Lord Drake Misadventures 54
By: Vyce Dryke, 2009

On The Dragon's Haste...

Dragonspit: My Lord! We have a problem!

Lord Drake snarls, turning from his nice view of the bridge's viewscreen, which for some reason has Abbadon's Black Crusade, Live! on it.

Drake: This better be important, I'm watching Abbadon's latest failure, who says the last few Black Crusades we did didn't count.
Dragonspit: That's funny my Lord. However there is an urgent problem. The Black Dragons have found us! Their battle barge is here, and I think their entire fleet.
Drake: Great Lords of Chaos! Their entire fleet? Sound the alarms! Everyone to their battle stations..

Klaxons whirr, the bridge glows red, clowns run around the bridge, only to be cleaved in half by Dragonspit. Various cultists are possessed by Daemons, and all Lord Drake does is sip on a milkshake. The Chaos Dragon arrives on the bridge first, grumbling, followed by Tlanexitc.

Vyce: I was busy dreaming... This better be important.
Tlanextic: And I was busy sacrificing someone to Tzeentch to ensure that Drake doesn't cause my end by dying on me.
Drake: Yeah yeah. Well the Black Dragons are here.
Vyce: So?
Tlanextic: Last I checked they're rather incompetent.
Drake: They're our sworn Nemesis!
Vyce: Wake me up when the Templar Blades show up with THEIR entire fleet. Then I'll panic about our 'sworn' Nemesis.
Rhuemwight: My Lord.. They seem to be trying to... contact us?
Drake: On screen...

The viewscreen on the bridge of the Dragon's Haste hisses as it changes siognals from Abbadon's show to a view of a Black Dreadnought, a dragon icon painted on it's front.

Drake: What the blazes?
Dreadnought: Billy Mays here! With the Black Dragons Space Marine chapter. And we have a deal for you! Hee hee!

Tlanextic groans and palmfaces.

Rhuemwight: I'm sorry my Lord, I think that was the wrong signal.
Drake: you idiot! Get the RIGHT signal.
Dreadnought: I'm here to offer you a lifetime of slaughter. That's right, a lifetime! Be able to find you enemies, maim them, burn them, kill them, all with a simple machine. But act now an-

Ezra's ugly mug quickly replaces the strange Dreadnought.

Drake: Captain Ezra..
Ezra: That's Chapter Master Ezra to you Lord Drake.
Drake: Oh. You've gotten a promotion.
Ezra: Not by choice.. The Chapter Master well.. eliminated in battle.
Drake: Coincidence I'm sure. Why are you here?
Ezra: We are.. *sighs* We're here to join you..

There is shocked silence, which is broken by Vyce sneezing and a few scales falling off, which causes him to blink and inspect them. Ezra blinks on the screen and Drake laughs.

Drake: I win.
Ezra: Dammit! You do that every time.
Tlanextic: Wait. Did I hear that right?
Drake: So you finally admit the Inquisition was out to get us?
Ezra: We-
Tlanextic: Can you excuse us for a moment?
Ezra: Of course..

Vyce, Lord Drake, and Tlanextic huddle. Ezra, still on screen, arches an eyebrow.

Tlanextic: I don't like this.
Vyce: I'm suspicious..
Drake: Oh please, I saw this coming, he finally crawled back to us and admitted I was right all along.
Vyce: Please. He's a Space Marine, they're all the same. God-Emperor this, God-Emperor that.
Tlanextic: Not to mention he proved difficult to convert...
Drake: Nonsense. He's here to grovel and beg for forgiveness and then join us against the Inquisition.
Vyce and Tlanextic: Bu-
Drake: No buts.

Drake very quickly breaks away, to the dismay of the Dragon and the Sorceror.

Drake: We accept.
Ezra: I see...
Drake: Excellent. I'll meet you and your Senior Officers on the docking bay...
Ezra: By your command...
Drake: Good. Welcome to the legion...

Drake cuts the signal, Rhuemwight shudders, Vyce shakes his head and snorts, and Tlanextic furiously glares at Lord Drake.

Tlanextic: I recommend destroying them! I don't trust them one bit.
Vyce: I don't either bu-
Drake: Nope. Quiet, it's time for mt sp-
Icil: Girl scout cookies!
Drake: Khorne's Gravy Train. HERESY!

Vyce shrugs, and take some from Icil, nibbling on it.

Vyce: That's some delicious heresy.
Tlanextic: Unfortunately I have to agree. No wonder the Emperor likes them so much.

Lord Drake grins, and leaves the bridge, leaning over to Icil and whispering.

Drake: Thank you my dear...
Icil: Anytime Sir. Hurry up and get down there.

The Chaos Lord nods, and quickly exits the bridge while Vyce and Tlanexitc are busy. He eventually ends up in the docking bay, flanked by Dragonspit and Rhuemwight, both with hands tight around their weapons. Ezra steps onto the dockng bay, his strike cruiser very obvious in the background just outside the docking bay. Two Space Marines were at his sides, Failther and Asad, the both of them giving Drake and Dragonspit venomous looks.

Failther: Well well..
Asad: If it isn't Drake and Nyte.
Dragonspit: Dont' call me that name..
Asad: After we had to destroy Ildstor for nearly becoming a traitor, the two of you escaped out grasp.
Drake: Shhh! Your spoiling the plot for Paint It Black.
Ezra: This entire series is technically a spoiler for Paint it Black. You fall to Chaos, Dragonspit goes with. Tlanextic has revealed being a failure and bound to you like a Daemon and Tlanextic trapped the Chaos Dragon for reasons unknown until you set him free.
Drake: Wow. Your more aware of events than I am.
Ezra: I check for Misadventures updates daily. Vyce needs to update more.
Drake: Shh. You'll bring him down here.
Failther: So why the secrecy from your peers?
Drake: I mean to destroy the both of them, or at least detain them. As apparently if I die he dies and vice versa. And then I'll has mastery over the entire legion.
Dragonspit: Shouldn't you not be revealing your weaknesses to your enemies?
Drake: They're not our enemies anymore.
Dragonspit: Hm.. If you say so.
Ezra: So why need us?
Drake: I'm not sure who is loyal to whom in my Legion. the Chaos Dragon has a following and personal subjects and allies, and so does the Sorcerer.
Failther: Are you sure you should be trusting us so soon?
Ezra: Shush!
Drake: Oh no.. You see.. Your not in the Legion yet.. Induction occurs on Draconis.

Ezra jawdrops.

Ezra: Your personal Daemonworld?
Asad: Knowing the location would be.. advantageous.
Dragonspit: Why?
Ezra: So we can get to it for induction of course!
Drake: Of course! Come. You need to see it, don't you.
Dragonspit: My Lor-
Drake: Not now. I'm busy. Ezra, signal your fleet to follow. We're going into the warp.

Ezra nods.

Ezra: Prepare the warp drives for my arrival...
Drake: No. We're going. Now.
Ezra: Now?
Drake: Now!

Suddenly, sirens go off, the docking bay door slams shut and the ship translates into Warp Space, with Lord Drake cackling. Bloodletters appear on the docking bay, and quickly disarm the Black Dragons.

Drake: You see my friends.. now that you and your friends are all here. I can torment your Space Marines and force them to turn, or otherwise steal their geneseed. Or even better, pervert them and control their minds and brainwash. You have no idea what sorts of things my 'priests' can do to you. And I'm forcing you three to watch the entire horrifying process.
Ezra: What?
Drake: Trust me? I'm Chaos, and insane. If anything you should have tried to kill me, but now I have the entire chapter bent on knee and eventually, only loyal to me. You've made a mistake old friend.
Failther: No! NO! This wasn't supposed to happen.
Drake: And what were you going to do? Gain my trust and THEN create my downfall? I'm not stupid. Turnabout is fair play. Take them away to the brig, and made the dragon and the Sorceror think all is well.
Dragonspit: Yes my Lord.

Dragonspit gestures towards the bowels of the Battleship, the Bloodletters nod and carry off their struggling prey. Lord Drake cackles, then turns to head back to the bridge, where the dragon and the sorcerer are busy with cookies.

Tlanextic: Well?
Drake: Taken care of. We're heading home.
Vyce: That was fast.. What are the-
Drake: They're coming with for conversion at Draconis.
Tlanextic: The entire chapter?
Drake: Or what's left of it anyway. This has been my dream, to finally unite the Black Dragons with the Black Draconis, and commence my plans to get revenge on the Inquisition, it's beautiful really.

Vyce and Tlanextic exchange glances, Vyce shrugs and Tlanextic nods, tapping his Serpent Staff on the ground. The shaft of the staff itself was simple, but the design features two winged serpents coiled around the length, and body, wings, and heads facing each other at the head of the staff. The eyes of the serpents glowed an eerie red, a sign of it's warp powers.

Tlanextic: Very well, lets head back...
Drake: Meantime, let me watch my soaps.
Dreadnought: Billy Mays here, and I've got someth-
Drake: That man amuses me...