Dreams of blue eyes and warm kisses filled Rose's dreams, drowning her in a rush of passion and desire. A whispered I love you and a warm caress and the loud cry of a baby somewhere in the distance growing louder and louder...

Rose sat up in bed, the dream now fading as the sound of newborn's cried filled her senses. She stared at the crib, her heart pounding and sinking at the same time, realizing that she was the only one in the room. The only one who could take care of this child. The only one that felt that such a task was impossible!

Why was she crying? What was she supposed to do to stop it? Could she stop it? She couldn't even remember how she had taken care of the twins, what was wrong with her? As the baby continued to cry, hot tears poured from Rose's eyes. She felt so helpless and an absolute failure! What kind of mother forgot how to take care of a baby?! Carl was right about her. She was useless and now Jack will see that for himself.

"Is that Claire?" Jack frowned, coming into the room. He had been outside with Jake, helping him draw one of the budding roses in the garden when he heard the crying. At first he had assumed Rose would take care of it because his mother had taken the twins to visit Alice, Micheal and their son. But the crying hadn't stopped. So concerned, he rushed up to be met with a wailing Claire and a sobbing Rose.

First thing was first, he went and lifted his daughter out of the bed and winced, realizing that her diaper needed to be changed. Remembering changing the twins, he made quick work of that task. Happy to be clean and dry at last, Claire's sobs stopped and she looked up at her father with bright happy eyes.

"There you go. All you needed was a good changing," Jack lifted the baby up into his arms and smiled down at her. She was truly a beautiful baby. It made all the pain and heartache he went through worth it. It made him feel that all the goodness hadn't been stripped from him after all. He glanced over at Rose and his heart ached to see her in tears. He had to wonder though, what had happened? Why did it take her so long to check on Claire and why was she crying.

Keeping the baby in his arms, he went and sat down next to his sobbing wife. "What's wrong? Why didn't you see about Claire?" He was careful to keep his voice simply curious, not wanting to sound harsh and accusing. Ever since Claire's birth, something had been off about Rose. She didn't seem happy at all about the birth and when he watched her with the baby...it looked as if he was watching Ruth with one of the twins when they had been born. Like they were something cute but something that she rather not have to deal with, which was not like Rose at all. She loved children so much, even when they weren't her own.

Rose sobbed, not knowing how to explain herself. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She felt so useless and overwhelmed! She didn't even feel like Claire was hers, which was impossible since she had carried her for nine months. She had been looking forward to her for nine months! She should be on cloud 9 right now, but she wasn't. She dreaded the times when Claire needed her. She feared the times when Jack and Irene weren't around and Claire's care fell to her. The bond that she felt with her other children, even Jake...she didn't feel with Claire. She loved her, but that tie that should always there...it felt as if it had snapped somewhere during the birth and it was killing her.

"Rose...talk to me," Jack stared at his wife, growing more worried as her sobs became worse.

She looked at Jack, who had so much love and kindness inside of him. What was he going to think of her? He'll think that she was crazy. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry. Just talk to me. Don't think that I haven't noticed that you haven't been yourself since Claire's birth. I have...and I've been patient, not wanting to push. But Rose, this isn't healthy. You barely hold her. You act like feeding her is a chore and just now...you looked as if you were at a loss on what to do. You've never acted like this before...something is wrong. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't talk to me."

"Do you think I want to be like this?"

"See, that's just it. I know you. I know that you don't. I know that there's something wrong here."

Rose looked down at her hands, allowing her tears to just fall. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Try. Don't you love Claire?"

Rose looked up at Jack, all of her sadness in her eyes. "I do. I swear I do...she's my baby...it's just that...I feel so...disconnected from her. Like...the ties that bind us broke somehow. It's like she's someone else baby, not mine. Which is ridiculous, I know. I pushed her out, she looks like the both of us and I don't know why I feel this way and it scares me! Then just now...I felt completely overwhelmed! It was like...I had forgotten completely how to be a mother!"

"Rose..."

"I don't know what to do Jack...I don't even know if this can be fixed...what if it can't?"

"I'm pretty sure that it can be. With love and patience, we can fix it, Rose. Look...maybe it's all too much, too fast for you right now. It has been years since you had to care for a small baby. We'll take it one step at a time. I'm sure that that the bond will come. Soon, it'll feel natural again."

"I don't know Jack. I remember with the twins...it just came to me and I had never dealt with babies before that. You would think that it'd be that way now...not later..."

"It's still been a while. And there's all kind of reasons why you feel this way now. The point is, we'll work through it. I'll be by your side as we do. You helped me through my war mess, and now I'll help you."

"Help? I wasn't any help to you. I seemed to have made things worse," Rose sniffed, remembering how hurt she was when it was obvious that it was going to take more than her love to help Jack through his demons.

"Yes you were. You may not have seen it...or felt like it was help...but you did. More than you know. If I didn't have you...I would never have found the strength to work through any of it. I would have kept on hiding from it. But I knew that at the end of the tunnel, you and our family were waiting...I felt your love, even at my darkest moment. You were my shining light, Rose...and I'm going to be the same for you. I swear it."

Rose wiped away her tears, touched by his words. "You were always my shining light. That had never stopped."

Jack smiled and kissed her cheek. He glanced down at Claire, who was now peacefully sleeping. "Would you like to hold her? She's asleep, freshly changed, and not hungry."

Rose shrugged, not at all sure if it was a good idea. "Do you trust me with her?"

"Of course. You are her mother. She loves you."

Rose sniffed and nodded her head. She looked down at the baby as Jack gently slid her into her arms.

"There you go. See, she's settling down all comfy. She trusts you. You kept her safe and loved for nine long months, Rose. You can do it even better now that she's in the world."

Rose frowned, still not feeling a connection. "I still feel like she's not mine, Jack. I feel like someone else should be her mother..."

"But you are her mother Rose..."

"Here...take her...I...I can't do this...," She quickly gave Claire back to Jack and stood up from the bed.

"Rose..."

"I...I have to go...I need some air..."

"Do you want me to come?"

"No. It's best if I'm by myself...I...I'm sorry..."

"Rose.."

Before Jack could say anything else, she ran out of the room, needing to get away from the situation. Needing to be alone and really think about what to do. She did know one thing...if she didn't get the connection back to Claire, she'll have to do something...because she will not be the kind of mother her own had been. She will not expose any of her children to a cold as ice mother who didn't know how to love them...even if that meant that she couldn't be with them anymore.

...

Irene returned to find Jack at the kitchen table, feeding baby Claire a bottle. They had prepared formula for Claire for the times when Rose was not available to breastfeed. Irene frowned at the sight, wondering where her daughter in law was.

"Where's Rose?" She asked, taking out some ingredients to make for dinner.

Jack shrugged, the worry clear on his face. "I don't know. She ran out of here and haven't been back since. She said she needed time to be alone..."

"Is everything okay?"

Jack shook his head as he looked down at his daughter, her blue eyes studying his face as her tiny fist clenched around his finger. "No. It's not. Ever since Claire arrived...Rose hasn't been herself. Today, Claire was crying to be changed, and Rose was just sitting there crying. I talked to her and she admitted that she didn't feel connected to Claire...she feels like Claire's not even hers. She ran away when I told her we'd work through it..."

"I am sure she'll return," Irene frowned, her mind working over the problem. She remembered back when she was young...birthing Jack and Janie...how she had felt so disconnected from her babies at first. Jack and Janie had been the most beautiful babies in town at the time and everyone loved them...but she had felt horrid, because it took the longest time for that bond to kick in and for her to feel the same love that she had felt for her oldest son. The doctor had diagnosed it as depression and had prescribed Valium at the time. All it did was make her sleep. But with a lot of patience and love and perseverance from Albert and Richie and her own parents, the bond finally kicked in and her twins never knew about her struggles.

Maybe it was time to share that struggle with her youngest son in order to help the woman he loved.

"You know...what Rose is going through...I went through the same thing with you and Janie when you were born. I know you both don't know this, it wasn't something I wanted to share...but when you both came into the world...your father was amazing...and I don't know how I would have survived without him. But I felt the same disconnect Rose feels now. The doctor calls it depression, but it took love and patience and perseverance to get through it and to the point where I felt that bond with my babies. It's something that us women sometimes go through after giving birth."

Jack frowned. He had no idea that it had been so hard for his mother to connect with him and Janie. She had always been so loving and warm. Always ready with a warm hug and kiss. He remembered being scared of the dark along with his sister and how his mother had come and stayed the night with them to calm them down and other instances where she had showered them with the love that only a mother could give. Yes, he adored his father, but he also adored his mother as well. For so long in his life, she had been the most beautiful woman in the world and had modeled what he had looked for in a wife off of her. Now here she was, admitting that the bond he had always felt with her hadn't always been there.

"You got better..."

"Of course I did. I wasn't going to remain disconnected from my babies forever. I wanted to be close with my twins more than anything and I worked and worked until I got where I was supposed to be. Rose will get there too."

"Will you talk to her? Maybe she'll feel better and not so alone if you shared your experience?" Jack felt as if he was overstepping, but his worry for his wife filled his mind. He loved her so much and wanted her to be happy and full of the same joy he felt when he held their daughter. He wanted Claire to know the warmth of her mother's love and he knew that Rose wanted it as well. She looked up to his mother so much, knowing that she had gone through the same thing would help.

"Of course I will. The poor girl...she must be so heartbroken right now..."

Sitting down the bottle and looking down onto his daughter's beautiful eyes, he imagined how he would feel if he didn't feel the bond he had with his child. He remembered the pain that still stung him when he thought of all the time he had missed with Jake. It was a pain that he never wanted Rose to feel and knew that she was feeling now. "I know she is. She loves her children so much. She wants the bond with Claire."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow. When she is back and has had some rest. Maybe you can take the children and Claire to visit with Janie and Rose and I can have a mother and daughter in law day."

"That would be great! Thanks mom," Jack smiled, feeling relieved. Things weren't looking so dark anymore. It looked like his mother was going to make everything okay once again.

"Anything for you, my sweet boy," Irene smiled, gently touching Jack's face. She loved her youngest son so much, and it did her heart good to help his family. It was a family that had enjoyed with Albert and one that she had once been afraid Jack wouldn't have. Thankfully, things had worked out for Jack and she was going to make sure that it stayed that way for a good long time.