Mami's Apartment, that Monday Night.
School hadn't been too bad. Mami had decided against joining her new friends after school... she had other connections she needed to foster, as the text from Oriko earlier that day had suggested. Homura and Sanae were both having a night out with Kyouko... probably hunting, if Mami's guess was right.
Mami was just finishing plating the dinner she'd prepared when the doorbell rang. She opened it up to reveal Oriko. Mami let her in, and closed the door behind her.
"It really is a pretty nice place you have here." Oriko said.
"Thank you." Mami bowed her head as she offered Oriko a seat. "I'm glad you had some time. You're right... I should really get to know each of you better if we're going to be fighting alongside each other. And your timing is perfect."
"Well, I do try. Though it is easier with my visions." Oriko grinned lightly as she took her seat.
"What's it like being a seer?" Mami asked as she sat across from Oriko and the two began the meal.
"What's it like being able to see connections?" Oriko replied.
"Sorry... I suppose it must be hard to explain. I mean, for me... well, Candeloro's better at it, but I can just... sometimes see what things are connected. There's a thread or rope or ribbon or something that connects them."
"From what Kyouko's told me, Candeloro can manipulate ephemeral connections, too. When Sanae called me a few nights ago, she pleaded quite fervently for us not to answer your calls." Oriko said, and Mami nodded.
"She was... I was... controlling Kyouko through the connection she has to her Soul Gem."
"I don't think you need to blame yourself for that particular use of Candeloro's power. She seemed quite in control."
"But... she's me, and I need to remember that."
"The Candeloro you've usually had to deal with is, yes. But... it's possible she had gathered enough power from us to... well, completely overcome you and become a quite separate being, at least for a time."
"She could... exist without me?"
"I've seen her do it. I've also seen her swallowed by your magic, Mami."
"Then... I need to-"
"Keep her around."
"Oriko, you can't be... serious. Why?"
"Right now, you are the key to a change in what Magical Girls are. But should you or Candeloro vanish, that lock will remain forever in place."
"Did you have a vision about us?"
"I'm confident that's what it was about, yes. It was the night after Candeloro and Sanae called. It was more metaphorical than most of my visions, though, so I could be wrong. I saw 3 coins. One depicted a Magical Girl, one depicted a wraith, and one displayed a Magical Girl on one face, and a Wraith on the other. Each tried to go into a coin slot, but The Magical Girl was too large, the wraith's simply returned, as it was too small. But the coin with both of them worked, and opened a door it was connected to. Behind that was a Soul Gem held aloft by a crowd of people." Oriko took a sip of the tea provided before continuing.
"I could be wrong about it, of course, and perhaps the change in question wouldn't be good. But I think it's safe to say you have a rather unique connection between yourself and Candeloro."
"Maybe... I mean... I had been planning to go meet another that maybe had something similar."
"Right, that Shinki that Kyouko mentioned. Perhaps the vision speaks of her instead. Who knows? Ah, I did have a question for you, though."
"Yes?"
"You told Kyubey that you met the killer we'd been tracking down?" Oriko asked.
Mami nodded. "It seems she's from Gensokyo... a maid of a vampire mistress... her name is Sakuya."
"If her mistress is a vampire, that does a lot to explain her aims, if not her methods. What did she look like?"
"She had silver hair and matching eyes... was about this tall." Mami briefly stood and used her hand to indicate before sitting down again. "She had a really confident tone of voice... And... well, you wouldn't be able to see, probably, but she was encircled by enough of her mistress's magical chains that I wonder if she even had any free will of her own. She seemed to exist solely for her mistress."
"Odd... that's nothing like the visions I've had of her. Are you certain it's the right person?"
"She confessed that she's the one Homura and her allies had been looking for, and spoke as though they'd met, so I'm pretty sure."
"Perhaps my visions about her weren't as literal as I thought, then." Oriko pondered.
"Ah, but you were right about something else. She is capable of stopping time, and Homura was able to... ah... I suppose 'join her' in that stopped time is the best way to describe it."
"Hm. One more thing before we move on... I have to admit that even the first time I saw her in a vision, she caught my eye... she seemed... familiar, somehow." Oriko said as she sipped her tea. "Well, I'm sure I'll meet her eventually... some day soon, if my hunch is right."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not sure. It's not a vision or anything. Just... a hunch. It might be a result of my power, it might not."
"Can I ask you what your wish was?" Mami tentatively asked, moving on.
"Of course. I wished to 'know what futures lie ahead.' I was at a particularly confusing time of my life, and felt lost and directionless. Obviously that's been much less of a problem ever since. How about yourself, if I may ask?"
"I can't remember."
"That's a bit strange, no offense. One doesn't easily forget something as important as their wish." Oriko said as she took another delicate bite of the meal.
"Well... I was dying at the time. It was a car crash... I think I just wished to live, but... I'm not sure. I suppose with how quickly Magical Girls heal, the transformation itself might have saved me from death. All I really remember is Kyubey looking at me from that window... my panic... realizing I was going to die... wanting so badly to keep living. It's all a big, terrifying blur between that and waking up at the hospital." Mami had paused her meal... her hands were too unsteady to hold the chopsticks in any case.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it had been so... traumatic."
"I wondered for so long after that... what if I'd had more time, or given it more thought? My parents died in that car crash... and knowing the power of wishes, perhaps I could have saved them."
"I don't know that I've heard of anyone contracting when they were that close to death. At least you knew Kyubey well enough to make any wish at all, then." Oriko said in a consoling voice.
"I didn't."
"What? But he usually-"
"Not with me. The first time I saw Kyubey was right then. I've asked him, though... he says it was just a coincidence that he was there at the time... upon seeing the car crash, he identified that one of the victims had whatever it is they look for in Magical Girls."
"How did he explain everything in that short of a time, though?"
"He didn't. I didn't know what I was getting into. I just wanted to live..." Mami was tearing up. "And... with all the trouble I've caused, maybe it would be better if I hadn't."
"Think of how many people would have died without you defending Mitakihara."
Mami nodded, remembering the scenes Satori had shown her... scenes of a Mitakihara deprived of her presence. "I know, I know. It's been pointed out to me before. But knowing isn't feeling."
"Well, maybe Yuma will be able to help with that. Not to make light of what happened to you, but I think she had it roughest of all of us. She's an orphan like most of us, but her parents were downright cruel before their... passing."
Mami nodded as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I suppose I do have that, at least. Vague memories of my family... how happy I was around them. But... I can't even remember their names, Oriko." Mami looked up at her conversation partner.
"Don't worry too much about that. It's not unusual for a child to know their parents only as 'mom' and 'dad' for quite a while, after all."
"Thank you, Oriko. You said... you're an orphan as well?"
"Yes... I suppose after all you've told me, you deserve to know a bit more about the circumstances around my own wish. To cut a long story short, my father was an influential politician... and a very corrupt one. My mother tried to temper him, but one day she disappeared... an act I now know to be the work of a wraith, though at the time I suspected it was my father's doing; they didn't get along very well. In any case, my father eventually got caught, and killed himself in shame. As his closest living relative, most of his belongings that weren't reclaimed by the courts went to me. It was soon after that, with both countless opportunities ahead of me and no guidance at all on what to do that I made my wish."
"I see. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that."
"Like I said, it wasn't all bad. I got my wish and it's served me well since. Yuma... I feel for the poor girl. It's because of me that she got roped into this at all."
"How?" Mami asked a simple question, though she was a little afraid to hear the response, if it was even more depressing than Oriko's own history had been.
"She made her wish to save me from a wraith. I'd gone to face it because a vision had suggested that I'd not only defeat it, but meet a Magical Girl ally in the process. I'd known Yuma before, and even knew that Kyubey had been tracking her. I didn't realize she'd be anywhere near that fight... She made a wish to heal me, and only because of that did I win."
"How did you two first meet, then?"
"I saved her from the wraith that killed her parents. You might find this hard to believe, but there was so much hatred between her parents that it became a wraith and killed them both. They hated Yuma only slightly less than they hated each other, though. They'd abused and neglected her for her entire life, and after the wraith had literally destroyed her parents, I arrived and defeated it." Oriko said with a grim look on her face.
Mami found herself speechless.
"I told myself then that I would do what I could to make sure she had a better life. I adopted her as a younger sister, so to speak, and just because she's become a magical girl now doesn't mean I take that oath any less seriously. She deserves a better life than she's ended up with."
Mami nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Oriko. It's hard to keep fighting, sometimes... easy to lose sight of those that we help. And... hearing your stories... I want to make sure they never happen again. That no one else has to go through what Yuma did."
"I'm glad to hear that. And I hope that you enjoyed this dinner as much as I did. I feel I know you much better, now."
Mami nodded, and noticed something.
"You know, I think I prefer this method of making connections over Candeloro's." Mami said as she traced a thread that ran between the rings on Mami and Oriko's fingers.
"Well, it isn't one I object to. We should do this again sometime, but I think Hana was planning on reaching out to you tomorrow." Oriko stood and excused herself.
"I look forward to her company, and thank you for yours." Mami said as Oriko left... but the thread lingered, reminding Mami that she wasn't quite as alone as she'd once been.
Tuesday Evening, the Next Evening
Mami headed to the door as she hung up the phone. Hana had just asked which apartment was Mami's, so she must be nearby. The table was set, the food was ready to be served... everything was ready. Candeloro hadn't prepared nearly so much for Hanas arrival a few days ago, but it's harder to make a good impression than a poor one.
Mami heard a knock at her door and opened it. Hana was there, dressed in a casual summer dress.
"Welcome, Hana. Oriko said you wanted to speak to me, and I'm trying to get to know all of you better, too, so come on in!" Mami said, gesturing inside. Hana entered, and the two went to sit down. Hana looked a bit surprised by the dinner Mami had prepared.
"You didn't need to go through all this. I really just wanted some advice, I guess."
"Relax, enjoy the food, and let me know what it is when you're ready." Mami said, offering Hana the flow of the conversation. Hana picked a bit at the food, but before she'd even eaten, she spoke.
"Mami... how much do you..." Hana searched for a word as she stared at her food. "How much do you share with Candeloro?"
"Well, we share bodies, memories... and blame." Mami said with a sigh. "Right now, I'm in control, but she sort of whispers in my ear, you could say. She can sort of control my actions indirectly. And the same goes for me when she's in control."
"And it was Candeloro that killed Amaiko..."
Mami nodded, not surprised this was the reason Hana had come.
"I'm sorry... When Candeloro came here that night, she was beyond my control. Something about..." Mami paused, thinking how to describe the 'hunt' Candeloro had gone on. "how she got here made it so that it wasn't really her... so I didn't come along. She 'shared' her memories of that night with me, though..."
"I don't really care about that. I'm upset we lost a member of the team, I suppose, but such is life, right? That's kind of getting at the problem, though."
"What do you mean?"
"I should probably be more upset, right?" Hana looked sadly at her still uneaten food.
"You look like you're upset enough already."
"I just feel like I should be more angry at Amaiko's killer. That I should feel her loss more than I did... more than I do. I remember we worked together so well, but I can't remember how. It's like Amaiko was some stranger I met off the street, instead of my twin sister." Hana said.
"She was your twin?"
"See? Even you care more about it than I do. I don't feel any more for her than I do for the other girls who died that night because we failed... just another casualty. I can barely even remember what she looks like, when I should be reminded of her face every time I look in a mirror. It hasn't even been two months!" Hana was beginning to tear up.
"Hana, it isn't your fault." Mami said... then realized just how true that was. She felt a twinge of regret from deep within over severing that connection. And now I feel especially stupid for cutting that connection... But then, she probably would have died if it was still there. They really did share a strong link, and killing one would have killed the other.
"I know! But that doesn't make it easier when all my friends and family remember her fine."
"I mean that it's Candeloro's fault. She didn't 'just' kill Amaiko. She severed your connection to her."
"What does that even mean?"
"You two had a strong bond. And before she killed Amaiko, she broke that bond." Mami said, then spoke a thought as it occurred to her. "I think she was trying to save your life. For all that she was a monster... I think she was trying to be merciful. She hates cutting connections, so why would she have done it if not to spare you the pain Amaiko's death would give you?"
Maybe because shut up. I told them I'd only kill one of them and breaking promises rubs me the wrong way as much as breaking other connections does.
"So... she killed my sister, but didn't want to kill me, for some reason?"
"She said she told you she'd only kill one of you, and it sounds like she considered that a deep promise."
"Mami, Wraiths don't talk. I mean, the Great One does, but it's a very strange one. Candeloro just... attacked."
That's not true! I mocked them and everything! They kept ignoring me!
"She... says she tried talking but you kept ignoring her." Mami relayed. Hana shook her head furiously.
"Candeloro had Amaiko and I completely bound. We'd have been more than willing to talk instead of dying if she'd given us the chance, but it was just... meaningless howls of rage."
"I wonder if... if other wraiths have tried talking..." Mami felt her gut somersaulting. If they'd been trying and simply... couldn't. Then what? Then maybe they wouldn't be so set on killing and destruction.
"I doesn't much matter, does it? As long as they keep causing so much suffering, I'm going to keep fighting them." Hana said with a bit of conviction.
"You're right. And if you're worried that you should remember your sister more... don't be. To be honest, I can't remember the faces or names of my own mother and father."
"You're just trying to cheer me up."
"I really can't. They were always just 'mother' and 'father' to me... and once I made my wish, they were gone. I missed them, but if anything, the hole they left in my heart has... well, made me who and what I am today."
"But I'm saying I'm having trouble keeping Amaiko in my heart. I'm not sure she was ever there."
"And I'm saying that part of why I have a literal monster sharing my body is from missing my parents so badly."
"Oh." Hana had a look of realization on her face.
"Exactly. A lot of good can come from strong connections with people... but once they're dead, they're... gone, and those connections just... tangle up all the others. And... I'm not sure even I realized that until just now. Kyouko hasn't..."
"You're talking about Sayaka, right?" Hana asked, and Mami nodded.
"And the Magical Girl Homura with Madoka... They're in pursuit of the lost... and getting so tied up in that pursuit they risk becoming lost themselves. I can't even count the number of times that Kyouko's nearly been claimed by the law of cycles, and Homura... well... she's Lily, now... that Homura is gone."
"So what, just let her go? Forget about her? 'Get over it'?"
"You already have, remember? The way it happened is strange, but you have gotten over your sister's death. Right now you're hung up on having gotten over it so quickly. Maybe it's just how you're coping with her death..."
"But I don't want to forget her. Especially not in such an unnatural way!"
"Then don't. You haven't truly forgotten her, even with Candeloro slashing your connection. Otherwise you wouldn't be feeling this guilt, would you? Hold onto her in your heart and let her inspire you... but be thankful that you're alive... and that you're able to still do things. Let her live through you. I can barely remember the faces of my own parents. I can't remember their names at all. But that doesn't mean they aren't important to me... and they'll never stop being important to me."
"Thank you, Mami. I... I'll try to do that."
"Then you will. And I do hope that someday you'll find someone else to understand on that deep level again."
"You said Candeloro broke that connection." Hana asked, and Mami nodded in confirmation. "Then... couldn't she make something like it, too? Hook up myself with Yuma or Oriko or Saki or you or Kyouko?"
"She could, I think, but I'm not sure she'd be willing to stop it there."
"But if she can do it, then you can, right?" Hana asked hopefully. Mami was torn as she nodded again.
"I think I could, but... I don't know if I should."
"Why? You could undo... well, some of what she did. It'd help out the team, too. Hell, you could link us all together, couldn't you? We could all fight as one!"
"But then we'd be fighting as one... not as a team. We all do better when we're left to make some decisions on our own." Mami said, nervously.
"I never said you should take control of us. Just that you should make it easier for us to know each other's place and intentions and all that."
"I'm just... not sure Candeloro would go for that. I can use her magic, but it is hers... and she's... pretty controlling." Mami pointed out, even as Hana is literally asking to be bound. "I'm trying very hard right now not to do it." Mami confessed.
"Why?" Hana asked in a frustrated tone. "It would be good for all of us, right?"
"Because it's... it would be me changing your mind... I'd be making your decisions for you... for all of us." Mami realized she wasn't getting through and changed angles.
"Hana... how would you feel if I'd made your wish for you. If I could somehow have made a wish while making you pay the price of becoming a magical girl... would you like that?"
"Well, it's not like our life is that bad..."
"What would your abilities be as a Magical Girl if the wish I'd made for you had been to hide someone away... if all your magic revolved around isolation, so that you could never form another friendship or relationship at all ever again."
"That... that wouldn't happen... it couldn't... could it?" Hana looked spooked.
"What you're asking me to do isn't far off from that, though."
"I'm just asking you to make me really connect with someone again! It's totally different!"
"Alright, how about this..." Mami handed Hana a notebook. "Write down what you hate most about... I don't know... something in this room."
"Well, that stuffed animal's ratty and stupid." Hana pointed out one of Mami's favorite toys.
"Write it down, because I'm going to connect it to you. This is as much to be sure of what I'm doing. Maybe you're right and I really should connect us all... but I want to be sure."
"Alright, fine." Hana looked at Mami's old stuffed animal... and Mami couldn't help but do the same. It had been with her for a while, and... well, she'd grown attached to it. It was old, chewed up, missing an eye, and in a sorry state, but it was also one of the few possessions she'd allowed herself to keep from before the accident. As she looked now, she could see a fine yellow string connecting herself to it, and she grinned a bit. Not all connections were bad, after all.
Hana kept writing as Mami watched quietly... and kept writing... and turned the page and kept writing.
"Is there really so much wrong with it?" Mami pouted a bit as she asked.
"Well, yeah? Here, I'll finish up, though." Hana wrote just a few more lines, then looked to Mami. "Alright, so now you'll do something to make me like it?"
"I'll connect it to you..." Mami reached into herself... tapping slightly into Candeloro, and drew a nice, firm thread between Hana and Mami's old toy, using Mami's own connection as a model.
"Now read what you wrote before."
"Alright..." Hana began to do so quietly, and slightly wrinkled her nose as she did so.
"And?"
"This... this is my handwriting... but... I... I love your bear. It's adorable! I can't believe I wrote this!" Hana looked at the bear and even walked towards it. Mami just watched as she spoke.
"See? It's dangerous, and without knowing exactly how it'll affect you... it's... I just shouldn't. And like I said before, all of us are smarter than one of us." Mami said as Hana picked up her bear. Mami severed Hana's new connection to the Bear, and within just a few short moments, Hana had dropped the bear and now looked at it with disgust...
Then she turned to Mami, and Mami knew that Hana had finally gotten it through her thick skull Hana realized what had happened...
"Y... you've made your point."
"Yes, but I feel I should make one more. That was a really indirect manipulation... but I found out earlier that... I'm pretty sure I can manipulate Magical Girls... very directly. Their bodies, at least, if not their magic."
"What!? How- Who!?"
"Candeloro controlled Kyouko... it has something to do with how our Soul Gems connect to our... well, bodies." Mami said, and felt the fear grow more...
"And... you're telling me this because..."
"Candeloro wants you afraid of her... of us. And I want you to be warned so that you can defend yourself if Candeloro ends up striking out against you."
"How the hell am I supposed to be able to defend myself from being... being puppetted!?" Hana raised her voice.
"I don't know... I don't even know what your wish was. I'm telling you this so that you can think about it... so that you can set up contingencies that I don't know about. So that if it's needed, you can help keep Candeloro in check. I know it's selfish of me, but..."
"You say the weirdest things sometimes. I really don't know where to stand with you... but thanks for the warning, I guess?" Hana said hesitantly. "Ah... thank you for the meal, but I should... probably go, now."
"Right, right... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but..." Mami trailed off.
"It's alright, really. Seriously, you're apologizing for giving me a warning. Just what would the Great One be like if it apologized for coming after each meeting?" Hana chuckled as she closed the door behind her.
Mami let out a sigh of relief a bit as she saw a thread trail out between herself and Hana.
"I suppose she's right. I wonder how Keine's doing nowadays, anyway..." Mami pondered aloud.
Author's notes: So there we go; Oriko and Yuma's stories are a bit different in this universe, which probably could have been guessed earlier, but I thought it should be laid out.
I don't know how people balance so many characters in their stories. I want to give all of them more screen time but there's just no way, you know?
Also, title drop with one of many possible meanings of the title. As it turns out, there's a lot of lost and a lot of pursuit.
I hope you enjoyed it and continue to enjoy reading!
