Disclaimer: Total Drama Island is copyright to Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch. Team Fortress 2 and its content is copyright the Valve corporation.
This match starts where all the action is, like any good action-oriented reality show would. Except the cameras don't start out by following the Red as they charge into the Blue base with their teeth gnarled and grit, ready for a battle to decide the next few hours of the entire war. Instead the scene begins at the empty Red base where Harold silently stalks through the corridors of his home base with his hand held tight on the grip of his sword sheathed across his back and a dagger in hand, ready to throw. He searched high and low to find nigh a sign of the enemies he knew were here. He hadn't searched in any actual high spots yet, however, because he knew that no one could go up to the upper levels with the ramparts blown to bits.
Of course, he was wrong about that.
"""
"I have a super-keen sense of tracking" Harold said. "I could doubtlessly hunt down my adversaries, no matter where they go, in real life. Unfortunately for me, in this virtual world, the essential clues for tracking are never present, even in the most obvious situations. I mean, of course, things like actual tracks."
"""
Harold stopped in the middle of the open four-way divergence where the sewer path opened from, where the thin hallway leading out into the open ramparts and the adjoining room that also led outside met and where the wide path under the square hole led to the bridge. He looked around, squinting so hard that his eyes nearly caught fire from the sheer amount of withheld tension he fostered. There was a faded trail of digital blood that stopped just short of the four-way divergence, leading Heather to be able to go and hide away in any of the four directions.
"Harold!?" Courtney called, jolting Harold out of his trance.
"Yeah?" Harold replied.
"Are you still at the base?" she asked.
"Roger" Harold replied, full of duty. He already knew where she was going to send him, so he began running.
"Guard the intel" Courtney ordered. "We may have just killed Heather but I haven't seen Izzy in a while. It's starting to bug me." A huge explosion muffled the radio with static and startled Harold yet again. Back in the Blue base Leshawna had provided Courtney's team with the first major obstacle, one which had already claimed Tyler, Geoff and Bridgette in a bloody, loud explosion of eight sticky mines that lay just around the corner leading into the main intel base from the spiral walkway. With a grin Leshawna back-peddled to reach the main room once more as she reloaded. Duncan came around with his own weapon and blew Leshawna several steps back with a well-timed explosive from his own higher-powered gun. She scattered to rise back up and ran into the main room, out of sight.
"Damn" Duncan cursed as he reloaded the shot he just used. The rest of the Red team was gathered. Eva and DJ, Courtney and Duncan were all that was left to continue the charge. That didn't seem right. Courtney reengaged her earpiece and tuned out the static that it had set itself to.
"Zeke" Courtney called, hearing a muffled amount of machinery in the background of the other end. No response. She called louder. "Zeke!"
"We're here, ma'am" Katie replied on Zeke's behalf. "The turret got shark-guts all over it."
"I'm here" Zeke said with a great strain. "I'm trying to carry the turret up the steps....it's heavy!"
"I'm not helping you" Sadie said sternly. "You need to learn what being a real man is about! Get up those steps!"
"Don't torture him" Courtney said. "If his back breaks he could die, or at least get heavily damaged, and we can't afford either to happen right now. Both of you get down here instead to join us. We need more power until Geoff, Bridgette and Tyler get back."
"Where'd they go, eh?" Zeke asked. "Potty break?" Sadie slapped him on the head and Katie chided him.
"Obviously they died!" she said. "Pay attention more often!"
"Just hurry up!" Courtney barked. She changed the channel to a private broadcast, specifically for Harold. "Harold, are you doing your job?"
"Of course I am" Harold answered. "I had a hard time getting into the battlements room without any stairs."
"Aren't you some kind of acrobat?" Duncan asked.
"A ninja" Harold corrected "is hardly a simple acrobat. A ninja is a warrior above all others, a way of life suited only for the truly powerful and purposed. A-" Courtney cut him out. Duncan snickered. A rocket blast roared at them. Eva jumped in front of it and punched the rocket away wither her bare fists. Justin was shocked. Eva was holding her ground and clutching his fists in front of her chest.
"Bring it, pretty boy!" Eva shouted, blushing slightly.
"""
"Okay" Eva admitted, "I may still be vulnerable to Justin's looks, but I can control myself a little better. I don't get all swoony and girly around him. Instead, I concentrate on turning that stupid feeling into hatred, just like Courtney does, and it works. That girl should be a counselor."
"""
Justin retreated to warn his comrades all huddled together and healing under the long-reaching beams of Noah's super-dispenser ammo distribution and healing system. The turrets acted as weaker extensions of the powerful core dispenser unit. He ran in and hid behind the desk where he had already saved his own spot.
"No one told me" Justin began "Eva could deflect rockets with her fists!"
"Can I do that too?" Owen asked, looking at his balled-up fists.
"No reason not to try" Gwen said with a shrug. "We're basically immortal in this room."
"Basically is not 'literally'" Noah said to remind them. "Just stay near the turrets or the center of the room to get healed. Even then, you're not going to out-do Eva's gun. Our main priority is keeping them away from the intel and out of the room unless they somehow build up a good enough uber charge to actually get the intel."
"Then keep them in" Gwen said.
"Hopefully" Noah continued "the turrets will still function and at least one of us will still be alive to finish them off, Heavy and Medic at once."
"That's really an ideal scenario" Cody said in a slightly argumentative tone. Noah glanced at him and saw him grin nervously and go back to swiftly cranking the buts and bolts of his turret.
"Agreed" Noah said, surprising Cody. "I guess we'll just need to be a little lucky."
"What about heather and Izzy?" Gwen asked. "What if Harold finds them over there?"
"They won't have much trouble" Noah said. "I think we should be a bit more concerned about the reinforcements en route and hope that Zeke's back actually does break."
"This doorway's set up" Leshawna said, stepping away from her handiwork of covering the inside of the doorframe with her grenades."
"I'm all aimed up" Trent said, leaning back with a leg pressed against the desk in the farthest corner that looked down the left hallway.
"Turret's ready" Cody said. He turned around and checked his dispenser as well. "Dispenser's up too."
"Owen" Noah called. He snapped his finger and pointed over to the dispenser. Owen saluted and ran over. Now he was being healed and supplied at once. Gwen went near Trent behind the desk and pulled up her sterile mask, but not before giving her sharp-shooter boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. Justin looked over his shoulder and turned forward with a disgusted defeat. Lindsay hid in the corner opposite the intel desk with Beth, both looking to the different hallways while Noah stood closer to the middle of the room than anyone. Leshawna was prepared to lure the Reds into her trap with one foot leading her body out into the right hallway.
"Alright" Noah said with a smirk. "Now we're ready..."
Izzy and Heather stalked slowly down the spiraling walkway of the Red base, facing no resistance at all, and made their way to the metal floor of the intel room. Izzy glanced from side to side madly anticipating action with her flamethrower equipped. Heather lagged behind, dragging herself along with her weapons all sheathed so she could continue with her single digit of health without falling over. She was bleeding quite steadily from her head but was able to stem the flow of blood at least slightly by wrapping her forehead with a torn strand from her dress. Blue didn't soak up red blood too well, though, and she was quickly fading.
"Wait!" Izzy commanded, holding a hand to catch Heather's head. "The intel is inside...but not much else. You need to heal if you are to return to base safely."
"Why don't you take it?" Heather said. "I can hold Harold off for...a few seconds at the most. That's enough of a head start for you to get somewhere safe, right?" Izzy couldn't believe what she was hearing. Honest suggestions from a sincere, team-based stand point coming from Heather!? She actually raised her mask up over her head and blinked at Heather, who looked dead standing, all covered in her seeping blood.
"""
"I couldn't believe it!" Izzy exclaimed. "Heather's never been nice! Maybe the voices in my head were right! Clarabelle was right all along! People can ghance! That means my second ex-stalker didn't have to kill himself after all! He could have changed!....um....Well, that's a bit depressing...but, oh well! They had brownies at his funeral, so it was all cool!"
"""
"Uh..." Izzy groaned with uncertainty. Heather snapped out of what seemed to be a tired trance and shook her head. In the near-death stupor her senses all seemed to be heightened. She could feel the cool air stinging her skin, she could hear the feint and distant whirs of mechanical joints as the cameras followed her cinematically, she could see the very metallic grains in the floor and she could smell terrible cologne. A factor that had never really been prevalent before, a scent that had long since gone unused in the smoke-and-mortar charred battlefield she fought on. Now she turned with a sharp angle, drew out her blade and blocked an invisible sweep made by Harold.
"Gah!" Harold groaned, pushing his sword through her block and pinning her blade to the wall, missing her neck. "You cheater! How'd you know I was there?"
"Anyone can tell" Heather began mockingly "when you walk into a room. Even if they were blind and deaf all they have to do is stand downwind and they'll know when you take a step in any direction!" Harold blinked at her with confusion then sniffed at his pits and blinked neutrally, trying to figure out the main problem.
"Blue Team has picked up the intelligence!" Chris announced. Izzy came bolting out with the briefcase strapped to her back and her ax brandished. Heather rolled away, stole the backpack from her very back and let Izzy replace her with a screaming charge, bearing her ax overhead and her fanged teeth glaring. Harold retreated and blocked one of her attacks. She pushed him back and kicked him to take the fight into the spiraled hallway that led up while Heather limped over to the other set of steps with the intel around her back. She couldn't cloak or don a disguise, leaving her wide open to any possible attack, but she did still have a plan.
Just as Heather made it to the peak of the stairs, not only did Izzy and Harold come tumbling down into the court yard, blows still exchanging rapidly, but Geoff and Bridgette came together from the battlements to find and terminate Heather. She hid in a blind corner, away from Geoff's vision, and hoped to wait out the worst.
"Harold, dude!" Geoff called. "You need a hand?"
"No" Harold calmly called. He caught Izzy's blade with one hand and kept it there while the animistic girl lurched in with a hissing mouth. He took his right hand back and started making signs with it, a vague and left-fielded attempt at gathering his chi using archaic and somewhat anachronistic signs with his fingers. Then he thrust it into her gut sent a wave of pain up from her stomach and through her mouth. Izzy fell to her knees and clutched her stomach, coughing out loudly while Harold stood tall with his sword drawn to the side for a neck-splitting blow.
"""
"Man!" Geoff exclaimed. "That Harold sure knows how to keep all his cards out of sight, you know? It's like he's always got more than one cat in the bag...and then when he swings the bag, full of cats..." Geoff started trying to think of something better to say, but having nothing in his mind he simply shrugged and rolled his eyes.
"""
Izzy grinned, a wild and beastly smile with flashing white eyes near the ground. She wasn't hurt at all. She hadn't even lost a single increment of health from the attack. When she heard the metal singing as it swept through the air she rolled forward, grabbed the ground with her hands and straightened her whole body in the middle of a roll, leading into a tremendous double-heeled kick to Harold's unprotected, fuzzy jaw. The fight still went on with Izzy proving to be the more fatal foe.
"Screw it, man" Geoff said, throwing his hat back to Bridgette. He aimed carefully and fired a rocket right at Izzy's feet. Even with his own quick acting he was no match for Izzy's mad reaction speed. She repelled the rocket with a blast of air from her flamethrower into the wall that Harold was flying toward, causing splash damage that propelled him away from the wall with an explosive blast.
"GAH!" Harold shouted in pain.
"Whoops!" Geoff exclaimed. "Sorry, dude!" Bridgette suddenly spied a spy making a break for it with the case on her back. She turned Geoff's head by force and gave him notice to Heather's retreat. He fired another rocket, only to get deflected into a wall by Izzy once again. The mad-powerful girl was shaking her head with a monstrous glare aimed up at the soldier. Geoff's eyes shrunk back in fear and he reeled away from the open doorway.
"""
"Wow" Bridgette wowed. "She's good. I thought she was just crazy but she's got skills to back herself up. I'm actually kind of scared that we're against her, for once."
'""
The Reds waited for the rest of their team to gather with bated breath. Courtney was jittery and nervous, her hands wouldn't stop shaking. Her excitement and tension was at a critical level. Duncan was picking his nails with his pocket knife out of boredom. Eva was getting ready to make a preemptive move, just as soon as DJ's uber was charged. Suddenly, with a static crackle, DJ gave her shoulder a pat to signal her charge. She picked up her weapon and charged through the hallway on the Blues left, the one that Trent was aiming down intently.
"Let's go!" DJ announced. Eva slammed her shoulder into the wall and began running forward with building strength and speed, glowing bright red with DJ farther behind. Trent's gun was useless against her. The first push began! Eva charged head on into the fire, pushing against the five-fold rapid turret fire and ballistic bullet storm that came her way. Leshawna ducked away and shot grenades at her feet to propel her away. Eva just hopped over the annoyances and punched them away when the situation came up. She was barely into the room and already overwhelming the Blues. Just as she cleared the doorway, running through the bullets to the intel, Noah came behind her with Lindsay and began pushing DJ away.
"Sorry man" Noah said as he piled into him. "Nothing personal!" DJ, invulnerable to all pain and impediment, just walked forward with a straight look on his stern face. Noah smirked and pushed his shotgun into his belly and started pumping shots into him. Though minor the push force was still there and he slid slowly back in his gait, distancing his effective healing beam away from Eva.
"Red Team has made the pick-up!" Chef announced loudly. Eva had the briefcase in her hand and began running with the fire with it. Now the tide of the battle had changed, and so did the Blues tactics. Now Lindsay made her move and ran behind DJ, only to sprint forward with her super-powered shoes and tackle into her, pushing her back. Eva began flickering with the warning sign of a deteriorating uber charge and desperately swung at Lindsay. She grabbed her by her blonde hair and tossed her away screaming.
"""
"Okay" Lindsay began in a hot rage, "that was not cool! Eva's a girl...ish, so she should know that you never, ever mess with another girl's hair. Even if you're at war, it's totally wrong!"
"""
Lindsay got up in a rage and charged forward, shooting her scattershot against Eva's skin and retreating before Eva could snag her again. Lindsay prepared for another charge but stepped over a Red grenade and exploded. Duncan was standing in the hall with Tyler beside him in defense, who winced over just watching Lindsay blow up. Cody tried to squeak out a warning but Duncan's expert-MVP-level demolition was too great for him to keep up with. The grenade hit the ground and spun right at him, blowing up in his face, leaving him in critical damage and his turret smoking and sparking. Duncan continue firing like that, spinning his barrel around as he launched each grenade, going just under the radar of Beth and Justin until the turret was already gone. Then he retreated, leaving Tyler in charge of controlled chaos as the turrets still focused on the newly vulnerable Eva.
"Out of my way!" Eva roared. Her back was being soaked by bullets and healed to barely keep time with her wounds. Noah managed to kill DJ with his shotgun and then turned to try and kill Eva as well. Combined with Trent's bullet and the Noah-nater system, Noah's efforts seemed useless and redundant. Eva was dead.
"The intel was dropped!" Chef announced. Courtney snuck up behind Noah, hiding behind him to stay out of the line of his turrets, and stabbed through his gut with her sword, taking him captive.
"Ahhhh, crap" Noah groaned.
"Good boy" Courtney said. "Now, walk forward slowly so I can pick up the intel."
"You'll die if I die, you know" Noah said. "Without a gun to fight with, you can't win a sniper fight." Noah ducked his head and let Trent clip through her head at the last second. Courtney, in her final motion, activated her electric-charge in her weapon and fried Noah internally, killing him. Now that the main players were defeated the Blues moved to attempt to defend the intel. Leshawna kept watching both doors for intruders from any direction. Beth and Justin aimed at the hall where the intel rested, waiting for anyone to come through it. The turrets began shooting after some quick-moving target. Owen's gatling gun followed. Tyler ran as fast as he could to scoop up the intel, bent down to grab it and then tripped over himself and died from the concentrated rocket fire.
"Close call" Leshawna said. "Alright, until the big man gets back, I'm in charge. Let's get that intel secured. Beth and Justin, keep yourselves tight. Owen, you're doing a good job. Trent, you too. Gwen, let's team up and hunt down Duncan."
"Got it" Gwen said. She started healing Leshawna and followed after her as she went through the grenade-bordered doorway, abandoning her post temporarily. Duncan was waiting just around the corner with his traps and blew her up beyond Gwen's healing abilities. Ten MVP-strength grenades. Gwen retreated with her syringe gun armed, ready to turn on a dime once the shots came out. "Incoming!" she announced.
"I got it" Trent said. He aimed at the right hallway, prepared to fire upon whoever came through. Sadie and Katie had teamed up once more, out of necessity rather than pure friendship like before their fight, and took down Beth with a surprise rocket before turning on Justin. Sadie took her raw hatred for Katie that had all welled up from their constant proximity and saw no living work of art when she saw Justin. Instead, she saw Katie, the object of her current hatred, and fired at Justin with extreme prejudice.
"Die already, DIE!" Sadie shouted.
"We aren't giving up yet!" Gwen announced. She joined in the fight, shooting her syringe gun in a short arc that led over Sadie. Duncan jumped into scene and began spiking his grenades off the ground with high powered shots. Once they got up to the ceiling he blew them up, slowly destroying the Noah-nater defense system. Once the central unit was out of the way he leaned out quickly and shot directly at the turrets. Gwen changed her target and dove out of the way as Trent finished Sadie. Katie was still there and finished Justin with a rush of syringe bullets. She grabbed the case and started to leave but was clipped by Trent, nearly dead with a shot through the neck. Lindsay went chasing after Katie while Duncan fired at and killed Trent. Gwen started shooting back but Duncan dodged into the room and drew his pocket knife just as Gwen ran out of ammo. It was a close-quarters fight now, bonesaw versus knife.
"Come on, grim!" Duncan shouted with a charge.
"Bring it, punk-poser!" Gwen roared back. They both swiped down and caught each others attacks in their hands. Gwen made a swift kick to his legs but he lifted his legs over the kick and toppled her over onto him. She lunged forward and tried to get a slice in but Duncan caught her stomach with his foot and pushed her over his head. She regained herself faster than Duncan could get up and gave him a clean, powerful slice in the back. Duncan whipped around and sliced her throat. The final blow came in. Both combatants made stabs for each other's hearts and connected the attacks. Mutual destruction, a tie.
"Red Team needs to get it together!" Chef shouted. "They dropped the intel!" Lindsay stood over Katie, panting, with her gun smoking and a splotchy webbing of blood staining her gallant gala dress. The intel was down and safe...for now.
Harold and Izzy continued their stand off while Geoff and Bridgette ran down into the sewers to pursue Heather.
"Are you sure you saw her?" Geoff asked.
"Of course I did" Bridgette defended. "Would I lie about something this important?"
"I don't know" Geoff said with a shrug. "I mean, it's a war. Your eyes could have played tricks on you, y'know."
"They didn't!" Bridgette demanded. They ran down into the waters, ran on top of them, and interrupted Heather's healing process around the corner. She turned back with a snarl and drew out her daggers, running around the corner and throwing a cluster of knives to slow down the soldier and medic. Geoff took the shots, all of them that would hit, and suffered huge wounds. Heather grabbed the health pack that just respawned, jumped over the rail and began running through the sewers and out into the open water where now two sharks were circling.
Heather stopped just short of the water's edge and saw the sharks thrashing impatiently, eager to fight and eat whoever tried to tangle with both at once. Heather snapped her fingers and made sure the intel was strapped tightly to her back. She jumped up above the water and thrust her knives into the wooden underside of the bridge, keeping herself suspended over the water. She took another dagger and another until she climbed across the underside of the bridge until she was able to grab the up-top side and climb up, just in time to be seen by an angry Eva who spun her gatling gun and fed the sharks with a lead-filled Heather. The Red intel was secured...inside a shark.
"""
"Damn her!" Heather exclaimed. "I was nearly in the clear! I was almost out of it. Those stupid sharks are seriously screwing me up!"
"""
Eva continued her charge, backed by DJ with Courtney coming soon behind them.
"At least ours is safe now" Courtney said. She pressed to her ear to try and receive a signal from her team. "Where'd the intel drop ,exactly!?"
"I know" Zeke exclaimed. "I was tracking Katie when she died on my dispenser-thingy monitor. The intel was dropped in the ramp-arts. What're those?"
"You heard him" Courtney said, breaking into a sprint. She leaped onto Eva's back and rode her up to the ledge of the Blue battlements where she latched on and pulled herself up with a grunt. "First to get the intel back to base will get a permanent positive mark on their war record."
"You keep a war record!?" DJ exclaimed in surprise.
"Every good commander has to keep track of their soldiers" she explained. She then went running off with her automatic equipped, prepared to handle any dangers that came her way. Geoff and Bridgette swam below, trying desperately to regroup while at the same time outracing the sharks that chased after them. It was pandemic panic in the middle of the warzone, demure regrouping far down below. The Blue team, still without Noah, worked desperately to regather themselves in preparation for the next powerful charge.
As for the main driving forces of power, Izzy and Harold, after much back-and-forth fighting they had finally reached a stalemate in the courtyard of the Red base. They both panted heavily, their melee weapons chipped from blocking and swinging and hitting the dirt instead of raw bone, Izzy's mask split in half and hanging by a leathery thread of its leather strap. Then, as if to reset the mood, it snapped and fell off, revealing her fiery eyes and demonic grin.
"I've been preparing for this" Harold said, lowering his guard for a moment. "Our most epic of battles. Observe, the efforts I went through to defeat you in all ways, including style!" Harold whipped off his suit and shirt, getting the shirt caught on his head and his arms but ultimately throwing it to the wind to reveal his newly tattooed back. Between his shoulder-blades there was a dragon eating its own tail in the shape of a sideways eight. "That is the mark of 'Oroboros', one who goes on forever. Izzy, unlike you, no matter how many times I fall I shall always rise up to the task of defeating you. This time, however, the dragon will descend to devour you, and you will not return!" He turned with a sudden snap of his finger and cross of his arms to see Izzy's face grinning happily and her knees bending up and down intermittently.
"Ooo!" she hooted, waving her hand up above her head. "I have one of those too! It looked awesome on paper. How does it look..." she turned around, preparing to disrobe as well, and then much to Harold's masculine excitement, she threw off her top and stripped down to her flame-patterned bra with her back turned. She wore, patterned into her skin, a field of roaring flames with lions, tigers, bears and menacing beavers wielding chainsaws and shotguns with gasmasks on. A symbol of death and merciless animosity infinitely greater than Harold's comparatively puny ink display. "...on my back, Harry?"
Harold squaked out a meager reply as Izzy turned back around, her belly and chest also marked with amazingly detailed flames all organized in the shape of a demon's gaping mouth with fangs distending down from her covered breasts and up from her belt line. She tapped her ax in her hand and adapted a stern yet entertained face once more.
"That's it?" Izzy asked. "Don't you know how to compliment a LADY!?" That dreadful roar signaled her attack. Taken aback by her 'feminine' display, Harold was at a disadvantage and failed to block the attack. He fell this time. Oroboros could not protect him from an ax to the face.
"""
"Hahaha!" Izzy laughed. "That prudent little Harry. He's never going to get used to seeing a girl's body. I wonder how he'll date? Maybe he'll just keep his relationships platonic until he's ready to see boobs or something...even then I think he'd just faint."
"""
Those...remarking words aside, the battle takes a dull break for the time being. No captures this time, but some very close calls. Can the Blues regroup in time to stop Eva and Courtney's relentless attacking? Can Harold live down the absolute embarrassment of getting owned by a shirtless girl? Who will control the match now that Noah's trusty, nigh-impenetrable wall has crumbled? Who will the next embarrassing confession be from? We will find out next time as the battle escalates, climaxing in a shocking twist for the fighters to wade through! The forecast calls for gunfire with a chance of explosion next time, on Total.
Drama.
Team Fortress!
