"Yazzy Bear." I sing softly, bouncing Yasmin lightly in my arms while trying to feed her a bottle, her having a fit because more than likely she wants Brittany to breast fed her, and is refusing the bottle. I know she's hungry and needs a nap, but she won't eat. My head is throbbing from a headache, and I'm hungry and tired myself, so I completely understand her crankiness. Sebastian is with my dad and uncle, my dad wanting to show off his grandson to his buddies at the lodge, so he's been gone for a few hours, more than excited when my dad held his hand so they could leave the house. Brittany is changing Bellamy's diaper, having just fed and burped her, she fell asleep so Brittany is most likely putting her down to finish her nap.

"Yazzy Bear, come on mami and eat." I sigh, holding the bottle to her mouth again. She looks up at me and starts to scream louder, her little face and ears turning red, as Brittany walks in the room.

"I'll feed her Sanny, otherwise she's going to wake Bellz and we'll have two cranky babies, instead of one." Brittany says softly, sitting on the bed against the headboard and unbuttoning her shirt. "Come to momma, sweetheart."

I set the bottle down and hand her to Brittany, watching her immediately latch on and start to eat, her little tan hand resting on Brittany's breast as she quickly sucks. "Are you sore, do you need ice?" I ask Brittany, knowing she pumped and fed Bellamy within the past couple hours.

Brittany yawns and shakes her head. "Different breast." She smiles as I sit down next to her and run my fingers through my hair. She pats the bed next to her, so I shuffle to sit close to her and rest my head on her shoulder. When Brittany turns her head to kiss my on the forehead, a sense of relief comes over me, and I feel myself relax a little, so I rest my hand on Yasmin's legs and rub there softly. She stops sucking for a moment and glances at me, before going back to it, her eyes closing for a moment.

When we got to Lima everything seemed to fast forward, the house was full of people fawning over the kids, Yasmin and Bellmay being passed around, Bellamy all smiles and loving the attention, Yasmin not really liking going from person to person at all. Sebastian followed Yasmin to every person that held her, letting them know she didn't want to be in their arms and that's why she was crying, which I thought was hilarious, because it was true.

The doctors said my abuela needed to rest so we didn't go visit her with my mom and her sisters. I told Brittany I would rather go visit her in the morning when there isn't so much family around, so we've just been hanging around the house for a while, wanting to calm the girls down from all the excitement. I plan to cook dinner for my parents, then I know Aunt Silvia will be back over with Lio and Quinn most likely. Quinn called me and said her family wants to see the kids, and since I haven't seen the Fabray's in a while, or the Holston's, her mom's side of the family, I asked Brit was it okay if we went over to a few houses for a couple of hours, which she agreed and had no problem doing at all.

"She's calming down." I sigh as I turn a little and lean back more on the headboard.

Brittany hums to Yasmin softly for a few moments, mumbling soft declarations of love and admiration to her before I feel her hand on my thigh. "Did you want to go visit anyone tonight? Any other family or old friends?"

"No." I shake my head. "I'm sure we'll have some family over tonight anyways, it's more people flying in this evening I overheard my mom say."

Brittany nods as Yasmin hiccups and takes a deep breath before continuing to eat. "She's so spoiled." She laughs, tapping her on the nose.

I nod and quickly agree with her. "Yes, she is. She wants her momma all the time." I laugh. "And of course, her momma is always obliging and ready for her."

"She wants me for food, she wants you to go to sleep." Brittany smiles.

"Bellamy goes right to sleep." I nod, picking up the monitor and setting it in my lap. "But Yasmin needs to hear a song first."

Yasmin finally gets full and detaches from Brittany, looking up at her as she smacks her lips, making us both laugh. Brittany lifts her bib and wipes her mouth before kissing her on the forehead and handing her over to me. I grab her and sit her on my lap, the two of us having a staring contest. "It's like looking into a mirror." I whisper.

Brittany giggles. "That's how I feel when I look at Bellz, aside from me having hair." She teases.

I laugh as I think about Bellamy's bald head. "Bash is so concerned about her not having hair."

"Poor thing." Brittany laughs as she fixes her shirt and reaches for Yasmin again, who smiles at her and kicks her head happily. "Your sister doesn't have hair, you didn't save her any."

I laugh at Brittany and exhale as she starts to hum and rock Yasmin to sleep, I lock eyes with Brittany when she glances at me and nod to her that I'm okay. "What are you cooking tonight?" She asks. I know she's just trying to keep my mind off of everything that's going on, and I'm so thankful for that.

Shaking my head I unzip Yasmin's onesie, since she's a little red, indicating she's hot. "I don't know." I shrug, pulling Yasmin's socks off and kissing her toes. "I hand't really thought about it, I feel like everything is all over my mind right now. I want to cook, I need to cook."

Brittany kisses Yasmin, who is finally asleep, on the cheek and gets out of bed, I watch her leave the room to put Yasmin in the crib with Bellamy. I sit up and take my shirt off as well, leaving me in my tank top underneath. Brittany comes back in the room and sits back on bed next to me. "Are you hot?"

"A little." I tell her. "I'll turn on the air here tonight if it stays this warm."

"Do you parents even use the air?" Brittany laughs, pulling her hair into a ponytail and picking up her phone. We bought my parents a central air unit a few years ago when they had record high temps down here in Lima. I was concerned about them and of course my abuela who spends a lot of time over here, so Brittany and I surprised them and my abuela with central air. I told my dad not to worry about the bill and to just keep the air on, and that I would pay the bill for them. So every summer I pay their energy bill hoping that they keep the air on and stay cool. I wasn't entirely surprised when we got here and the air wasn't on, since it wasn't as bad out.

"If it's really hot out they do, but I want them to start using it more." I nod to her. "And with the girls here, we need it on."

"What's going on in your head?" Brittany asks me, setting her phone down.

"Everything." I tell her, looking up at her. "I feel like everything is going in supersonic speed, and I want to somehow make everything slow down, but I think the minute I stop, I'm going to crash so I just power through it."

She nods and kisses me on the cheek. "You know that I'm here for you, and I've been through this too, watching a sick grandparent, so I know how you feel completely. Anything you need or want, just let me know and I'll accommodate you."

"I know, B, thank you, honeybee." I nod and kiss her again. "Feel like watching some TV while it's still kind of quiet."

"Sure." Brittany replies, scooting closer to wrap her arms around me, I move more into her embrace and lay on her chest, sighing in the process.


"Hola Yasmin, Hola Bellamy." My dad smiles waving brightly at the girls, who are propped up on the couch, Yasmin leaning into her big sister a little, since her balance isn't as good as Bellamy's just yet. Bellamy smiles back right away her big blue eyes twinkling while she waves her hands excitedly. Yasmin stares at Bellamy to see her reaction, before turning and giving my dad a gummy smile.

I watch him hand them each a stuffed animal, Yasmin a panda bear, and Bellamy a giraffe. My dad then kneels down in front of them, and starts to talk quietly to them in Spanish, pointing to the toys every so often, and pointing to each baby. Bellamy would stare at him and start smiling while Yasmin stares at him, holding her panda bear tightly, like she's processing everything he's saying and taking it super seriously. I laugh when she glances at Bellamy, who is cracking herself up. You would think my dad is telling the best joke ever with how entertained Bellamy is. Yasmin starts to kick her feet happily, holding her panda tightly.

I smile as he starts to sing a song to them, tapping their feet, Bellamy being the ham that she is, soaking it right up, screeching and smiling, while Yasmin keeps looking to her to see how she should react, after seeing how happy Bellamy is, Yasmin starts to smile bigger and laugh louder. It's so cute, I love that my dad is getting to spend this time with them, and they are so receptive to him too, especially since when my mom is around she has a tendency to hog them both, somehow. My mom and her sisters are still at the hospital, but my dad came home with a tired Bash around 30 minutes or so ago, Brittany laid him in the recliner so he could finish his nap, it'll be a lot of people in and out of the house and we don't want him to be cranky the entire time. He looks so cute, curled in a little ball, holding his stuffed football, a thin blanket over him.

"She's such a little sister." Brittany says softly as she sits next to me on the love seat and offers me a sip of her lemonade, which I accept and nod.

"Yeah she is, whatever Bellz does, she does too." I nod, watching as Yasmin continues to glance at Bellamy before focusing on my dad.

Bellamy starts to squeal, Yasmin quickly looking at her before looking back at my dad and hiding her face behind her bear and peeping out at him. "This one is coy." He nods to Yasmin before turning to Brittany and me.

"Si, very." Brittany agrees, placing her hand on my bare thigh, since I changed into a pair of shorts.

"Much like you at this age." My dad winks at me before turning back to the girls, he moves the bear from Yasmin's face and quickly kisses her on the nose and moves it back, covering her face again. She squeals and starts to kick her legs excitedly, causing her to fall into Bellamy, who smiles and laughs. My dad laughs and props her back up, setting her panda bear back in her lap and repositioning the pillows to help her sit up more. "Clumsy like your mami." My dad teases and glances at me.

I blush and lean more into Brittany's embrace. "I'm thinking of making burgers and kabobs for everyone, will you help me grill?" I ask Brittany.

"Of course, do you want to head to the store?" She then asks me.

"Sure." I nod. "Papi, we are going to head to the store and get some things for dinner, are you okay with the three kids, or do you want us to take the girls, or one of the girls?" I ask.

"Of course, Abu has everything handled." He nods with a smile as Bellamy starts to reach for his hand. "Take my card."

"No, no, no." Brittany shakes her head quickly. "We have it Papi Lopez, put your wallet up."

My dad nods and stuffs his wallet back in his pocket. "I will be okay with the girls." He tells us. "Crespo will back up soon, then we can help me out if I need help."

"Okay." I sigh. "Ready, baby?"

Brittany nods and stands up, I watch her take her glass to the kitchen before walking over to Sebastian and kissing him on the cheek, which wakes him up. "Hey." I smile, kneeling down and rubbing his back. "Did you have fun with Abu?"

He nods and smiles, a small yawn escaping his mouth. "Momma and mami are going to get some treats at the store, can you stay with Abu and help him with your babies?"

"Bach help Abu." He nods.

"Thank you." I wink at him, kissing him on the forehead again. I then run upstairs to grab my purse as Brittany comes back in the living room.

I sit on the bed and take a deep breath before grabbing my purse and slipping on my sneakers, I grab Brittany's converse for her and head back downstairs where I hear her explaining to my dad that the girls have bottles, labeled with their names if they get fussy, but they should be okay while we are at the store. I watch her kiss the girls on the cheek, Yasmin reaching for her face with a smile afterwards.

While Brittany gets her shoes on, sitting next to Bash and talking to him quietly. I kiss all over the girls faces, Bellamy blushing and turning bright red, while Yasmin gives me a big smile. "You two behave for your Abu." I tell them. "Take care of your little sister, okay?" I smile at Bellamy, kissing them on the forehead again and standing up.

Once we are in our SUV Brittany immediately leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "Thanks." I smile before reversing out of the driveway. We make the short trip to the store in a comfortable silence. I don't think either one of us knows what to say really, so I enjoy the silence, and hop out right away when we reach the store.

"Cheetos for Bash as a treat?" Brittany asks as we enter the store.

I nod to her. "Yes, he's been very good, especially in the car on the trip here. "I just hope we don't have a set back with his potty training while we are down here." I grab a cart and set my purse in.

"We can keep him on a schedule, baby." Brittany shrugs. "Just like at home, we'll just keep asking him if he needs to go, and we can put a diaper on him tonight." She suggests. "Are we having him in the room with the girls?"

"Si." I nod, heading straight to the meat department and grabbing some hot dogs for Sebastian, and some steaks for everyone else. "Can you grab some chicken wings and legs, I can grill those too, you never know how much family is coming over, so I want to make sure we have enough, whatever is left can be leftovers for tomorrow or I can repurpose it for breakfast tomorrow morning."

"Take a deep breath." Brittany tells me, standing behind me. I feel her rest her hands on my shoulders and start to massage there.

I nod and follow her suggestion, leaning back into her embrace. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize for your feelings." She tells me, kissing me on the cheek and walking over to the meat cooler, grabbing several packs of chicken and sticking them in the cart. "Do you think that's enough steak?"

"Yeah, I'm going to cut them in pieces." I tell her. "Can you text Lio and Quinn and invite them over for me, and call Mathias, I want to see when him and Aliana are flying in."

"Got it." Brittany nods and pulls out her phone.

"Thanks." I smile at her, grabbing another pack of hotdogs for more of my younger cousins. We breeze through the store, grabbing more items, some fresh produce so I can make pico, and a salad for dinner as well. After checking out Brittany hops in the driver seat, taking the keys out of my hand. I raise my eyebrow at her and shrug before walking over to the passenger side and hopping in.

I notice how slow Brittany is driving and start to prepare for the worst, since she's being super mechanical again. "What's going on?" I ask her nervously. "You're being weird, and..."

Brittany pulls into a McDonald's and parks, she turns and looks at me quickly. "I was just trying to remember where the ice cream shop was here." She says shyly. "I wanted to surprise you and take you there to get a shake, hoping it would lift your spirits a little, I know how much you love them, but I can't remember."

Letting out a sigh of relief, I nod and close my eyes, opening them slowly and leaning over to kiss Brittany. "Sorry I'm so on edge." I tell her. "That's really sweet of you, but it's across town, you should have made a right on Tyler Road instead of a left." I tell her with a smile. "A shake from here is fine."

"Rats." She shakes her head. "I thought about making a right there too."

"It's okay, we can get Bash a little sundae from here too." I suggest. "You are totally the best wife." I wink at her.

"Score!" She laughs as she heads to the drive thru line. "I just want you to feel better, or at least more relaxed."

"I know, baby." I reply as we wait patiently in line.

"I can start with the salad and get that out of the way, and I can make that pasta salad you like, the one with the tri color pasta?" Brittany smiles.

"Yes, oh my God, baby, I love when you make that." I nod. "Did we get bacon or do you know if my parents have any?" I ask. "I didn't look in their fridge really."

"I bought a couple of pounds." She tells me.

"Cool, I want a chocolate shake, and let's get Bash a hot fudge sundae." I tell her. "I'll share with them, since I know you like to get caramel."


Midnight

Today was one of the longest days ever, full of nothing but my thoughts it seems like. After getting to Lima everything just seemed to run together and turned into a blur. Brit and I grilled out for everyone, and as I suspected a ton of company came over after leaving the hospital. Almost everyone brought gifts and toys for our kids, Sebastian loving all his new trucks, Legos, army men, dinosaurs, and superhero toys. The girls got a ton of clothes and stuffed animals, Bellamy playing with everything but Yasmin sticking to the panda bear my dad gave her.

Everyone left around 10pm or so, which was good because we were able to get Sebastian down for bed, him being extremely tired. I took a shower while Brittany nursed Yasmin, and then I fed Bellamy, who was wide awake and looking all around. Brittany laid down and fell asleep after putting the girls down, so I took this moment to come outside for a few minutes to just have a little time to myself. My parents have a little chair swing in their backyard so I've been sitting on it rocking for a while, just thinking. Random memories of my abuela popping up, always leading into another memory right away. I hear the back doors close and look up to see Brittany walking out, both girls in her arms. I stand up and meet her halfway to grab Yasmin, who is awake from her, Bellamy sleeping peacefully.

"Hey, is something wrong?" I ask her, as we walk back over to the swing and sit down.

"Yes, you weren't in bed, so I wanted to check on you. Yasmin was awake and I saw you in the backyard through the window when I changed her diaper." Brittany tells me.

I glance down at my little clone and smile. "Why are you awake?" I ask her, rubbing her stomach, earning a small smile from her.

"It's so warm out tonight." Brittany smiles, adjusting Bellamy, who's wrapped to her, and loosening the wrap. I lean down and kiss Bellamy on the forehead, rubbing her legs a little.

"Very warm out, we should get one of these for our yard." I tell Brittany.

She nods and rocks side to side, staring at Bellamy. "We can definitely look into one when we get home." She looks up at me and smiles.

"When your grandfather died, did you feel like a piece of you was gone?" I ask her, cuddling Yasmin close to me when I see her starting to drift to sleep.

"Yes." Brittany nods. "I felt like it was the end of my world, like I would never recover at moments, I saw him in the hospital just like you're going to see your abuela tomorrow. I get it, I totally get what you're going through, but the difference with our situations is that you have me to be strong for you, you can lean on me, you can cry to me, you can scream, you can do whatever you need to...and I'll still be standing here, right by your side."

"I'm sorry you didn't have anyone." I tell her softly. "That's so shitty."

Brittany shrugs. "Sometimes in life different people go through different situations in a certain way, it was meant for me to go through that alone to build character, maybe to set up this moment so that I can help you get through this moment."

"You totally believe in all that fate and star aligning stuff, don't you?" I ask her with a smile.

"Yes." She nods firmly. "Will you come in to bed with me, please?"

I nod and stand up. "Yeah, thanks for coming out here." I lean down and kiss her, Yasmin waking up slightly and stirring in my arms. Brittany stands and kisses her on the forehead, I laugh when she relaxes in her sleep, just from Brittany's soft touch and seems peaceful again, holding a tiny fist of my shirt.

Once we get the girls all settled back in their crib, putting socks on Yasmin's hands so she doesn't scratch Bellamy or herself in her sleep, we crawl back in bed, the baby monitor next to us, I lay flush on Brittany, who holds me tightly and fall asleep.


8am

We woke up early so we could beat everyone to the hospital, the kids are home with my parents, who were more than happy to watch them, Brayden being at the house with them too, since Lio and Quinn were at the hospital with us. I'm standing outside of my abuela' stood, just not ready to go in and see her. I finally sat down with my parents this morning and found out just what's wrong with her, and shockingly I find out that she has a tumor on her brain. Apparently it's been there for a few months, growing larger and larger as the year progressed, my grandmother not wanting anyone to know, so she didn't tell anyone.

She collapsed the other day, and after being rushed to the hospital it was finally relayed to the family. I sat in the kitchen in shock, because the two options were to either risk an operation in which she had a 60% survival rate or just let her...you know? Without the surgery they give her just a few more days. I walked up to the bedroom where Brittany was nursing Bellamy and just sat on the bed, my head in my hands, I didn't know what to say or do or even think.

We got dressed right away and came out here, my mom being POA made the decision to not put her in the surgery at her age, which we all knkow my grandmother wouldn't want. If she had the surgery and it was successful she would be a vegetable, and we didn't think that was fair to her. Brittany is in the room with my abuela now, spending a few minuts with her. I wanted her to go in first and then prep me on her condition.

I stand up quickly when Brittany walks out, wiping her own eyes. "She's awake, she's pretty alert, she's looking around and will make eye contact with you. There are tubes in her so she can't talk to you, baby, but just talk to her like normal." She tells me. "Do you want me to go in with you?"

I think for a minute and shake my head. "No, just stay right here and wait for me." I request. She nods and kisses me on the check before I walk in the room. I exhale deeply when I see how small she looks, how fragile, how helpless.

"Hola abuela, it's me Santanita." I say softly in Spanish, rubbing her hand. She opens her eyes and blinks slowly. I watch a few tears stream out of her eyes and wipe them away for her with my thumb. "Why did you hide this from us?" I ask her, kneeling down next to the bed. "You knew all this time, no wonder you kept coming to New York to see the kids, why you..." I shook my head. "I love you." I continue in Spanish. "You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember, you taught me to cook, to clean, how to sew, you taught me respect, how to care about people, you taught me to love." I wipe my own tears and look away, still holding her hand tightly. I feel her squeeze my hand and choke on a sob.

I kiss her hands and say a prayer in Spanish for her heart and her soul. I then crawl in bed next to her and lay my head on her shoulder as I start to tell her stories about the kids, and some stories a bout the two of us, wanting her last memories to be good ones.


Thoughts?