Kelly's Journey Continues

Chapter 51

Lee came into the house slowly still unsure of how to begin to tell his daughter about her late grandmother.

Going into the den he closed the door putting the urn on the desk and asked helplessly, "What do I do here, Rose? Where do I begin?"

Then Amanda came in hearing him and stated quietly, "Start anywhere you want, Sweetheart. It won't be easy. It never is. But just take your time with her about it."

Swallowing hard she noticed the urn and remarked lightly, "You know, there never is a set time to do something like this. Maybe if you try to do this tomorrow-"

Lee shook his head and growled at her, "No! Haven't you always told me that you should do things immediately because it will just get harder the longer you do wait?"

Amanda went to him and nodding touched his arm answering softly, "Yeah, but in this case-"

Lee pulled away from her and commented, "Honey, Kelly is just now realizing that she didn't get to say goodbye to Rose. She doesn't understand why. And Rose has been gone awhile now. I'm surprised the kid's not angry with me at all about this."

Amanda sat on the couch and shrugged lightly, "She-She loves you. You're her father-"

Lee went to join her and as he sat down he replied squeezing her hands, "And you're her mother. The best one anyone could hope to have in this world. She's upset with you now but she does love you. Don't-Don't ever doubt that for a second, okay?"

Amanda went into his arms and answered softly, "I-I can't reach her. She went upstairs to take a bath and wouldn't let me help her with her hair like she usually does. Jamie's up there getting her ready for bed..."

Lee chuckled as he kissed Amanda's temple stating, "Well, he won't wanna do that every night. Neither will Phillip. Trust me, Sweetie. She'll come around, soon."

There was a knock at the door and Lee queried, "Who is it?"

Phillip replied, "It's me, Lee. Okay if I come in?"

Lee answered, "Sure, Chief. Come on in."

Phillip came in and replied, "Sorry to interrupt. Mom, Jenny's awake and I think we're out of diapers. Want me to go get some more?"

Amanda sighed and got up responding, "No. There's some more in the linen closet if you and your brother had paid attention when I went to the store the other day and watched me put them there-"

She then realized he wanted to talk to Lee alone! She thought, What is it with these boys?

Leaving the room she stated, "If you want to talk alone with Lee, just tell me honestly. I just changed your sister not half an hour ago Young Man, and you know it! Goodnight."

Amanda left and Phillip looked at Lee and sheepishly commented to Lee, "Sorry. Guess I gotta work on my interrupting skills, huh?"

Lee chuckled commenting, "Um, talk to your grandma first. She knows all the tricks. What's up?"

Looking at the urn suddenly Phillip sighed and asked, "That's Rose?"

Lee nodded and clearing his throat replied, "Yeah. I'm uh, getting ready to tell Kelly about her. Why?"

Phillip queried slowly, "Well, do you know where she'll be buried?"

Lee shook his head uncomfortably answering, "No. And I'm not looking forward to the discussion here. I'm hoping that Kelly will tell me whatever she can about her life with Rose. You know, favorite flowers, music that Rose liked. I know she was only three when Rose died, but she did remember going to see Santa with her. Maybe there's some more we can work with here to give Rose a proper farewell..."

Looking at the time he responded, "Well, I'd better go talk to her."

Phillip shrugged and asked, "Need some help? I know it wasn't easy for us when Dad died."

Lee swallowed hard and winced replying softly, "Thanks, but I'd better handle this alone. Can you guys find something to do upstairs while I talk to her? I'd appreciate it."

Phillip nodded and leaving the room stated, "Sure. Good luck."

Lee waited until both boys went to their rooms and then headed up to Kelly's room.

She was getting a book out and got into bed when Lee came in responding warmly, "Hi, Sweetie. How are you doing?"

Kelly half smiled and answered, "Okay, I guess. Can you read me "Peter Rabbit" tonight?"

Lee swallowed and commented gently, "No, Honey. Maybe tomorrow, all right? But we need to talk. A-About Grandma Rose, okay?"

Kelly sighed and replied sadly, "I miss her. Do you think she misses me?"

Lee went to her and picking her up kissed her answering softly, "I'm sure she does, Sweetheart. Um, let's go downstairs for a bit, hmm?"

Kelly nodded and Lee took her downstairs to the family room and sat in the rocker putting Kelly in his lap and asked her slowly, "Pumpkin, what do you remember about your grandma? You told us about Christmas but was there anything else special that you did with her? I know you were a bit younger then and you may not remember much but-"

Kelly cut in, "She liked Rockaway. She liked shells."

Lee puzzled queried, "You mean Rockaway Beach, Honey?"

Kelly nodded adding, "Yeah. We went once. We saw a rainbow. It was nice. Can we go sometime? Jamie said he'd help me build a sand castle..."

Just then Amanda came in and remarked softly, "Hi, Sweetheart. I see you're all ready for bed, huh?"

Kelly looked at Amanda and then at Lee asking in a pouty voice, "Why's she here?"

Amanda's face clouded over and Lee sternly replied to Kelly, "Hey! She's your mother. She loves you very much and she wanted to be here with me to talk to you about Grandma Rose so you be nice, Young Lady. Do you understand me?"

Kelly slowly nodded and Lee sighed and continued responding,"All right. Now, remember the day you met your mom?"

Kelly responded quietly, "Grandma was sleeping. I couldn't wake her up. Mom had Grandma Dotty take me back to her house. Why couldn't I see her any more, Daddy?"

Lee's stomach was turning as he thought, The moment of truth.

Clearing his throat Lee began,"Well Sweetheart, Grandma wasn't just sleeping that day. She was sick."

Lee then took Kelly's hand and put it against his chest and asked gently, "Do you feel that?"

It took Kelly a minute to do so and she then queried, "What is that, Daddy?"

Lee answered, "That's my heartbeat. You know when the doctor takes his stethescope and puts it on your chest and back? Well, that's so he can listen to your heart to make sure everything's okay. It's the same for everyone...And-"

Amanda went to sit on the couch and saw Lee was hesitating on the next part so she added gently, "Honey, the day I met you? Well, Grandma Rose was sick and I didn't know what to do so I called the police and ambulance because that's what we're supposed to do when people are sick or in trouble. Do you understand?"

Kelly nodded but stated, "But I loved Grandma. I would've helped her!"

Lee kissed her temple and commented softly, "We know that Sweetie, but at that point Grandma Rose was too sick for anyone to be able to help her. She... She died, Honey. Her heart stopped beating. So when you thought she was sleeping, she... she was gone."

Kelly's face then scrunched up and she cried, "Like the goldfish?"

Amanda swallowed and slowly nodded as she whispered to her, "Yes, Sweetie... Like the goldfish. Her physical being is gone, but her spirit is always here with you just like Daddy and I said. She will always love you and she knows how much you loved her. And Honey, we'd like to help you say goodbye to Grandma Rose in a special way. So if you can think of things she really liked such as flowers or music or even pictures, I think that would make the day really special. Okay?"

Kelly was sobbing now and getting down from Lee's lap, ran from the room and went upstairs!

Amanda got up to go after her but Kelly came down again quickly tears still streaming down her face as she cried replying quickly with heavy sobs, "She liked sunshine and rainbows and b-balloons! Big blue ones!"

Kelly looked at Amanda then responding, "She liked those yellow things in the garden, Mom! Gr-Grandma Dotty puts those in!"

Amanda was stymied as she looked at Lee! What yellow things?

Then Lee remembered after he met Amanda for the first time and had been hiding in her bushes that she told him to "get off the tulips"!

He sighed stating, "The uh...tulips, Honey?"

Kelly nodded furiously and cried, "Yeah! Can we have those, Mom?!"

Amanda pulled Kelly to her for a big hug and kissing her answered, "You bet, Sweetheart! Anything you want..."

Lee's eyes were damp as he reached over to rub Kelly's back as Amanda held her tight and commented softly, "Grandma Rose is so proud of you, Baby. And we are too..."

Clearing his throat once more Lee stated gently as Amanda put her down on the couch getting a tissue and wiping Kelly's face, "There's one more thing I have to tell you about, Honey. It's about when people who we loved are gone and where they go before going to heaven."

Kelly sighed and queried, "Where, Daddy?'

Lee shook his head feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the question and remarked blankly, "Where? Well-"

Amanda continued for him answering, "It's a very special place called a cemetery where people go to pay respects for their loved ones. See, their family and friends go to church for a memorial service and then they bury their loved one in the ground. It- It doesn't hurt them at all there. And people go visit their graves as often as they want and say prayers and it makes the families feel better and they leave flowers on their birthdays or whenever they want."

Lee nodded and added taking Kelly's hand, "There's also this way. C'mere, Honey..."

He brought Kelly into the den and on the desk was the urn as he softly replied, "Um, sometimes people are cremated which means they're put in a very warm room and their bodies turn to a soft ash and you can scatter the ashes anywhere your loved one wants to be remembered. It can be any special place they've been or seen during their lifetime. Someplace they really liked..."

Amanda came behind Kelly and commented gently, "Sweetie, you think about it and let Daddy and I know and we'll do something this weekend, all right?"

Kelly nodded and stepped close to the desk and gulping answered, "She liked the balloon song, too."

It was Lee's turn to quizzically ask, "Balloon song? Honey, what did it sound like?"

Kelly sniffed and wiping her eyes as she looked at the urn responding, "It was about flying and stars and floats. That's all I know. I'm sorry."

She then stated quietly, "I love you, Grandma..."

Turning back to Lee and Amanda she asked, "Can I go to bed now? I'm real tired."

Lee caressed her cheek and nodded, "Sure, Sweetie. Let's all go up. It's been a long day."

As they all left the den Kelly queried to Amanda, "Can you tuck me in, Mom?"

Amanda swallowed and nodded, "Yeah, sure. Let's go..."

As the three family members went up Lee felt relief that their talk with Kelly had gone well and that their explanation passed muster. They did the best they could considering she was only eight years of age...