Hey! :D
So I'd like to thank y'all for your reviews. I'm on 549! That's awesome :D
Shout-out to MissAbi97 for talking to me earlier on Twitter and calling herself "my biggest fan". Wow. I think that's the first time someone has done that. Thanks so much, Abi! :D
Also, k.98'PeaceOutSuckas – would you really like me to post one of your one-shots? Or shall I ask Hannah to do it – I'm sure she won't mind ;D Also, well done for remembering who Rebecca was… everyone else, you will find out soon enough… ;)
So, I have the rest of the story officially planned. Only four chapters left, including this one :'( But I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! :D
I don't own SWAC :P
Chapter 53 - Dreams and A Test
Chad's POV
Sonny's dreams, whatever they are, continue throughout our honeymoon. Not always, but most of the time.
And it's worrying me.
Almost every night, she has these dreams about me and this 'Rebecca'. I don't want to ask her what's wrong, because she doesn't mention them much. When I ask her what's wrong when she wakes up in the night, her breathing rapid, she tells me it was just "that dream" again, kisses me on the cheek, and goes back to sleep.
I wake up on the last morning, rubbing my eyes. I check the clock – 8:30am, and decide to pack, ready for the plane at 1pm. I turn over and kiss Sonny lightly on the cheek, and she mumbles hazily. I chuckle – she's still sleeping.
I get out of bed carefully, hoping not to wake her. I then fish around for our stuff to put in the suitcases, as quietly as I can.
I get through most of it in two and a half hours, considering I had to get breakfast and stuff. And at 11am, Sonny has only just woken up. She rubs her eyes tiredly, before looking up and me and I smile at her.
"Mornin', sleepyhead." I say with a smile. She smiles back – a weak smile, but a smile all the same.
"What time is it?" She asks, her voice hoarse.
"Eleven." I say after checking my watch, "I'm just packing ready for the plane journey back home in a couple of hours."
Sonny's eyes widen, before she shrugs and gets up. "Lemme help you pack…" She wobbles a little, probably because she's still tired. I can't help but grin – even when she's tired, Sonny just can't help helping people.
"Don't worry." I say, stopping her from getting up, "I got it. You look like you need the sleep."
Sonny gasps, before she smirks, "And what does that mean?"
Oops. "Sorry, Sonshine, I didn't mean it that way, I…"
Sonny giggles, "Don't worry, sweetie, I'm kidding." She says. I relax after that. At least she's not mad at me. "I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back…"
I watch her go with a smile, before putting the last pieces into the suitcase and zipping it up. Then, bored, I wait, sat on the bed, for Sonny to come out. She stays in there, a few minutes, mumbling something. I'm pretty sure I hear her say "it should be here by now" and "no, my stupid dreams have nothing to do with this…" To do with what? Is she okay?
A few minutes after she went in, Sonny steps out of the bathroom, a confused, worried look on her face. And of course, when she's worried, I'm worried.
"You okay, m'lady?" I ask her. It takes her a few seconds to reply, before she shakes her head and smiles at me. "I'm fine." She says, "Just need a nap…"
She wanders back over to the bed and collapses down onto it, snuggling up against one of the pillows and smiling a little. The smile doesn't last long, and she starts to toss and turn. She screams, before her breathing becomes rapid. She doesn't sound in a good place at all.
She's having the dream again.
"You're here." She breathes, a smile spreading across her face. She giggles, before screaming once more. "You're not gonna leave me, are you?" She continues.
"I'm staying right here." I say to her, grabbing her hand, even though from past experiences I know she can't hear me, and she isn't talking to me anyway. I think she's talking to a dream version of me. She smiles again, looking tired, before she screams once more. She looks distressed, and I sigh.
"Sonny!" I yell to her. She wakes up in a hot sweat, looking up at me. "Is everything okay?" I ask her.
"Yup, everything's fine." She says, "I just… had that dream again."
I sigh. Of course. That dream. When we get home, I need to take her to a doctor about these. I take her hand and lift her up so that she's secure on her own feet.
"It's time to go home." I tell her.
Sonny's POV
I wake up on the last day of mine and Chad's honeymoon, tired. I haven't had much proper sleep since we arrived in Vanuatu – Chad and I have been staying up late, talking, messing about on the beach, dancing, and then of course, I've been having the same dream every night.
And it's scaring me.
It's like I'm being haunted by dreams of Chad and Rebecca. In my dreams, this is the name of my daughter – and Chad's, of course.
Chad wakes me up, every night, to check if I'm okay. No, I never am. I'm usually scared, because of the dream I'm having; and annoyed, because I just know that every time Chad wakes me up from the dream, it means I am prone to having said dream again the next time I doze off.
So, I've been trying to stay awake for as long as I can. But I know resistance is pointless, and sometimes I just give in and let myself doze off. And sometimes, I am subconscious of my falling asleep. I only realise I've gone into slumber when the dream begins.
I wake up to see Chad, stood at the end of the bed, with a suitcase on it and a pile of clothes in his hands. He dumps the clothes in the suitcase, before looking at me and putting on a bright smile that tires me out. With all my energy, I smile back.
"Mornin', sleepyhead." He says. I cringe at that sentence, because he's right. I'm soooo tired…
"What time is it?" I ask him, my voice coming out croaky, and he looks to his watch before looking back at me with that same warm smile.
"Eleven. I'm just packing ready for the plane journey back home in a couple of hours."
Eleven? Wow. I really had slept in. Hmm, I should help Chad. "Lemme help you pack…" I say to him, getting out of bed. I get up slowly, but Chad stops me.
"Don't worry." He says, "I got it. You look like you need the sleep."
I smirk, "And what does that mean?" A look of panic escapes onto Chad's face, and I laugh.
"Sorry, Sonshine, I didn't mean it that way, I…"
"Don't worry, sweetie, I'm kidding." I say with a chuckle. Chad sighs with a relief, and I smirk. "I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back…"
I come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, worried. It's my time of the month, and I haven't yet started.
Maybe I'm just being melodramatic – I mean; this can sometimes happen, right? A woman can miss a period?
It isn't like I am pregnant or anything…
Although… my dreams could be a crazy sign… I shake the thought out of my head. Don't be ridiculous, Sonny… your dreams are not a sign to you being pregnant. I've heard about some signs for pregnancy, and having dreams like the ones I've been having are not signs of me being pregnant. Maybe I've been having them because I want a baby?
Honestly, I don't know…
"You okay, m'lady?" Chad's voice comes out of nowhere, and I shake my head to stop it spinning, before turning to face Chad and smiling.
"I'm fine." I say with a smile, "Just need a nap…"
Sleeping was not my brightest idea yet. I wake up in a room, like the one I've been in every night this week in my dreams.
I'm in a hospital. And I'm in agony.
I let out a few screams of pain, as the woman (who changes every night, but is the midwife. This time, she looks faintly like Tawni) tells me to calm down. She says that Mr Cooper is on his way, and for that, I sigh with relief. Just as she says so, the doors burst open, and a slightly older-looking Chad comes into the room. He looks scared, confused, worried… but also excited.
"You're here." I say. Chad runs over to the bed beside me, takes my hand, and holds it tight.
"Did you really think I'd miss the birth of my child?" He laughs. I laugh too, but it hurts, and I cry out a little. Chad squeezes my hand, and his breathing speeds up.
"It's okay, it's okay…" He assures me, "I'm here – I've got you. Everything's gonna be fine…" I smile, and start to pray that this is what Chad is gonna be like, when I give birth in real life. I really don't want him to be the husband in those rom-coms that faints when he sees blood.
"You're not gonna leave me, are you?" The words escape from my mouth.
"Of course not!" Chad laughs. I feel a smile creep onto my lips, before the pain begins again.
"Sonny!" Chad yells in panic.
"Sonny!"
I open my eyes to see Chad, stood over me, looking concerned.
"Is everything okay?" He asks. I sigh.
"Yup, everything's fine." I assure him, "I just… had that dream again."
Chad sighs and shakes his head, before taking my hand and leading me to the door.
"It's time to go home." He says softly.
Weeks go by. The dream stops, but now I have bigger problems.
I have all the signs. No period, food cravings, morning sickness, et cetera, et cetera… I begin to think I'm pregnant.
I don't tell Chad though – it's a scary thought. We'd have to talk about it all. I know he wants a child – I do too – but what if I really am pregnant? What will he say? What will he do? I trust him enough to know he wouldn't run away, but a tiny seed of doubt lives in my stomach, haunting me that if I ever did become pregnant, Chad would get scared and run off.
And not because he's Chad. Because I'm Sonny. Would he start to think I'm not worth the pressure of a baby? Would he want to leave me, alone with our unborn child?
I then mentally slap myself. Why the hell would Chad do that? Chad is Chad – he loves me, and he's not that kind of guy. He wouldn't hurt me like that… I know he wouldn't…
I'm still terrified to tell him.
And so, five weeks after our honeymoon – five weeks after I could've possibly conceived – and I get one of those home pregnancy test kits. I wait till Mom's gone to work, Josh and Abby have gone to school, and Chad is out at a meeting for a new potential role in a movie.
I use the test, and am shocked when I see the result – even though I saw it coming…
Positive.
I'm pregnant.
I suddenly hear a door open, and then close, and shudder with fear. Someone's home.
"Sonny, I'm home!" I gasp at the voice.
Chad.
"Sonny?"
His voice is so innocent, so happy; he has no clue of what I just found out. He has no idea of how drastically our lives are going to change now. What if I just don't tell him about it altogether? In fact… no, scratch that idea. What kind of wife would I be if I did that? Besides, if Chad found out that I didn't tell him, he'd be heartbroken, and I have to face that fact that I can't hide this from him forever. I'll start to get bigger, be sick, have food cravings… things will change…
I don't know why I'm being so melodramatic… Chad won't be mad or upset if I'm pregnant. We're having a child – that's a good thing! We've been wanting a child – we knew that was one thing we wanted so much when we got married. And so here we are, married, with a baby on the way…
So why the heck am I so worried?
Because I have a fear in the back of my heart, my brain; telling me that Chad will drop me when he finds out. Chad loves me, I know that, but how do I know he'll be okay with me having a baby? What if I tell him I'm pregnant and he walks out on me? What will I do then?
I walk out into the hallway, where Chad is stood. He's taking off his jacket, but he recognises my presence with a smile.
"Hey, Sonny!" He calls over. He looks up at me and his face creases with worry. "Sonny, is everything okay?"
Oh no… he can tell something's wrong. He can see right through me.
"Sonny?" He says, his eyes glistening, "Sonny, talk to me…"
I don't know what to say. My knees feel weak, my heart is thumping. I need to get out of here. My legs lead me away from Chad, upstairs to my room. Tears unwillingly flood out of my eyes, and I slam the door behind me and lie down on mine and Chad's bed, hiding myself.
I'm not alone for long. Chad knocks softly on the door a couple of times.
"Sonny?" He calls through the door. He sounds sad, confused… and that makes me even angrier with myself for running out on him. I'm even madder at myself for thinking that he would run out on me if I told him I was pregnant. How untrusting can a person get; to think that the person who loves them the most would run out on them because something had changed?
"Sonny, please talk to me. What's wrong?"
"Go away." Is all I can manage. I need some time to think this through, and it's not the best idea to talk to Chad right now.
"You're mad at me?" Chad asks, his voice dripping with confusion and panic, and I wince. What am I doing? "Please, Sonny, I don't know what I've done, but whatever it is, please tell me. Then I can apologise for it. Please?"
I open the door, to where Chad is leaning against the frame. He bites his lip when he sees me.
"Sonny, I…"
Before Chad can finish, I find myself collapsing into his arms, sobbing into his shirt. Chad pulls a terrified face, and I hate myself for being such a mess. Why am I doing this to the man I love?
"S-Sonny?" He stutters, "What did I do?"
"It's not you…" I say, "I promise, it's not your fault. It's no-one's fault, it's just…"
"Sonny."
Chad looks down at me with confused, caring eyes. He takes a deep breath, before pronouncing each word; "What. Is. Wrong?"
He leads me into our room, sits me down on the bed, and takes a seat next to me. He grips my hand tightly and gazes into my eyes. He wants to know. He needs to know.
I'm not gonna hide this from him. We should be excited – a child is on the way! I know Chad's wanted this for ages! So have I! So, why exactly, am I so scared to tell him?
I take a deep breath, and hand him the pregnancy test that I put in my pocket to hide it from everyone. He looks down at it, confused, before looking back up at me.
"I-I'm pregnant." I say.
Chad's POV
It is five weeks since our honeymoon, and Sonny's been really jittery recently. Okay, so her dreams have stopped, and she's sleeping well. She just seems… different. She likes onions when she never liked them originally, and has gone off coffee completely. She's in bad moods regularly, and is always tired. To be honest, this is just as worrying as when she had those dreams!
I keep wondering what could be up with her… I mean, surely she isn't pregnant? She could've only got pregnant… during our honeymoon, 5 weeks ago. That's the only time she could've got pregnant… surely…
So… she could be pregnant… but maybe she isn't? Or maybe she is? I honestly don't know… I'm going to just wait for her to tell me about it. If she is pregnant, well, maybe she's worried to tell me. And besides, there's no guarantee she's pregnant.
Right?
I'll just have to wait to see what she says…
I arrive home from a meeting about a possible movie role for myself, to an empty house. Well, apart from Sonny. She said she didn't feel too well today, so she didn't want to go into the studio to work on her album. I didn't want to question – I just said it was fine and left her in our room, on the bed, with a TV and a couple of magazines. I didn't want to question her… illness.
I hear moving about in the downstairs bathroom down the hall, before out of the corner of my eye I see Sonny walk out. She stops in her tracks when she sees me.
"Hey, Sonny!" I say. She doesn't reply. I turn to face her, and realise something is very, very wrong. She looks tired, weary, eyes wide open, lower lip quivering. "Sonny?" I say, anxious, "Is everything okay?"
Her mouth opens. She goes to say something, but nothing comes out. Oh no…
"Sonny?" I say. She starts to back away, slowly, step by step. "Sonny, talk to me…"
She won't do as I ask. She closes her eyes to stop the waiting tears, and I watch horrified, as she runs away from me and up the stairs.
"Sonny!"
I follow her, concerned for my wife. She shuts the door to our room behind her, and I can hear soft sobbing. I knock on the door, hesitant, worried that I've upset her.
"Sonny?" I ask, sounding weak, helpless. Sonny doesn't say anything. "Sonny, please talk to me. what's wrong?"
"Go away." She mumbles, and my heart freezes. I have. I have upset her. I don't know what I've done… but it's obviously made her angry, sad. And that just about breaks my heart, to know I've hurt the woman I love.
"You're mad at me?" I say. She doesn't reply. I take that as a yes. Well… wh-what have I done? What have I done that hurt her so much? "Please, Sonny, I don't know what I've done, but whatever it is, please tell me. Then I can apologise for it." Nothing. "Please?" I add, meekly.
I hear some moving about inside, before the door opens. Sonny is stood in the doorway, looking frail. It makes me want to hurt myself for causing her this much pain. Well, I must be the reason she's so upset… right?
"Sonny, I…"
I don't get to continue.
Sonny gives way and falls into my arms, sobbing weakly into my shirt. I gasp in horror.
"S-Sonny?" I stutter out, "What did I do?"
Sonny sighs, "It's not you…" She says. My heart sighs in relief. "It's no-one's fault, it's just…"
"Sonny." She looks up at me, eyes foggy from the tears. I sigh, anxious and tired of questioning. "What. Is. Wrong?"
Sonny sighs. She bites her lip, like she's thinking hard, before fishing around in her pocket. She takes something out and hands it to me. It's a small rod, with a little screen. A blue line runs through the screen. Hold on… is this…?
"I'm pregnant." Sonny whispers.
It is.
My heart suddenly beats at about 5 times faster. Sonny's… pregnant? As in, with child? As in, I'm gonna be a father?
Wait… as long as this child is mine… no, wait, it's definitely mine.
"How long?" I ask, my voice coming out kinda shaky.
Sonny shrugs, "About… 5 weeks?"
Our honeymoon… there's no way she could've got pregnant by any other man then. Scratch that – there's no way she could've got pregnant by any other man full stop. I trust her. She's my wife.
"I'm sorry I haven't told you sooner…" Sonny is saying, "…but I wasn't sure that I was pregnant and I was worried about what you'd do, what you'd say…"
"Hold up…" I say, "You were worried I'd say what?"
Sonny winces, "I don't know…" She says, "I was being stupid; I thought you'd get mad or worried when I told you…"
"Sonny, how could I be mad?" I say, perplexed, and Sonny shrugs. "I couldn't. I couldn't be mad, because it's not your fault you're pregnant, and you're talking about you being pregnant like it's a bad thing!"
"It's not?" She mumbles, and I chuckle.
"Not even close! I just can't believe this is finally happening!"
Sonny grins, giving me a quick hug, before pulling away with a frown on her face.
"I need to tell you something." She says softly.
"What is it?"
She looks up at me with sad eyes and looks like she could hit herself. I put my arm around her back and stroke it comfortingly. "I… I was worried that, um…" Sonny stammers, "…if I told you I was pregnant, you'd walk out on me."
Sonny's words finally sink in after a few seconds, and they sting like a slap. "Why would I do that?" I say. I sound angry, hurt, but that's because I really am. My wife thought I'd get cold feet and walk out on her because she got pregnant? Who wouldn't be hurt by that?
"I'm so sorry…" She cries, "I wasn't thinking. I was just so confused at the time, but I didn't want to keep a secret like that from you. I'm so, so sorry, Chad…"
I watch Sonny collapse into my arms as she holds back the tears, and all anger and hurt inside me melts away. I can't stay mad at her – not when she's in such a bad place. I guess I've realised that over the next few months, Sonny is gonna need me there, and I plan to stick by her side through all of it.
"Apology accepted." I whisper into Sonny's ear, before kissing softly. "You were scared – I don't blame you. I'd have probably been terrified…" I lift Sonny's head off of my shoulder and smile at her. She smiles back. "I promise, I'm not gonna just take off. This is my child too – I'm not leaving you alone with her. Or him."
Sonny grins, "You are the most amazing husband a woman could ever have, you know that?"
"No, Sonny." I say, "You're the most amazing wife a man could ever have."
Sonny chuckles, "Let's just agree we're both pretty awesome."
"Yep, we are." I agree with a smile.
Sonny giggles in agreement, before she gasps, "What are we gonna tell everyone else? My mom, your dad, Josh, Abby, our friends…"
"We'll figure something out." I say, "Don't worry about it."
At that moment, the sound of a door opening and closing echoes through the hallway into our room. Connie said she's pick up Abby and Josh from school… so that means everyone's home.
I turn to Sonny and grin, "There's not gonna be a better time then now."
Sonny shrugs with a smile. "What do you think they'll say?"
"Well," I say, "Connie's becoming a grandmother, Josh and Abby are gonna be aunts and uncles… I think they'll be fine."
"Okay then…" She beams in that adorable Sonny-way, "Let's do it!"
She takes my hand and leads me out into the hallway. We go down the stairs, hand-in-hand, and I'm suddenly a little nervous. Here we go…
"Mom?" Sonny says softly, and Connie looks over to us as we sit together on the couch. "We want to tell you something."
"What is it, sweetie?" Sonny pats the couch next to her, and Connie sits, Sonny grabbing her hands. She then sighs, exasperated, confused, and so I decide to take over.
"Um, see, we have some news…" I notice Josh and Abby, peering over Connie's shoulder, and try not to smirk. "See… well…" I fish around in my pocket and find the pregnancy test Sonny gave me. I hand it over to Connie, who looks down at it, puzzled, before breaking out into a grin.
"Sonny…" She breathes, "You're pregnant?"
Sonny nods, smiling secretively, before breaking out into that same grin as her mother. They hug each other tightly, squealing. Josh and Abby break into smiles and Abby jumps into my lap, laughing.
"You're gonna be a dad!" She squeaks, and I chuckle.
"Yup." I say, "And you're gonna be an auntie!"
Sonny pulls away from the hug from her mother and collapses onto my lap. Sonny and Abby are giggling on my lap, Connie is hugging me too, and even Josh has joined in with the group hug.
Gosh, it feels amazing to be part of a family once again.
A few hours later, after our family group hugs and calling everyone telling them our news; after hearing every congratulations, Sonny and I fall into each others arms, on our bed, and I rub Sonny's soon-to-be baby-bump with a smile. I suddenly remember the dream I had, all those years ago; where I had a little girl sat on my lap, with blonde hair and blue eyes.
Rebecca.
Suddenly, Sonny's dreams don't seem so scary… they're another sign from my mom. I leave a sleeping Sonny and head out onto the balcony, looking up at the sky with a smile.
"Thanks, Mom." I say, "Thank you so much."
Right up in the sky, I see a blinking star. I never believed in all that "she's watching over you" stuff, but that star, my dream, Sonny's dreams; they all make me change my mind. I smile up into the sky, hoping my Mom knows I'm thinking of her, before closing the door and heading back to bed.
Ta-daaa! So, there we go! Did you enjoy it?
And yus, Rebecca was the same baby girl as in Chad's dream... chapter 24 or something, I think? Pretty cool how it all fits into place, huh? ;)
Soo... please please review? Let's see if we can get even closer to that 600 reviews! Honestly, you guys really don't know what your reviews mean to me. Please do so! :D
Love you all so, so much! :D
~Amy x
