A/N: Shattered is protected by copyright! Try it and I will Sue!
Shattered
Darkness
Alec's Point of View
I am exhausted. I detest interviews. And none of the candidates I spoke with today have the vision and drive that I am looking for. I know no one can be Bobby or even Owen but I need someone who has the passion, someone who these kids can relate to. And until I find it I am stuck as a one and a half man show with guest rock stars. It's frustrating, but I won't settle, my kids deserve better than that.
Honestly, I am shocked there isn't a mountain of paperwork to do. I have Mike to thank for that. He has someone at Blackboard Entertainment making sure all the supplies are being ordered and dealing with the few issues that arise, while he himself is in charge of the books for now which is keeping the lights on and paying a cleaning company. I feel awful about it but it helps me concentrate of my kids so much that I can't seem to ask to take the responsibilities back. To be honest, the person I am looking to hire needs to be able to cook and hang out with teenagers.
The truth is though, at the moment, an extra person isn't really needed. A lot of my kids are spooked. I know they those who have left the center are going back to my old employer, telling them they believe I am haunted or something. It sucks but when two of the people I was relying heavily upon at the center, up and die, I can't blame the kids for wanting to be elsewhere. Never mind, most know that I was really good friends with the victims of the Darkest Desires fire. All of these murders are admittedly bad for business. But I am not giving up, my core kids still come, they still trust me. And if I am down to one person, who needs someone then I will open this place, just for them. I am not in this for a profit, I am in this to make a difference.
Today however, I don't feel the satisfaction I normally do when the day is done. I am filing the last of my paperwork to end the day. I should feel satisfied as I am finally caught up with all my patient files, and I have coordinated with Mike on a few upcoming events, and everything is in working order. But not having an assistant is bothering me and truth be told some of my kids issues are bothering me.
Still even with all this work something feels off. I can't place it but my body just feels sluggish or hurt. My stomach has been upset for the past couple of hours but I have been ignoring it. Trying to keep my mind is occupied with things that simply need to be done. But then it happens, I can no longer deny something isn't wrong when I look up and discover Ethan standing in my office. My breath stops in my lungs. My body jerks to it's feet.
"Ethan?" I question, knowing by the look on his face something is terribly wrong.
"We have to go now." He replies, softly.
"No." I reply angry. "No!" I scream tossing the contents of my desk. I feel Ethan wrap his arms around me, I struggle, unable to breathe. My head is pounding, I can barely see. Tears are streaming down my face. "No!" I cry in denial, as my soul shatters into shreds.
I don't remember much after that. Somehow I was taken out of the center, put into a car, and taken to the hospital. Ethan's arms are scratched to hell, I am sure he has bruises but I don't remember doing any of it. Reality doesn't hit me until I see Clayton lying there, on life support. I take his hand, shaking to the core. Carefully I find support on the bed Clayton is lying in. "Where's Mike?" I ask Ethan.
"I'm so sorry Alec." Ethan answers, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
Anger like I have never known boils inside my gut. "Tell me Clayton is going to pull through this." I reply firmly, no stranger to the sight of Clayton lying in a bed with tubes all around him.
"I wish I could." Ethan whispers, heartbroken. "I'm sorry Alec, but he is brain dead."
I weep like a small child. Flashbacks of our short life together come running at me like a freight train. All the smiles, the laughter, the freight over fabric. Half of me is dead. I weep until I can't weep any longer and only when I am exhausted do I realize Ethan and I am not alone in this room Clayton's father, Lilly and Monica are there too. Trying to find composure I lift up. "He wouldn't want this. His body needs to rest."
"You're his medical power of attorney since Mike . . ." Ethan replies, gently.
"Where's Brooke?"
"I'll get her." Monica replies.
I fix Clayton's hair, wishing he would open his eyes. I can hear the monitors checking his heartbeat and the air being pumped in and out of his lungs.
"Alec." Brooke whispers, it's obvious she too has been crying.
"He's always been a giver, donate his organs." I turn to Clayton's father who nods his approval. "His eyes, Brooke, be sure they go to a child."
"I will, I promise." She whispers, using the wall for support.
"Can you make this pain stop? Even for a little while? Because if you don't I think I am going to die right along with him."
"I'll get you some meds." Brooke whispers, leaving the room as quickly as she came.
Days pass in pure grief. I find myself standing in a graveyard, burying Clayton and Mike in the Reynold's family crypt, next to too many people I know. I am nothing but numb, I have absolutely no strength for any of this. My kids are here, trying to be supportive but they see me broken and seem to know there is some things you can't come back from. This is definitely one of those things. I stand here until the sun goes down and Ethan takes me home. I stare at him with dead eyes. "They are dead because of me aren't they?" I ask him when we are alone.
"The Dolore targeted them because of it, yes." Ethan answers.
"Alec, I've done some digging. There are still agents at Blackboard Entertainment. One gave me information for the right price." I give him a look of annoyance. "Chloe's was targeted because a mission went South with Rachel. Xzavier didn't kill you that day because he didn't see you as a threat. He was after the feds, no one else."
"His biggest mistake was keeping me alive." I reply coldly. "Did he tell you anything else?"
"Yes." Ethan frowns at me. "He told me Clayton drew and "X" with his own blood before he died."
Xzavier. Clayton knew his killer, his last act on this Earth was to tell us. "I am going to kill him Ethan."
"I know."
"We need to go see a lawyer first."
"What for?" Ethan asks.
"I'm giving the girls my portion of Blackboard Entertainment and my youth center."
"Your Youth Center?"
"Even if I make it out alive Ethan, I'm not coming back here." I answer.
"Where are we going?"
"Back to New York."
"You think he is there? Not here?" Ethan questions.
"Yes, and if he is anything like Bobby, he's waiting."
I don't wait for an answer. I don't care if Ethan tags along or not. I am so done losing everything and everyone I love. Xzavier wanted to destroy me, he succeeded. I am nothing bu anger now, ever last shred of my humanity died when Clayton was stolen from me.
I quickly make my way to the lawyers, updating my will and writing a letter to the girls asking that they do try to find someone to fulfill my dream. When that business is concluded I find myself at the airport with Ethan.
"You don't have to come." I tell him, keeping my distance.
"I'm going." He replies sternly.
Not in any damn mood to argue I buy two one way tickets to New York. I have no intention of living through this and I call tell Ethan knows it. He wants to be my life line, the one thing on this Earth that will keep me tethered here. I wish it were that simple. I wish I could avenge those I lost and walk off into the sunset with Ethan. But life doesn't work that way. Even if I miraculously live through this, I will forever change. Change into a man I will hate. It will consume me and I could never be the man Ethan once loved. No, I am going at this with the proper mindset. No matter what happens, I am no coming out of this alive. All because I once fell in love with a girl.
Ethan tries to make small talk, just attempting to figure out my mindset. But I am not very forthcoming. After the seatbelt light goes off and we are flying in midair, he stops trying instead just holding my hand, silently worrying. My mind drifts to the events of what happened after I made a blood oath to my new found family.
The threat of sharing a bed with Que and Lance had turned out to be just that, a threat. Que was hoping to talk me out of it but that didn't work. I chose to take the oath anyway. And the moment I did, I sealed a fate for myself I could have never imagined in a million years.
"Alec, you need to go through that door." Que frowns, "only you for now." I look at him skeptical and turn to Ethan. "Alec, look at me." Que tells me. "You can trust me, almost more than you can trust Ethan right now." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I have never lied to you." He added.
Cautiously I let go of Ethan's hand and walk to the door. I turn back, share a glance with Ethan who shrugs with a nod. Unsure what to expect I enter it. I am stunned to find a very relaxed Sebastien on the other side of it. "Come in Alec, the personal war between us is officially over." Unsure what to say to that I close the door behind me but keep my distance, waiting for an explanation of this odd turn of events. "Que said you spoke of her." He remarks with a weak smile. For the first time since I've known him, he wasn't angry. If I dare say, the man looks heartbroken.
Alec breathe, it's okay, he isn't going to hurt you. Glory's voice chimes in my head. "Her?" I reply thinking fast, "You knew Glory?"
"Tara." Sebastien corrects, sitting down in the chair opposite of me.
I hesitate, staring at the only exit for a moment before I sit down and willfully have a conversation with a man I truly loath. "I wasn't aware you knew her."
"No, you wouldn't." Sebastien frowns. "I half wondered if we grabbed the right guy. How could you know her and never speak her name?"
"It's because I knew her. I chose to protect her memory." I swallow hard, this is not an easy topic for me on a good day, more or less with someone I despise. "She was my light in all the darkness. I had to protect her."
"Protect her?" He replies bitterly. "Fine job you did of that!"
"I was just shy of eighteen Sebastien, Xzavier took us by surprise. He was stronger. Glory, I mean, Tara tried to protect me. She gave me time to run, but I couldn't leave her." Teas slip out of my eyes, this memory always effects me. "The last moments of her life she watched me get hit so hard I was thought dead. I wish I was." I struggle to keep my voice, fully aware I've never let this man see me cry. "I woke up to hell. She was dead, blood was everywhere." I shake my head trying to shake the memory. "I couldn't leave her like that. I took her to a hospital and was arrested. That is how or when I got Xzavier in jail. I thought that hell was over. When I was free I scattered her ashes under a willow tree." I wipe my face. "I never dreamed he would get out and kill more of those I love." I stare at my hands. "Or that I would fall in love with his brother."
"Did she ever talk about me?"
"No. I was under the impression she was a life-long foster child running away from broken homes. She said she was on and off the streets for years. She was very cunning, if not for her, I would have never survived."
"She wasn't a foster child." Sebastien frowns. "She was my sister."
My eyes widen in shock. Suddenly, everything about Sebastien makes sense. From his petty jealousy, to his poisonous behavior toward Owen. "You truly hate me and it has nothing to do with Lance." I respond with full clarity.
"Your feelings for Lance did not help you." Sebastien answers coldly. "She really told you to run and you refused?"
"Yes." I confirm. "I would gladly trade my life for hers, even to this day, I love her."
"Had you spoken of her like this to Lance, even Ethan, your life would have been much easier." Sebastien informs me. I give Ethan a half smile, knowing I had told him but Ethan chose to keep my trust and confidence over comforting his cousin. Ethan gives me a slight nod, acknowledging that his loyalty is and has always been with me.
"How did?" I stop unsure how to ask.
"She was stolen from us at a young age. My father had killed The Dolore's son and Tara paid the price." Sebastien answers. "We tried to get her back only to discover she escaped. She didn't go home. I don't think she knew where home was. It took forever to track her, we were always a step behind. She was found by the State a time or two and put into the system. The Dolore always managed to be informed. They tortured her and she always ran. It was infuriating. I was so close, tracking you two when Xzavier discovered Tara and killed her." Sebastien's face turns from sadness to anger. "I've hated you, blamed you, ever since."
"I am not your enemy."
"I know that now." He frowns. "I still hate that you spent years with her and she never mentioned her own brother."
"She trusted me Sebastien, but not like that, her past was off limits. Anytime I tried she would get so angry and display a temper not unlike your own."
He gives a proud half-smile. "Sounds like the Tara I remember."
"You said you wondered if you grabbed the wrong guy. Why did you grab me? To torture me for her death? If so, why Lance and not you?"
He shifts his eyes to his hands and then back to me. "You were grabbed for protection. Which is why Lance was put in charge. I would have killed you."
"Protection against what? Que said he didn't realize I testified against Xzavier until it was too late."
Sebastien shakes his head, impatient with the questions flooding out of my mouth. "After two years and an associate's degree later and you never spoke of her. I convinced the others we had the wrong guy. Que was skeptical but sided with me. Which is why you became a slave. You stayed protected but at least you weren't getting royal treatment. Only the true Jack deserved that."
"What?" I ask confused.
"You have my sister to thank for most your education Alec." Sebastien replies dryly. "Her trust fund paid for it."
"I don't understand!" I bitch, feeling unheard. "How did you even know about me?"
"I claimed Tara's body at the morgue. I paid them off to give you unclaimed human remains if you ever came looking." I can't stop the hurt in my eyes. "Amongst her personal belongings she had a letter, telling anyone who mattered that she loved you and asked that nothing but kindness and good nature come to you. She thought she had nothing to ever give you but if she could she would given you everything." Sebastien stops. "The blood stained letter was dated three months before she died."
"I had no idea." I cry, shaking.
"When we were certain you were who we thought, you were already a slave. Xzavier got out of prison and he was hunting you. So we moved you across country and kept you as a slave to keep The Dolore in the dark about you. It is why Ethan gave you so much freedom. Why you were eventually given the illusion that you were free and why we had you give it up for your friends protection. No harm was ever going to come to Levi, we just needed you to lose your freedom to stop drawing attention to yourself. The Dolore got the message, you were a protected slave, but not the man they were looking for. Hell even Bobby helped use with that, it seems."
"But now I have Xzavier's attention and he wants me dead. It isn't because I put him in jail is it Sebastien?"
"You have the power to put him back there if new evidence came to light." He deflects.
"If Levi wasn't to be harmed why did you harm Owen?"
"Hatred for you mostly. Trying to wake him up. He was a target. He needed to realize that." I give him an angry glare. "I didn't hurt him as badly as what could have happened. I was even careful when I stabbed him. Had Que not sent me away I could have kept him from The Dolore's clutches."
"Which fate would have been worse Sebastien?"
He looks at me. "Honestly, I don't know."
"I will always hate you for what you've done to him." I reply with acid.
"As you should." Sebastien nods, "Just as Pricilla will always hate you for Brad."
"Tu sha." I frown understanding Sebastien's anger and guilt all too well.
"I've given you all the pieces to this puzzle Alec. It is up to that Berkley brain of yours to put it all together." He stands up. "When she was lost to us, she didn't know much kindness. Thank you for showing her love. You saved her, just as much as she saved you." He walks out of the room leaving me emotionally drained.
I cannot tell you how long I sat there. My brain fitting pieces of my life together in ways it never knew existed. I wasn't a random kid Lance felt sorry for all those years ago, I was targeted. Targeted because I met a girl at a dumpster when I was sixteen years old. A girl who had no knowledge of her family but knew the pain of her family's enemies all too well. The ghosts in that girls eyes still haunt my nightmares today. Having the full story as to why she was hurt angers me more than I could phantom. I wish I could take her demons away. I close my eyes tightly, reminding myself that she is at peace, yet the memory of her death flashes before me and I can't stop the horrific rerun.
"Alec?" Ethan asks, startling me. "Alec are you alright?"
"I'm fine, sorry Master, just thinking."
"You have me very worried." He whispers.
"I know. I'm sorry." I reply laying my head on his shoulder, going back to the memory in my head.
The moment I decided to leave that room, it dawned on me I was forever changed. Knowledge is power and I hated having it. I enjoyed my obvlious bubble and it has been popped. Having most the truth annoyed me, I wanted it all. Anger filled me and I walk straight up to Ethan, furious. "What did Glory give me that Xzavier wants?"
"What?" Ethan asks looking confused.
"You heard me!"
"You are asking the wrong man." Ethan replies cautiously.
"You are my husband!" I shout.
"I was never told Alec." Ethan replies calmly.
Frustrated, I turn to Que. "What did Tara give me that Xzavier wants?"
"Are you sure you want this answer Alec?" Que asks.
"Yes!" I reply furiously. "I have a target on my back and I deserve to know why."
"The original family line fell to Sebastien and Tara." Que sighs with reluctance. "Sebastien wanted nothing to do with power after his sister was killed. But it was expected that he take it. So he divided it amongst all our father's siblings."
"You, Pricilla, Lance and, himself." I shrug. "What is your point?"
"My point is he gave away his rights into a four way split, Alec, not Tara's.
My world goes fucking sideways. "No!" I yell, hitting whatever the hell the thing next to me is. "No!" I scream at him getting in his face. This can't be happening!"
"Do you think any slave, favored or otherwise, would have the power to put one of us behind bars and live?" Que argues, making me take a step back. They were banking on me being afraid but not too afraid to save Ethan's life? "Or that we would randomly spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on an education on a slave?"
"You spent nothing! I had scholarships! I earned my education!"
"Half of it yes, not your GED and getting Berkley to postpone your admission didn't come cheap either. Not to mention all the name changes, the money that Ethan gave you upon your graduation. Where do you think it all came from?"
"Tara." I whisper, tears streaking down my face. "Why are you in charge and not Sebastien?"
"I get that this is taking you through a loop Alec, but you are not hearing me." Que complains, "Sebastien didn't want the power. He tried to give it all away but certain family members expected him to do his duty. So he found a loop hole. He split his reign of power into four unequal parts and he gave the most to me; which leaves me with the final say amongst the four of us. Out of respect I don't try to overrule Sebastien, who rarely challenges me, which is why I am telling you any of this!"
"All those times we spoke, I felt as if I were your equal."
"You are not my equal Alec." Que frowns. "I have final say amongst an uneven four way divide which is roughly half of a half?" He shrugs, "Never been one for math. You however have final say over fifty percent, which makes you our true leader."
The migraine that hits me is so intense I feel myself vomiting. I am handed a waste basket and taken from the room we are in after my stomach settles. I quickly wash up, refusing to have others do it for me and am directed to a new room where I find a very distraught Ethan arguing with Que. ". . . been informed!" Ethan snaps.
"It wasn't an issue until you married the fool!" Que yells back.
"Why did you agree to a blood vow? Damn it Quentin!"
"Had I not, you would have shunned us! You took his name Ethan!" Que argues. "And if you didn't notice that stunt I pulled was me, trying to talk you two out of it! But he made his decision Ethan, he told me he would do anything to avenge his Bobby. I'm sorry but this is his fate, I can't change these unfortunate events."
"I don't want this." I speak, bringing attention to myself and causing my head to hurt. My eyes fall to my freshly scarred hand. I've swore my loyalty to this family, having no damn clue it would put me in charge. "I don't want any of this."
"Alec, I didn't know." Ethan answers, clearly just as upset as I am.
I rub my temples seeing nothing but landmines in my mind's eyes. Everyone wants us dead. From Brad's family branch that feels betrayed, to Ethan's branch who will seek the power, to enemies who want to exploit it. "This is beyond chaos. This is a hell." I look at Que, "How do we stay alive? What are our options?"
"I wish there was an answer to that, but no matter the choice, someone is going to want you dead Alec." Que replies honestly. "You safest option is to accept your fate."
"You're joking." Ethan mutters.
"No, he's right, I can control my own fate this way, no matter the outcome."
"You want to be in charge of this family business?" Ethan snaps.
"Want and being are two different things." I reply, seeing spots in my vision. I turn to Que, "This is official then?"
"Yes." Que replies cautiously.
"I am taking control of Pricilla's slaves." Que raises an eyebrow. "I am freeing every last one of them." I add, causing him to glare. Ethan squeezes my hand. "You can tell your sister it is retribution for her actions against me and mine. She is no longer allowed to have slaves and all her power is hereby revoked, indefinitely. You can tell your family it is my way of protecting her and the business from Xzavier. By freeing her slaves he will realize exactly how weakened she is. Hopefully it will get the divorce to go through faster."
Que is quite for a long time before he speaks again. "How should her control be redistributed?"
"I'm giving it to you, to keep it within your family branch." I shrug.
"So you are replacing Pricilla in The Quattro." Ethan questions.
"Essentially." I agree with Ethan's assessment, keeping my eyes on Que. "You will let it be known that if anyone commits crimes within our own family, they will lose their power and their slaves go free. That includes excessive abuse and murder of slaves."
"That has a potential of causing this family to dissolve this family into civil war! I can see the accusations piling up now!"
"This is me, caring." I reply sarcastically. "The more slaves I free the better."
"You could just free them all." Ethan shrugs.
"Not if he wants to live!" Que snaps angrily.
"I hate this!" Ethan bitches.
"Yeah me too." I mutter. "But so would Glory, and I know she would have done everything in her power to walk the fine line of keeping herself alive and abolishing her family business."
"End us and I will end you." Que warns.
"Yes Que, I am aware that I am just a figure head to prevent the Prazzo's from getting power. All you and your siblings have to do is join forces, kill me and villa this ends."
He smiles at me. "You've never been one to be naïve, I'll give you that."
"I'll give up the power Que, as long as me and mine can walk away from this life unharmed."
"You have my word." Que replies seriously.
"Good, now all we have to do is eliminate The Dolore as a threat and I will sign it away." Que glares, "Come on Que you would rather be Xzavier's target?" I question.
"You are setting yourself up as bait!" Ethan hisses, two steps ahead.
I don't answer him, instead I stare at Que, finally he speaks. "You two will sign a will of transfer in your own blood that will bring the power back to Sebastien if anything happens to the two of you, he may in turn give it to anyone he damn well pleases or keep it for himself."
"With the exception of Pricilla and the Prazzo clan, sure." I shrug. "But that will of transfer isn't contingent on our deaths, it will also work once The Dolore threat is eliminated."
"Swear to it." Que growls. Calmly I reach for the knife that was dug into my palm a few days before and reopen the wound, I pass it to Ethan who does the same and he hands it to Que. Que cuts his own hand. The three of us grasp hands and hold them while the blood mixes together.
When the plane lands I rent a car and find Ethan in my passenger seat. "Okay, now what?"
"Now I kill the bastard." I answer coldly.
"Alec, whatever you plan on doing, you are coming back from this. I don't care how long it takes, I am not letting you go." I feel his hand squeeze mine but I don't acknowledge him. I just drive, straight to the place in all honesty I should have died many years ago.
