Ooh boy, I forget why I even PUT this one as a theme. I think I was planning to write smut and now I'm like BUT I'M SO BAD AT SMUT.
So I did this shitty thing instead.
EnvyLubber: Haha, I don't see why not. I've already got an idea for it. It won't be for a while though, the theme that suits it best is down in the 60s somewhere. I'm glad you like it XD
ellethearrogant: Chapter 10: Why thank you! It's one of my proudest moments in this collection, to be completely honest ^^
Chapter 19: This one seems to be a favourite. I've always wanted to explore immortality, especially in teh FMA world, and I'm glad it struck a chord. *hands tissue, accepts cookie, noms cookie* I think you're like the fifth person I've made cry with this one XD Sorry...I'm a bit of a sadist like that.
44. Pleasure/Pain
Envy hated pain. He couldn't die, of course, but that didn't mean the sensation was any less agonizing.
Edward hated pleasure sometimes. He'd lose himself in it, and then suddenly, he'd remember that Al couldn't feel it - any of it.
He preferred pleasure, although it was his little secret - chocolate parfaits, silk, warm blood, cool breezes. They tickled his sense, and even if it was a terribly human thing to do, he revelled in every single one of them.
He preferred pain. Pain centred him, reminded him of his goal. Pain, he could focus on. Pain, he could use.
Causing pain, on the other hand - that was another little pleasure. Even a bruise or a scratch, watching someone wince or scream...especially silly little pipsqueak Ed. He laughed at them, their futile struggles.
Causing pleasure, though...Tickling Winry until she giggled, or lifting little elysia into the air and making airplane noises, or watching Al with one of his strays 9even for a short time) was the only thing that he could enjoy without guilt.
Envy frowned. Looking at the pipsqueak happy - the boy who looked so much like the father he detested, who was everything that he could have been, should have been - the pain it brought was almost unbearable.
Ed tried to look away but couldn't. Seeing the homunculus in pain shouldn't have pleased him so much. He wasn't that sadistic. Even after all the creature had done to them - he couldn't be that evil! He couldn't be. He couldn't.
And that, in itself, was pain.
