HUMANTIY'S STRONGEST?

Chapter 53: Eren Gets an Earful

This chapter is mostly drabble, but sheds some light on Levi's relationship with Zoe and Mike as well as his underlying personality, and Eren has a front row seat!

One night every week, Levi would give his squad 24 hours to leave and do whatever they wanted. Eren was a little surprised the first time it was just he and the Captain at dinner. The second week, as they sat in the common room reading by the fire, Eren was startled as Zoe and Mike came barging in noisily; Mike carrying a box with several bottles of beer.

"Good evening Shorty and Titan Boy!" Zoe cried exuberantly.

Levi didn't seem the least bit startled or surprised. "I was beginning to wonder if you two were ever going to show up. You missed last week."

"Wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with the kid around," Mike said as he set the beer down on the low table that stood in front of the fire between the sofa and four chairs.

Levi set down his book and leaned back in his chair. "Tch! If Eren has the balls to take on the Colossal titan single handed, I think he can handle an evening of us three goofing off together."

"Yay!" Zoe squealed as she flopped down on the sofa next to Eren and opened a beer. "Care for a beer, Eren?"

"What is it with the military and offering alcohol to minors?!" Eren yelped.

"Who else has offered you alcohol?" Mike asked.

"Commander Pixis," Eren replied hesitantly.

Mike and Zoe burst out laughing. Levi just shook his head. "No surprise there. His belief is that if you are old enough to be recruited as a soldier and expected to fight titans, then you're old enough to drink. Tell me, Eren. Did you accept his offer?"

Eren's face turned red. "Um . . . yeah. It was awful stuff!"

Mike and Zoe laughed even harder. "And what he drinks is tame compared to that Sambucan Field Liquor you bring back sometimes!" Zoe told Levi. "You know, it would be interesting to see what affect alcohol has on you, Eren, and how it would affect your titan form!"

"Definitely not!" Levi snapped. "I don't know which would be worse; the drunk titan or the drunk teenager! No alcohol for Eren. That's an order!"

"Awwwww! It would've been fun!" Zoe whined.

"Um . . . excuse me?" Eren interjected cautiously. "What's Sambucan Field Liquor?"

"Oh, that's right! You probably don't know yet!" Zoe said.

Now Eren was beginning to feel a little nervous. "Know what?"

"Levi is a forager," Mike answered. "He frequently goes beyond the walls by himself to gather food, hunt and trade with wandering bands of humans."

"Whoa! Really? That's so cool!" Eren marveled. "Wait . . . there are people that live outside the walls?"

"There are quite a few, actually," Levi replied before taking a sip of beer. "The titan population is localized primarily to the south of the walls. Out about fifty klicks beyond the walls to the east, west and north, there are hardly any titans at all. To the east, on the steppes, are the nomadic Sambucan nomads. To the west is the ocean and the Seafarers. To the north are the Laplanders, though I've never travelled to the north to meet them."

Eren's eyes got wide. "You've seen the ocean?! What's it like? Is it beautiful? Does it really reach beyond the horizon? Is it really salty?"

"Come up for air, Jaeger," Levi interrupted. "I have seen the ocean. It is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have seen. It's never the same. It can be calm and dark blue one moment, playful and the color of your eyes the next, and black and angry the next. It does reach far beyond the horizon. Large boats are the only way to cross it. And yes, the water really is salty."

Eren was now completely enthralled. "I hear there's lots of fish and strange animals there."

The barest hint of a smile played across Levi's face and showed in his grey eyes. "There are lots of fish there; and clams, and eels, and big bugs called lobsters and crabs that live under water and are edible. There are plant like weeds called seaweed that is also edible and medicinal. There are bizarre animals that look like clear jelly, but if the stringy tendrils that float behind it touch your skin it stings and hurts like fuck! Some places the ocean crashes against rocky cliffs, and in other places, it meets soft, white sands that stretch for kilometers. There are lands beyond the horizon on the other side of the ocean, and there are islands scattered around. The Seafarers use their boats to travel from place to place on the ocean to trade and to collect the bounty that the ocean offers them. I guess in a way, they chose the lifestyle because titans can't swim. But still, they are free and happy with their lot in life, where we are not."

"Guess I'm not the only one who feels that way about the walls, then," Eren said after a long pause.

"No, Eren. You are not the only one," Mike agreed. "I think you will find that most scouts feel as you do. We want to leave this cage we are in and free all of humanity from it."

There was another long silence before Eren spoke up again. "You still haven't told me what Sambucan Field Liquor is."

Mike set down his beer, leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. "Sambucan Field Liquor is the sweetly perfumed nectar of the gods."

"It'll curl your hair, it's so strong!" Zoe giggled.

"That's about it in a nutshell," Levi agreed. "However, I suspect, Eren, that you would like a fuller explanation."

"Yes, sir."

"As I mentioned earlier, the Sambucans are a nomadic people that live on the eastern Steppes. They are herders; goats, sheep, cattle, alpacas, reindeer, horses."

"What are al-pac-as?" Eren interrupted.

"Hmm. Kinda like a long necked sheep . . . only softer . . . and they spit," Levi explained. "They are raised for their wool. The Sambucans are on the move constantly to make sure their herds always have fresh grazing. As for the liquor . . . well, you know how we use things like barley, oats and rye to make liquor. They don't cultivate grains the way we do. The use the wild grains that they find and gather as they travel. The liquor's flavor will be dictated by the season and the grains harvested. They mix wild honey and herbs for added flavor. Of course at first sip, you don't get that flavor because your too busy reeling from the burn of the alcohol. You don't really taste anything until after you've swallowed. One shot of Field Liquor is strong enough to equal an entire bottle of whiskey."

"Tell him how it's made!" Zoe cackled deviously.

Levi groaned. "It's disgusting."

"Go on, Levi! Tell him!"

"Yeah. I want to know!" Eren encouraged.

Levi groaned again. "Fine. They harvest and thresh the wild grains; wild rice, wild oats, wild rye and other wild grasses. Once they've done that, they boil the grains to release the sugars. Then, to kick start the fermentation process . . ."

"Yeah?"

Levi looked like he was trying not to gag. "They sit around chewing up the grains and spitting it out into a barrel to ferment." He said this a quickly as possible to get it over with before he gagged at the thought.

"Eww!" Eren reacted.

"Eeeheheheewwwww! Gross!" Zoe giggled.

"Regardless of how it is made, it is still the nectar of the gods," Mike said seriously. "It is powerful enough to take down the entire Military Police Brigade in one night!"

"What?!" Eren knew there had to be a good story behind that last statement.

"Oh, Eren. You have no idea what an impish, evil prankster your commanding officer is!" Zoe said with an eerie tone. "It all began on a night like this one . . ."

"Over dramatic," Levi muttered while Mike nodded his head in agreement.

"The three of us were at our favorite bar in Arness, having a good time and minding our own business until Commander Nile Dok walked in with two of his flunkies," Zoe continued melodramatically. "Now, making fun of Nile is always fun! And it's to freakin' easy too! Well, to get to the point, Nile was bragging about the latest batch of recruits he'd gotten in from that year's Cadet Corps, and Levi here just snorted at him and stated that he could take down the entire MP Brigade in one night by himself. Well, you can imagine that Nile didn't take to kindly to that statement and he demanded that Levi put his money where his mouth was. Keep in mind, that our favorite little captain here doesn't ever make a bet unless he is 100% sure of victory. You can imagine my surprise when he actually did take the bet. He told Nile that if his soldiers were so great, then he wouldn't give a specific date or time in which he would attack, only that it would be within the next month. Well, a couple of weeks later, the word spread like wildfire that the entire MP Brigade was down with a massive hangover!"

"What?! How?" Eren yelped.

"Everyone knows how much those lazy ass MPs like to sit around and drink," Levi stated. "It's not my fault that the dipshits will drink anything at all that's in a bottle without questioning where it came from!"

Zoe giggled again. "That's right! Mike and I watched him fill hundreds of bottles with that Sambucan Field Liquor and then place it all over in wall Sheena where the MPs were bound to find it and drink it. Even the recruits go a hold of it! By the next morning the entire Brigade was completely plastered!"

"You should have seen the sour look on Nile's face when he had to pay up on the bet," Mike added. "He still looked a little green around the gills!"

"You didn't get in trouble?" Eren asked in incredulously.

"Tch! Of course not! What was Nile gonna do? Admit to the council that all of his people have a drinking problem?" Levi answered derisively.

"Wow! I can't believe you actually did something like that!" Eren was duly impressed.

Zoe laughed. "Oh, Eren! You have no idea! Levi is a notorious prankster! You've heard of old Red Beard, right?"

"Yeah. He was the Commandant of the Cadet Corps back before Commandant Shadis," Eren replied.

"His famous red beard had a large number of white streaks in it by the time Levi graduated from the Cadets," Mike stated. "Kinda wish I hadn't graduated the same spring that he joined."

"Yeah, I wish I'd been in his class too!" Zoe agreed. "Levi is the reason the officer's food is always kept under lock and key! One time he and some of his classmates switched out all the flour for talcum powder! All the bread came out like bricks!"

"I should think the smell would have told them something was wrong," Mike grunted.

Eren looked over at Levi, whose face, even after two beers, showed no sign of emotion. Just that faint flicker in his eyes that told Eren what he was feeling at any given moment.

"He's the one who told the girls how to get even with a peeper in the showers. The peeper ended up with his eye glued to the outside wall!" Zoe was now laughing harder than ever. "Oh! And then there was the time he put green dye in the Commandant's shampoo! Even his beard was green!"

"I would really appreciate it if you would stop giving my subordinates the wrong ideas about me," Levi stated coldly.

"Wrong ideas nothing!" Mike countered. "We all know how much Commander Erwin hates having the three of us together in a meeting. I don't think he's quite recovered from the split pants incident."

"Can it, Sniffy!" Levi barked.

"Split pants incident?" Eren definitely wanted to hear this one.

"Levi had created the current design of our ODM gear, and there was a meeting with all three branch leaders to discuss the changes," Mike began.

"Don't you dare, Sniffy!"

Mike snorted at Levi and then continued. "The fat little chump giving the lecture was all thumbs and kept dropping the chalk he was using. He split his pants picking it up."

"He wasn't wearing any underwear!" Zoe giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Since the dope was a noble, it was considered 'impolite' to tell him his pants were ripped and thus embarrassing him. After a few times of bending over at us, Levi decides to speak up. He said, 'Seeing as you have an aversion to wearing undergarments, perhaps it would be wisest for you to refrain from bending over.'," Mike finally finished.

"The man turned a shade of red that I never knew was even possible for a human!" Zoe continued. "He ran out of the room with his attendants, straight out to his carriage and was never seen again! You should have seen how red Erwin turned!"

"That is the primary reason I don't have to attend most of those inane meetings," Levi said. "Not much of a punishment if you ask me."

"It's your flagrant disregard for protocol and ability to speak your mind that's gotten you in to some meetings. Premier Zackly has said so himself . . . like the one where they decided to send the refugees to 'take back wall Maria'." Mike added.

"It's by keeping our thoughts to ourselves that has gotten use into the mess we're in now," Levi stated. "I believe in speaking my mind about what's right and to hell with offending anyone."

"And that's exactly what Premier Zackly likes about you, and why you have his support," Zoe reminded.

"Wait a minute . . . You're friends with Premier Zackly?" Eren asked Levi.

"I wouldn't call him a friend," Levi replied. "More of a benefactor of sorts. I don't know what his motives are, but basically he's using me to further his goals and I'm using him to further my own goals."

"It's that very relationship you have with Zackly that kept Eren alive," Mike reminded him.

"Wait . . . What?!" Eren's green eyes widened in surprise. "You mean I'm alive now because Levi has some kind of pull with the Premier?"

Levi growled in response and the other two just looked at him. Another growl. "You might as well tell him . . . I know you're both dying to."

Zoe squeaked with delight. "Well, back about three years ago, Levi wasn't working directly with the Survey Corps, and he hadn't been for a long time. He'd been working as a bounty hunter, collecting up all the criminals that the MPs were too scared of to go after themselves. Oh, he still went out with us on every expedition and mission beyond the walls, but . . . well . . . especially after that incident with the Maria refugees, he'd made a point of staying out of the official structure of the Corps."

"Erwin had just taken over as Commander of the Survey Corps, and he had, for a long time, wanted Levi to form a squad of his own, but Levi refused. So, Commander Erwin went to Premier Zackly in hopes that he could convince Levi to return to the Corps in an official capacity as the leader of his own squad."

"The deal Premier Zackly made was that Levi would have his pick of literally all Survey Corps members and new recruits . . . even Commander Erwin himself if he so chose . . . to be in his squad. After drinking Erwin under the table –"

"Literally," Mike interjected.

Zoe scowled at the interruption. "Levi finally decided to officially return to the Corps. The contract states that Levi can take any member and recruit that is in the Corps for his squad. Basically, it means that the instant you stated that you would join the Scouts, you fell into the bounds of the contract between Zackly and Levi and that Levi was immediately able to claim you for his squad."

"So, why the court hearing?" Eren asked.

"Because the man still has to answer to the Council and the House of Peers," Levi answered. "The put the burden of proof that you could be controlled squarely on my shoulders. I had to prove that you wouldn't turn every time you got angry or hurt and that I could handle you if you did. Regardless of the contract with Zackly, the Council has the authority to override it."

"I see. But . . . why would you want someone like me on your squad? I mean, those guys are the absolute best of the best. Just because I can turn into a titan. . ."

"Don't sell yourself short, Eren," Zoe cooed. "You did graduate fifth in your class, after all."

"And you meet all of my criteria," Levi added. "You question everything about what we are told about the world we live in. You have a burning desire to eliminate the titans. You had the second highest score in hand to hand combat. A little work on anger management and focus and you'll be every bit as good, if not better than the others."

"You really think so?"

"You have a ways to go, admittedly, but yes, I know so," Levi responded. "Any soldier with the potential you have is worth the work. The fact that you can become a titan is little more than icing on the cake, as it were. Not only that, but training you to use that form to your absolute peak potential is a worthy challenge to me. We're both on a learning curve here."

Eren fell silent for a moment, thinking over what he had just learned, then, "You drank Commander Erwin under the table?"

Zoe's face lit up. "Oh! I wanna tell him this one!"

to be continued…