A/N: Day ten. Together on the hammock.
My shoulder is bony. This can't be comfortable for you.
It isn't.
I don't-
Shh, Poe interrupted him. I let you do things you find uncomfortable. Let me do the same. Come on, I thought you were going to throw up on me the other day. This is what I want to do. Poe snuggled against him, bony shoulder and all. The hammock rocked slowly with the movement.
Hux sighed as much as he could without shifting his shoulder. Will you let me change it for you at least?
Change it? There was another layer of meaning behind Hux's question.
It's something I saw Snoke do. I think I can do it.
Okay? I like being here, though. Really, don't move me, okay?
I won't.
Poe felt his cheek tingle where it rested against Hux's shoulder. He tensed a little as it numbed then changed to feel warm and even pressure rather than the singular knot of the end of Hux's collarbone. Whoa. What did you just do? That's not words in my mind or pulling up a memory. You did something directly to me …
I'm altering your mind's understanding of what your body is feeling. I am offering it an alternative possibility. There was something stiff in how Hux expressed it.
Poe held very still. Snoke did this? He remembered that mental lashing Hux had given him – a direct impression of core-deep pain. He wondered if Hux could have done that had he not felt it himself at some point. The worst kind of torture was one that could be used over and over without leaving any functional injuries. Or even visible damage – that would mess with a person's mind for sure. For the first time, it occurred to him that Kylo Ren had gone light on him over Jakku by performing interrogation only and nothing else.
It's … yes. Hux did not explain. His mental landscape was impenetrable darkness on this element. Poe could feel him concentrating on keeping it that way.
Poe deliberately turned his focus away from wanting to know more. Hux would decide when he wanted to share that, if ever. This is what you did in bed to me the other day, wasn't it? When you made me come so fast?
No, that was different. That wasn't a physical sensation, but a transfer? of emotion, of how much I loved you. You wanted to get off, so you did. I'm not sure about the mechanics, but I wasn't doing anything with your … nerve endings.
You're not comfortable touching my dick in your head, either. Poe was amused that even the thought of it wasn't something Hux wanted.
I have touched your penis in the flesh and not recoiled from it, Hux thought with exasperation. Just yesterday, in fact.
It's okay. It's just funny to me because you have a dick, and so ... well, I think it's funny.
I know, I see that. I'm not offended.
Can you show me how to do that thing, though? With the Force and the nerve endings?
More darkness. Yes. (Don't use it on me, escaped from Hux's attempts to hold everything at bay.)
In a flash, Poe realized. It's okay. No, never mind. That must have come off as so threatening. I didn't mean it that way. I was just curious, that's all. I don't need it.
No, I know you didn't mean it that way. I said yes.
No, I'm fine. I don't even want it. That would be like a blaster to your heart if I ever fucked up with it. Poe tried to deflect and think of something else to change the subject to.
A deep pang of frustration and regret at not having stifled that parenthetical of fear ran through Hux. Please, was all he could say. It wasn't just a word, but a plea. He meant it as begging.
Poe stopped the mental backpedaling he'd been doing and took a deep breath. I know you wouldn't say that unless this mattered to you. Maybe changing the subject wasn't the right idea. What are you … What- What are you asking?
I trust you. Let me show you that I trust you. Otherwise I'll always feel like I kept it from you. I'll always wonder what you might do with it if you ended up with it from somewhere else or just figured it out yourself. I'd rather know, for sure, now. Let me put a little bit back together of myself that was broken, fragile though it may actually be, by showing myself I don't have anything to fear in you.
Poe breathed out heavily. "Okay." I mean, okay, he thought, switching back to mental.
It should be simple enough to show you how. It's not that different from projecting a voice into your head – that's sort of like a sensation. Here's how I think of it. He showed Poe what he meant, how to talk to a different part of the brain and tell a person what they were feeling. There was something of a mental map of the body inside a person's mind. The trick was to manipulate that directly. Snoke had done it often enough that Hux had a good idea of the process.
Hux thought to him, I don't know that you can use it on anyone but me … if you need to practice. I wouldn't suggest you use it on a stranger, or even your father. You're … inside my skin this way. Hux tried and failed to steel himself against what he thought was Poe's inevitable trial run with it. His skin was crawling just thinking about it.
Stop that, Poe said gently. I'm not going to use this on you. Pssh. What do you think I wanted it for?
…?
Poe tested the ability to confirm what he had in mind was possible, making himself feel a pinch on the back of his own hand. It felt real enough. He went on, I'm going to give myself blowjobs with this. Seriously, what did you think someone like me would to do with it? He was teasing, actually, because he hadn't thought of this application until right that second, but it sounded like a grand idea. This had to be what Nera had used on Finn all those months ago. Steel had said it could be used for self-pleasure. At least, that was how Poe had interpreted it.
What? Hux was dumbfounded. Which was kind of sad that he had never imagined any use for that power other than delivering pain. (Though given that it was Snoke, Poe supposed pain alone was less traumatizing than the other, more twisted, options.)
Poe thought, I'm going to use this on me. This is the ultimate sex toy, Hugs! I can replicate any sensation I've felt before? Maybe you and Snoke never used it that way (which is good!), but trust me, I'm going to get lots of practice with this one! And none of it has to involve you. (Unless you want it to.)
A … sex toy? You're going to pleasure yourself with … this … ability? The Force?
Yep. You could try it too, you know. Just on your own. Or on me. Plenty of other parts of my body are available if you don't want to do anything sexual with it.
Hux was continuing to short-circuit at the very idea. Poe couldn't make sense of his thoughts, though he didn't try too hard. No, Hux finally thought. No, I think I'm fine for right now. Maybe at some other point. You do whatever you need to do with it. I'm glad I've … helped you?
You did. More by trusting me than with anything else. Thank you.
