're talking about."

"You're an aristocrat, you don't get an opinion," Snow snapped. "And I'm sure-"

"Hey, you're an aristocrat too," Jazz reminded her.

"And stop it with the incessant interrupting!" Koopetto shouted.

Jazz stared at him, confusion and shock on his face. "Well, I guess Hane and I should get going," he told them quietly, sounding thoroughly embarrassed. "We have a meeting to go to."

"No we-"

"Shut up, Hane," Jazz cut him off, whacking the ghost with his hat.

"Wait, Jazz," Mario requested, noting that since the gang wouldn't be able to gather supplies with such little time anyway, he might as well thank their "guide". "Thanks for telling us about this place. It's actually very interesting."

"Well, thank you," Jazz said.

"By the way…" Mario folded his arms. "How do you two know each other anyway?"

"He actually used to be my dentist," Jazz explained, "but now he doesn't do dental work anymore. We're just buds now."

"Why'd he stop being a dentist?"

"He was fired," Jazz told him. "He could never actually get his work done right."

Mario put his hand to his mouth that had almost been attacked by the Duplighost. He liked his teeth.

And he didn't take his hand off his mouth until the party was safely back on the plane.

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When Mario woke up again, it wasn't of his own accord. Once again, the plane suddenly came to a very abrupt (and very loud) halt. Mario flew out of his seat and crashed into the one in front of him. Once he was quite sure which direction was up, he stood and reoriented himself.

"We're sorry about any injury that may have been caused by our landing," Jovi called again over the intercom. "The Jolt model airplane is very fast, but this ensures a quickened landing. Please forgive us.

"We have now reached Ferris Sands, however, so those passengers who wish to exit to the Sands, please leave the plane now. Those bound for Ievan Heights, please stay on the plane. Have a nice day."

Mario found it refreshing not to have to bite back a "don't tell me what to do" this time.

Outside the plane, the gang stretched and yawned, with the exception of Snow, who was breathing heavily and hugging herself. Mario looked confusedly at her. "I don't think I have ever been so happy to be somewhere I didn't want to be in my whole life," she sputtered.

"Snow, Ferris Airlines is not that bad," Mario insisted.

"Yes, it is," Snow argued with a flare in her eyes. "I hate flying and I get claustrophobic…and I'm just not very fond of airplanes."

"Why not?"

"Because they fly and make me claustrophobic," Snow answered. "Duh."

The party began to advance into the desert, accompanied by a few of the other passengers, but before they could get a few steps, they were interrupted by another all-too-familiar voice exclaiming, "Wait up, folks! You don't want to miss Jeffy's dream tour!"

Mario turned towards the direction of the voice and almost shrieked. Mario had noticed that the fifteen years he had been absent had been good for some people and places, and very rough for others. To say that the years had thrown Geoffrey into a garbage dumb a few times, spit on his shoes, and called him ugly was an understatement. The Koopa now wore broken pilot goggles, an official-looking but worn "explorer's" suit, and a blue feathered sun hat. Geoffrey himself was very heavily wrinkled, and for some reason Mario could see that he was blinking a lot. His fingers also twitched, although Mario wasn't sure if he was aware of it.

Goomessa, Koopetto, and Snow backed away several steps. Mario sighed and turned to approach Geoffrey, along with his reluctant partners and the other passengers. "My name is Geoffrey Carasfield," he explained, pivoting around on his heel and beginning to walk down a small dirt path separate from the sand around them. He walked with an odd stiff bounce that made him look almost like he had a limp on both legs. As the group advanced, he spoke to them, though it proved very irritating to listen to as his bouncy gait made for a bouncy voice.

It seemed to take forever to get to Tique for the second time, as the party had to listen to Geoffrey drone on and on about Tique (the Koopa would brutally slap in the face anyone who he caught covering their ears). It was also much colder this time, which one might think would have been nice in a desert, but it actually caused the temperature to drop to around ten degrees.

When the tour group finally reached Tique, Mario was surprised at what they saw. The town quite resembled The Gardens of Babylon. Everything was either blue, green, or gold. Besides the sand, there were many trees (though most of them were aspens and birches with golden-painted trunks), an irrigation stream, and aside from the many houses dotting the place, a very large hotel. Mario smiled as he saw the name at the base: The Crypt de Fleur.

"Okay!" Geoffrey exclaimed excitedly. "I'm going to give everyone until 11:30 before we leave for the ruins. I'm sure you can't wait…Now run along now."

As he was finishing his order and the group was beginning to disperse, Mario saw someone coming up behind him. He immediately recognized the green Fuzzy as his former partner, but he was wearing a very formal tuxedo this time. "Good morning, Jeffy," he acknowledged the tour guide. "A little early today, I see. Very nice, very nice."

"Don't mention it, Fluzz," Geoffrey assured him. "I'm sure some of my group will be checking in to your hotel."

"Wait, his hotel?" Mario repeated.

"Yes, in fact, yes," Fluzz answered. "I own the Crypt de Fleur. But I thought everyone knew that."

Mario was surprised again at just how much things could change. "Fluzz, we have to ask you something," he explained.

"Well, if you do, then you'll have to follow me to the hotel, yes you will," Fluzz told him. "Please, come with me."

Mario shrugged and followed Fluzz, accompanied by his partners, the short distance to the hotel. As they approached, Mario discovered that a soundtrack was blasting a song to the entirety of Tique.

"Why on Earth are you playing The Entertainer in this place?" Mario asked.

"Because ragtime jazz music promotes a calm and soothing air," Fluzz told him arrogantly. "Plus, I like the song, yes I do."

Mario blinked a few times before the gang finally entered the hotel. Fluzz turned on the party. "So what do you need to ask me?"

"Well, Fluzz it's just something we want you to do…" Mario explained awkwardly. "We need you to leave Tique with us."

"Ha! Preposterous," Fluzz laughed. "If I must elucidate this to you again, I own a very auspicious auberge, very successful. I don't think I'll be relinquishing my manager's spot."

Everybody stared at him. "Okay, I counted four words I couldn't understand," Goomessa whispered.

"I counted five," Snow whispered back.

"Please, Fluzz, this is important," Mario insisted. "What if…Let me tell you why this is so important."

Fluzz sighed. "Fine, just be quick about it," he ordered.

And so for what seemed like the hundredth time but was really only the ninth, Mario told Fluzz the entire story of the Cloud Fragments and everything that had happened to the party. By the time he had finished, Mario was sure Fluzz was interested because his expression had brightened from exhausting to dull.

"Well, that is an interesting story," he mused. "I suppose I could have my assistant Kallen take over while I'm gone. So…let's be off, shall we? Or must we stay here longer?"

"Aren't you going to tell Kallen you need her to take over?" Mario asked confusedly.

"And why would I do that?"

Well, because-oh, forget it," Mario cut himself off. "Let's just-oh, wait."

"What's wrong?" Snow asked.

"Remember, the plane only leaves at seven in the morning," Mario told them. "So that means we'll have to wait here until then. Does anyone know what time it is?"

"Twelve noon," Snow replied. "But how are we going to spend the next…nineteen hours here? It's cool-looking and all, but there's not much to do."

"We can all rest at the Crypt," Fluzz suggested. "You all look rather tired."

"Sure, that sounds nice," Mario agreed. "Let's go, guys."

And so the party checked into the hotel and went to rest in their room. We have a long, ugly, insane-little-girl filled day ahead of us, Mario thought.

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Okay, that's all, guys! Thanks for reading!

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See ya!