DISCLAIMER: OK Yahiko, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 43 without further preamble-
Chapter 43
'Killers' vs 'Bruisers' (How NOT to Play Football!) or 'Is 'Kagura' Burning?'
1. 'Call it in the air! Heads or Tails?'
The Saiyaans and Bulma were OK with the idea, having played the game before on Terra. Mar and Kome agreed readily as well. (Natch- Kome was a 'Philly Eagles' fanatic while Mar was a 'New England Patriots' nutcase!)(AN- When we wrote this little ff we had NO idea that these two NFL teams would go to the SuperBowl in 2005! Well, the 'Wizard's' (Bellicheck- Head Coach of Pats) gang, yeah but NOT the 'Flightless Birds' under Andy Reid! Live and Learn, eh?) Yuri refused to play point blank! However, most of the rest of the party were agreeable and soon two teams coached by Bulma (non-playing) and Kei (playing). Kei named her team the 'Killers' and Bulma named hers the 'Bruisers'. The members were as follows-
"Kei's Killers":QB/DT(Cpt)-Inu Yasha; DE/Kicker-Kome; DT/Punter-Kenshin; RB/DT-Sesshomaru; WR/BL(Cpt)/Linesman-Kei; Guard/DB-Jaken; Tackle/DT-Jamie; WR/DE-Marlene; Guard/CB-Genie; Center/CB/Snapper-Kouga; TE/FS-Kagome; WR/SS-Leila (All players are playing offense and defense).
"Bulma's Bruisers":QB(Cpt)/DT-Vegeeta; Kicker/DB(Cpt)-Goku; Punter/DT-Naraku; WR/DT-Orphen; WR/BL/DE-Sango; Guard/DE-Junpei; Tackle/CB-Kikyo; WR/CB-Melissa; Guard/SS-Miroku; Center/FS/Snapper-Merrill(the thief er treasure hunter); TE/Linesman-Louie; RB/Linesman-Shippou; Tackle/Linesman-Yahiko
The three timelords, Yuri, Cleo and Odo were the referees. 'The Master', claiming to have the most knowledge of the game, was the head ref. After a coin toss (heads-Kei; tails-Bulma) which was won by Bulma when tails came up, it was decided that the 'Bruisers' would receive to start the game meaning (natch) that the 'Killers' would receive to begin the second half.
FIRST QUARTER
Kome kicked off deep to Shippou who watched the ball sail over his head and into the end zone for a touchback bringing the ball out to the 20 meter line to start play. 'The Master' placed the ball on the 'Bruisers's' 20, stepped away and blew his whistle to start play. Merrill snapped to Vegeeta who received the ball before stepping quickly backwards and upwards (Saiyaans can fly you know!) while Sango cut left and Melissa sped right. Kei shadowed Sango while Kouga covered Melissa. Shippou had scooted past everyone and was wildly waving to the Prince of Saiyaan from the 'Killers's' end zone to show he was open. Vegeeta fired a rocket across the field (intended for Melissa) and right into the waiting hands of Kouga who had read the QB's intentions perfectly and intercepted the ball. However, the impact momentum of Vegeeta's pass knocked the wolf down at the 'Killer's' 20. Since he was not down by contact, the wolf youkai leaped up and ran for the end zone before being tackled by Goku at the 2 meter line. A 15 meter penalty assessed against Vegeeta for being the first to touch the ball after leaving the field (he flew up and came back down-remember?) resulted in a half the distance to the goal penalty and the ball was moved to the one meter hash marks. "First and goal." said 'The Master' and play resumed. Kouga snapped to Inu Yasha who handed off to his brother, Sesshomaru and blocked Goku and Vegeeta from the line of scrimmage. Sesshomaru saw a hole in the defense and dove through it and into the end zone. 'The Master' raised both hands high and yelled "Touchdown." Kome kicked the extra point and the 'Killers' had drawn first blood and were ahead 7 to nothing.
Kome kicked off and the ball had gone only 30 meters before Goku (using his Saiyaan instant transmission) suddenly materialized and snagged it. Odo threw a yellow flag at his feet. He was penalized 15 meters for the same infraction as Vegeeta had gotten caught on earlier. The result- rekick. Bulma was furious! First her husband and now this twit! She stormed onto the field and dragged Goku off by his ear. Kome had better luck this time kicking off to Merrill who fielded it at the 'Bruiser's' 15 meter mark and raced to the 21 where Kaoru brought her down with a flying tackle. Bulma's team lined up quickly. Merrill snapped to Vegeeta who faked a handoff to Shippou. Then he backpedaled fast and fired an 80 meter bomb across the field to the left hand endzone of the 'Killers's'. It was caught cleanly by Sango who fell backwards into the endzone with it. Cleo screamed "Touchdown!" and raised her hands. Score: 7 to 6.
Bulma dashed to catch her husband as he was walking off the field and whispered "We're going for two! Fake a handoff and Goku will block. Then sneak the ball into the end zone. Don't screw it up, dummy!" Vegeeta colored and replied "Woman, do you think that I cannot comprehend this trivial Earth game of yours?" Bulma grimaced. "Oh, you comprehend it OK but I want us to win so don't do anything stupid!" she said. They lined up on the Killers' two meter line and Vegeeta faked a handoff to Goku who didn't realize it was a fake so he yanked the ball away from Vegeeta and dropped it! That botched the conversion attempt and ended the first quarter to boot. Score: Kei's Killers- 7/ Bulma's Bruisers- 6.
SECOND QUARTER
Goku kicked off to the Killers. The ball sailed to the killers' 4 meter line where it was fielded by the hanyou. Inu Yasha broke into a fast leaping trot, well protected by his blockers, Kouga and Genie. 96 meters later with the Bruisers' far outdistanced, the trio barrelled into the end zone, Inu Yasha and Kouga crashing into the rear wall behind the goal posts. "You can stop running once you cross into the end zone, stupid!" yelled Genie at the semi-conscious dog and wolf. Yuri's hands were raised high as she squealed "Touchdown!" Kei thumped the hanyou on the back and said "Great, Inu Yasha! Now, we're going for two. If we make it, Bulma's team will have to score twice to catch us. If we don't we're still up by a score. This will be a 'bootleg'. Fake to your brother. Then drop back a step or two and throw it to either Mar, Leila or me, whichever one of us is open, OK?" He nodded. "Sheesh, Kei! Kagome said this game was hard! It's too dam easy!" Kei grabbed him and whispered firecely "It's that kind of attitude that loses games! Never underestimate your opponent. Now let's do it!" The Killers lined up quickly. Kouga snapped to Inu Yasha who faked to Sesshomaru who broke for the goal line. The defense bit, covering the youkai and sending only Shippou into the end zone to cover the wideouts. The result was that all three of them were open and leaping up and down. The hanyou hesitated and then leaped over the middle of the defensive line and into the back of the end zone! Odo said "Extra two points good." and raised his hands. This made the score 15 to 6 and enraged the aoishi-haired vixen into a fury! "Now we need a Kami shimatta touchdown AND a field goal to take the lead!" she ranted.
Kome counted quickly to be sure that only eleven players were on the field for the kickoff. Then she booted it high and long , straight down the middle of the field directly at little Shippou. Seeing it coming right at him, he ducked! Jamie was the first one to reach that end of the field and dove on it at the Bruisers' one meter line! That meant that Bulma's team had to go the entire length of the field to score- 99 meters! Vegeeta conferred with his wife before ambling back out to the huddle.
"Look, morons, we're going to try something different this time. 'She who must be obeyed' has said that I am to hand off to Goku. Meanwhile, Sango, melissa and that fox kid thing (Shippou) will go deep. Goku will throw to whoever's open and Kakkaroth, you have to be behind the line we start from so you'll be in the end zone! Bulma said that if they knock you down in there while you've got the ball, they get two more points (a safety) so watch it! OK? Let's go!" Vegeeta's offense lined up quickly and Kei nudged Inu Yasha. "Watch out for the option! Vegeeta will hand off to someone who will become the quarterback for this play and throw deep! Try to catch him in the end zone and floor him before he can throw. Pass it on." Merrill snapped to Vegeeta who lateraled to Goku who dropped back into the end zone. Kaoru, Jamie and Genie ignored the three receivers downfield and who were covered by Jaken, Leila and kagome. Instead they broke through the offensive line and into the end zone, diving for Goku. "Throw the dam ball, stupid!" yelled Bulma from the sidelines. Goku threw but Jamie batted the ball out of the air and into Genie's hands who caught it and then spiked the ball for another Killers' touchdown! Doctor 2 beamed and raised his hands. Goku trotted over to Bulma and said "Gomen (Sorry), Bulma. Another two points?" Bulma rankled. "Nai, you Saiyaan simpleton! Six! You coughed up the dam ball in our end zone and they recovered it. That a touchdown!" Kome trotted onto the field. Kouga hiked to Kenshin who held the ball while Kome kicked it through the uprights for the extra point. The score changed to 22 to 6 but still in the Killers' favor. Bulma snagged Goku.
"Listen, they've been putting that toad demon thing (Jaken) out there with special teams. Kick it to him and we'll pin them deep." Goku kicked a beauty to jaken at the Killers' 5 but he lateraled it to the wolf youkai (Kouga) who took off down the field as if he'd been wearing the 'Winged sandals of Mercury' on his feet! This time Kei and inu Yasha did the blocking and Kouga rushed over the goal line for the Killers' second kickoff return touchdown! Kei turned to the hanyou. "We'll let Kome kick the extra point again this time, right?" Inu Yasha nodded, loping towards the table where the green drinks (sodium high energy drinks) were waiting in paper cups. Kouga hiked to Kenshin who spun the ball and held it for Kome who easily booted the extra pont. The new score was now incredibly 29 to 6 and Bulma was going ballistic!
"Three minutes are left in the half. Now look guys! If we want to score we're going to have to use the clock. Vegeeta, if nobody's open run downfield with the ball but watch the time! If you have to, run out of bounds and stop the clock. Goku, Sango, Melissa, Louie and Shippou- you guys will 'jailbreak' downfield fast! Vegeeta will throw to one of you. At the two minute warning, the clock will stop automatically for a timeout. We only have two of our own left, thanks to Naraku! When you made your secret 'I love you' sign to Kikyo, you signaled a timeout, dummy! And Goku, if we have to, I want you to try for a field goal. Louie, you and Sango will be the returnmen for kome's kickoff. Don't waste time. If the ball goes into the end zone, it's a touchback and we get the ball back on our own 20 to start. Let's go people!" said Bulma.
Kome didn't quite catch the ball cleanly off the tee but the kick went high and straight. Louie waved off sango and fielded it at the 10 of the Bruisers. Sango, Kikyo and Merrill blocked while louie took off down the suddenly open field. At the Bruisers' 46, the 'Inu Yasha Connection' landed on the stunned sorcerer! So hard did Inu Yasha, Kouga, Sesshomaru and Kagome hit him that the ball was fumbled loose and snatched away by Kagome. Cleo grabbed it away from her and placed it on the Bruisers' 46 meter line. "Runner was already down by contact when ball was fumbled loose. Ground cannot cause a fumble. Still receiving team's ball. First and ten!" she yelled. Vegeeta's offense was already lining up. Merrill snapped to Vegeeta and took down Jaken while Jamie easily handled Naraku, Kikyo and Yahiko. Sango broke right covered by Genie. Melissa broke left with kaoru close behind her and Louie ran center, Kei matching him stride for stride. Vegeeta took Merrill's snap, stutter stepped back and began to race around the backfield waiting for an opening to develop. Finally, the clock down to 1:15, he threw left to Melissa but Kaoru knocked it away at the very last second. Meanwhile, there was a flag in the backfield. Goku was holding Inu Yasha. "Ten meter penalty for holding. Still first down." said Oddo, holding his left wrist with his right hand.
Bulma fumed and accidentally kicked Saitoh who had been deputized to babysit Ed, Rin and the 'Sailor Moon' crowd. "Hey! Watch it, bimbo!" growled the former leader of the third squad of the Shinsengumi. "Sorry." said Bulma. Now her team was backed up to its own 36 with 1:10 on the clock. They ran the same play but this time the pass was to Sango who caught it at the Killers' 47 and and ran to the 42 before Kei brought her down hard! A first down by two meters. Time left- 1:03and Bulma signaled for a timeout but Vegeeta thought she was waving to him so he waved back. Melissa, though, made the 'T' sign and the clock stopped at the 53 second mark. "OK, we can stop the clock once more and that's it! Goku, if we don't advance any farther, it will be a 58 meter try so be ready to kick. Three more passes and then a timeout for the field goal, OK? Go!" Bulma watched them all run out onto the field. Fuming, she stuck her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. After three more botched tries, Merrill called their last timeout and the field goal unit trotted out. Merrill hiked to Naraku, who stood up while Goku blocked for him and tossed a bomb to Louie who was deep in the end zone, loosely covered by Genie. Louie snagged he ball and spiked it. Yuri crowed "Touchdown! Yay!" and raised both hands. Kei just looked at her in disgust. Goku kicked the extra point and the score changed to 29-13 but still in the Killers' favor.
Time left was 16 ticks of the clock and the Killers still had all three of their timeouts left. Goku booted to Jaken who caught the ball and fielded it to Kouga. Inu Yasha and sesshomaru blocked as the wolf took off, leaving all the Bruisers in the dust! No one came close to catching him, not even Goku! Kouga scored easily and 'The Master' raised his hands. Kome booted the point after and Keitarou fired his gun to end the first half. Score: 36-13 Kei's Killers over Bulma's Bruisers!
THIRD QUARTER
Since Bulma's team had gotten the ball to start the first half, Kei's team would get it to start out the second. Goku played it safe (or so he thought) and kicked off to Jaken who caught the ball after leaping straight up in the air a good ten meters! He had grabbed it at midfield and sprinted into enemy territory downfield until Goku brought him down just shy of the Bruisers' 9 meter line! "First and goal from the nine." intoned Doctor 4. Inu Yasha took Kouga's snap and lateraled to Kei on the eleven. She sent a rocket pass left to Leila in the end zone who jumped to avoid Naraku and caught it for another touchdown! Kome's extra point was good and it was 43-13 with guess who leading! Kome kicked off and the ball sailed into the end zone for a touchback. Starting from his own 20, Vegeeta handed off to Shippou who scooted to the Bruisers' 40 before being tackled by Sesshomaru with an ankle grab takedown. On the next play, Vegeeta passed to Sango at midfield. She caught the pass and ran to the Killers' 36 where Leila and kaoru double teamed her for a takedown. Sango just about managed to hold onto the ball! Then Vegeeta faked to Sango, dropped back and passed high and left across the field to a wide open Goku for a touchdown in the Killers' end zone! A two point conversion was tried with Vegeeta doing a quarterback sneak from the two. He barrelled into the end zone, dragging the hanyou and two youkais (Inu Yasha, Sesshomaru and Kouga) with him! The score climbed 43-21 but with the Killers still in the lead. Bulma almost trod on Serena's foot in an ectasy of sheer joy! "Goku, onside kick to Sango. Ball's got to go at least ten meters, OK?" she whispered to the Saiyaan. Goku ran out and tapped a 20 meter kick right into Sango's mitts at the Killers' own 48! "Tighten the line. He's going to go deep." whispered Kei to her defensive huddle.
Vegeeta handed off to Louie who passed to the demon slayer at the Killers' 26. Sango fielded the ball and took off downfield to the Killers' 15 wher Kouga forced her out of bounds. After three passes into the end zone (all dropped by Goku) the fild goal unit came on to attempt a 31 meter kick. Merrill hiked to Naraku who held for Goku. The big Saiyaan easily booted the ball over the uprights for three points. The score was now 43-24 but still in the other team's favor. Goku kicked off deep to Sesshomaru who caught the ball at his own 15. Inu yasha took Kouga's snap and handed off to Jaken who raced downfield to the Killers' 40 before being tackled by Sango. On the next down, Inu Yasha tossed a screen pass to Marlene who was suddenly surrounded and engulfed by a six meter high wall of flame!
"Cool! Where did you learn to do that?" cried Kagome. Startled, Mar yelled back "You mean you or Kikyo or Naraku didn't do this, Kagome!" and fumbled the ball whichwas scoopedup my Miroku. The monk was promptly tackled by Kouga at the Killers' 38. Kei called for a timeout (their first), raced across the field to Marlene and ran smack dab into a 15 year old human female with long brown hair done up in some weird kind of pigtails! She was wearing an outlandishly old-fashioned long black dress and an even longer black coat which dragged on the ground! On her aizu she wore old-fashioned half lensed, horn-rimmed spectacles! "Give us the witch and we will not harm you." she said quietly but sternly staring directly into Kei's green orbs.
END of Chapter 43. Please r/r. Chapter 44 'Bulma's Dilemna' or 'Demon Hunting Was Never Like This!' coming soon. Thanks for your interest-KK
