Nora Reacts to Wrath of the Valkyrie!

A/N: Welcome, one and all to- *whomp*

SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY PANCAKES Oh...he's out. Uh...hey guys, it's Nora! I kinda accidentally broke Elfy-chan for a bit...maybe the great sloth god will fix it. *shrug* I really didn't mean to- I swear! I was just looking for my maple syrup! Really!

So uh...apparently, according to his notes, he's gotten some guy called knives4cash- sounds like a fun guy~- to let him do something called 'Pollination'? Yeah, I dunno. Girl needs her food to think and I haven't had second breakfast yet! So...yeah!

Oh, this chapter's about me? Aw, Elfy-chan, I love you so much I could dress you up like a little sloth and hug you! Aw well, I'll just have to- NORA, GET OFF MY COMPUTER. *retcon'd*

Okay, sorry. I don't know how the hell she broke into my house. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that. So yeah, you heard right, I AM indeed doing knives4cash's Pollination series! You're awesome if you're reading this and thanks for letting me read it!

Well, I'll see you guys at the end of the chapter! Thanks to AfroThunda for letting me write about his story!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Cinder would be a teacher at Beacon.

Wrath of the Valkyrie belongs to AfroThunda.


Today was an average day in JNPR dorm. That is, if one considered staying anywhere near a certain Nora Valkyrie as average. Today, Ren was away, showing the new girls Elsa- for some reason, she looked exactly like Weiss- and Norn the lay of the land, leaving Nora, Jaune, Pyrrha and Cardin- he'd come over with some snacks, as Melanie was currently off on a school trip with team MEME and a bunch of other teams- the dorm.

"Weeee! We get the dorm ALL to ourselves! Yay!" Nora giggled insanely, bouncing around the dorm, munching on pancakes they'd bought the day before at Pancake Land in Vale. Jaune was still in shock that there was actually an entire superstore devoted to pancakes and their toppings.

Pyrrha, meanwhile, was caressing her Jaune-kun doll softly, leaning back on her bed, and Cardin was tilting his head at Nora. "That 'sposed to be normal?"
"For Nora? Yes." Jaune nodded. "You learn to live with it."
"Huh." Cardin nodded, unsure, while picking up a smooth, black cube-
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Jaune batted his hand away from it.

"Hey, what's the big idea?"
"That's Ren's!" Jaune warned him. "You know how Ren is with his antics."

Cardin immediately recoiled from it. He knew how Ren was with antics- he was always hearing about how Yang and Blake learned their techniques from him. He moved his seat away. "Any other antics?"

"Just stay away from his Euphie posters and you should be fine." Jaune clarified. "He doesn't lay traps everywhere like Yang."

"Uhuh."

"I'm the queen of the dorm! I'm the queen of the dorm!" Nora sprang around, singing.

"Nora." Pyrrha called over. "Are you planning to do anything WITH the dorm?"
"It's my castle now! I get to put sloths all over it!" Nora laughed, as she threw sloth plushies around. Cardin tilted his head. "Where'd she get-oof!" One hit him in the face.

"SLOTH FIGHT!"

"Eheheh...Nora..." Jaune asked. "...do you mind if you do something LESS violent?"
"Like breaking people's knees?"
"N-not mine!" Cardin said hurriedly.

"N-no! I mean something that doesn't...involve breaking things."
"Interesting..." The girl rubbed her chin. "...what do you have in mind?"

Jaune opened his mouth to say something, but realised that he didn't have a clue WHAT to suggest.

'Dammit, Arc, you put your foot into your mouth again! What do I say? I need to say something! Otherwise Nora'll destroy the dorm somehow! Wait, doesn't Weiss read fanfic? Yeah, we should do that. Less destructive.'

"Uh...how about we read fanfic? Yes, fanfic." The boy suggested.

"Good idea!" Nora nodded, rushing to the computer and shoving Cardin out of her chair.

"Hey, watch it!" He grumbled, picking himself up.

"Sorry~" She giggled, looking up fanfic.

"Well, at least she's not going to destroy the dorm like LAST time Ren wasn't with her..." Jaune and Pyrrha shared a haunted look and shuddered.

"...your team really scares me." Cardin muttered.

"You learn to get with it or run." Pyrrha sighed. "We don't know how Ren puts up with her."

"PANCAKE PANCAKE PANCAKE" Nora chanted, munching on her tenth pancake in a minute.

"I don't see how you do." Cardin remarked.


Nora read through the fanfic archives, looking for something to read. Obviously, she dismissed all the dark, grim fics- 'Not enough badass knee-breakery!'- and the shipping fics- 'Too much cuddles, not enough broken knees!'- and, obviously, the outright crappy ones- 'Okay, this one has knee-breaking, but I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH REN ENOUGH!'.

Until, of course, she found one particularly interesting looking fanfic.

"Wrath of the Valkyrie?" She tilted her head. "About me and antics? READING!" She clicked on it quickly, poring over the content.

Jaune tilted his head. "Is that...me?"

"I think so." Pyrrha nodded.

"...WHAT?!" Jaune's eyes widened. "W-why are my pants cut open?! AND WHY DOES IT SAY PROPERTY OF PYRRHA?!"
"...that's not a bad idea..." Pyrrha blushed.

Nora wrung her hands evily. "Sounds like the perfect plan."
"W-what?!" Jaune looked at her, surprised. "N-no way!"
"Why not?"
"Yeah, why not?!" Pyrrha glared at him. Jaune cringed and recoiled away, as if Pyrrha's glare was tangible and causing him pain.

"Is that...supposed to be an antic?" Cardin scratched his head.

"Oh, story me~" Nora giggled. "You're so awesome~"
"T-that's not AWESOME! YOU LABELLED ME AS BELONGING TO PYRRHA!"

"Don't you?" Nora tilted her head.

"W-what's THAT supposed to mean?!" Jaune shouted.

"Also, you KINDA deserved that." Nora responded in a sing-song voice. "I mean, silly you, trying to eat my pancakes~"
"...I actually wouldn't be surprised if she did that over pancakes." Cardin mumbled. He shuddered.

"A lesson to all of you! Don't ever touch my pancakes or I'll get you~!" The girl grinned.

"...I still say we should say Jaune is my property." Pyrrha muttered, caressing her Jaune plushie.


Nora clenched her fist. "...how could he? HOW COULD THIS WRITER TAKE MY SWEETS?!"
"...I think we learned our lesson the FIRST time we tried that." Jaune shuddered. Indeed, JNPR had held an intervention to get rid of Nora's sweets, the day after the infamous King's Game.

Jaune and Pyrrha were both in the infirmary for a week, Weiss was covered in maple syrup that took hours to clean, Glynda was unconscious for hours and Ren barely escaped before Nora was finally sedated and placated with a bag of toffees. Since that day, most of Beacon- save Dove- had learned that taking away Nora's beloved sweets was, to be frank, a bad idea.

"You DO kinda-"
"NO PYRRHA I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH MY BABIES!" Nora growled. "MY SWEETS. MINE."

"Your...babies?" Cardin looked confused.

"Sloths and sweets are my babies! You can't just throw them away!"
"...what." Jaune scratched his head.

"Ren-chan tried to steal MY pancakes today, and guess what's going to happen to him in exactly six seconds?" Nora smiled brightly.

"Wha-" Cardin was interrupted by a large boom in the corridor outside, followed by a squeal that sounded like Weiss, only less harsh- presumably Elsa- and a flat, feminine voice –Norn- trying to pat down something- presumably Ren.

Ren's shouting could be heard. "NORA!" The sloth-lover giggled insanely.

"See? Bad things happen to people who touch my sweets. Even my boyfriend~"

Pyrrha stared at her in shock. Jaune sighed. "...you really DO need to eat fruits more-"
"NO I DON'T"
"...banana bread, carrot cake-"
"SOLD!"

"See? You're not as bad as we thought." Jaune smiled.

"...what the Dust, man. What the actual Dust." Cardin stared at Nora.

"Now, let's see what punishment Pyrrha here DESERVEDLY gets for taking my sweets." Nora laughed with perverse glee as she read carefully.

"Awww, Ren tried to warn her." She frowned. "How sweet of him. Oh well, Pyrrha will still suffer. These are MY sweets."

"Man, I'd crap myself if I had to deal with Nora going after me..." Cardin admitted. "And I'm supposed to be the big tough guy."

"Who wouldn't? It's Nora." Pyrrha stated, before reading what Nora did to Milo. "...Nora."

"Yeeeeeee~eeeees?"
"If you damage my weapons, I will personally make your life a living hell." She said smiling sweetly.

"Yes?"
"..." Nora was about to respond, before looking into Pyrrha's eyes- the killing intent in them was palpable. She squeaked slightly ,gulping.

"Y-yes, Miss Nikos..."

"Good." Pyrrha smiled satisfactorily. "We know where our boundaries are now." Resting back in her chair, she allowed Nora to continue reading...before the latter started laughing out loud.

"Now THAT, my young Padawans, is how you pull off a genius antic."
"...My milkshakes-W-what?!" Pyrrha blushed profusely. "I-I would...b-but...w-what?!"

"...you want me to spank you with Crocea Mors..." Jaune blushed as red as Pyrrha's hair.

"The hell are you guys blushing about?" Cardin scratched his head.

"Hah! Chemicals..." Nora wiped her eyes. "This Nora has to meet me- we'd be SUCH a good team! We'd be fighting sloth poachers, raiding pancakes...the sweet things me and another me could do..."
"...the sad thing is that I wouldn't be surprised if Blake had those things." Jaune sighed.

"...how does h-he know I-I peep o-on Jaune in t-the shower..." Pyrrha mumbled.

She did, but how could she help it? Those ABS.


"The hell? Why am I in this?!" Cardin looked surprised. "What?!"

"...well, you used to be KIND OF AN ASSHOLE." Nora admitted cheerfully.

"And...oh my Dust...I would NOT be surprised if Glynda actually owned that mask." Jaune shuddered. "Really, considering the time she ALMOST summoned Yuno Gasai..."
"...she summoned a yandere? Why?" Cardin looked intrigued.

"Probably Ozpin."Jaune shrugged. "I still don't understand how someone can be a tsundere AND a yandere at the same time..."

"Rii-" Cardin stopped, as he read the passage immediately after. He clenched his fist. "...you know, I really hate it when people keep treating me like this in fanfic. I mean, I know I used to be a douche...but seriously." He sighed. "I said sorry enough times."
"I dunno..." Jaune shrugged. "People just can't be bothered sometimes. You're a pretty stand-up guy, if a bit crude at times."
"Still...sometimes, I wish people'd stop thinking I'd bully Velvet." Cardin admitted. "I mean, really, bullying THAT wacko? I'd get my head chopped off with her big axe! But in all seriousness...it kinda hurts, being the bad guy in most fics."
"Roman feels the same way." Jaune shrugged. "Yeah, me and him talk on DustChat- he's pretty nice, if a bit...exasperated and tired, half the time."

"U-uhuh..." Pyrrha nodded in agreement. She was still in shock from last chapter.

"Oooh, more punishment! Even if it IS a bit inaccurate..." Nora chuckled. "I mean, I'd expect VELVET to take it upon herself to punish the wicked, but to each their own...and I am SUCH a ninja!"
"...how the hell did you get into a locked room with no vents?" Cardin shuddered.

"Same way Blake does!" Nora smiled brightly. "And using him-"

"Okay, no, we're not reading this part! Seriously...I'm not even suffering that in real LIFE and that looks painful." Cardin scrolled quickly down.

"Yeah...that looks pretty brutal." Jaune shuddered.

"Relax, I'm not REALLY going to do that to Cardin! He's too nice!" Nora giggled. "And...ooooh...okay, that LAST bit is brutal. Velvet's *boop*itch, seriously?"
"...dude. That's WAY Too brutal." Jaune nodded. "Really too brutal."
"Uhuh..." Pyrrha nodded. She was recovering, but still not completely in it, so to speak.

"...still, at least the first part's fine." Nora nodded.

Jaune shuddered. "Okay, Melanie would PROBABLY kill Nora for doing that."
"Damn straight..." Cardin nodded. He was somewhat shocked by that last punishment. "...as nice as that girl is, she's DAMN scary when she's angry..."


"Well, it was short, but fun." Nora nodded. "And oh-so accurate~"

"A bit brutal, that end there." Cardin sighed.

"Yeah." Jaune agreed. "Still, good nonetheless."
"Review?" Nora asked. By that time, Pyrrha, unable to regain composure, had her face dug into a pillow.

"Let me leave one." Cardin offered.


From: Lord Fluffy The Seamster

A bit brutal, but Nora really liked it, I really liked it, and Jaune liked it. Pyrrha here's a bit...embarrassed, but eh.

Signed, Cardin W.

PS: Don't mention this to Melanie.


Satisfied, the group resumed chatting...

...until Cardin accidentally triggered the Dorm Defense System Ren put in place.

Needless to say, the chocolate syrup took hours to clean up, though Nora was willing to lick it all up.


END


A/N: Eh, okay enough. *shrug* Again, thanks to AfroThunda for letting me write about Wrath of the Valkyrie- much better than this- again, and the next chapter will be Weiss Reacts to Normal School Days! Featuring Cinder-chan as a teacher!

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that, leave your reviews, ideas, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and comments and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!