stand alone
Kara is a actually a cheeky little shit who will 100% go out of her way to annoy you and loves bad puns. When Lena and her start dating, it gets so much worse and there is an all out prank war.
Supergirl lands on Lena's balcony and walks right through the open door. "Hey, Le-" She stops. "Oh."
Lena is in the middle of a meeting with several people that are now all staring at Supergirl. Bringing a hand to her mouth, Lena covers the laugh threatening to escape. "How can I help you, Supergirl?"
Turning with wide eyes toward Lena, Supergirl smirks when she sees Lena's teasing smile. "I was just on patrol, and decided to make sure there haven't been any gaysassination attempts on you."
"What?" Lena raises her eyebrows.
"I thought it would be super nice of me to get a lead on any assassination attempts."
Lena blinks to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Everything is fine here, Supergirl."
"Excellent." Supergirl nods with her hands on her hips. "Contact me if you need any help. You know I can easily blow away any threats."
Lena takes a deep breath to remain calm in front of her guests. "Of course, Supergirl."
Supergirl smiles at everyone in the room. "I hope all of you have super days."
"You already used the "super" pun," Lena whispers, so only her girlfriend can hear. "Thank you again for you concern."
A ghost of a wink is thrown at Lena before the hero leaves the way she came.
Winn groans in frustration and takes a large sip of her soda.
"What's wrong?" Kara rolls to Winn's side on a wheeled chair.
"I'm trying to get through this firewall. I can't seem to get close enough." Winn rubs his eyes.
"You should be careful about getting too close to firewalls? They can be pretty dangerous for humans."
Winn's eyebrows pinch together, and he looks at Kara. "What?
"You wouldn't want to get burned."
Rolling his eyes, Winn focuses on his computer again. "Goodbye, Kara."
Laughing, Kara pats Winn's back. "I'll go get you some aloe." Winn bats her hand away from his back, and her laughter flows back to him as she leaves.
Alex shows up an hour later. "Hey, Winn?"
"Yeah?" He spins his chair around to face her.
"Was Kara here?"
"Yeah, why?"
"How long ago?"
"Um, maybe an hour?"
Alex laughs. "Wow." She walks past him and pulls off a paper taped to his back. She drops it in his lap as she continues to walk away.
"Dang it, Kara." The paper says "Gone Phishing" in her handwriting.
"Miss Luthor." Jess' voice comes through the intercom.
"Yes?"
"Miss Danvers asked me to pass along a message."
"Go ahead." Lena continues writing.
"I'm not entirely sure what the entire message means because she asked me to say this word for word."
Lena sets her pen down, already rolling her eyes. "Just tell me what she said."
"Tell Lena my schedule will be up in the air with work this afternoon, so I won't be able to fly by for lunch. Tell her she better eat, and that I ordered delivery for her that is out of this world."
"Thank you, Jess." She groans as soon as the connection ends.
A few hours later, she comes back to her office from a meeting to see food on her desk. A note on the bag reads, "Orange you glad I got you a salad? See you tonight! Olive you!"
"A part of me wants to not even eat this." Lena shakes her head.
"Hey, Alex!" Kara walks into Alex's lab.
"What's up, Kara?" Alex asks while looking through a microscope.
"I got you an engagement gift."
Alex looks up long enough to see Kara's too wide smile before looking back down at her microscope. "If it's anything rainbow colored, you can go now."
Alex feels a breeze. She doesn't have to look up to know Kara is gone.
Kara at Alex's and Maggie's apartment, sitting on the couch, while Alex gets dressed. Maggie opens the door, and Kara instantly smiles at her. "Hey, Mags!"
"Hey, Kar." She smiles as she accepts Kara's hug. "Is Alex getting ready?"
"Yup! So what do you two have planned?"
"We're actually going to try out that new steak house that one of my detective buddies recommended."
Kara grins mischievously. "So that's where detectives go for steak outs?"
"Kara… No… That was so bad." Maggie finds herself chuckling and shaking her head.
"What was bad?" Alex asks from the doorway of their bedroom while putting in her earrings.
Maggie and Kara turn to Alex. Kara is wearing a wide grin. "You're going to the place detectives go for steak outs!"
"Oh my god. Goodnight, Kara."
Lena and Kara are sitting on Lena's couch. Kara is reading a book while Lena is working on her laptop.
"Hey, Lena?" Kara pauses her reading.
"Hmm?" Lena turns her head toward Kara.
"What do you call the security at a Samsung store?"
Lena groans and turns her attention back to her computer. "Why, Kara?"
"Aww, come on, Lena. The punch line is my favorite part of a joke."
Stopping her typing, Lena purses her lips before looking at Kara. "Really?... Punch line."
Kara has a cheeky grin. "Cause I'm Supergirl."
"I got that," Lena deadpans. Kara turns on her pout. "Ugh, fine. What is the security called?"
"Guardians of the Galaxy."
"You're not getting any tonight."
"Have I ever told you that I can hold my breath for 20 minutes?"
"Oh no." Lena groans.
"It's a good thing I have freeze breath, because you look dangerously hot."
Lena rolls her eyes. "I'm ignoring you now."
Kara scoots closer to Lena. "What if I asked you to teach me about human anatomy?"
"Hey, love." Kara kisses Lena on the cheek when she walks into her girlfriend's apartment. Lena is sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. Kara wraps her arms around Lena's waist and rests her chin on Lena's shoulder.
"Mmm." Lena turns her face to kiss Kara on the lips. "Are you hungry?"
"For what exactly?" Kara smirks at Lena.
"Food… for now."
"Yes."
"Good. Dinner will be ready soon. I made some super food for you."
Kara snorts out a laugh, releasing Lena and walking to get a glass of water. "You hate when I say that."
"That's not true. You just use that one far too much, but it's rather fitting in this situation."
"Oh… Okay." Kara shrugs. "How was work?"
They make small talk until the timer goes off, signalling that dinner is ready to be taken out of the oven. Lena pulls out the pan, serving Kara a rather large portion.
"Is this lasagna?" Kara asks.
"It's a recipe I found online for a super version of lasagna." Lena takes a bite to keep herself from grinning.
Kara begins eating with a smile. After she starts chewing, she narrows her eyes in suspicion. "Well played, Lena."
"Whatever do you mean, darling?"
"How many different superfoods did you sneak in here besides kale?"
Lena chuckles. "Wouldn't you like to know."
The next week, Lena finds Kara's retaliation in the form of her desk and everything on it carefully wrapped in Supergirl wrapping paper. On top of the desk, there's even an envelope that's wrapped in paper. The card reads, "I thought you would like starting your day with an early birthday present."
"My birthday is in four months," Lena says to herself.
While Kara is working on her laptop the next day at work, the screen freezes. Before Kara can react, the screen is working for her again. "Oh. Weird." She opens an article she has to edit. After reading a few lines, she notices something strange. She reads the rest of the document. "So that's how she wants to play."
Every letter, "L," was capitalized throughout the entire document.
Two weeks later, just when Lena allows her guard to be let down, thinking Kara is finished, she is proven wrong.
She is checking her emails on her phone when she walks through the door of her office. When she turns toward her desk from hanging her purse and coat up, she gasps and nearly drops her phone. "Kara!" She growls through gritted teeth, hoping her assistant didn't hear her.
Her balcony is overflowing with life-sized cardboard cutouts of Supergirl in different poses. Her heels click on the ground louder than usual as she walks to her desk. She calls her assistant on her intercom. "Hector."
"Yes, Miss Luthor?"
"I need you to get several people from custodial to my office to take some things to storage.
Lena invites Kara to the Luthor Family Children's Hospital for a carnival-themed family event. "I'm so glad you could come." Lena places a kiss on Kara's lips as they sit in the back seat of her car. "Are you ready?"
Kara smiles widely. "Let's go."
The driver holds the door open as they both slide out, walking through the doors hand-in-hand. News of their relationship is anything but new, and they have held the title of National City's Top Power Couple for several months. Cameras flash, but they are given space.
After an introductory speech, mingling for an hour, and taking pictures with children, the couple ventures to the games. A young girl gets Lena to play a game with her. Kara records the entire thing, falling even more in love with Lena. When the game ends, Lena bends down to whisper in the girl's ear. She giggles before skipping to Kara and tugging on her hand.
"Miss Kara?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Will you come play the paint game with me?"
"Sure." Kara agrees with a smile even though she doesn't know what game to which she is referring.
The girl pulls Kara by the hand as Lena follows with a coy smile. Kara's eyes go wide, and her jaw drops when she sees what the game is.
Narrowing her eyes, she throws a glare at her girlfriend. "You think you're clever, don't you?"
"Oh, I'm quite clever, my love." Lena winks at Kara and walks past her. She picks up one of the paintball guns filled with bright green paint balls to hand it to the little girl. "You can go first."
Kara crosses her arms. They watch the little girl step up to the line on the ground and hold up the child-sized paintball gun. She shoots off a few round that miss their mark.
"Would you like me to help you?" Lena offers.
"Yes, please." The girl smiles wide enough to show a gap from two missing teeth.
"Here's what you have to do." Lena squats down to bring her head on a level with the girl. "Look right here. You can close one eye if you want. Line this slot with what you want to hit." She smiles when the little girl's tongue sticks out in concentration. "Keep this part against your shoulder. When you are ready, pull the trigger."
The little girl takes a deep breath and squeezes the trigger. Three green splatters land on the House of El crest on one if the Supergirl cutouts. "I did it!" The girl squeals and jumps up and down on her toes.
"Great job!" Lena high fives the girl. "Your turn, my love." She smirks at Kara, holding the paintball gun toward her.
For the next two weeks, Lena has an assistant go into her office before her. She knows it may not be the nicest thing to do to an assistant, but they just believed they were placing her daily calendar or necessary documents on her desk for her to review when she gets there.
One day, she decides to drive to work since she plans on leaving early to stop by the DEO to work with Winn on a project. She steps into the garage, seeing an empty spot where her car used to be. "What the fuck?" Looking around, she doesn't see it anywhere. She pushes the lock button on her key fob. Taking a deep breath, she tilts her head up toward the sound of her car horn. "That little shit."
Her car is hanging from the ceiling by several thick chains.
"I'm going to kill her." She pulls out her phone to call her driver. "I'm starting to see the appeal of Luthors versus Supers."
Lena acts completely unfazed by the car prank, laughing it off and thanking Kara for putting it back on the ground. She allows Kara to believe she is in the clear.
When Supergirl is called to help Barry and his buddies, Lena seizes her opportunity. Although Lena plans to ask Kara to move in soon, she has yet to work up the nerve. She uses her key to Kara's apartment to execute her plan.
Kara returns in two days, going straight to Lena's apartment. Lena patiently waits two more days until Kara finally goes to her apartment. She waits another three days before showing up at Kara's apartment with dinner, making sure they don't end the night at her apartment like they usually do.
"Again?!" Kara stumbles into the corner of the couch. It's the seventh time she has run into a piece of furniture since Lena came over. "This has been happening for days. Seriously. What is wrong with me?" She sits next to Lena on the couch with a huff.
"What do you mean?" Lena is the picture of innocence.
"Ever since I got back, I keep running into stuff all over the apartment."
"Really?" Lena's lips quirk suspiciously.
Kara's mouth falls open. "You… You… What did you do?"
Finally, Lena begins to chuckle. "I may have come in here while you were gone and moved all of your furniture two inches to the right."
"That's a special kind of evil."
The following week, Lena walks into her office. Jess had already been in there that morning.
She hangs up her coat and purse before going to her drink cart to pour herself a glass of water. A gasp escapes her lips when a goldfish falls into the cup with her water. Looking into the top of the pitcher, she sees two more fish swimming around in the water. "I'm going back to clear containers." Figuring the fish would be fine there for a few more hours, she leaves them in the pitcher and goes to her desk.
A little while later, she walks to one of her drawers to get some files. When it slides open, water splashes over the sides. "What the hell?" The drawer is lined with plastic, and several colorful fish are swimming around in the drawer. She takes a deep breath and leaves it open. "She will be cleaning my office tonight." The files are in another drawer, so Lena quickly gets back to work.
When she goes to her private restroom, she finds another fish swimming in her sink. "What is she planning on doing with all of these?" She shakes her head and goes to another restroom.
Walking back to her desk, something blue catches her eye on the balcony. She steps closer to the window to see a blue, plastic, children's pool in the corner of her balcony. "Really? More fish?" Shaking her head, she goes out on the balcony to investigate. Her jaw drops open when she sees what's moving around the water. "Where the hell did you get baby crocodiles, Kara?" She gapes at the squirming reptiles, unsure how to even respond.
Barry calls for Kara's help again. When they send her back, she lands in desert location of the DEO. She looks around in confusion. "What? Why?" She sees Winn walking by her with a tablet in his hands. He's wearing the DEO uniform similar to J'onn, but he's wearing a leather jacket with it. "Winn?" Winn continues walking, seemingly not having heard her. She jogs to his side. "Winn?"
He turns to face her with an uncertain expression. "What did you call me?"
"Agent Schott!"
Kara turns to see Lucy Lane standing with her hands on her hips, looking very displeased. "I need you out with the Suicide Squad… NOW!"
"Yes, Director Lane!" Winn nod and runs off.
"Director?" Kara looks at Lucy. "Since when?"
Lucy walks past her. "Is there a reason you're in my office?"
Kara begins walking with her. "Um. I, uh… What are you doing here?"
"Agent Danvers!"
Turning, Kara watches her sister rush up to Lucy. Kara's eyebrows rush up to her hairline when she sees what Alex is wearing. "Alex, what are -"
"Agent Danvers, have you finished studying that serum?" Lucy asks Alex.
Alex pulls out the tablet from under her arm and begins tapping. "I'm working on it, Director Lane." Her voice sounds so small and unlike Kara has ever heard. "I think I'm close to finding a way to reverse its effect."
"Good. Get on it."
Turning on her heel, Alex rushes off in all her cardigan-wearing glory. She's dressed exactly like Kara. "Wait, Alex!" Alex ignores her, so Kara turns back to Lucy. "What is going on here?"
Rolling her eyes, Lucy faces Kara. "What happened to you not coming here?" She whisper shouts at Kara.
"What?"
Lucy grabs Kara's arm and pulls her down a nearby hallway until they are out of view. She checks their surroundings quickly before grabbing the front of Kara's suit and pulling her into a kiss. Kara's eyes widen more than she thought possible, but she's too frozen in place to react beyond that. Lucy pulls back after a moment, but stays close. "You make it hard to keep this a secret when you just show up here."
Kara tries to speak, but it comes out as a squeak. She clears her throat, and manages to find words. "What - You - When - We… What?" Kara sputters.
"Hey, I need you to do me a favor."
"Y-You… I… What? Why?"
"I need you to go to L-Corp. Reporter, you."
"But -"
"Lena still thinks you two are friends. I need you to see what you can find out. Scan the place as best as you can. That serum is dangerous. It took away your cousin's powers. I don't want the same thing to happen to you."
"My cousin lost his powers?" Kara is feeling more and more shocked with every word from Lucy's mouth. "What's going on?"
"Exactly." Lucy kisses Kara's cheek. "That's what I need you to go find out. I'll see you at your place tonight. Now, go." She walks away, leaving Kara gawking after her.
"I, uh, guess I'll go see Lena?" She looks around as if someone will answer her.
Everything seems normal at L-Corp. Security allows her to go up to Lena's office without question. Jess keeps her nose buried in her work when Kara walks by her desk. Kara scrunches her eyebrows together, but doesn't bother the assistant.
"Hey, Lena!" Kara greets her girlfriend when she walks into the office.
Lena continues to type for a moment before finally looking up at Kara. She reclines in her seat, crossing her legs at the knee. Her eyes slowly rake up and down Kara's body, causing Kara to squirm slightly. Smirking, Lena slowly stands. She drags her fingertips along the top of her desk as she walks around to the other side, where Kara is standing. Her eyes never leave Kara's.
Leaning back against the desk, Lena licks her lips. "Kara, this is a surprise. I usually don't get to see you until after dark." She quirks her lips. "They haven't figured out that serum you brought them is a fake, have they?"
"Um?"
Reaching out a hand, Lena slides her fingertips along Kara's wrist. "That would be a bump in our plans." Lena's smirk turns devilish, and she wraps her hand around Kara's wrist before tugging her against her body with one tug. "But I'm sure it's a bump we can handle."
"Lena, what the -"
Lena cuts her off with a passionate kiss, her tongue diving straight into Kara's mouth. She pulls back when Kara starts breathing heavily. "It's a shame your brother and my cousin couldn't get along." She runs her hands up Kara's side. "But maybe not too much of a shame. You and I are much better suited to rule."
"Rule?"
"Yes, dear." She moves closer, stopping when their lips are just touching. "A Super and a Luthor. Who would have thought?" Her hands dig in Kara's hair as she tugs her into a heated kiss.
Kara pulls back after a moment, breathing heavily as she stumbles back a few steps. "Lena, this… We… You… I think… Oh Rao…" She brings a hand to her forehead. "I must have gone to the wrong Earth. Oh no." She looks around as if a portal will open to take her home. "We're some baddie team… Lucy is kissing me… Alex should never wear those clothes…" She continues to stumble around in circles. "And Winn had a gun! Lena, everything is like the opposite of what it should be!" Her eyes are wide when she turns back to face Lena.
A loud crash sounds, and the doors are thrown open as DEO agents come rushing into the office. Instinctively, Kara rushes to block Lena from the danger. Lucy and Winn aim guns at Kara as they approach them. "We know everything, Kara!" Lucy points her gun directly at Kara. "How could you do something so super evil?"
Kara's mouth opens and closes a few times as she sputters over her words. "Wait… No… It's not -"
"It's over, Kara!" Winn shouts. "No super excuses will get you out of this one!"
"What? No, I -" Kara feels Lena grab her arm, and unconsciously shifts closer to protect her.
Alex steps up beside Lucy with Maggie right behind her. "Don't bother, Kara! You super betrayed us!" Alex sounds so hurt.
"I didn't… I don't…" Kara sees Alex and Maggie raise guns. She stands completely in front of Lena. "What are you doing? This isn't… I landed in the wrong Earth!"
"Nice try!" Alex shouts.
Kara sees them pull the triggers in slow motion, but she can't move and risk Lena's safety. She raises her arms to fully protect this version of her girlfriend. Her eyes widen when she sees the green of the bullets coming from the four guns. She closes her eyes.
She never feels anything.
Peeking her eyes open, she sees everyone smiling at her. "Wh-What?" She looks down at he body. "What the hell?" Four green splatters are on her shirt. "You guys…" She looks back at her family and friends in front of her. They are all in various stages of holding in laughter. Spinning on her heel, she glares at Lena. "Lena?"
At that, everyone begins laughing behind her. Lena quirks an eyebrow and smirks. "Kara?"
"Don't give me that look." She turns back to everyone else. "And what… How long have you all been in on this?"
Everyone is laughing to hard to respond, so she turns back to Lena. "Don't start things, you can't finish, my love."
Kara's mouth falls open. "You… I… What?"
"Kara, one of those crocodiles bit me." Lena crosses her arms.
"You started it!" Kara huffs.
"I most certainly did not, but I absolutely finished it." Lena grins.
"Yeah," Maggie says, "there's no beating this, Kara."
Kara turns and glares at Maggie. "And you all just went along with this?"
Alex smirks, Maggie smiles widely, Winn shrugs, and Lucy crosses her arms with a satisfied look. "At least someone was able to get you back after all of these years," Alex says.
"I hate all of you."
"No, you don't," they all say in unison.
Kara goes home to Lena's apartment, leaving all of them to clean up the mess. She doesn't speak to Lena for two days, and avoids the DEO for a week. It takes nearly a year before she even says another pun again.
