Disclaimer: Not mine

Weight of the World

Chapter 50

The wind whipped about outside, making the tree branches shiver and tap against the window in a creepy manner as Lily and Petunia stood side-by-side beside a metal table with a sheet across it, whatever was under it big and bulky, looking completely different with their totally opposite colouring. Dr. Heath looked at the two girls sadly before she grasped the corner of the sheet and pulled it up and off, exposing the still body of their father.

His skin was a pale grey colour, his shock of red hair looking like the fires of Hell and his eyes were closed, his lips blue and his veins were visible. Their father wasn't sleeping. Their father wasn't ill.

Their father was dead.

Lily couldn't cry. She was ashamed to feel that her eyes were dry and that no tears were spilling from them. She looked at Petunia whose face was impassive and hard and staring at their dead father like he was something else entirely and Lily supposed she was right.

She wouldn't share this with anyone, maybe James in the future as they curl up together in bed, warm and safe and alive. But not now. Her father had purposely driven the car into the mini, purposely tried to kill all three of them because he couldn't bear to be living without his wife beside him.

Lily sighed harshly as the sheet covered the man again, hiding him from view. Lily had to take the weight and bear it as there was nothing else she could do. She would go to his funeral because, even though he had tried to kill them all, he did it out of love for his wife and now, they were together. Lily couldn't hate him for that, but by the stubborn set of Petunia's jaw, she was pretty sure that her older sister could.

She was thankful that his bright green eyes had been closed, she realised as Petunia led her away, being more kind to her then she had in seven years. She was thankful that she didn't have to look into eyes identical to hers, to see the heart break and the fear and the loss – she made a silent promise to herself that she'd never see that look in anybody's eyes ever again.

The weeks passed by in a blur to Lily – preparations for her father's funeral were made, N.E.W.T's were studied for, Hermione had to be calmed three times in the week before from panic attacks and she had to avoid Severus, who was determined to get her to talk to him. It seemed that everybody knew about her accident and everyone, even people that she didn't know where asking her if she was alright, every minute of every day and it was starting to annoy her slightly.

Okay, maybe more then slightly.

She always had a short fuse, and lately, everything around her seemed to be lighting it up. Every little prank that the Marauder's did, even something simple like turning the colour of her red and gold tie blue and bronze annoyed her. Every little first year that looked lost and confused annoyed her. Every sneer of the Slytherin's about her filthy blood was annoying her.

She knew why the Death Eaters had chosen to attack her mother in the street, it wasn't just a random muggle attack it was a warning. The Potters were a pure-blood family and while James' parents had no qualms about him dating her, Death Eaters did. Even though The Potters were not a Death Eater family and never would be, they were still hoping for James to change his mind and to join their side, which he would never do.

It was her lineage that had killed her mother, taken her away and she hated herself for it – her "dirty blood" was going to taint the Potters and that was the reason.

The Slytherin's weren't helping and ever since her parent's death, they seemed to take it upon themselves to kick her while she was down, making her even more miserable. When they said these things to her, spat the word Mudblood at her like she was the dirt at the bottom of her shoe she pretended that she wasn't bothered and just insulted them back – but at night, she'd cry into her pillow at the degrading manner. The only one that she didn't mind being around at the minute was Hermione, who was a fellow Muggle-born and understood her feelings.

"We'll always be prejudiced again." Hermione had said to her one night, eyes on a tombstone of a book and her quill scratching against the parchment, "we unnerve them, I think. Purebloods, I mean. We're not supposed to be able to do this, have these abilities, and yet we do. So they made us inferior to them, to help them cope with the unknown."

It was logical, and logical was what Hermione was. She didn't let the words bring her down and it had never bothered Lily…Well, the first time she heard it and when Severus called her it had really torn her up, when she realised that she was prejudiced against and that her best friend would call her it, but after that she vowed that it would never bother her again…But then, it was the reason that her mother was murdered in cold blood and every time it was uttered it sent a bucket of icy water down her spine and her eyes began to burn.


Hermione was concerned for Lily. She was watching her best friend deteriorate before her eyes over a word and she didn't know how to help. She could relate, of course she could the word was carved in her arm after all, but she didn't know how to help her. She couldn't do anything but offer hollow reassurances to her and she hated that. She could tell that James wasn't fairing much better and that his own temper was getting steadily worse, even going as far as to lash out to Peter, calling him stupid, but Hermione quickly stepped in, telling Peter that James was just stressed and he didn't mean it, but she could see the glimmer in his eyes, the one that said "He's-right-I-am-stupid."

Everyone tried to chip in and cheer her up – Megara bitched with her about lousy Slytherin's, Thoma entertained her with a childhood story that she'd made up about a armadillo whose red short were to big for it, Kara acted normally around her as did Remus (which Hermione thought was pure genius), Peter always got extra chocolate things for her when she went to the kitchen and Rayne asked her to help plan her upcoming wedding for Xenophilius in June, which was exactly a month away. All of this was helping, but it didn't distract Lily totally.

"I'm worried about Lily." Hermione said to Sirius one day as they sat together against the Beech tree beside the lake, his legs framing her as she rested against his chest.

"We all are, love." He said sincerely, dropping a few kisses to her neck. Hermione didn't know if it was because she was here in this time that had caused this change in Lily, or if she went through it anyway. She voiced this particular worry to Sirius who chuckled against her skin. "I doubt it. Lily's been called that word for awhile now, as have you. You and Lily are pretty much the same; you're stubborn, strong-willed and you don't let a word get you down. I reckon her parent's death has pushed her a bit too far. She'll be fine – have you got any new memories?" He asked as his left leg straightened, laid flat against the grass pressing against hers and she smiled at the contact. Sirius had this way of making her feel safe and comforted and that she didn't need to worry.

"No." She sighed, leaning her neck to the side, granting him more access. He grinned and accepted her offer, trailing his kisses up to the skin just behind her ear and scraped his teeth there, sending a delightful shiver down her spine. He was the only one who could do this to her, make her feel like this. She tilted her head further to the side and craned her neck upwards, her mouth seeking his and the dizzyingly amazing kisses he delivered and she wasn't disappointed.

He kissed her like he was a man dying of thirst and she was his salvation. She returned his passion, shifting slightly in his hold, her back against Sirius' chest and he slid one hand to the back of her neck for support, and she smiled into the kiss that he was still concerned for her. He nipped at her lower lip lightly and she opened her mouth, welcoming his tongue. She reached her own hand up, resting it against his jaw as she gasped into the kiss, her eyes sliding shut and she felt Sirius' hand press against hers on his jaw, his fingers falling into the open spaced between hers.

"Oh, my eyes are burning." Hermione regretfully broke the kiss and looked up, squinting at the onslaught of sunlight and sighed when she saw Regulus stood there, looking slightly disgusted, his arms crossed over his chest, hip cocked just so. He and Sirius both held the arrogance that came with being from a Pureblood family, no matter how much Sirius rejected it, it was still in his essence and she realised that he acted immaturely because he was trying to discard it, while Regulus walked around, proud of his blood heritage.

Still, he wasn't prejudiced, and Hermione was thankful to have him for this mission.

"What do you want?" Sirius growled and Regulus merely lifted an eyebrow at his older brother, not at all fazed by the tone of voice that many had run from before.

"To talk," he said, picking at his fingernails with an air of boredom.

"About?..."

"The increasing wrath of Voldemort,"

"Oh, always a cheery subject," Sirius sighed sarcastically, dropping his hand from over hers and she did the same, moving back into a more comfortable position. "Have a seat, little brother."

"No, thank you, I prefer to stand." He insisted, looking at the ground with distaste on his face.

"Suit yourself," Sirius shrugged behind her. They had made their amends as brothers a few weeks ago, Sirius being the one to bite the bullet and he thanked his brother for saving Hermione's life and Regulus apologized (though reluctantly) for not listening to Sirius before his initiation becoming a Death Eater. Their bond had been torn by their views of betrayal (For Regulus, it was Sirius going into Gryffindor and for Sirius, it was Regulus joining the 'big leagues') but it was slowly being stitched together though not in the public eye.

"Specifically, I wanted to talk about next week. I'm going with Voldemort to move the Horcrux, the locket, and then afterwards we'll come up with a plan of destruction." He said simply, "but, we'll do that after you've finished your N.E.W.T's."

Hermione suddenly felt her breathing pick up and she felt constricted in Sirius' arms. She really should be studying for the major exams right now, not sat out in the sunshine with Sirius…Even though it was tempting, she had all the time after N.E.W.T's to snuggle up with the man behind her, but only a few short hours every day to study. She stood, reluctantly leaving Sirius' arms who stood as well and glowered at his brothers.

"We don't mention that word around Hermione," Sirius growled low in his throat as Hermione dusted the seat of her grey skirt off and pulled her shirt back into place – it got twisted as she shifted around. "I won't be able to pull her away from her books for hours now."

"Right, and I was supposed know that…How?" Hermione smiled to herself and left the bickering brothers behind.

"Wait! I didn't finish, Hermione!" She heard Regulus yell after her and Hermione waved a arm over her shoulder back at him, carrying on walking towards the monumental castle that had held many great witches and wizards in its corridors.

"Yeah, yeah, devise a plan later. Good luck!" She called.

When she got to the library, she was in no way surprised to see Severus Snape sat at, what she came to know as 'their table', flipping through a huge book, parchment spread all around him. She walked towards the bookshelves in the back, pulling out the one that she needed about Charms and moved back to their table, sitting on her usual squeaky chair.

Severus barely looked up once Hermione dropped in the seat, but she saw his coal, black eyes going to her right forearm quickly before swinging back to the yellowed pages of the old book in front of him and Hermione became instantly suspicious…Did he know what scar lay there? If so, how?

She was tempted to ask, but Lily breezed through the double oak doors, distracting her. Severus looked up, his head moving up as if being pulled by an invisible string as she entered, as if he were drawn to her presence. Her green eyes scanned the room before settling on Hermione and anger flashed in her eyes as she strode towards them and Severus practically flinched in his seat.

"What are you doing sitting here, Hermione?" Lily asked, her eyes blazing. "Is he annoying you?"

"What? Lily, no. It's okay." Hermione reassured her friend and Lily nodded stiffly.

"Come on then, dinner's on soon." Lily turned on the heel of her shoe and walked out, her robes billowing creepily reminding her of Severus in the future.

"She isn't happy, is she?" Severus asked sadly, his eyes watching as she left the library. Hermione looked at her own book and rolled her eyes.

"Of course she isn't happy, Severus, and with good reason. You don't just get over your parent's dying."

"I know that, it just – " he stopped himself, looking away from the doorway Lily disappeared and stared straight at Hermione. "Does she know?"

Hermione blinked blankly for a second, her mind still on Charms and Lily's parents and for an insane moment, she thought that he meant 'Did Lily know her parents were dead?' until her brain kicked in and she realised what he meant. "No." She stood and tucked the book under her arm, subconsciously pulling the sleeves of her white, button down shirt over her hands and Severus' eyes became somewhat sympathetic, causing Hermione to be suspicious again. "She doesn't know that I'm from a different time and she never will." She said with finality, watching as Severus sighed and started piling his things together – why he just didn't use his wand to clear everything away Hermione didn't know, but she didn't question him as she checked her book out, intending to read it at dinner – she really, really needed to study.

Together, as the clock struck six, they moved through the halls together, moving with the current of students, not trying to barge there way through. They eventually all spilled into the Great Hall and they all went to their respective tables, Hermione moving to sit beside Remus and opposite Lily, who seemed to have calmed down somewhat and smiled at Hermione.

Hermione watched as Rayne burst through the door, her blonde hair a chaotic mess around her head and a huge smile on her face – very soon would be her wedding day.

She practically flew to the space beside Lily and pounced on it, squealing happily. "Oh, where's Megara? I need to speak to her about something." She said, her blue eyes scanning the table, looking disappointed when she couldn't see Megara. Hermione knew that she should be calling her Meg, after almost a year of knowing her, but she still didn't feel comfortable.

"She's probably with James at the Quidditch Pitch – Don't forget the game for the Quidditch Cup is tomorrow." Remus said, staring at his golden plate longingly, waiting for the food to appear.

"Is it?" Rayne asked, "Wow…Where have I been?" She asked herself, scratching the back of her head. "Thoma!" She called when their friend came into view, attached at the hip with Matthew, who kissed her temple and left for the Ravenclaw table as Thoma wondered over, eyebrows raised at Rayne's call. She slid into the seat on the other side of Hermione, smiling warmly at Hermione before looking back at Rayne expectedly. "Did you know that Gryffindor could get the Quidditch cup?"

"Er…Yeah. Rayne, where have you been?" Hermione grinned at Thoma's answer, but she had to agree with Rayne – Hermione had no idea of how Gryffindor had performed during Quidditch (which in her opinion didn't help the feud between houses). Whenever Sirius talked about it, she seemed to blank out – Quidditch reminded her to much of Harry and Ron and she hadn't been to a game since…Well, technically, since 1998, which was a bizarre thought.

"Well, excuse me for being to busy wrapped up with wedding-ness!" Rayne raised her arms above her head in exasperation and Hermione smiled – so like Luna, but so different.

"Or just being wrapped up in good ole' Xeno." Someone said cheekily and Rayne glared at Peter as he sat on the other side of Remus as he gave her a cheery wave. It was so strange to see Peter messing around and making jokes, even though she'd had almost a year to get over it, it was still weird.

"You coming to the game, Hermione?" Remus asked and Hermione thought it over in her head.

"Who's playing us?"

"Ravenclaw." Hermione's eyes looked up to see James drop into the seat on the other side of Lily and Megara beside Thoma.

"Oh! Megara! I need to talk to you!" Rayne squealed loudly, drawing people's attention to her. "I want you to be my maid of honour!"

Megara gasped in surprised before nodding frantically. "Oh, Rayne! Yay-ness!" They both leant across the table simultaneously and hugged each other tightly, ignoring the sharp jab of the wood in their stomachs.

"Yeah, I think I'll watch," Hermione said to Remus, letting the two girls have their moment. Remus grinned at her and then shouted out in happiness when food blossomed on his plate and he stabbed at the bacon quite frantically. Hermione smiled and left him to it in time to see Sirius slink into the room followed by Regulus.

He strode confidently towards the Gryffindor table, still in his uniform and Hermione took a moment to admire the way that his white shirt fit against his lean body just right, the lean body that she spent every night pressed up against.

Ever since she'd been tortured, she'd yearned for his company on a night time, having nightmares when he was absent, struggling to cope through the night. It wasn't until she breeched the topic with him a few nights later that he'd confessed he felt the same, even checking in on her a fair few times every night so they'd come to a compromise. Sleep on the couch. It was charmed to be bigger and softer and easily held the both of them comfortably and she was grateful for Peter's quick thinking in the subject, even if he didn't quite know why they did this every night. He grinned at her and winked at the girls, Kara snorted and winked back dramatically and, when he reached Thoma, he bent at the waist, placing his hands on either side of her body and dropped his head to her ear, and Hermione couldn't fight the pang of jealousy in her heart but she quickly realised that he was charming her so she'd move down the bench (pushing Megara along with her) and leave the space open for him to sit there beside her and she smiled to herself – she really had got lucky when Sirius Black walked into her life.

"What have I missed?" He asked, placing his hand on her knee and squeezing gently before reaching for the plate of sausages.

"Megara is Rayne's Maid of Honour," Thoma said somewhat bitterly, stabbing her own food harshly.

"Aw, damn! You know how pretty Peter looks in blue!" Sirius quipped, sending a quick grin at Peter down the table, who scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Sirius. You're just jealous that you weren't even in the running." Peter retorted and Hermione was surprised. At the beginning of the year, Peter had mostly taken on the jokes, not answering back but now…now he was giving back as good as he got…He was getting more courageous.

The laughter died down and Sirius slung his arm over her shoulder, drawing her closer as she opened her book on the table, flipping through the thick pages. Their charms N.E.W.T was in three days and she desperately needed to study.

"No, no, no, no, no." James told her off, waggling his finger at her before slamming the book shut. "It isn't time for studying, Hermione, it's time to eat. You're getting to thin."

"Hey. You been checking out my girl?" Sirius asked, pretending to be angry and James grinned slyly.

"Maybe…" But a sharp elbow delivered by Lily stopped him and he rubbed his stomach tenderly. "Ow." Lily rolled her eyes and picked at her meal absently, gazing off into the distance as James grumbled away beside her. "I didn't much care for that, Lily."

"A duel! For the fair maiden!" Sirius declared, slamming his fist on the wood of the table and James jumped out, pulling his wand out of his sleeve as Sirius followed suit, holding his wand in front of him like a sword. These little battles they did always amused her and the whole school seemed to appreciate it as well as they all turned their attention to the two squabbling (fakery, of course) boys in battle stance.

"Enough!" Dumbledore's voice boomed out from the Head's table and a ripple of disappointment passed through the school and Hermione herself felt down-hearted that they weren't allowed to continue.

Hermione jumped when a burst of streamers exploded from James's wand, covering everyone within radius with the colourful objects, and Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at James, who immediately sat down, Sirius barking with laughter beside her.

"I have some grave news." Dumbledore said solemnly and everyone became quiet; you could have heard a pin drop in the Great Hall that day. "There has been a threat – Voldemort's course of action. This threat has been issued to all Muggle-born's in the Wizarding World." Opposite her, Lily groaned in frustration and annoyance and Sirius's arm instantly wound its way around Hermione's waist pulling her closer to his side. "I suggest then when you leave these stone walls behind, you be very careful where you tread." His pale blue eyes settled on Hermione from behind half-moon spectacles and Hermione knew that the threat was meant for her. "Now, off to bed, all of you."

Hermione rose shakily to her feet, wondering how Harry had managed to deal with the constant threats towards him as Sirius pulled her away, out of the Great Hall before anybody else, ushering her into a secret passageway.

"Sirius, what-?" She was cut off by Sirius' lips descending on hers heatedly, his hands clutching her to him almost frantically and Hermione gasped in surprise into the kiss and he took advantage, slipping his tongue past the seam of her lips, as if he was trying to draw strength from her. She returned his kiss, as she always would, but didn't understand his sudden need, however, she wouldn't question it. He ripped his lips away from hers and trailed kisses down her jaw and her neck, sucking at her pulse point as her hands plunged into his luscious black locks and her back arched off the wall, pressing her body to his. He groaned and nipped at her skin, sliding one of his legs between both of hers and his hand grabbed her thigh, lifting it up and around his hip. Hermione felt like she was drowning but didn't want to stop. It was overwhelming, the feelings for him and was so lost in this feeling that she almost couldn't hear him...But she did.

"Never gonna hurt you…Not while I'm around…" He needed this and somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she needed it to, to take the comfort and give her own, reassure him that she'd be fine while taking his strength for herself…While selfish she couldn't stop the train of thought and her hands moved around to his jaw and she pulled his head up, kissing him again. He groaned long and loud and his grip tightened, pushing his body into hers more, keeping her body immobile so that they could feel each other, feeling each others heartbeats, proof that they were okay. The threat had shaken them both as they both knew that it was her that Voldemort wanted, not anybody else and again she wondered how Harry lived with this fear. But then, thoughts of Harry left her mind when she felt Sirius' warm fingers against the smooth skin of her back where her white shirt had ridden up and a moan slipped from her lips and into the warm cavern of his mouth. She found her body moving automatically, because she wanted this – wanted to feel alive, and her small hands reached for the buttons of his white shirt and when she slid the button through the hole Sirius stiffened, like one does when the shower suddenly turns cold before he groaned, his muscles relaxing slightly and she carried till his shirt lay open and she pressed her hands to his muscular chest. His kisses became more heated and he tried to get closer to her, but Hermione didn't think they could get any closer; not even air could get between them it seemed.

"Sirius," she gasped and he moved his head back, pressing his forehead against his and she became aware that he was shaking, his body shuddering against hers. "What is it?" All she could see where his grey eyes, stormy like the sea before a storm and every cell in her body was focused on him.

"I can't loose you Hermione." He said quietly, not looking away from her eyes, "I don't know what you've done to me, but…Merlin, I love you."

Hermione swallowed at the truthfulness in his words and smiled at him, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to his lips. "I love you, too." It wasn't the first time he'd said the words, nor was it the first time he meant them, but this time seemed different to all the other times and Hermione didn't know why, couldn't pin-point the exact reason that this was the 'I love you' that send her heart flying, but it was.

He sighed and dropped his head to his shoulder and she rubbed his hands along his back comfortingly. What he needed he seemed to have taken and Hermione was willing to let him keep it.

"I love you," he said again, almost desperately and Hermione dropped a kiss to his temple, carding her hand through his silky hair. "Never again, Hermione."

"What's never again?" She breathed against his skin, revelling in the closeness of the moment.

He moved his head away from her shoulder and looked directly into her eyes as he reached for her right hand and she knew instantly what he was going to do.

"Sirius, no." She shied away from him (as much as she could against the stone wall), not wanting him to see the horrid scar that lay there, flawed her skin.

"Hermione." He said gently, pressing a kiss to the scar above her eyebrow that was barely noticeable, his hand holding hers gently and he moved back slightly, to reach for her sleeve. He rolled it up slowly, the word 'Mudblood' dark against her ivory skin and he breathed in sharply through his nose.

"This. Hermione, this will never happen again." He gestured to the scar and tentatively touched it with his finger before closing his eyes tightly. "I can't tell you how sorry I am." He said quietly.

"It's not your fault." She reassured him, tears pricking her eyes. She closed them when she felt his lips press to the scar and she sighed – he accepted her, completely for who she was and the scars she had and a tear slipped down her face. He loved her, wholly and completely and she felt exactly the same about him as she let her fingers trace the three long scars across his chest, that had faded and would one day turn a silvery white, almost unnoticeable in the future. Just like her own. It was the scars that hurt the most, she mused as he kissed up her scar slowly, alternating between light kisses and hard ones. Bruises heal with time, but scars stay forever, a constant reminder of the pain inflicted upon getting it, but with Sirius doing that, the pain vanished, just for a small while, and she concentrated on Sirius' lips, thankful to have been accepted.

Scars and all.

A/N: Back to college tomorrow :( So I won't be able to update as often, but I promise that I won't leave you hanging for two months like I did before (again, I apologise.)

Hope you like this chapter – I cant believe this story has fifty chapters…It's strange.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

Kelly

xxx