KissMeDeadlyT-T: Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes!

I've said this before, but I'm really sorry my updates aren't as frequent as usual. Yeah yeah, I'm feeling like shit lately and school's hard, that whole pile of shit. I just barely have the energy to get out of bed, let alone the creativity to write. That's why this drabble is just a pointless domestic thing. It's cute and it's easy and I'm tired but I want to update.

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Title: Domesticated

Rating: T for language, because Ed

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Roy had left him specific instructions to not try and do any laundry, but damn it all, Ed was going to try.

Yeah, yeah, maybe he'd given it a shot before and he'd ended up flooding Roy's laundry room with bubbles and water, but that was two weeks ago and he was better educated now than he was before. And by better educated, he really meant that he'd spied and watched from the doorway as Roy added detergent and sometimes bleach and some other random crap to the washer, but hey. Whatever works. He learned best by watching, and even though he wasn't exactly seeing everything Roy was doing, he got the gist.

And anyway, it wasn't like it was his fault he'd never had the opportunity to learn how to do laundry. His life hadn't exactly been a smooth ride. He'd always fixed his clothes with alchemy, so there was never much of a reason to learn how to do laundry. He and Al had been on the road so long that it had never occurred to him that someday, he might settle down with someone (and how friggin' weird was it that that 'someone' ended up being his former asshole superior) and actually do housework… without alchemy, since he couldn't exactly perform it anymore. It sucked, but he could no longer escape it. He had to do his own laundry.

"Aaalright," he muttered to himself, staring hard at all the buttons and dials and useless things on the shiny white washer. At least he was pretty sure it was the washer. The dryer looked, like, exactly the same, but it had different buttons and air temperatures so he figured it had to be the dryer; it wasn't gonna wash his clothes unless it blew them the cleanliness or something.

He thought back to what Roy had done all those times he'd watched. Well, it was only like, twice, but whatever. Twice was enough, he thought. "Gotta add the… detergent, right? Right." He picked up the giant bottle and looked at the instructions on the side. "Large load… uhh… fucking hell, I need glasses." He squinted hard. "Fill up the lid half-way and pour it into the detergent slot." He did as the instructions said, trying his damnest to make it exactly half the lid so he didn't mess up. After pouring it in, he added a random amount of the stuff labelled fabric softener because it smelt like Roy and he liked Roy's scent, and then shut the washer and turned his attention to the buttons and settings.

"What the fuck does delicate wash even mean?" he grumbled to himself. "You gonna fucking caress my clothes and whisper sweet nothings to them?" He was fully aware that talking to inanimate objects was a sign of insanity, but he figured he was allowed to be a little messed up after all the shit he'd been through. And if being a little insane meant talking to the washer, then so be it. "Heavy duty… normal… timed… ughh, this should not be this complicated."

When Roy was doing the laundry, he had the whole thing set up and running in less than thirty seconds. Ed, on the other hand, was still standing there stupidly ten minutes later trying to decide which setting he was supposed to use. He eventually grew frustrated and left it on the normal cycle, because that's what it had been set on when he came in. Finally, he pressed start, and a pleased grin lit up his face when the washer started humming.

"Totally got this," he said to himself, doing a mental raspberry and middle finger to his boyfriend for doubting him. He left the laundry room feeling satisfied and headed to the kitchen. He was in such a good mood that he'd cook Roy dinner, too – he wasn't the best at it, but he'd been practicing and he'd even received a few compliments and surprised looks from his ever-stoic lover. Yeah, it made his head a little bigger than it already was, but hell, he didn't care. He liked the ego boost, and he liked to please his lover, damn it.

He opened and closed cupboards for a little while as he tried to decide what to cook. He finally decided on pasta (because it was easy, and he knew Roy had a terrible weak spot for spicy spaghetti) and fished through the lazy-Susan for the dry noodles he'd seen a couple minutes ago. He assembled all the necessary ingredients on the counter – tomato paste, oregano, bay leaves, hot peppers, meat sauce and the whole-wheat noodles that tasted much better than any white pasta – and set some water to boil.

While he was waiting, he went to check on the laundry. He stood there for a few moments, grinning widely and inanely proud for teaching himself how to do it and not messing it up this time. With a smug air surrounding him, he left the laundry room and shut the door behind him.

He was just cracking the pasta over the boiling water when he heard the familiar sound of Roy's car pulling up in front of his – actually, their house, now. He dropped the noodles into the water and wiped his hands on his pants – and again felt stupidly giddy because they were really Roy's and damn it, moving in had really made him a girly pile of sap and happies – and checked the bay window to be sure. It was dark out already, as falls in Central tended to be late mornings and early nights, but he could see the familiar shape of an exhausted General Roy Mustang exiting the driver door under the dim glow from the streetlights. Grinning again, he hurried back to the stove – he couldn't wait to see the look of shock on Roy's face. It wasn't often Ed got all domesticated and shit like this. In fact, he was sure it was the first time since he'd officially moved in a few days ago.

He heard the front door swing shut and then the slow, drained sound of Roy's footsteps padding into the living room. With a wide grin, he looked over his shoulder to see his lover staring at him from the other side of the counter, his head cocked slightly to the side, staring at him with open suspicion. Ed felt a ridiculous flutter, and felt the urge to laugh for some stupid reason – nothing was funny, he was just happy. It was… nice, officially living here. Now, he wasn't hanging out at Roy's house – he was living in their house, and that was special, in a really cheesy, girly kinda way.

"Are you cooking?" Roy asked incredulously in way of greeting.

"Good evening to you too, asshole," Ed replied, playfully sticking out his tongue. "And yes, I am. Spicy spaghetti better be good 'cause it's take it or leave it."

Roy still looked surprised, but a slight smile had his lips quirking up. "Wow," he said, chuckling as he set some paperwork onto the counter and sank into one of the stools facing Ed. "You're taking this moving in this seriously."

"Of course I am." And since he was in such a peachy, uncharacteristically loving mood, he set the fork he was using to stir on the counter and skipped over to launch himself into Roy's arms. He could tell how surprised the other man was, but if the soft smile on his lips and the slight sparkle in his eyes meant anything, he liked it. Ed made a mental note to try and be more open with his affections in the future if it meant seeing this kind of smile on his lover's face. With a huge grin, he pulled Roy in for a quick kiss, wiggled his eyebrows ridiculously, and quipped, "We're official now."

Roy's lips twitched, and Ed supposed he was trying not to grin too. "We could always make it more official," he murmured, taking Ed's left hand in his and winding their fingers together, paying special attention to the fourth one in a way that made Ed's breath hitch and his heart pound. He managed a watery grin and squeezed the fingers between his own.

"Slow down there, partner," he whispered in a voice as teasing as he could as he brushed their lips together again, "you might make me forget about dinner and take you straight to bed."

Roy finally gave in to the grin. He laughed, a wonderful sound that made Ed's heart feel like it could fly. "I should have made you move in a long time ago if I knew you'd act like this." His arms slid around Ed's waist and pulled him closer for another kiss – sitting on the stool, he was shorter than Ed, and the angle made Ed's cheeks warm pleasantly. "Keep this up," Roy murmured into the kiss, "and I might have to reward you."

Ed's eyes glittered with barely-repressed mirth. First, he'd taught himself to do laundry, and now Roy was basically promising what sounded like some wonderful welcome home sex, and yeah, Ed liked the sound of that. "We'll see," was all he said in return, smiling as he skipped out of Roy's arms and back to the stove. "Go change," he said, shooting a smirk. "There's no way you're comfortable in your uniform, whether you live in it or not." What he really meant was Go do the thing where you start to change but get lazy and decide to walk around half-naked instead.

Roy sighed and got to his feet. "I actually have some laundry to do," he said. "I'll throw yours in too, if you want."

Ed hesitated. "Uh, actually…" He stood there for a moment, stirring the noodles, knowing he'd been specifically asked – begged – not to touch the machine. Eventually, he decided it didn't matter, because Roy should be damned proud that he'd taught himself to do it. "I put the laundry in about a half-hour ago."

A look of absolute terror came over Roy's face and he shot to his feet. "Ed! I told you not to—"

"Oh shut up, you jerk!" Ed was beside him in an instant, grabbing his sleeve to keep his boyfriend from booking it to the laundry room. "I taught myself how to do it, and I didn't put four cups of detergent in this time because I thought it'd make my clothes cleaner." He cringed at the memory of his own stupidity.

Roy eyed him warily. "How many?"

"Half."

"Huh."

"I watched you do it and I figured it out." Ed shrugged nonchalantly even though he was still pretty pleased with himself. Roy turned to him and raised an eyebrow, looking impressed.

"Wow," he said, surprised for the second time that night. "I really should have had you move in sooner. You make a better housewife than I could have ever expected."

Ed somehow wasn't as angry as he should have been. He squinted his eyes. "House-husband," he corrected. "Let's please remember I am a male."

"How could I forget?" Roy replied smoothly, smirking as he trailed his gaze up then down Ed's body. His smirk broadened to a grin when he saw the flush on Ed's cheeks. Laughing, he planted another kiss on his mouth, lingering long enough to feel the warmth radiate from Ed's face onto his. "Don't ever change, Ed," he sighed, and Ed swore his heart was going to melt and ooze right out of his chest cavity at how fucking content Roy sounded.

"Tch," Ed snorted softly, momentarily forgetting the pasta and pulling Roy down by the collar for another kiss. "Not plannin' on it."

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KissMeDeadlyT-T: DOMESTIC ROY/ED SAY IT WITH ME NOW DOMESTIC ROY/ED FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay I have the flu and I'm really nauseous so I took Gravol and near the end it started fucking me up (Gravol works on me, but it comes with the unfortunate side-effect of making me stoned out of my mind) so I really hope I didn't miss any typos while skimming and if there are any sentences that make no sense tell me I will not be offended because I wrote and edited the last part while I was very tired and sick and high off of Gravol so yyeahhh