2016

December

At Zi Wei's wedding, Xiao Yan might have thought it was too long a wait until her own wedding, but time managed to slip through her fingers when she wasn't looking. It usually did. So December came and Xiao Yan found herself at another wedding - Yong An's wedding – that was to be a much better representation of what she could expect to happen at her own wedding than Zi Wei's wedding could be.

Before she could get to her wedding, however, it had to be planned first.

And Xiao Yan had never thought before about how much work was involved in the process.

"So, I promised my parents I would check. We are calling you Xiao Yan on the wedding press release and invitation, right?"

The wind of that Friday seemed to cut like glass, and neither Xiao Yan nor Yong Qi had wanted to venture out for dinner. They agreed about this sometime around three in the afternoon over a series of text messages, and Xiao Yan picked up food for the two of them on her way to Xian Fu Gong from work. Now, sat on either side of a low table with the kang warming them, they were both focused on their individual laptops. Before Yong Qi posed his question, the only thing that punctuated the comfortable silence between them had been the rhythmic clicks of keyboards.

Xiao Yan looked up at him, baffled. "Yes, of course."

"Well, they wanted to make sure you really wouldn't just prefer Fang Ci," he explained.

"Would the rest of the world know who Fang Ci is?" she asked through giggles. "Imagine if the press release managed to imply you're marrying someone completely different from me."

"That would certainly give them plenty to write about," Yong Qi said, laughter twinkling in his eyes. "But still, Ah Ma wanted me to check."

"Yes, Xiao Yan is fine." There was a pause as she chewed on her bottom lip, lost in thoughts. Giving Yong Qi an anxious look, she added, "Though…since obviously, my brother and adopted parents will be involved in the actual wedding, that whole thing about me discovering my real family and birth name will have to be…I don't know, announced in some way, right?"

"If only to stop people from wondering who they are once they are seen at the wedding, yes," Yong Qi said. He thought quietly for a moment, before placing his laptop on the table and pushing it slightly away. "Household sent an email earlier – you haven't seen it?"

"I've seen the email but I haven't read it," Xiao Yan said, eyes on her own laptop as she began logging into her inbox to find the email in question. "What is it?"

"The task list of wedding preparation and who does what and when and things like that," Yong Qi said. "Anyway, my point is, one of things on the list is that we need to meet the Imperial Household Press Office within the next week or so to discuss the press release, which is basically the wedding announcement. We can discuss this situation about your family with them then to get their advice."

"A press release so early?" Xiao Yan asked, looking up from the task list attached to the email, which was a scary-looking twenty-page thing, and even then, from the look of it, was only supposed to be taken as bullet points. "The wedding's literally, like, seven months away."

"Yes, but the moment they start to make any kind of preparation that involves outside suppliers, our chances of keeping the planning process a secret is essentially zero. We might as well get the announcement out of the way, so we can actually get on with the planning."

Of course, that made sense, and Xiao Yan found herself nodding in agreement.

"It looks like Guan Shu Er is going to handle this press release – "

"Not your Communications Secretary?" Xiao Yan interrupted with a slightly surprised look.

"No, because I'm not making my own wedding announcement. My parents are doing that so it's being handled by their Communications Secretary," Yong Qi explained. "I think that we should email her first to brief her about the situation with your family so that she can actually think about the approach before we meet her. Let's not make her job more difficult than it already is by making her think on her feet."

Xiao Yan nodded. "Seems like a good idea. You or me?"

"You, certainly."

"You just want to pass off the work."

She shot him a long, only half-serious, sidelong glare as she said this. However, Yong Qi was amused.

"Only you'd know how much you want to tell her – and consequently, everyone else," he pointed out.

This drew a long sigh from Xiao Yan, because of course, this was true. Yong Qi's smile widened.

"You don't have to do it now," he said, as he made his way over to sit next to her.

Putting his arm around her, he also pressed a kiss against the side of her neck. She struggled half-heartedly, but as she didn't really want to escape him, it was only too easy for him to win and pull her onto his lap.

"We have wedding plans to talk about," she said against his lips, but was not so against what he was trying to start that she would push him away too determinedly.

He pulled away long enough to grin at her. "And as you said, the wedding is in seven months. We've plenty of time."

"Not according to the empress."

"Hmmm?"

"She asked me today if we've given any thoughts to the guest list."

"Oh right." To her admitted disappointment, he pulled away from her now and reached for his computer. After a few taps, he turned the screen around so that she could see it. "We will have complete final say on family and friends, so we can talk about that later, but Household will be giving a list of suggested dignitaries. I asked Laoda to send me the list from his wedding."

Xiao Yan leaned over to Yong Qi's computer and scrolled through the list. Then, slowly she looked up and stared at him.

"Where it says President of the United States…" she said in a carefully controlled voice.

Yong Qi seemed to be striving to keep his expression blank, an effort only marred by the pursing of his lips.

"No," Xiao Yan almost yelled, physically recoiling from the computer. "We are not inviting a mouldy prune to our wedding!"

"He will officially be the president by then, Xiao Yan," Yong Qi said, sighing. "It would be undiplomatic to not invite him."

Xiao Yan snorted in disgust. "What on earth makes you think he cares about diplomacy? Besides, he clashes with the colour scheme."

"Xiao Yan – "

"It doesn't matter!" She threw up her hands in agitation. Her voice turned to desperation. "I don't want to ever meet him, because he will say something that will make me punch him in the face. It's our wedding, Yong Qi! I don't want to invite him to our wedding! And honestly, my brother's going to be there. Even if I could promise you I'll behave, I can't say the same of Xiao Jian."

"I don't want to invite him either," Yong Qi admitted.

"Thank Heaven you're saying that!"

He was quiet in thoughts for a long moment, then sighed again. "I will talk to Ah Ma and Household to see if we could get away with removing him from the guest list, at least for your comfort. After everything they have said to me about how we should feel free to ensure the guest list is what we want, they should allow us this. But even if we don't invite him, chances are, we might still have to meet him at some other point, Xiao Yan."

"I don't know, maybe he gets impeached first. Or assassinated. I'm not really fussed about which."

Yong Qi closed his eyes and shook his head, but he couldn't stop the corner of his lips from twitching, either.

Xiao Yan gave him an exasperated look. "What?"

Wisely, Yong Qi decided to let it go. "What about the other names?" he asked, gesturing to the computer.

She shrugged. "If it's normal practice, then I don't think I mind."

"So you just minded the pumpkin in a wig."

Xiao Yan gave a derisive laugh. "Yes."

"All right," Yong Qi said, after a beat of thought. "The list is always meant to be cut down, anyway. This was for Laoda's wedding. Ours can be trimmed down."

"Just…make sure it's actually trimmed where it needs trimming."

Yong Qi nodded and gave her a smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand. It managed to make her feel marginally better.

She yawned. "Well, that was an exhausting subject of conversation, for all that it took about three minutes. Can we do the rest of this later?"

Yong Qi closed the lid of his laptop. "I think we've better."


PRESS RELEASE: Prince Rong is to marry Miss Xia Xiao Yan

The Emperor is delighted to announce the upcoming marriage of Prince Rong to Miss Xia Xiao Yan.

The wedding will take place on 17 July 2017 (24th day of the 6th month of year Ding You) at Xian Fu Gong, with a wedding banquet to follow at Tai He Dian. Further details about the wedding day will be announced in due course.

Miss Xia Xiao Yan was born Fang Ci, to Dr Fang Zhi Hang (PhD) and Dr Du Xue Yin (MD), both originally of Hangzhou, Zhejiang. Dr Fang Zhi Hang was a professor of Classical Chinese at Yong Le University, a university his daughter would later choose to attend, unknowing of its connection to her father. Dr Du Xue Yin was trained at Beijing University of Medicine, and later worked at Xuan Wu Hospital, a hospital affiliated with the university.

Dr Fang Zhi Hang and Dr Du Xue Yin married in 1980. In 1987, a son, Fang Yan, was born to the couple, followed by a daughter, Fang Ci, on 12 March 1990.

In the summer of 1991, the Fang family were involved in a car crash, during which Dr Fang Zhi Hang and Dr Du Xue Yin regretfully lost their lives. Their children were taken to an orphanage, where they were subsequently separated. Miss Fang Ci was eventually transferred to Bai Yun Orphanage, Beijing. Lacking identification at the time of transfer, the staff at the Bai Yun Orphanage renamed and reregistered her as Xia Xiao Yan, which is the name she continues to use until this day.

Master Fang Yan was located by Mr Jiang Su and his wife, Mrs Wan Mu Hong, close friends of his biological parents, who legally adopted him. After some years of being unsuccessful in finding his sister, the Jiang family emigrated to the USA, where they have since resided as naturalised citizens.

Miss Xia Xiao Yan and Mr Fang Yan met while they were both in the employment of Lumos Beijing, a regional office of the UK-based child protection international non-governmental charity organisation. The acquaintance led them to discover that they may be related. DNA analysis later confirmed the relationship.

After learning about the family of her birth, Miss Xia Xiao Yan had since accompanied her brother Mr Fang Yan to the USA several times to meet Mr and Mrs Jiang.

Miss Xia Xiao Yan wishes to share this story of her birth and her current family to the public as part of the announcement of her engagement to Prince Rong. She has also indicated that she will keep her current legal name, instead of reverting back to her birth name of Fang Ci.

"I recognise that Fang Ci is the name my birth parents gave me, however Xia Xiao Yan has also been a part of me for too long now for me to convincingly change my identity," she says. "My brother and his adopted parents are telling me all that they can about my birth parents, and I believe I can still honour and respect their memory through learning about them and remembering the love they have undoubtedly held for myself, my brother and each other."

She has informed Prince Rong and the rest of the Imperial Family of these circumstances. Prince Rong has met Mr Fang Yan, first when he visited Lumos Beijing in official capacities and, later, several times in more familial situations, after Miss Xia Xiao Yan shared her family story with him. He, as well as the Emperor and Empress have also met Mr and Mrs Jiang, who, along with Mr Fang Yan, will represent the bride's family at the wedding.

Following the wedding, the couple will reside at Xian Fu Gong.


"Why is it so…dry?" Xiao Yan asked, looking up from the printed copy of the press release at Guan Shu Er, who was sitting across a table from her in the sitting room at Xian Fu Gong.

"It's a press release. They are meant to present only the facts, so they are very unemotional, so to speak," the Emperor's Communications Secretary said. "Even more so than news articles, which has some room for emotional bias. There is none in a press release."

"That's what you'd prefer, surely?" Yong Qi, who sat beside Xiao Yan, asked.

"Yes, of course, I'm not saying it's bad or poorly written," Xiao Yan said, looking primarily at Guan Shu Er. "You've covered all the facts we want to announce very well. The…tone just took me by surprise a little, that's all."

"All press releases read like stale rice, Xiao Yan," Yong Qi said, smiling. "If you want flavour, I can name several newspapers which will happily oblige and rewrite this with plenty of juicy embellishments within the day of the press release coming out."

"No thanks," she muttered.

"They will write them anyway," Guan Shu Er said, clearly trying to hold back her amusement and failing. "I am sure we'll even see a biopic of you in a few years' time."

"Oh Heaven," Xiao Yan groaned. "That's the last thing I need."

"Well, I doubt anyone would ask," Yong Qi said. "The movie will end up either being fluffy fairy tale or some angsty tear jerker, neither very true to life. Actually, I feel like we should be placing bets on whether you or Zi Wei will get a biopic first."

Despite of herself, Xiao Yan laughed. "I'm inclined to put my money on Zi Wei."

"Before you do that," Guan Shu Er cut in with a smile, "do I have both your approval on the text? The Emperor has approved, but ultimately both of you need to be comfortable with it."

"Yes, it's fine, Ms Guan, thank you," Yong Qi said. "Xiao Yan?"

"I'm fine, too. Thank you."

"Very well, then it's set to be published on the Palace website next Tuesday. At the same time as it going live, it'll be sent out to all our Imperial Correspondence contacts at major newspapers."

"I'm sure the Press Office phones will be ringing off the hook after that," Yong Qi said. "You'll be very busy."

"We are prepared for it, Sir," Guan Shu Er said.

"As always. Thank you again."

Guan Shu Er nodded in acknowledgement, and after shaking hands with both Yong Qi and Xiao Yan, she gathered up her papers and briefcase, and quickly departed.


When Xiao Yan knocked on Grace's door the next morning, it was admittedly with no little trepidation. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. Perhaps it was because this would be the first time she was telling anyone else other than family and very close friend about her upcoming marriage. There was probably no going back from this. She wouldn't be able to change her mind without some sense of embarrassment or loss of face after the news spread beyond those closest to her (and his family's staff). Not that she wanted to change her mind anyway.

"I need to talk to you about some news," she said as she sat down on the chair opposite her boss.

"You're getting married?"

Xiao Yan blinked owlishly for a second, as Grace watched her with a calm smile.

"Seriously, Xiao Yan, it would be the least surprising thing you say to me all year."

There was another beat, then Xiao Yan shrugged. "You said it, I didn't."

"But I'm right? You are?"

"Yes. The actual wedding still quite far off, but there's a press release going out soon, and I should tell you before the news break."

"Well, firstly congratulations!" Grace said, smiling.

Xiao Yan gave her a slightly sheepish smile back. "Thanks."

"When is it? The wedding?"

"July," Xiao Yan answered. "So you have plenty of notice about my resignation, though I guess don't start recruiting until the press release goes out."

"Of course," Grace said, laughing. "We won't start recruiting until closer to your leaving anyway. When would that be?"

"Yes. I've been told to aim for early June, about six weeks before the wedding, though it can be pretty flexible depending on how you get on with replacing me."

"I'm sure there's plenty of time to manage the date you want."

Xiao Yan looked around, a sudden wave of wistfulness swept over her. "I will miss this place, though. I learnt a lot here."

Grace smiled. "It's the job that does that, especially when it's your first."

"Yes, but thank you for the opportunity. The time I spent here really was invaluable, and from the way things are looking, we'll likely still work together in the future."

"Oh?"

"Well, the Empress Foundation is looking at starting a project working on equal access to education for girls in disadvantaged provinces, and it will require partnering with other donors and NGOs. The project would be operating as a separate entity and the idea – after months of discussion – is that Zi Wei and I would co-chair slash co-direct it – we haven't worked out the jargons yet. I'm sure we will be approaching Lumos for partnering opportunity in some capacity or other at some point…though technically I'm not supposed to tell you any of this just yet."

"My lips are sealed, then," Grace said. "You are excited about this."

"Well, yes, I am," Xiao Yan said, shrugging, "mostly because it means that at least my life after marrying Yong Qi won't just purely be smiling daintily and small talks and waving and cutting ribbons, none of which I'm actually very good at."

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Xiao Yan."

"I hope so," she said, feeling suddenly rather breathless. "Well, that's the plan, anyway."

"Well, congratulations to you on both these good news, Xiao Yan, and I really do wish you all the best."

"Thank you." Xiao Yan flashed a sudden grin. "And don't worry, you'll be invited to the wedding, as will everyone in the office."

"I wasn't about to fish on that score," Grace said, laughing and shaking her head. "But congratulations, again, Xiao Yan."


Yong Qi had made her a schedule, so to speak.

The press release was being published on the Palace's website and sent by email to the press promptly at 9AM that Tuesday morning. Expect every microblogging platform to explode within the hour complete with hashtags and certainly by noon, news articles covering the contents of the press release, discussing the new information about her family as well as speculating on the kind details of the wedding that neither bride nor groom had made any kind of decision on, would start appearing on various online newspapers.

Grace was to be out of the office for a meeting that morning, which meant that when the news break, all of Xiao Yan's colleagues would be on a long leash to gossip about it. This meant, basically, that she had just over an hour of peace at work that morning before she should just throw all hopes of accomplishing anything out of the window.

This was good news, she reminded herself, and she really did want to share. That was something that Yong Qi kept telling her, too. And yet, she was acutely aware that the enormous twists her stomach was making now wasn't about how the news would break – she knew how; she had read it, approved it – but how it would be received.

She really didn't know why she suddenly cared about how strangers thought about her life and the things that went on in it.

The first sign of the news breaking in her office came when someone crashed into the partition around Xiao Yan's desk, making her jump nearly out of her skin.

"Oh my god, is it true? It's true, isn't it?" Chan Yu babbled, not really giving Xiao Yan a chance to get a word in. "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I'm guessing the press release is out," Xiao Yan said mildly, looking up at the clock on the wall. 9:15AM. Guan Shu Er would be nothing but punctual; Xiao Yan's surprise was only at how fast the news reached her colleagues.

Ming Yue swivelled her chair around before either Xiao Yan or Chan Yu could say anything else. "What are you talking about, Chan Yu?"

Beside her, Cai Xia also looked up curiously.

"Aren't you guys on any kind of social media?" Chan Yu demanded. "Everyone's sharing the link."

"Of course we're on social media," Cai Xia said, "except we're busy…you know, working."

"Link to what?" Ming Yue said at the same time.

"The news has only been out for fifteen minutes, Chan Yu," Xiao Yan said, when her colleague in question ignored both Ming Yue and Cai Xia and only turned to her expectantly.

"So it's true?" she demanded again.

"Of course it's true!" Xiao Yan said, laughing. "It's an official Palace press release!"

"Oh. Em. Gee," Chan Yu gasped, actually spelling out the letters in English. "Really? Why didn't you tell us BEFORE?

"Because I literally wasn't allowed to…?"

"Whaaaa – ?" Ming Yue asked, looking from Xiao Yan to Chan Yu, still confused as to the subject of their conversation.

"Our boss is getting married," Cai Xia said in a singsong voice, looking up from her computer, apparently having located the announcement. "The Palace has just put out a press release."

Her announcement drew attention of everyone else in the room, and Xiao Yan soon found herself stuck at her desk while all her colleagues crowded around it with effusive exclamations of congratulations and excited chatter among themselves. All Xiao Yan could do was sit with her elbows propped on the table and her face cupped in her hands, looking up at them in amusement.

"Thank you, you guys," she said once everyone has managed to offer their congratulations.

"But that means you're leaving us," Ming Yue said. "That's so sad."

"I'm not leaving for another six months!" Xiao Yan exclaimed, laughing. "At least."

"Are we invited to the wedding?" someone else asked.

"Yes!"

"I don't know if it's going be worth it to attend this wedding. We might end up in deficit," Chan Yu teased. "I mean, how much do you put in a red envelope for an imperial wedding? Like, normally you're supposed to put in your share of the meal, but much do banquets at the Palace go for per head?"

"No red envelope!" Xiao Yan exclaimed. "Honestly."

"What?"

"We're not accepting red envelopes from guests at the banquet," Xiao Yan explained. "Only from family and very close, intimate friends who will be at the ceremony, which will be private." There was a beat. "Well, more or less private. Restricted, anyway."

"Seriously?" Ming Zhu asked. "Normal people come up with a profit after their wedding."

Xiao Yan laughed. "Normal people don't invite all the world's remaining monarchies to their wedding reception." She dropped her head on the table. Her next words came out muffled. "I don't recommend it, by the way. It's very stressful."

"And you won't make any money off it, either. Wow, that sounds like a horrible deal," Chan Yu said.

Xiao Yan's shoulders shook with laughter and by the time she raised her head, she had tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, well, we can't be seen to be making money at our wedding," she said through the remnants of her giggles. "Apparently. So, no red envelopes."

"So you're saying that you'll be having probably the year's most expensive wedding and you're paying for all of it yourself?" Cai Xia asked. "That really does suck."

"You guys do remember who I'm marrying, right?" Xiao Yan asked, squinting up at her colleagues. "We'll live. And if you really are that desperate to give me money, there will be a fund set up that people can donate to and all of it goes to charities…Come back to me on that later though, we haven't decided anything about it yet."

This announcement only led to her being immediately more peppered by questions, which eventually led to curious wonders of how long she had actually been engaged and how the whole engagement came about. Surprisingly, Xiao Yan found that she did not much mind sharing these details; if anything the attention and the ability to share gave her a new sense of mounting excitement. Then again, if she were to be completely honest with herself, Xiao Yan had to admit that there was a small part of her (okay, a pretty big part) that wanted to have the validation that came with knowing that people around here were truly happy for her and Yong Qi. After all, they were announcing their wedding! If she was going to get married in full view of a billion people, she would be glad for any knowledge that there were people who really did rejoice in the prospect of the wedding as much as the two of them and their families did.


2017

March

Zi Wei woke up to chill on her nose and could not go back to sleep.

For a moment, she only laid there languidly, her eyes still closed, listening to the familiar sound of Er Kang's even breathing.

When she did finally decide that it was time to open her eyes, she found herself confused for a second. Instead of the familiar ivory-coloured ceiling of their bedroom, she found herself staring at the yellow silk canopy and frames of a traditional lacquered wooden bed. Her confusion was brief, as she realised that instead of being in her and Er Kang's house, she was back in her old bedroom at Xian Fu Gong.

That was when she remembered. They had all gathered at Xian Fu Gong the night before, Saturday night, to celebrate Xiao Yan's birthday, which was actually today, Sunday, but none of them really wanted to risk a hangover on Monday morning. It had proved to be a good decision, as by the time they had called it a night, it was one o'clock in the morning. Er Tai and Sai Ya, Liu Qing and Liu Hong were close enough to return home, but there seemed little sense in Zi Wei and Er Kang attempting the distance to their house at that hour. They could have asked for someone to drive them, of course, but that would have required getting out of doors in the chilly March night. Zi Wei and Xiao Yan were intending to spend the day together anyway, so there was no point of Zi Wei going home only to return in the morning when Xian Fu Gong had more than enough room for them to stay over.

Feeling restless, Zi Wei got out of bed and dressed, making her way into the kitchen, not expecting anyone to be there this early in the morning. However, she was surprised when she arrived to find someone already there before her, sitting at the small kitchen table, mulling over already lukewarm tea and picking at a slice of the leftover birthday cake. It was even more surprising when that person turned out to be Xiao Yan.

"What miracle got you up this early?" Zi Wei asked, looking for a mug to make herself some tea.

Xiao Yan only gave her a decidedly half-hearted smile and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

Zi Wei poured hot water over her tea and then took to mug over to sit down next to Xiao Yan.

"You okay?" she asked searchingly.

Xiao Yan shrugged again, which was not a promising reaction. Before Zi Wei could think of what to say, Xiao Yan nudged the box that contained the leftover cake towards her.

"You might as well finish this with me," she said, "there's not enough for Yong Qi and Er Kang anyway."

Zi Wei continued to look at Xiao Yan with some trepidation for a moment, before going to get a plate and spoon. She knew that Xiao Yan, if left with the final slice of cake in the box, probably would just have eaten it out of the box.

Back at the table, Zi Wei eased the slice of cake from the box to the plate. For a couple of minutes, they sat side by side, each picking at their cake, not really eating, both with different thoughts occupying them.

Then, Xiao Yan sighed.

"What's wrong?" Zi Wei asked, deciding to try again.

This time, Xiao Yan looked at her, a thoughtful expression on her face that indicated that the answer was much more complicated than Zi Wei expected it to be.

"What is it like?" Xiao Yan finally asked, after another prolonged silence. There was even a longer pause before she would elaborate, giving any sense to her question. "Being married."

Zi Wei's first instinctive reaction was panic and she was unable to prevent the anxious frown descending on her face. Thankfully, she managed to hold back from asking out loud the myriad of questions that was threatening to escape from her, even if she couldn't help but ask them in her head.

What has happened? Are you having second thoughts about the wedding? What will happen if you call it off now?

Xiao Yan looked oblivious to the storm of increasingly alarming questions that were appearing in Zi Wei's head. She forced herself to think more rationally, and give her friend some credit.

No, Xiao Yan and Yong Qi were perfectly comfortable the night before, and they had even discussed the wedding at one point. They had both been relaxed and happy and laughing. If there was a problem, they wouldn't have been able to hide it. They were both horrible at it, especially when it came to their feelings for each other. Whatever was causing Xiao Yan to ask this question must have appeared sometime during the night.

"Did you and Yong Qi have an argument?" Zi Wei couldn't help but ask, though at the same time, she couldn't imagine what they could have argued about, considering they all only retired when all of them were quite tipsy, and surely that wouldn't give them much time before falling into bed for any kind of argument.

"No," Xiao Yan said, "we didn't argue at all. Actually, I don't quite remember the last time we had any kind of serious argument that wasn't just…you know, playful disagreement. Everything is…everything is fine. More than fine. It's perfect."

"But…" Zi Wei prompted, when she didn't continue.

"But…I don't know."

Zi Wei was quiet for a moment, savouring the cake frosting at the tip of her spoon. She tried to remember what it was like, being where Xiao Yan was at the moment, and thought about Xiao Yan's actual words.

"Everything's perfect," she repeated, then looked closely at her friend. "You're happy and comfortable together, as you are now. And you're wondering if you should even try to do anything to change that. If it's not broken, don't fix it?"

Xiao Yan nodded, stabbing her cake with her spoon. "Yes!" she exclaimed. "I mean, I know we can't just live together and call it a day, because there's still enough social stigmas associated with the idea to raise eyebrows. But if we're being honest, we're almost living together anyway. The only thing that moving in together would actually change is that I won't have to remember to actually go to my apartment every once in a while."

Zi Wei couldn't help it. She let out a laugh, which thankfully Xiao Yan joined in, though with less humour and more exasperation.

"What I mean is, why are we going through with all of this fussing and planning a huge wedding? It's all full of decisions that ultimately is supposed to be about pleasing ourselves but since there are too many choices of…I don't know, cake flavour and flowers and dress colours that half the time I don't even know what I want, and yet I'm deciding all this anyway while being scrutinised by the whole world and putting up with all the expenses which I'm well aware I won't have to pay but still it's bloody expensive. And the end result is just…a more intense version of what we're already doing now. I mean, the difference between getting married and living together, as far as I'm concerned, is…basically a piece of paper."

"It's a very important piece of paper, as far as the world is concerned," Zi Wei pointed out.

"Sod the world," Xiao Yan muttered. "People I don't even know have no right to judge what I do with my life."

"If only that's how it works."

Xiao Yan blew out an exasperated breath and took an aggressive sip of tea.

"It is different though," Zi Wei said. "I mean, put aside the title and everything that comes with that, because the trade-off is that you lose some of your freedom. But just two people being married is different than two people just being together."

"How?"

"For one thing, you're together all the time. I know it feels like that now, but right now, you still have the option of your own space as a backup. And as a backup, you don't want to have to fall to it, but the idea that it's there if you need it is a comfort and it works on your subconscious. I don't know, I feel like it's easier to avoid arguing about things that annoy you about each other if you know you can still step away. Ultimately you might not step away and you put up with it, but you have the way out as a comfort at the back of your mind. Once you've switched your brain to the fact that you're in this together and there's no exit – which is of course not true, but you know, relatively speaking – then you let things get to you a lot more."

"What kind of things?"

"I don't know. Silly things. Er Kang has a very specific system of how to arrange his clothes in the closet, and apparently, I'm still doing it wrong. According to him I'm still hanging his suits facing the wrong way, whatever that means. I don't even know how it matters. On the other hand, he seems to think the rice cooker is a magical pot that you can cook everything in, and I know it says on the instruction manual that you can make soup and porridge with it, but I want to draw the line of actually using it like a pressure cooker for a whole chicken, which for one thing, doesn't work…"

Xiao Yan burst out laughing, spraying the table with crumbs of cake.

"These are the problems, Xiao Yan! I'm serious!" Zi Wei said, though she was smiling also.

"I know you are," Xiao Yan said, brushing the cake crumbs from the table. "But marriage is a commitment for life. Wouldn't that mean you would have more tolerance and be able to not let such small things get between you?"

"In some way, yes, but on the other hand, they are things that are there in your life so constantly," Zi Wei said. "I mean, I guess the trick is recognising that these are small things, and the moment you're letting these disagreements blow to aggressive fights and you're hurting each other, then maybe the real reason you're fighting is another underlying reason."

Xiao Yan mulled over these words, lips clamped around the spoon in her mouth.

"It's not all the silly things," Zi Wei added. "I mean, you get used to the small things in time. We talk about different things now that we're married. We talk about money more than we did before, about how much we have and what to do with it."

"Money is not a new topic for me and Yong Qi, at all."

"It will be, though," Zi Wei contradicted. "The way you talk about it will be different, because it won't just his money anymore, it'll be yours, together."

Xiao Yan still looked disbelieving.

"Your perspective will change, Xiao Yan, trust me, even if you can't imagine it right now. And there are other big things, not just money. It's things like Er Kang's career change and the Equal Education Access project you and I are starting, how much our time that will eat up; how both are going to affect our lives; how we're going to adjust to that; or when we might want to have children and the preparations we might need for that; if it's not right away, then what we want to work towards in the meantime. And don't tell me you and Yong Qi don't have much choice in these matters. You do, you just also have limitations, and everyone has some kind of limitation. You just learn to work with yours, together."

Xiao Yan nodded thoughtfully and started nibbling at her cake again.

"And Xiao Yan, I think the big questions are in some way the easier ones to discuss and answer," Zi Wei added. "Those are the things that are going to have big impact but it'll be over time. The little things that affect your everyday life can seem like a much bigger deal, because they're there constantly."

"And the wedding…"

"Oh Xiao Yan, you had fun at our wedding! We all did and that's how it's supposed to be! I know yours and Yong Qi's will be a little different, but it's still going to ultimately be family and friends and fun. I know, right now, with all the preparations and organisation and everyone asking you left and right whether you prefer white or off-white table cloth, that's all very stressful, but that doesn't have to mean that you have to see it as a sign that you're doing something wrong."

"This is really silly, right?" Xiao Yan asked, putting her head down on her hand. "I mean, I just woke up this morning and it's like everything just smacked me in the face, and I just…"

She trailed off, shrugging hopelessly.

Zi Wei reached out and took her hand. "It's okay to feel overwhelmed, Xiao Yan, but I'd be surprised if you didn't find yourself overwhelmed at some point. You've organised events for work before. You know what it's like."

"It's not the same."

"It is similar. You go through all the stress and arguments and decisions, and in the end after everything goes off smoothly, you feel good about it all, don't you?"

Xiao Yan nodded. Zi Wei gave her an encouraging smile.

"And this is your wedding. It'll be worth it in the end. I promise."

After losing herself in thoughts for a few seconds, Xiao Yan finally looked up at Zi Wei and smiled back. Then she reached around to pull Zi Wei into a hug. "Thank you. I guess sometimes all I do need is just some cake and wise, calming words."

Zi Wei laughed and gave her a comforting pat on the back. "Anytime."