I love you, Kurt, with all my heart. I'll be here when you're ready even if that's not tonight.
Kurt wasn't sure what to think. He had clearly gotten ahold of the very epitome of a gentleman, and he was so enamored of this man lying next to him. He leaned in, softly nuzzling Blaine's neck, up under his ear, leaving soft, wet kisses in his path over to Blaine's lips where he promptly teased him unmercifully with slow, tantalizing kisses.
"Blaine….?" He grinned into his boyfriend's mouth.
"Mmhmmm?" Blaine hummed back.
"It's tonight…" Kurt said softly into his ear , his hand wandering down to Blaine's boxers.
CHAPTER 53
"You're sure?" Blaine asked, his heart rate picking up.
"Blaine….I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life. Now stop trying to change my mind!" Kurt grinned, nudging Blaine in the stomach with his nose, leaving soft kisses from his belly button to his neck . "Unless it's really you who doesn't want to?" he purred.
"What? No! I mean, yes! I do, I want to…so much! Kurt…." Blaine whined, grinning when he realized Kurt was just playing with him. "It's just that, I don't mind telling you I'm kinda nervous, myself." Blaine's mind was racing with everything he knew about Kurt's past and how one wrong move could send him spiraling. He didn't want to make that move and ruin what should be a beautiful night for them.
"Then let's work the nerves out by not thinking about what we're about to do and just…easing into it?" Kurt suggested, still placing the soft kisses all over Blaine's chest and belly, his fingers still softly stroking over Blaine's boxers, barely touching, just teasing and enjoying the show.
"I can….ohgod….I can get behind that plan…" Blaine choked out as Kurt began to put a little more umph behind his teasing fingers.
"You know, um…while we're telling things we haven't discussed yet, do you remember the morning you heard me bellowing and sent me the text that said "bad morning?" I was um….I'd been having this amazing dream about you…and me…and right when things were getting really good, my alarm went off. That's why I was yelling." Kurt said, blushing.
"Been there, done that….way too many times to count. And I wasn't joking…these walls are paper thin. I can often um…hear things….that maybe you don't uhhhh…want me to? But….Kurt, NO!" Blaine laughed, seeing the look of utter mortification on his lover's face.
"Oh my God, Blaine…seriously….you can…hear…that?" Kurt whined, hiding his face in Blaine's chest.
"Don't….Kurt don't be embarrassed. Just um….noises….sounds…moans now and again, and I'm not sure if you're even awake! You could be dreaming of uneven hems or burnt soufflé, who knows? It's such a turn on, though…seriously. I just hope that you're thinking of me?"
"Wouldn't be thinking of anyone else. Wanna help me make those noises?" Kurt asked shyly.
"More than anything." Blaine breathed out with a soft grin. "…just really nervous about doing something wrong, Kurt. If I…um…If I'm too uh….I mean, if you don't want me to-" Blaine spluttered.
"Blaine?" Kurt said calmly, looking him in the eye.
"Y-yeah?"
"Make love to me?" Kurt whispered into his ear so softly that Blaine was straining to hear it over his own pounding heart.
"Absolutely…" tumbled out of Blaine's mouth, and he leaned in to kiss Kurt's lips. It was enough for now, the soft kisses, the whispered words, the careful caresses. Blaine made sure his mouth was attached to Kurt at some point on his body at all times, and he wasn't disappointed in the way Kurt reacted. He was squirming under Blaine's hands and doing plenty of touching of his own with all of Blaine's skin on display the way it was.
"I love the tone of your skin…it's so beautiful." Kurt breathed out, nipping below Blaine's ear, softly suckling there and feeling his boyfriend writhe beneath him. When Kurt's fingers started to tug on the elastic of Blaine's boxers, he eased his hips up off the bed and helped Kurt slide them down. He flicked them off his foot to the floor and turned back into Kurt's neck, kissing and licking and generally making him a wanton mess.
Blaine ran his hand down Kurt's chest to his stomach and when he reached the happy trail he sought, he realized that Kurt was hard again, and leaking pre-cum steadily. Gripping Kurt's length and giving it a stroke, he heard Kurt's breath woosh out and "ohshityeah" followed right along with it. He grinned knowing Kurt was ready to go again, and continued his soft, rhythmic strokes.
"K-Kurt…need you. Do you want me to…um…myself or did you want to….uh…?" Blaine grunted, unable to keep still a moment longer.
"I want to, if you don't mind….I've uh…I've never done that to someone else, but if you'll guide me, I'd like to try?" Kurt said, blushing furiously. His words made him self-conscious regardless of the fact that he had his hand wrapped tightly around Blaine's most private parts.
"Yeah, yes, want you to…" Blaine trailed off, still nipping and licking at Kurt's lips. "Lube?"
"On the nightstand…and condoms there, too….please hurry…" Kurt whined, grinding down on Blaine's thigh that he'd straddled as they'd gotten comfortable on the bed. The friction between his aching cock and the hair on Blaine's leg was amazing and he caught himself thinking that just a few more well placed thrusts could end things before they began, so he slowed down.
"Fingers…give me… fingers." Kurt obliged and Blaine dribbled a good amount of lube over Kurt's long, elegant fingers, watching it catch the moonlight that was now streaming in the window of Kurt's bedroom. It was their only light and it bounced off of Kurt's skin making him practically glow. "Like an angel…." He murmured as Kurt's slick fingers teased his hole before he slid one inside slowly, carefully.
Blaine's back arched and he whimpered, not minding the slight burn at all. Kurt wasn't convinced.
"I'm hurting you…" he said, clearly concerned.
"No…no Kurt, it's fine. It's good, really. Slowly, 'kay? Yes…like that…Jeeez….so good." Blaine praised him. "One more now…"
"I've never been so….ohhhhhgod….. hard or…or turned on in my life, Blaine. Gonna…explode or…ignite or…."
"Spontaneously combust? Ohfuck!" Blaine grinned through the searing, needy heat that shot through his body, leaning up to kiss Kurt again, trying to keep as calm as possible. Kurt was being so careful and Blaine just wanted him to go for it Kurt huffed out a chuckle and leaned in to the kiss.
"Very funny. That was mortifying! Thrown under the bus by a four year old."
Blaine tensed as Kurt eased a second finger in, his hips lifting from the sheets and his teeth clenched.
"I'm doing it wrong, aren't I?" Kurt said, getting upset.
"Kurt, 's fine, really." He groaned, wincing. "The whole purpose is to open me up, ok….to stretch me out sooooooooooohhhhfuckme!" Blaine moaned, his mouth hanging open and his eyes clamped shut. "So I can accommodate…you…all of you. Just….Godyesrightthere…" he moaned again, writhing under Kurt's touch. "It's been a-w-while since I've had fingers…or anything down there at all. You're fine…perfect actually. I've never felt more cared for. Please don't s-stop." Blaine assured him. Kurt simply nodded, dribbled more lube and continued on.
"Maybe if I took your mind off of it a bit by…uh…." Kurt led in, wrapping his fist around Blaine's leaking cock and giving it a few good strokes before leaning down to wrap his tongue teasingly around the head. "Better?"
"Godohshityeahplease…" Blaine whined, his back arching once again, but this time in pleasure. "So good, baby…so good for me. Need more, Kurt. Add another…" he instructed.
Kurt bit his bottom lip but did as he was asked, keeping up the strokes on Blaine's cock as he did so. He dribbled more lube onto his fingers wanting nothing more than to make this part as comfortable for Blaine as he could. Seeing Blaine's eyes drift shut, he leaned in and gave the head of his cock a good, long suck again and then sunk down on it as far as he could. He'd only done this once before with Blaine, but he remembered what he liked, and teasing the head and the ridge just around it was top of the list. He pulled off with a wet pop, his tongue slipping between his own lips to reach for Blaine's slit before moving to adjust his own body between Blaine's knees.
"More?" he asked.
"God, Kurt, I can't. I can't wait…need you now. Please…just…slick yourself up and get inside me. Need to feel you…want to know you're in me and we can't be any closer." Blaine begged. His voice was gravelly and his body wrecked, arching, straining and writhing around Kurt's fingers.
"So pretty when you want something…." Kurt teased.
"You break me down, Kurt. You make me a w-weak man. I need you, do anything for you. Just please…get inside me…make me yours."
Kurt reached for the box of condoms on the nightstand and carefully opened the package. This was a first, and he was almost reverent about it. Looking at it a few seconds too long, Blaine's eyes opened and he watched Kurt with fascination.
"You're looking at it as if you've never seen one before, Kurt." He grinned.
"Oh, I've seen plenty…just never…um….on me…or anyone else for that matter." Kurt said shyly. Suddenly it hit Blaine, again, that it was Kurt's first time. First time….and it was with him and he needed to make it as perfect as he could.
"Let me, then?" Blaine offered, holding out his hand for the condom. Kurt complied and put it in Blaine's palm. He pinched the end and began to roll it onto Kurt's cock, hoping Kurt wasn't uncomfortable with it. It was something he'd never done before, either…putting a condom on someone else. He didn't want Kurt to be uncomfortable though, so he thought he'd take at least one thing off his mind. When his thumbs reached the base of Kurt's cock he let go, fingers trailing down to graze at Kurt's ball sac and Kurt sucked in a breath so quickly he nearly choked.
"Sh-shit, Blaine!" he hissed through clenched teeth. "Not gonna last long if you keep that up." Kurt said, falling forward and bracing his hands on either side of Blaine's head.
"Slide inside me, Kurt. Seal the deal, Love, I'm all yours." Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, tongue fitting out to tease at Kurt's earlobe.
"Blaine….kind of terrified here…."
"No…nothing to be terrified of. It's you and me, baby. Just us. Don't panic, ok? If you don't want to, we'll stop, right now." Blaine said gently, his hands reaching up to find a place on Kurt's cheeks, his thumbs softly swiping across Kurt's rosy lips. "I promise….I love you. I want you to be ok with this, alright?" Blaine said with such love and caring that Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes.
"Want to, though. I want you, Blaine. I just don't wanna screw it up."
"There's no way in hell you could screw this night up, Kurt. It's already been perfect, and this is just the icing on the cake. Let me help?"
"Yeah….ok." Kurt replied softly, his lips meeting with Blaine's again. He felt Blaine's hand move down between them and grasp his achingly hard cock before guiding it down between his own legs and lining it up with his puckered hole.
"Ok, we'll go slow, but ohgod, not too slow, cause seriously I'm dying, and you're just going to start with the head, Kurt, alright? Just ease in and tell me how it feels, ok?"
"K…just the head. If I hurt you-"
"I'll tell you, I promise. It'll be tight…and that's ok." Blaine grinned. "Kiss me, and push inside?" Kurt did so, easing in, feeling that initial ring of muscle trying to keep him out, but he was insistent. He was going to do this. He was going to make love to his beautiful Adonis tonight come hell or high water. "That's it…" Blaine grunted softly. "More….go slowly…but I need more, Kurt."
"I'm dying…clearly I must be dead…so tight, B….so slick and tight….." Kurt babbled out while Blaine just chuckled at him.
"A little more baby…b-bottom out. We're good now. P-push in and be still, ok? Just let me…ughmmmm…. get my bearings about me and then you can move?" Blaine panted out, sounding like a 95 year old lifetime chain smoker. He was wrecked. His whole body was screaming pleasurepressurepain.
"Uh huh, ok…" Kurt said, his fears drifting slowly to the wayside.
"Slowly….pull out….not all the way, but then push back in slowly as well." Blaine instructed, grunting when Kurt did so, his eyes rolling back in his head and a long, guttural moan escaped his lips. "Damn, baby….so good….so….so good. You ok?"
"Scale of 1-10…..ohfuck…..10 being ok…..I'm about a 37."
Blaine wanted to laugh out loud, or at least chuckle, but his body felt so full he didn't dare make a sound or he'd terrify Kurt. He knew the sounds that would escape him now would be harsh and not even close to a turn on. In fact, he was pretty sure it'd be a full on whimper. He was out of practice, but there was no way in hell he was going to tell Kurt that. No way would he tell him how long it'd been, how he'd walked out of his last boyfriend's life without looking back and he felt no regrets at all about it. Months…months before he'd moved to New York he'd stayed away from the bar scenes, the invites to go out with friends, the Friday night dinners with Jeff and Trent.
Then he came here and saw the angel who was currently hovering above him, and he knew then that nobody else would do. He wasn't interested in looking, he'd found what he wanted, what he needed, and tonight was the beginning of something so very special between them. He was full to bursting, not only with Kurt, but with happiness and contentment.
Blaine was brought back when Kurt picked up his pace a bit, feeling a little more confident now, obviously, and he felt a bit more sure of the words he could form.
"Love you…God, I love you, Kurt…." He panted out, his limbs beginning to strain. He felt his toes curl a bit and knew the sensation, knew what was building.
Kurt leaned in again to kiss him, and it was so cute, the way he wanted their lips to connect, but his timing was off and every time he'd thrust forward he'd lose contact. Finally Blaine grabbed his face in both hands and just smiled into his eyes, claiming his mouth and holding him there. He ran his right hand down Kurt's face, over his shoulder, down his ribs and to his pale, unblemished hip, holding him there, setting the pace and allowing them to connect on a higher level.
"Love….love you, too, B. It's so good…so good, I never knew…never thought….." he panted, energy waning from the exertion. He felt the warm roll in the pit of his stomach and knew he was close again. It dawned on him then that Blaine hadn't had any release at all, whereas he'd already come once. Locking eyes he nuzzled Blaine's nose with his own and whispered soft, silly things to him, ending with "let me touch you?"
"Yeah…yes, please…." Blaine moaned, knowing he was close. Kurt found the lube and slicked his hand, grasping Blaine confidently and working him over until he whined for mercy. "Gonna come, Kurt…don't stop…please don't stop!" he grunted, rocking up to meet Kurt's insistent thrusts, then spurted hotly all over Kurt's hand and his own chest, growling with the ferocity of his release.
In his half blissed out state, he watched the emotions flit across Kurt's face and thought, for just a moment he saw a hint of disappointment, but that quickly it was gone. Still, it bothered him. The man currently inside him, panting above him, his body sheened with sweat glistening in the moonlight was nothing short of an angel….and he was his angel. He knew Kurt was close. He was straining now, shoving in hard and looked on the brink of collapse.
"Shhh, baby…ok, it's ok…." Blaine cooed, calming him a bit. He leaned up, his arms bent at the elbow now and kissed Kurt softly, then leaned in and nipped at his neck, working soft kisses and nips all down his chest until he found a dusky pink nipple. He knew what those were to Kurt….kryptonite.
"Need to come….Bl-Blaine…..NEED to come! Please…" Kurt whined, breathless.
Licking over the nipple then biting down he nearly wept at the sound of Kurt's cry of release, the way he punched his hips forward one last time and shuddered repeatedly, collapsing on Blaine's chest and then both fell to the bed, panting, spent, sated.
"I get it now." Kurt panted a few moments later, his eyes not even open.
"Get what, beautiful?"
"Why. Why people do it. Over and over and with strangers if necessary, I get it. I can't, for the life of me, though, imagine for even one second, that it could be nearly as satisfying with someone you don't love….the way I love you."
Blaine rolled to his side, face to face with Kurt and placed a soft hand on his cheek, smiling at Kurt, chest still heaving. He leaned in to kiss Kurt softly, nipping at his bottom lip and smiling into it. He couldn't help it. He'd never been so happy before in all his life.
"I'd have to agree with you there. I've never felt the way I feel right now. Not ever…not with anyone, and that doesn't mean there's a long list, because that's not the case….but knowing that the man inside you loves you is so sexy, such a turn on…it's just so much fucking better. Thank you for that, Kurt. Thank you for giving me this….this night….you. I'm honored and humbled." Blaine said, his heart near to bursting.
"Will you be honest with me about something?" Kurt asked, his breathing finally returning to normal.
"Ummm…yeah?" Blaine answered, hesitating a bit. Well, that didn't sound promising at all…..and he flashed back to that moment of disappointment on Kurt's face just a few minutes before.
"Uh…it's painfully evident that this was my first time, and as amazing as it was, I think I was supposed to be able to come when you did….that's how it always happens in the movies, right? They climax together and scream out obscenities and all that….stuff?" Kurt said, looking pained and pitiful as if he'd failed.
"Oh my God, Kurt, no….no, baby. You did nothing wrong at all. That's….that's rare, I think, for that to happen. I mean, think about it….what are the odds that it would happen that way, at exactly the same time? Maybe in porn…but I think we've covered the fact that those aren't…uh…the best examples of what really happens….what people really do, what they look like, the things they say? I mean, I've seen a few where the guy or guys just repeat the word "fuuuuuuckkkk" over and over in a monotone, until it starts to sound like a mooing cow. Very distracting. I'd much rather hear what you're thinking…your voice…your thoughts…your feelings?"
"My feelings, huh? Well, I'm feeling like I'm pretty much on top of the world right this minute. I'm officially not a virgin anymore, I've got a boyfriend who makes my life complete, he's in my bed, he's naked and he's got this little trail of yummy running up his chest here…." Kurt giggled, running his finger through the trail of semen on Blaine's chest.
"Tickles!" Blaine laughed, swatting at Kurt's hand. Kurt threw a t-shirt at him and helped him clean up just a bit.
"Lest I forget later, to tell you, my lovely…." Blaine laughed, Kurt rolled his eyes. "That was amazing. YOU were amazing. Pretty much the best night of my life, close second only to finding an angel on a piano bench in the attic. And I love you." Blaine told him, every ounce of sincerity he could pull forth in his words.
"I love you more, B. It was perfect…thank you." Kurt smiled, laying his head on Blaine's chest and pulling the sheet up over them both. They snuggled there for a minute or two before Blaine's phone buzzed in his pants pocket. He ignored it at first, but then it became constant and he feared it may have been important so he hopped out of bed and retrieved the offending device. The look on his face had Kurt puzzled. Blaine read the text message, shot Kurt a silly smile, shook his head and then looked confused.
"Be right back…" he said, tossing the phone on the bed toward Kurt. Then he scampered out of the room, still stark naked and headed for the front door.
"BLAINE! What the…you don't have anything ON!" Kurt hissed at him, giggling like a schoolgirl. The front door opened, there was a shuffling, then a loud bark of laughter from down the hall, then the door closed and Blaine returned with a basket full of ….stuff. Just stuff…and Kurt was confused.
"Ok, spill, what the hell?" Kurt said grinning.
"Didn't you read the text messages?"
"I don't make a habit of picking up other peoples' phones and reading their private conversations, Blaine." Kurt said, looking down his nose in a superior fashion.
"This'll make much more sense if you do." He laughed.
11:22p from Sebastian: Answer the door
11:23p from Sebastian: I'll keep texting you until you do.
11:23p from Sebastian: I'm attempting to be half human here, indulge me.
11:24p from Sebastian: And the very least I can get out of this is a moon shot, Blaine.
The phone buzzed in Kurt's hand again as he read.
11:27p from Sebastian: Well played, Hummel. I can be a graceful loser, and don't even act surprised.
Kurt shook his head in bewilderment, then grinned like an idiot when Blaine began to unpack the basket he'd found at the door. Inside was a bottle of expensive wine, chocolate covered strawberries, a can of whipped cream and a handful of tealight candles in small glass holders. The note attached to the outside read:
It's about fucking time (haha, see what I did there?) I concede. Enjoy, and let round two begin! Seb
"Oh my God….." Kurt whined, his face suddenly bright red. He laughed and buried his face in Blaine's chest, mortified that Sebastian knew what was going on.
"Thin walls, babe…." Blaine laughed. "Let's count our blessings that he wasn't commentating the whole thing?"
"So what was the laughter in the hallway?" Kurt questioned.
"The moon shot. I wiggled my butt at him as he was going back inside his door." Blaine said, as if it was the most common thing ever.
"You did not!" Kurt hissed, scandalized, yet laughing.
"Love….you got what he wanted, and I love what I've got. I'm all yours…let him have a butt wiggle?" Blaine said seriously, as if they'd been discussing the Federal deficit.
"Maybe…..but now I'll never do anything in my bed again. We should go to your place where you don't share walls with him!" Kurt laughed.
"Jeff's there. Is that better or worse?" Blaine grinned.
"Oh….yeah, there's that. How much do you think Seb can hear, though?" he all but whispered.
"Plenty…." Rang out from the wall, and Kurt and Blaine shared a look of astonishment and fell together on the bed laughing.
"Thank you, Sebastian, for the basket." Kurt said in his normal tone of voice.
"You're welcome…the wine is already chilled. Can we get down and dirty next time? That was a bit too tame for my taste." Came the sarcastic reply.
"I'll..uh….I'll work on that." Kurt blushed, staring into Blaine's eyes lovingly.
"No need to change a thing, it was perfect." Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear, nipping at his earlobe and pressing soft, loving kisses to his neck. "Perfect…."
Jeff threw his keys in the bowl by the door when he came in from the bookstore. His weekly meeting with his new favorite cat had gone well, and he'd picked up a few more books after returning the ones he'd borrowed last time. If nothing else, not having a "real job" certainly left him plenty of time to read.
He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, then strode over to flop down on the sofa to watch T.V. It wasn't until the first commercial break that the soft buzzing sound caught his attention. He muted the T.V. and wondered what the noise was. He listened, but heard nothing more. A few minutes later he heard it again and muted the T.V. once more. He waited, then placed the remote down and walked toward the sound by the front door. There on the desk sat a box with his name on it in Nick's handwriting. It was small and wrapped in plain brown paper. Opening it, he found a note and an iPhone box. The box buzzed again.
Jeffie,
I'm begging you, please…don't give up. Not now. Not yet. I feel you close by. I know you're here with me, even if it's just in my heart. I can't be without you…it's killing me. I've begun to seriously question how I survived the years before you came into my life. Without you nothing makes sense, and I don't want it to….I don't give a damn if it does or not. I need you, Jeff. You're my heart, my soul, my love. I won't do it…I won't forget you and move on, and the bottom line here, Pretty Boy, is that you can't make me.
If I make you miserable or you don't want me around, that's one thing, but I will not let my father determine the parameters of our relationship. YOU made a deal with the devil, I did not. I owe him nothing. These last weeks I've found out things about that man that have made me nauseous. I have questioned his sanity, his loyalty, and recently, even his humanity. He is an evil man, Jeff, and I want nothing to do with him. I won't allow him to chase off the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I won't. I'm asking you not to allow him to ruin the most perfect thing that I've ever experienced. If you won't do it for you, then please do it for me.
I'm sending you a present of sorts, although I can't know if you'll see it that way. I give you my word that I will not try to trace where the texts originate from if you reply. Wherever you are, you may use this phone and I will not hunt you down using any measures. I respect the fact that you wanted to be away, even though I hate it with my entire being. It's just that…with the phone…I need to be able to be in contact with you, even if it's just a text message. I need to be able to tell you goodnight each evening and to wake you with a smile and a "Good morning, Pretty Boy" every day. If you can't find it in you to reply, if it seems that you're going back on your word if you do, I will respect that, but I won't break contact with you. I didn't promise him a damn thing.
Please, Jeff, let me love you. I'll be anything you want me to be. I'll give you anything that's within my power to give you. I'll hold you and your beautiful heart above anything else in the world. I can't do it without you, so please don't ask me to.
I miss you in ways that defy words, and I'd give away everything I have just to be able to hold you again. Please….don't give up.
All my love, Pretty Boy,
Your Nicky
Jeff held the new phone in his hand, staring at it as if it held the secrets of the universe. Now what? Tears stung his eyes at Nick's words. God, he said the right things every time. Every beautiful word from his lips was like a promise and a hug and Jeff felt wrapped up in love and want. Nick wouldn't try to track him down. They could communicate if they wanted to…if HE wanted to. Clearly Nick wanted to. But he'd given his word…he said he'd stay out of Nick's life…no contact. They made a deal. The question, now, was if David Duval was keeping up HIS end of the deal or not?
10:20a from Nicky: Good morning, Pretty Boy. I miss you.
10:27a from Nicky: Do you have it? Have you opened it? J
10:34a from Nicky: I promise not to drive you insane, but I need you to know that I'm thinking of you…all the time.
10:42a from Nicky: I don't know how many times I've thought "I wish I could tell Jeff about…." Well, now I can. And I will. I'll keep you close to me any way I can.
11:03a from Nicky: And if I end up talking to myself more often than not, then I'll have to cope. I just wish I knew if you had the phone or not. I know Blaine said he'd get it to you, but who knows how long that will take? Not knowing where you are kind of sucks. I just hope you're safe…and happy. Above all, happy.
"New phone? Is that what was in the box he sent home with me last night?" Blaine asked as he walked through the room on the way to the door.
"Uh…yes and no. Nick…" he paused, unsure how to word it. "Nick sent it as a way to communicate, even if it's only him sending me messages and me not replying. I know that sounds odd, but he knows how I feel. I gave my word, Blaine, is it wrong for me to text him? Is that contact?" Jeff said, worry clouding his eyes. "For that matter, the letters are contact. Oh shit…."
"Jeff, bud, it's been weeks, now since you walked away from Nick. Does Nick have his job back?" Blaine asked, his eyebrows arched up to his hairline practically.
"Um, no…but, he doesn't want to work for his dad anymore. He said he's evil and inhuman."
"Not the point. Have you spoken with your mom or Gram? Are there still guys at your house in Ohio?" Blaine wanted to know.
"Nick still has people there. They can't find his dad, he took off when the shit hit the fan. So he's still being cautious." Jeff answered somberly.
"And has his dad contacted you or your family?"
"Not directly. From what I understand, a few of the security guys in Ohio had their tires slashed, but I can't prove that was him…or that it wasn't for that matter." Jeff answered.
"Because here's the thing. It's been almost a month since you left Nick, man. It sounds to me like you're bending over backward to hold up your end of the deal, but I'm not so sure he's doing the same. Doesn't that sort of…I dunno…negate the deal or something? Just a thought?" Blaine supplied matter of factly. "I'm gonna grab the mail. Be right back." He said, strolling out the front door.
Jeff sat at the table turning the phone over in his hand, smiling at the fact that Nick sent him a top of the line iPhone just to send text messages back and forth. Such a goober. God, Jeff missed him so much. Each day was an effort anymore. He enjoyed spending time with Blaine and also with Kurt, but his mind always went back to Nick. He wondered what he was doing, where he was, how he was faring without a job to distract him. Blaine said Nick had come to work with a cold the previous week and Jeff nearly had a breakdown wanting to call him and force him to have some chicken soup and orange juice. Instead, he called Terrance and begged him to send some up. Terrance was overjoyed to hear from him and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't just as happy to speak to the elderly man as well.
Blaine skipped down the steps to the mailboxes on the first floor and ran smack dab into Sebastian, who was also grabbing his letters and flyers.
"Blaine, such a flirty spring in your step lately. I can't imagine why that is?" Sebastian teased, drolly. "Be that as it may, I'm glad you're here." He said, too seriously. "We're going to have a conversation and I'm going to make sure my back is to the front door. I want you to carry on the conversation with me and check out the guy standing across the street in front of the red Toyota. Anyone you know?" he said, not a hint of snark or teasing in his tone. They did a short 'dance' around the hallway so that Blaine would have a clear view out the front door. "Look familiar?" Seb asked.
"Not at all." Blaine replied. "And we're wondering…why?"
"He's been around. A lot. Just seems a bit odd. I ran into him coming out of the building last week, I saw him here, one building down a couple of days ago, and here he is again, seemingly for no apparent reason. I just find it odd. I'm going to go say something to him." Sebastian said, calmly, and Blaine almost laughed.
"What? You're just going to go up get in his grill for standing on our block?!" he laughed.
"Nope, I'm gonna ask him out!" Seb said, laughing, and not sarcastically. "There's more than one way to find out someone's motives, right?" He shoved his stack of mail at Blaine and turned around.
Sebastian strode out the door and nonchalantly crossed the street. As he exited, the man turned and began ambling away, presumably without a care in the world. Seb followed.
"Hey!" he said, his tone friendly and not at all confrontational. "I've uh…I've seen you around a lot lately. Are you waiting on someone specific or are you just new to the neighborhood?"
The man gave a glance over his shoulder, smiled at Seb and kept on walking as if unsure Seb was speaking to him, although they were the only ones on this small stretch of the block.
"Yes, you, with the great ass and superior thighs…." Seb laughed. The man finally stopped and turned around.
"Are you speaking to me?" he said in an adorable British accent.
"I am…" Sebastian smiled. "Would you join me for a cup of coffee? There's this cute little place just around the corner?"
"I…I'm…" the man stuttered out, seemingly unsure of his own response. "Yeah, ok. But not just because you said I have a great ass. You should know that right off, ok?" he grinned.
"Noted. I'm Sebastian." He said, sticking his hand out to shake with the stranger.
"Ja—Jason. It's nice to meet you, Sebastian." He said, smiling back.
"We'll see if that's true or not." Seb stated with a smile. Jason looked unsure, concerned for a moment.
"I beg your pardon?" he asked hesitantly.
"If it's nice to meet me or not…right?" Sebastian smiled, his charm oozing out of every pore.
"Quite right, then….." Jason replied, grinning, and striding away with Seb at his side.
"So what's the deal with you and Sebastian?" Kurt asked Hunter, while fitting him for a pair of pants that clung like a second skin.
"No deal. He still calls, still leaves messages, still texts me once in a while."
"And do you reply in any way?" Kurt questioned.
"No, not usually. Kurt…I can't. He won't give me what I need….or maybe he can't give me what I need. I don't want to get back into it with him just to satisfy my libido when I know I'll only end up getting hurt again." Hunter answered. When Kurt didn't reply at all, Hunter got quiet as well. Eventually, Kurt blurted out the first thing on his mind, though.
"So what does he say when he messages you?"
"What? Kurt…you know Seb….he's over the top. He says whatever comes to mind with no filter at all." Hunter said.
"Such as?"
"I dunno, grab my phone and read them. I probably haven't even seen half of them. When I see who they're from, I don't bother to look. It's probably best if I just block him at this point." Hunter replied, but Kurt could tell by his body language that the mere thought of blocking Sebastian from his life hurt to just think about it.
Kurt didn't hesitate, and he grabbed Hunter's phone from the nearby table. Scrolling through, he found so many text messages from Sebastian that he was unsure where to begin. He clicked through randomly, in no particular date order or time order and reads Seb's words.
From Seb: Hunter, I know you don't want to talk, but I think there are things left to say. Don't you?
From Seb: So you claim that I can't give you what you need….but what about what I NEED? How do we deal with that?
From Seb: Because I think you're being selfish here. You're asking me for something and not willing to give anything in return. This is a HUGE step, Hunter, and I can't go all in knowing you're holding back.
From Seb: Anddd I jmiss ur kises and how yo suck me likely you have to jus to live an breathee. Am not drink so don say Iam.
From Seb: I miss you. I just wanted to say that. That's all.
From Seb: And I'm willing to give a little more if I can count on you to do the same. Can I?
From Seb: I can't believe you're at Kurt's, right down the hall and I can't even talk to you. Seriously, I'm putting tape over that bastards peephole.
From Seb: Am I holding on to something you never even wanted? Because I feel like I'm trying and you're just SO not!
There were probably a hundred more of them, most of them similar, Seb saying he would try but wanted Hunter to do something in return.
"What is it that he wants you to do?" Kurt asked. "When he says 'what about what I need?' What's he saying there?" Kurt was still pinning away at the soft fabric between his fingers.
"He says that he's not willing to give up his lifestyle if I'm going to hide him away from anyone important to me like he's a sickness or an embarrassment." Hunter answers, flippantly.
"What does that mean? Haven't you introduced him to your friends yet?" Kurt asked, beginning to wonder about the state of this "relationship" they're in.
"Kurt, I can't, and I've told you why." Hunter told him. Kurt gaped at him, mouth hanging open incredulously.
"Ok, ok, wait. So…Hunter, who knows that you're gay?" he asks, an idea in his head making it throb.
"Uh…well, clearly Sebastian, then you, Jeff, Blaine, pretty sure David's figured it out, and one of the girls in my class at school who asked me out and freaked when I told her no thanks. When I explained it to her, she promised not to say anything, though."
Kurt, again, stares, mouth agape, no longer pinning the pants and he fell back on his ass from where he'd been kneeling previously . He was pretty sure everything that he was about to say would piss Hunter off, but, really, there was no nice way to put it all out there, so he took a deep breath and just said it.
"Hunter Clarington, are you telling me that you're asking Sebastian to exclusively date you, give up the lifestyle he's used to, and be in a committed relationship with you, but you intend to hide him away from anyone and everyone around you? And he's basically aware of this, right?" Kurt asked, trying to remain calm.
"I've told you why I can't come out, Kurt. I'm fairly certain my parents would both keel over. They have such a high standing in New York society and I can't risk them kicking me out, disowning me, or God forbid not paying for my school, ya know?" Hunter replied. Kurt resumed his pinning, quietly, tossing around in his head everything Hunter had just said to him. They were quiet for a bit while Kurt finished. Hunter slipped the pants off and pulls his own back on. Kurt folded them neatly and laid them across the back of his chair in front of the sewing machine. He took a deep breath, more than prepared to say what was on his mind.
"Hunter, I know we haven't known each other very long. I really think, deep inside, that you're a good guy. I know you have a good heart, and clearly you're intelligent when it comes to book smarts and all that, but….and I mean this with all due respect…you're being a total douche, Hunter." Kurt stated. Hunter just stared at him wide eyed, clearly taken aback, and couldn't seem to find words to reply, so Kurt continued.
"Seriously, if I didn't like you so much, I'd smack you right across the face right now. What the hell are you thinking? What an asshole thing to do, Hunt!" Kurt railed.
"Kurt…what the hell?" Hunter was finally able to say.
"You want him to give up his lifestyle, his 'friends' who may end up in his bed now and again, and everything he's used to for you. And I can see why you'd want that. From what you tell me, he's a decent guy, although I'm pretty sure I could scrape off his skin right down to the bone and not see what you see in him. But that's neither here nor there. The thing is, you want to hide him…you want HIM to hide himself? That's insulting, Hunter, and if any guy tried to treat me that way, I'd have already told him to kiss my lily white ass and get lost! What are you thinking?!" Kurt bellowed, finally standing and giving Hunter his most stern lecture look. "He may be a snarky meerkat and a royal pain in the ass, but he's a human being, Hunter, and he deserves more respect than that! You can't ask someone to give you what you're asking for and then treat them as if they're an embarrassment to you, as if they're not worthy of your emotions and…..oh my GOD, have you even listened to yourself?!"
Kurt was furious now, thinking back the last few months of high school when he'd met Chandler. Chandler who wasn't allowed to have friends over, but was more than welcome to spend as much time as he wanted at Kurt's house. Chandler who had serious PDA issues, and refused to hold hands or even walk close to each other at the mall. Chandler, who apparently had parents who were out of town 95% of their waking hours, so Kurt had never met them in the three months they'd dated. He knew exactly what Sebastian was feeling, and he didn't like it one bit.
"I…I should…I'm gonna go, Kurt. I don't like being verbally attacked this way. I thought we were friends?" Hunter said, his tone soft and hurt.
"Oh, we are friends, Hunter. I wouldn't bother to say those things to someone I didn't care for. I don't want to see you lose someone you clearly care a lot about because you're a coward. I think you should go. Go home, think about what you'd do if you were in Sebastian's shoes and he just said all these things to you. Think long and hard, Hunt. I hope you see what's really going on here." Kurt said, sad that his friend was clearly upset with him. He didn't regret what he'd said, though. It was all out of respect, and if he didn't care so much about Hunter he wouldn't have bothered to even give a shit. But it was clear to him. Hunter loved Sebastian deeply, and he was starting to suspect that Sebastian was more enamored of Hunter than he was letting on to him or Blaine. He was not only hurting himself but he was also hurting Seb by his actions and his attitude toward their relationship.
Kurt stood, then, stepped up to Hunter and put his arms around him for a hug. "I DO care, Hunter. I hate seeing you unhappy. I'd much rather hear you rattle on about how satisfied you are and how much he makes you scream, even if it makes me want to vomit. I think you need to put yourself in his shoes….really think about it. And it probably wouldn't hurt to read his messages. All of them. I'm not angry with you, and I hope you can still talk to me about things, but….really, just put yourself in his shoes."
Picking up his phone and wallet, Hunter strode to the door, took a short look back and left without another word.
In his bedroom, seated on the floor next to the heating and a/c vent, Sebastian rested his head against the wall with tears in his eyes. He made a mental note to hug Hummel the next time he saw him.
