Chapter 52

The leave

Order meetings were anything but rare these days. Everyone had heard about Harry breaking into the ministry and Hermione was still on the list of Muggleborns wanted for interrogation. As none of three had been telling the order what they were doing exactly, they just did their best to not stand in their way. All they could do was keeping up 'Potterwatch', trying to help Muggleborns escape the snatchers and guessing at what Harry's mission was about. The boy and his two best friends were the last hope of the wizarding world, even if no one wanted to admit it. If this mission didn't include bringing Voldemort down, or if they should fail, the wizarding folk had nothing to show in response to Voldemort's tyranny. Every day, there were new names on the list of people wanted for interrogation, muggleborn or not. The Daily Prophet wisely kept quiet about the deaths of those people. It was 'Potterwatch' that informed the interested opposition to Voldemort's new regency on those occurrences.

Minerva often stayed in Hogwarts then, being too busy with watching the new headmaster, Severus Snape, traitor and murderer of Albus Dumbledore. Though she admitted once that the Carrows were worse. She had to fear for her pupils and Molly shook with sorrow whenever Minerva mentioned the new learning methods at Hogwarts. Everyone assured her that Ginny would be all right and that she had lived through worse, but somehow that didn't calm her down that much.

September ended and October was in its beginnings when the first waves of war hit the Tonks' house. One morning, Tonks was sitting at breakfast with her father, both being up early. Andromeda was still sleeping, as Remus did. Ted had been woken by sorrows and Tonks, being into week 17 by now, by her bladder. It was still too early to actually eat something, so they just sipped their tea and waited for the rest of the house to wake up. Ted busied himself with the Daily Prophet when suddenly he went pale as a sheet. His hands shook madly, causing the paper to rustle and his daughter to look from her mug.

"Dad, what's wrong? You're so pale."

Ted's lip quivered, but he tried to keep his voice steady.

"Everything's fine, darling. Just an old classmate who appeared on the list. But they haven't caught him now, I suppose. Would be in the Prophet."

"Not if they killed him."

Ted startled at the tone of her voice.

"Oh, Dad, sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that everyone seems to die or to be searched for by the ministry these days. I fear I've turned a bit numb. I'm really sorry.", whispered Tonks, close to tears. Immediately, Ted regained a bit colour and hugged his daughter to him tightly.

"It's okay, Dora, it's not your fault. You didn't mean for any of this to happen. It's natural to turn numb, otherwise you would be crying all day and that wouldn't be good for the baby. It's better when you don't beat yourself up about it."

He rocked her back and forth, as he had done when she had been a baby. She calmed down in his arms and finally offered him a weak smile. Her glowing eyes still glistened with unshed tears, but it was better than actual crying. Ted did his best to smile back, hiding the newspaper behind his back. He didn't want to know the distress Tonks would be in should she learn whose name actually was on the list. It was no other than Theodore Tonks.

XxxxxxxxxX

Later this day, Ted sneaked down into the kitchen, a packed bag under his arm. He had waited until the others had fallen asleep. He didn't know if he had the strength to argue should they learn about his plan and try to stop him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he admired Remus for being able to leave when Tonks had begged for him to stay. He knew he couldn't look into his daughter's eyes, or in those of his wife, without giving in. But he had to leave. He was on the list. The ministry was looking for him. And he knew his two women. They would stand in front of him, fighting for him. But they shouldn't have to. If he wasn't there, then there was no reason to fight. His pregnant daughter wouldn't endanger herself and his unborn grandchild and his Dromeda would stay save. She was a pureblood, after all, even if she had married a Muggleborn. In the back of his mind, Ted probably knew that his flight was senseless. The house wasn't safe, anyway. They would come sooner or later, looking for Remus or for Tonks for being members of the order. But for now, they would stay out of harm's reach.

All of a sudden, the kitchen was lit brightly. Slowly, Ted turned around. He knew who had caught him before he could see the lean figure of Remus Lupin standing in the doorway. Remus had seen right through him when he had come down for breakfast. If anyone knew how guilt and thoughts of flight expressed themselves on a face, then it was him.

"You know it already, right?"

"I saw it in your eyes this morning. And I found this"

He held up a copy of the Prophet.

"You won't stop me?"

"It's not my task to stop you. You didn't stop me back then. You knew what I was going to do but you didn't do anything to hold me back. I'll return that favour."

The look in Remus' eyes told Ted that his flight would be of no use. But he still felt he had to do it. A smile crossed the older man's face. Now he knew what had been going on in his son-in-law's mind when he had left his Dora.

"Will you return?" Remus' voice was hoarse, even more so than usual, and Ted thought he could see tears glistening in them.

"If I can. When this is over.", he whispered, swallowing hard. "You know what they are like. They would try to protect me and I hope you understand that I can't let them. Not with things as they are."

Remus nodded. Ted felt his own throat tighten with upcoming tears. Quickly, both men looked away from each other until their emotions had lost their grip on them. It wouldn't do any good if they started crying over his leave. It felt like a bad omen. As if he wouldn't return. And who knew? Maybe he wouldn't. He didn't want to imagine the tears Tonks and Andromeda would cry should he die on the run. There was one thing left to say.

"If I don't come back-", Remus tried to interrupt him at that point, but Ted held up his hand to silence him. "No, let me tell you this before I go. I want you to care for Dora and Dromeda. You'll be everything they'll have left if I... well. You and the baby. I swear, if you let anything happen to my daughter or my grandchild, not to speak of my wife, then I'll return, no matter where I'll be and if I'm still alive. If need should be, I'll raise from the dead to kill you in person."

Remus just nodded, still unable to speak.

"Right. Then it's time to go for me, I think. Don't wake them, please."

The werewolf shook his head and took a step back so that Ted could get out of the kitchen. They shared one last rueful smile, then Ted disapparated in the cool night air.

Remus sighed. He knew that he would have to explain a lot. Tonks wasn't dumb, she would know that he had been guessing at her father's intention. After the first shock, she'd probably try to kill him for letting him go. But there was nothing Remus could have done. He could have told them that he assumed that Ted would leave tonight, but he'd probably have gone anyway. It only would have made things worse. The baby was important right now and the less Tonks got upset, the better for their child. She'd be crying for a few days, but hopefully everything would come out fine and Ted would return as soon as Harry had won over Lord Voldemort. Ted had let him leave and everything had turned out fine. Though somehow, Remus had to admit that he felt deep down that this wouldn't end so well.

XxxxxxxxxX

The following morning turned indeed out to be horrible. Andromeda woke to a cold right bedside. She immediately knew what was going on. She had noticed Ted's strange behaviour the day before, but had ignored the dark presentiment. She had wished that he wouldn't do that, that her husband wouldn't leave her. It was senseless, anyway. Sooner or later, Death Eaters would knock on that door. For her daughter, for her son-in-law, for herself. She was a bloodtraitor, after all. Sighing, Andromeda fell back into the pillows. It was no use checking whether she was right now. Desperation would come soon enough as it was. She knew she would read his name the moment she'd look at the list of Mugglebornes wanted for interrogation in the Daily Prophet. Trying to hold back the tears, she closed her eyes. She would cry soon enough. It was better she kept her tears for when she really needed them. She wanted desperately to hope, but she sensed that this wouldn't have a happy ending.

Tonks on the other side of the house woke up to a much more pleasurable sight. Her head was resting against Remus' chest and she could feel her bump between them. It had grown slightly bigger since it had first showed two weeks before. Molly had already congratulated her on it on one of the many order meetings they had had those last two weeks. Warm, comfortable and completely happy, she pressed herself against her husband and sighed in contentment.

"Morning, Dora", he whispered into her bubblegum pink hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. Tonsk responded with a giggle.

"Morning, love. I didn't know you were awake. Usually, I'm the one getting up first."

"You've already been up two times." He smiled into her colourful spikes. How he had feared that she'd discover Ted's absence! But on the other hand, she had just been to the toilet, why should she learn about his flight on her way?

She made a sound that should probably imply agreement and was interrupted by a huge yawn. She rose her head to steal a quick kiss, then made herself comfortable on his chest once more.

"Dora, darling, don't you think we should get up some time soon?"

"Why? How late is it?"

"Half past nine."

"Don't have work today. It's Sunday. There's no Potterwatch today, right?"

"No, there isn't."

"Then let's just stay in bed a little longer. It's so rare I have you here."

That was true. When he returned from Potterwatch, she was already knocked out. And they had had many shows since they had gotten over the password problem. No Death Eater knew that Dumbledore's phoenix was called Fawkes and if they did, they most certainly wouldn't mouth that name for the whole content of Gringotts. So they had agreed on the name as latest password after their narrow escape from the Death Eaters two weeks before. It seemed to have worked out, as they still had many listeners. They discovered their handwriting in actions against Voldemort. There had been banners in the ministry, propaganda against the new government printing information only known to the order and the audience of 'Potterwatch'.

Trying not to think about the discovery she'd make later in the morning, Remus answered by showering her neck in soft little kisses. She squirmed in his firm grip, laughing until tears ran down her cheeks. Immediately, Remus regretted his actions. She'd shed enough tears without him. But he hadn't time to think about it, all of a sudden Tonks threw herself at him and he forgot that Ted even existed. Sometimes, Remus was very grateful for those pregnancy hormones.

Some time later, Tonks decided that she had spent enough time in bed. She got up, which took some time as she was still a bit sticky with sweat, as was Remus, so that they were almost glued together. Laughing, she finally freed herself from his embrace and made her way to the shower. Remus followed her, hoping for another go. Bliss was still reigning his brain, no thought of Ted could be found.

This changed instantaneously as they discovered a weeping Andromeda in the kitchen when they finally got out of the shower.