I don't own Phineas and Ferb or anything else or crap. This story is for comedic purposes only and isn't to be taken seriously in anyway. This story follows my 'The Meeting' Series, that includes: The Meeting, Kidnapping, The Talk, Hi, How are You?, In One Dimension, Along vs Along, Friendly Game, Traditions, Happy Halloween!, This is a Backstory, Beyond This, What Have You Done?, and Death In a Cyborg.

I really don't know how all of this started with a meeting.

~Natty


Babies.

Platyborg lay on the couch in the living room, the really nice and comfy red one. He was under a soft knitted and pink quilt, and his head was on a soft pillow. Normally he was happy when he had the privilege to sleep on the couch. It was the softest couch in the entire Tri State Area! It was so fluffy and silky and relaxing! But right now the cyborg was everything BUT relaxed. He was stressed, and sad, and horribly guilty. He couldn't keep still, he was too worked up.

Someone walked in, and the cyborg stayed quiet, peaking with his one squinted eye. He watched the person silently reach to shut out the tableside lamp.

"Doof…"

Alt. Doof turned to the staring eye, retracting his hand from the light. He sat on the edge of the couch, looking. "I thought you were asleep. You have school tomorrow. Why are you still awake?"

The cyborg looked sad and spoke timidly. "W-what happened earlier today- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"I know you didn't."

"You do?"

The renewed dictator nodded .

"Is Ege still mad at me?" Platyborg asked.

Doofenshmirtz said, "She isn't. I talked to her. She didn't mean what she said, she was just worried, that's all. "

"Is Canny doing okay now?"

"Canny is fine. I know you didn't mean to hurt the baby."

"Is Canny mad at me?"

"Of course not. Why would Canny be mad at you?"

"Because I hurt Canny…" The cyborg admitted.

"No one is mad at you."

"Why did Canny turn red?"

Alt. Doof tried his best to answer. "When babies cry, they sometimes turn red from the strain of crying so much."

"Doof, why do babies cry?"

"Babies cry for a lot of different reasons. I couldn't list them all right off the bat."

"Am I a bad brother Doof?"

"Of course not. Is Vanessa a bad sister to you?"

Platyborg cried in horror "MOTHER OF GOD, I'M LIKE HER?!"

Kool Aid Man.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU'RE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH BLOOD!" Platyborg screamed.

"OH YEAH!"

Superman.

Ege didn't open her eyes. She couldn't until she was on the ground again. This was crazy. Why was her boyfriend such a lab rat?!

"I don't get why you allow him to turn you into a freaky mutation! Is it even worth it?"

"It is if you could see your face right now." Alt Doof said and she tried to kick out of his arms "I wouldn't do that. We're pretty high. If you fall I really couldn't do anything about it." He said as he kept climbing with one hand while holding her with the other. He didn't get why she had her eyes closed. Heights weren't that bad.

"You wouldn't jump after me?"

"Hell no! So we could both die? No thanks! I have shit to do later…"

This angered her and she fought against his grasp. "Put me down! I'm done with this stupid exercise! Screw Rodney and his climbing the building routine!"

Alt Doof allowed her to get free and sit on a ledge while he looked down. He knew that was usually something that shouldn't be done, but it didn't bother him. He liked seeing the distance between him and the others. It symbolized his life in a way. Isolation, differences, hatred… It all mixed together to make him what he is. But sometimes he wished he was who he wasn't. If that could make sense.

She opened her eyes and wasn't expecting what she saw or felt. Their task was to climb the company building, NOT the mountain behind it and definitely not to the very top! She clutched the grass underneath her and screamed in fright. She hated heights! "What are we doing up here?! He told us to climb the building! Not the world! How did you take me all the way up here? And without me knowing?!"

"You're the one who closed you're eyes. I just decided to take a little detour. That's all." Alt Doof said and walked away from the ledge. He took a lighter from his pocket and a rolled orange and white tube of paper…

"I thought I told you to quit that!"

"You did. But that didn't mean that I had to listen to you."

"I don't need you killing yourself before someone else had a chance to."

"Like you?" Alt Doof scoffed and walked back towards the edge, lighting up what he had and smoking it anyway.

"I told you I'd never hurt you-"

"That doesn't mean you have to keep your word."

"I sleep with you all the time." Ege looked at him skeptically. "You can't trust me?"

"I don't know. Can I?"

"I hate it when you do this, Heinz! And get away from that ledge before you fall off the edge of it!"

Alt Doof thought to himself "Why? Does this scare you?" He asked and stepped closer.

Ege felt an urgency build, a saddening fear as everything in her tightened. She knew that he only listened when someone made him. "Get the hell away from the-! Stop, damnit!"

Alt Doof smirked and pretended to wobble over the edge. He laughed at her scared gasp and when she covered her eyes he stopped playing, realizing how scared she actually was to lose him if he really did fall. He frowned at her soft crying. Was he really such a jerk? "Ege…Ege, I'm so-" He lost his footing and slipped, he screamed as he felt himself going backwards. He closed his eye and after a second everything stopped and he was no longer falling. He was pulled forward where he fell into the grass, breathing heavy and shaking. He looked up at her, now she was standing over him. "Ege-"

"You're MY idiot. Don't you ever forget that."

"I- I'm-" It took a while for his heart to stop beating like a teenage boy. "I'm so-"

"Yeah, yeah, now take me down!"

And as he climbed down the mountain cliff with her clinging on to him, her eyes closed, he embedded this moment in his heart forever. Someone finally didn't want him to die, someone actually cared for him like a human, like someone capable of loving back in twice as much an amount…

Too bad he was none of those things, and he'd never be able to return anything to her. He could only hope that his heart would grow.

But as he stepped down to another ledge, down the way, he didn't know, that his feelings grew a little more that day…

Ponies.

"FRIENDSHIP ISNT MAGIC! …MAGICAL LEPRECHAUNS ARE!"

"Platyborg, you get off of the television, right now!"

"TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS!"

Internet.

Platyborg stared at the screen, not blinking as he occasionally clicked on the mouse.

"I think he's dead dad." Vanessa told him.

Alt Doof wasn't convinced of that, not yet anyway. He snapped his fingers in front of the cyborg's face. Then played a tuba and sang what usually gets stupid children's attention, Disney Channel music from new shows that don't make any sense. Finally the dictator gave up. "Maybe he IS dead."

Suddenly Platyborg was at full attention, turning to his family in a way that scared them deeply. "Did someone say Shake It Up?"

Hot Sauce.

"AAH! MY EYES!"

Vanessa blinked at the screaming cyborg, and then picked up the red bottle on the table. "Platyborg, this is ketchup."

"IT TASTES LIKE DEATH!"

Bell.

Platyborg smiled as he watched the newlywed couple dance in the middle of the floor, church bells ringing and music playing elegantly as the bride and groom danced. And, the cyborg had to admit that Doof looked real good in a suit.

Vanessa sighed happily, in her bridesmaids dress, red, matching the tie on the cyborg's custom made suit. "They look so perfect together…but don't you think her stomach is showing just a little bit?"

"The baby?" The cyborg asked, as the dim lights got dimmer around them. "Why does that matter? And how come we can't tell anyone?"

"Because tradition states that you're supposed to wait until you're married."

"Wait until you're married for what?"

Vanessa blushed. "Well…um..."

"And how come a package came in the mail today for edible underwear, what does edible mean, Vanessa?"

Vanessa sighed and picked up a cup from a caterer. "It means that there are going to be more of us, very, very soon, and that I need to move before we're overrun by another little thing running around and breaking my things like you do." And she took a long sip before it forcefully went flying from her lips at the statement below.

"I found a toy in your bathroom."

Sugar.

To Platyborg, sugar was like snow, and having snow was pretty sweet so it was like sugar. Sugar wasn't salty like salt, but it was white too. He sometimes got it confused, so maybe that was why the potatoes were too sweet and the wedding cake was too salty, or maybe it was the other way around, were the potatoes too salty and the cake too sweet? People were throwing up and falling down. But then again, rat poison was white too, and he didn't know what that tasted like…

…He really needed to stop buying things from that talking zebra.

Crudcrudcrudcrudcruuuuuuuuuud!

"CRAP!"

"Platyborg, watch your mouth. You're at a table." Ege told him and he nodded, biting his lip and watching his family continue eating. He gritted his teeth inside of his mouth, clasping it shut with his hand so another outburst wouldn't occur. So he muttered quietly to himself in the silence.

"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap…"

Vanessa got her dad's attention and pointed at the cyborg from across the table. The machine's face was red, and there was visibly something wrong with it.

Alt Doof watched him curiously. "Are you alright Platyborg?"

Platyborg couldn't take it anymore, and blurted. "May I be excused?!"

"Of course."

"Crap! Thank you!" The cyborg cried and ran away from the dining table.

"What's the matter with him?" Alt Doof asked,

Vanessa laughed. "He has to-"

"-CRAP! I MISSED!"

Vandal.

"Hold it right there!" Mr. Officer Policeman Guy ordered, a toothpick between his teeth below his mustache as he stared at the contraption through his glasses.

Platyborg blinked, looking up from his paper in front of him on the sidewalk. "Hi."

"I said hold it right there, you little vandal!"

"Vandal?" The cyborg tilted his head.

"You think you can graffiti my town, do ya? Well not today you're not! Not while I'm on the job!"

"Graffiti?" Platyborg questioned and held up his poorly drawn picture of a horse. His crayons lay on the ground in front of his crisscross legs.

"And a litterbug too?" Mr. Officer Policeman Guy said, gesturing to the scattered art supplies. "A graffiti artist AND a litterer? That's two strikes right there! One more and you're out, sunny boy!"

"But I didn't hurt the sun!" Platyborg pleaded, and pointed. "It's fine! It's up there!"

"And now you're accusing Mother Nature for your crimes?! You're coming with me now, little man!"

"We're called little people, and Doof told me I couldn't leave from in front of the building."

"What building?"

"This one." Platyborg pointed behind him at the overly large purple and pink ominous looking building towering in the forever pink sky and purple clouds and the ring of Normbots flying around it blankly. And then the jingle randomly played along with lightning.

'Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeeeeed!' Then the singers added 'Kind of creeeepy…'

Mr. Officer Policeman Guy blinked, pushing up his hat in order to be able to see more above him. "Well that is quite a building there, a little bit creepy, if I may add."

Platyborg shrugged. "Eh, you get used to it…"

Moon.

"AGH! FULL MOON!"

"Well no one told you to come in without knocking, Platyborg!" Doofenshmirtz fussed as he roughly tied the robe shut around himself.

"What? No. I was talking about that." Platyborg corrected, pointing out the window to the big round white orb in the sky that lit like the accompanying stars. "I've seen you naked a BUNCH of times. It doesn't bother me anymore."

The dictator rolled his eye, and walked over to look out the window beside the cyborg. "Well, It is pretty, isn't it?"

"Doof, how come the sky isn't blue anymore? How come its pink and red all the time?"

"Well…I might be at fault for that." Alt Doof admitted. "I thought global warming was for idiots and I…didn't pay attention to the CO2 outtake that the factories were letting off and…well…pink happened."

"Why do things change, Doof?"

"No one really knows WHY things change, it just…happens…"

Platyborg nodded and looked out at the sky again. "Does everything change?"

"Eventually, I guess-"

"Did you change?"

Alt Doof watched the cyborg look ahead, and the dictator grasped his own hand, pulling up the glove to look at the scarring. "Yes…at one point…I did."

"Do you like what you are now?"

"I…I'm not quite sure." Alt Doof admitted.

And silence arose between them once more

"Will I change, Doof?"

The dictator stayed silent.

"Doof?"

And nothing else was said between them as they looked out and into the future.