A/N: This is the penultimate chapter. Ever since someone who shall remain nameless started using that, I secretly wanted to use it too. Penultimate. It's such a nifty little word.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Big Time Sick

Tonight was James' viewing at the funeral home. It would be the first time that any of them got to see James since he passed away. They were just about to leave Apartment 2J when Carlos noticed that he hadn't seen Logan for awhile. The first place he thought to check was Logan's bedroom. Sure enough, there he was.

"Hey, you're not even dressed yet," Carlos noted.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go tonight," Logan responded, staring intently at the comforter on his bed.

Carlos saw right through Logan's ruse; he wasn't suddenly fascinated by his comforter; he was doing anything he could to avoid making eye contact. Carlos wasn't the most observant individual, but even he could see the anguish in Logan's eyes.

"I just can't do it, Carlos. I know tonight's not his funeral or anything, so I don't really need to be there anyways," Logan said.

Truthfully, Carlos had been looking forward to Logan going. Things between him and Kendall were still uncomfortably awkward. Neither Carlos nor Kendall even knew what to say to each other anymore. Katie and Mama Knight were Kendall's family, not his. Sure, Carlos' father was also in Los Angeles, but the father and son weren't exactly seeing eye to eye either; mostly because Officer Garcia still insisted on shipping Logan off to some psychiatric institute.

"Won't you change your mind? Please? For me?" Carlos asked.

Logan was reminded of how Carlos told him that he loved him. He wasn't certain whether Carlos was asking him to go to the viewing as a friend or…Logan actually felt bad for Carlos. Not that he believed for one second that Carlos actually did love him like that, but in the unlikely event that he did, it must suck for him; even though James was no longer with them, Logan still wasn't over him. How does one ever really truly get over a love like that?

"Well your dad's going to be there, right?" Logan replied.

There was something about the way Logan asked that made Carlos frown. It was almost like that was some sort of jabbing remark about Carlos siding with his dad over Logan when Carlos did no such thing.

"Logan, you have to know that I don't believe you tried to kill yourself. I really believe that you were just trying to save us," Carlos responded.

Logan looked up from his comforter, and flashed Carlos an appreciative smile. He kind of regretted ever doubting Carlos' loyalty.

"So will you come then? I really want you to be there. It just wouldn't be the same without you," Carlos said.

Logan sighed deeply.

"Carlos, I don't know if I can do it. Seeing him in a casket, it's just too much for me," Logan admitted, his eyes welling up with tears.

Carlos sat down next to Logan on his bed, and placed his hand over Logan's.

"Hey, no one will think any less of you if you don't show up tonight. I know I won't. You're going to go to the funeral tomorrow though, right?" Carlos asked.

Logan shrugged his shoulders.

"I can't see him like that; it makes it all so final. Besides, how do you even begin to say goodbye to someone who has been such a huge part of your life for eleven years?" Logan responded.

The tears started flowing. If there was one thing Carlos hated, it was seeing people cry; especially Logan.

"Come here," Carlos said, his arms open.

Carlos held Logan as he let his tears fall freely. Carlos himself was on the brink of tears, and Logan crying wasn't helping the least bit. Somehow though, he knew that he needed to be strong for Logan; he needed him. Carlos rested his chin on top of Logan's head, and rubbed his arms up and down in a comforting gesture.

"You don't have to do this alone, Logan. I'll be there for you. I'll always be there for you. I promise," Carlos said.

Logan nuzzled against Carlos' chest.

"You're the best, Carlitos! I don't know what I'd do without you," Logan stated.

"You don't have to worry about that, Logie. I'm never going to leave you," Carlos replied.

XXXXX

It was eerily cold in the funeral home. Other than Kendall, Carlos, Logan, Katie, Mrs. Knight, and Officer Garcia, no one else had shown up. The viewing started over a half an hour ago. Everyone except for Logan had already gone up to the open casket where James lay perfectly still.

It really wasn't all too surprising that no one else even bothered to show up. James lost a lot of fans when rumors of him being gay surfaced. Even though James had publicly denied those rumors, much to Logan's chagrin, the damage had been irreversible. Whatever fans James had left after that abandoned James when news spread of James raping Logan. It was quite tragic how none of James' so-called fans stood by him through all of this.

The doors to the funeral home opened, drawing everyone's attention. In walked Camille. Carlos had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he noticed that the first thing she did was march up to Logan and hug him.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I just finished with an audition, you see. Anyways, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Camille said, apologizing profusely.

"You're here now. That's all that matters," Logan replied meekly.

Carlos folded his arms over his chest, and shifted uncomfortably. His eyes never leaving Logan and Camille. He never did understand how Logan could have such a strong bond with Camille when they were no longer dating. Who even stays friends with their exes anyways?

Carlos flinched when someone unexpectedly put their hand on his shoulder. He wheeled around, and saw that it was Kendall.

"What do you want?" Carlos asked, his voice icy.

Kendall sighed, retracting his hand.

"So I take it you're still mad at me too?" Kendall asked.

"Funny how you saying that you would rather have had me die than James does that!" Carlos retorted bitterly.

"I never said that!"

"Maybe not in those exact words!"

Mrs. Knight and Officer Garcia raced over to their respective children. Everyone's eyes were now on the feuding Carlos and Kendall.

"What has gotten into you two? Now is neither the time nor the place for that!" Mrs. Knight reprimanded both boys.

"Carlos, apologize," Officer Garcia ordered.

Carlos scoffed.

"Yeah, okay! I'll get right on that!" Carlos sarcastically replied before falling silent.

Officer Garcia grabbed Carlos by the arm, and dragged him off to a more secluded section of the funeral home. Once they were alone, he let go of his son's arm.

"I realize you're still mad at me, but I am your father, and when I tell you to do something, you better do it!" Officer Garcia exclaimed.

"Why?" Carlos countered.

"Because I said so! That's why!"

Carlos was in full-on pout mode. His arms were folded over his chest, his head was turned away from his father. He even angled his body away from his dad.

"You better straighten up!" Officer Garcia warned.

"Do you even know why Kendall and I are fighting?" Carlos asked, still refusing to make eye contact with his father.

Officer Garcia had a startling discovery when he realized that he didn't. In hindsight, he wasn't sure why he even demanded that Carlos apologize to Kendall. Maybe it was because they were slowly but surely drifting apart, and he wanted to exert some sort of authority over him to remind him that he was still his father.

"I'll take your silence as a 'no' then," Carlos responded before continuing. "Kendall and Logan got into a fight, and Kendall said that if Logan hadn't used his liver to save me, James could still be alive. He basically said that he rather have me dead than James. Now then, do you still want me to apologize to Kendall?"

Officer Garcia was both shocked and appalled by Kendall's words. On second thought, it was definitely Kendall that needed to apologize to Carlos, not the other way around!

"That's horrible!" Officer Garcia commented.

"I know, right?" Carlos replied. "Now do you see why I don't want you to take Logan away from me? He's all I have left."

"Are you sure that's the only reason you don't want Logan taken away from you?"

Carlos turned his head back towards his father. He blinked dazedly. How could his father possibly know about that? He hadn't even told him yet! Wait. Did he know? Or was he just being paranoid?

"I saw how unhappy you were when Camille and Logan hugged back there. You're in love with Logan, aren't you?" Officer Garcia asked.

"What…you…I'm still mad at you, you know? I'm not just gonna bare my soul to you!" Carlos retorted moodily.

Officer Garcia laughed lightly as his son stalked off.

XXXXX

Everyone watched Logan with rapt attention as he drew ever nearer to James' coffin. Logan's shoulder heaved up and down as he continued to take one deep breath after another. Occasionally, he would slap himself in the face to help psyche him up. They could hear him muttering something, but no one could quite make out what it was he was saying.

Then Logan saw James.

If Logan didn't know any better, he would have guessed that James was merely sleeping. His arms were folded over his chest. Maybe it was just the makeup on his face, but it certainly looked like James was alive. Logan chuckled to himself. The only people who knew about James' male makeup were Logan, Kendall, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight. Basically, everyone who lived with James. Logan fondly remembered how they would all tease James about wearing makeup in the first place. He distinctly recalled James response too; that it was guy makeup that he was wearing, not girl makeup.

"Hey…James," Logan said, not really knowing what to say. "I'm here. I didn't know if I'd actually make it tonight, but here I be."

Logan wanted to do nothing more but reach out and touch James' hand, but the truth of the matter was that he was scared to. It wasn't because people were watching because honestly, Logan had long since forgotten about anyone else even being in the funeral home. It was just that Logan was concerned James' hand wouldn't feel, well, like James' hand, if that made sense. What if it was unnaturally cold? What if it was stiff and unyielding?

"I wish you were here, James. You have no idea how much I miss you," Logan said, stopping to wipe his tear-filled eyes with the back of his hand. "How do you expect me to just move on without you? It isn't right!"

"Logan," came James' voice.

Unlike before, it wasn't just James' voice that Logan heard. Logan saw James too. A nearly translucent version of James climbed out of the casket and stood before Logan. He reached out and held Logan's hands in his own, only Logan couldn't feel any contact made.

"J-James?" Logan asked, blinking his eyes rapidly.

"Please don't cry, Logan," Phantom James said, placing his hand against Logan's face, and brushing a tear away. Logan's face suddenly felt cold, but that was all.

This just made Logan cry all the more.

"I miss you too, baby, but we'll always be together," James said placing his hand over Logan's chest right where his heart was. "I'll always be right here in this good, kind, brave heart of yours."

"It's not the same!" Logan wailed, his knees starting to tremble and knock into one another.

James hated seeing Logan like this; so broken. What he hated more than that though was the knowledge that he was the reason Logan was like this. He would give anything to come back to the land of the living and fix Logan, but he would never get the chance. Logan could see him, and he could see Logan, but never again would they be able to kiss, touch, or hold each other.

"You have to move on, Logan. You have your whole life ahead of you. There is still so much you have left to do. You're going to accomplish great things, Logan Mitchell," James said.

"Move on? Just like that? You ask too much! It's not as simple as that! I still love you, okay? Everyone probably thinks I'm stupid because of it, especially considering what you did to me, but there it is. I. Love. You," Logan responded.

Logan sank to his knees, and suddenly became very self-conscious. He bowed his head, not wanting James to see him like this, blubbering like an idiot. His body rocked with sobs that shook him to the very core.

"I'm not asking you to stop loving me. I'm not asking you to forget about me either. But Logan, you and I can't be together anymore. I can't be there for you in the way that you need me to," James said, before shifting his gaze to Carlos. "But I think I know who can."

Something told Logan to look up, so he did. He followed James' gaze to Carlos, who had a bewildered expression on his face, his own eyes threatening to spill with tears. Logan wasn't sure if Carlos could see James like he could. This was the first time that Logan even remembered that he wasn't the only one in the funeral home.

"Carlos?" Logan asked.

Carlos stepped forward until he was kneeling beside Logan. He gathered him in his arms.

"What is it?" Carlos asked.

Logan felt absolutely awful as he wondered if Carlos had witnessed all this. He was fully aware of how Carlos felt about him, or at least how Carlos thought he felt about him. Logan also realized that Carlos had to have heard him confess to still being in love with James. That couldn't have been easy for Carlos to hear, and Logan wished he could take those words back; not because he didn't mean them, but because the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Carlos.

Logan looked back to where James had been just a moment ago only to find that James was no longer there. His eyes anxiously did a quick scan of the room, and he couldn't find James anywhere. The only James Logan could find definitely wasn't translucent, and was lying in a casket.

"I'm sorry," Logan said, never before conveying so much underlying meaning in two words as he did then and there.

Carlos' tears fell unchecked. He held Logan as the two of them cried their eyes out. Carlos hated to admit it, but maybe his father was right; maybe something really was wrong with Logan. Moments ago, he had been talking to presumably James like he was in the room with him when that couldn't be true, could it? Carlos held onto Logan even tighter. He didn't care. He didn't care if everyone thought Logan was crazy, suicidal, and beyond help. He promised Logan that he would always be there for him, and that was one promise Carlos was going to make sure he kept.

To Be Continued…