Author's notes:
Sad chapter. Please don't hate me... *hides away*
Emy
James jumped on Midnight's back without a single second thought. The stallion felt the need in his heart and started running the very second he felt his master safely settled on his back, easily clearing the fence around his meadow and heading for the forest.
James leaned down on Midnight's neck, fisting the stallion's rough mane, allowing the animal to carry him away.
Wind messed his hair as Midnight galloped full speed through the familiar forest to the lake.
"Run Midnight. Take me away." James whispered. Away from his family. Away from his troubles. Away from having to face people and pretend everything was fine when he was nothing but broken. Still, Midnight couldn't take him away from his aching heart.
The stallion whinnied, shook his head and pushed himself further, faster, passing their usual resting place, deeper into the forest, over fallen logs, small streams and soft ground. James held on tighter than he'd ever had feeling his body shake and shiver to the bone - not from the cold wind rushing all around him, but from the emptiness inside of his heart.
At one point Midnight began slowing down until he stopped completely. That's when James realized that at some point he had closed his eyes. He opened his them and a couple of hot tears fell down his cheeks before his sight cleared as he angirly wiped his salty tears away.
Midnight had stopped in a beautiful small clearing covered by lush green grass and small white and yellow wild flowers. It was a sight to behold. James froze on the stallion's back so Midnight whinnied again, hoofing at the ground as if to tell James to get off his back. James swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and jumped off Midnight's back allowing the animal to graze without restraint.
"Katie would have loved it." James whispered. Another tear fell hot and salty against his cheek. He missed Katie like air, but had accepted, or, rather, he had fooled himself into thinking he had accepted her decission to leave in pursuit of her career. Now that Logan and Kendall had butted in he could clearly see just how broken he really was and just how much he wished that Katie would come back to him.
"It will be a cold day in hell..." before Katherine Knight changes her mind. James finished his thought inwardly, afraid to speak her name out loud. It felt as if he'd be invoking the-one-who-shall-not-be-named if he did. Though that would most likely lead to something good as it would finally bring Katie back to his arms. James looked down. Empty, lonely arms they were without her. He wrapped his arms around his own torso trying to fille them up with something, anything, closing his eyes to stop the flood he felt coming.
"Katie..." He whispered to the wind, almost wishing that invoking her name would work and she'd come back to him right then and there.
Midnight came to him and muzzled his big soft nose against the back of James' head. James couldn't help a small sad smile, his hand caressing the satllion's neck. His tears fell through his closed eyelids, breaking his very last barrier. So he did the only thing he could - he opened his eyes once again and allowed his tears to flow freely, his vision blured.
Quiet sobs shook him to the core. And James allowed it as, here, in the open air, he had no one to hide from. Not anymore.
Midnight simply stood by him. Hoofing the ground quietly. Almost suffering with his master.
James could not have been more grateful for his stallion.
As the sun went down over the quiet clearing James calmed down enough to mount Midnight once more and nudge him lightly to head back home. He grabbed fists full of the horse's mane and leaned back into his strong neck, closing his eyes, trusting Midnight to know the way on his own, as he always did.
He paid no attention to anything but the movement of Midnight's muscles under his body. His stallion was nothing but pure strenght, pure power. And the movement soothed James' heart somewhat.
When he felt Midnight jump over a high obstacle he knew they were back home. He opened his dry eyes and straightened his back, gently dismounting his stallion, caressing his rump for a little while longer before heading for the main house.
He heard Midnight whinny and turned to see his horse meet up with Feather. The mare threw her head back, shaking her own mane. Midnight mirrored her actions then playfully stood up on his hinde legs. Feather broke away running and Midnight followed her, playing around with his mate.
James smiled sadly, jealousy sneaking into his broken heart seeing as everyone, even his stallion, had his better half, his mate. Everyone except for him. Tears began prickling the corners of his eyes so James turned away and rushed to the house.
"James..." Logan called to him once he got back to the house.
"Yeah...?" James answered, his head down, his leg on the first step of the staircase, his hand on the railing.
"I'm sorry I meddled..."
"It's ok, Logan... I know you mean well... It's just..." James caught himself feeling the new wave of tears coming back to the surface. "Katie needs this. I can't take it away from her. She'll hate me if I do. She'll... she'll hate either one of us if we do... I don't want Katie to hate me..."
Logan was suddenly by James' side, a hand on his shoulder.
Except Logan's support was more than James could handle in his vulnerable moment so he broke down, much like Logan had a few months back when Camille had come back to their lives, falling to his knees. Logan did exactly what James did for him back then. He hugged his friend and allowed him to cry all he needed.
When Jo and Camille came into the hallway to see what was wrong with James Logan chased them both away with a shake of his head. Jo nodded quietly and pulled Camille away seeing as the brunette was already tearing up.
When James calmed himself down Logan quietly helped him to bed, taking off his friend's shoes to allow him to settle between the empty sheets.
