Sugar and Spice
By Misha

Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.

Part Forty-Four: Mothers, Daughters and Commitment Issues

After a long sleepless night, Lorelai went to Luke's to just get some coffee to prepare to go see Rory and to face her mother.

"Geez, what happened to you?" Luke asked as soon as she walked in.

Lorelai shot him a dirty look. "And good morning to you too."

"Sorry, you just look bad." Luke told her with a shrug.

"Well, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Lorelai told him with a scowl. She didn't look that bad, did she?

"Why not?" Luke asked, pouring her a cup of coffee.

"Rory ran away." Lorelai admitted, hating the sound of it.

"What?!" Luke exclaimed frantically. "Where?! Did you..."

"She's fine." Lorelai told him, touched by the expression of concern. "She's at my mother's."

God, that sounded awful.

Luke let out a sigh of relief. "Ok, you really should throw that information in with the first part. Otherwise, you'll scare a person to death."

Lorelai shrugged. "Sorry." She let out a gusty sigh. "You know, I got in my car three times to go get her." She admitted. "I drove halfway there and then turned around."

"She'll cool off and come home." Luke assured her.

Lorelai managed a small smile. "I know." She did know. Rory loved her, they had a good relationship, she was just hurting... But it was hard, because Rory was her good one and she didn't usually do things like this. "Its just... Breaking up with Dean has been so hard on her."

"Yeah." Luke agreed.

"I just hate that she's going through this." Lorelai told him. "I mean, she's such an amazing kid. She's so nice to everyone, she cares about everyone."

It was true, Christa had an edge to her, was a little more self-serving, but not Rory, never Rory.

"And she's walking around in this unbelievable pain and there's nothing I can do it." Lorelai said bitterly. "She won't talk to me. She won't talk to Christa. She won't even tell us what happened."

"I'll tell you what happened." Luke said angrily. "That Dean kid is a jerk and he finally let her know it."

Lorelai wondered if he was right. Rory had been different ever since her break-up with Dean. "I wish I could pinch his head off." She muttered.

"I'll help." Luke volunteered.

Lorelai smiled, that was Luke, always so protective of Rory.

"I warned him." Lorelai continued, her anger building. "I warned him when I first met him, if he hurt her... Ah. Maybe I could key his car."

"Or better yet, you can key Taylor's car and tell him you saw Dean doing it." Luke volunteered.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile, that'd be evil indeed. "Yeah, that'd be good."

"You can key Taylor's cal, tell him Dean did it and also tell him that Dean littered and walks his dog without a leash." Luke continued.

"He'll run him out of town." Lorelai said with a laugh, feeling better.

"Good."

Lorelai glanced at her watch. "All right, I should go. Rory's had enough time to cool down and I've decided to go to my parents and talk to her."

"Good luck." Luke told her. "Coffee's on the house."

Lorelai smiled and stood up. "Thanks."

She exited Luke's and then walked over to the Market. She hesitated for a moment, before going in. She walked straight over to Dean and tapped him on the shoulder. "Got a minute?" She asked.

Dean looked away. "Actually, I'm, uh..."

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're scum." Lorelai told him flatly. "Gee thanks." Dean muttered, still not looking at her.

"You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that?" Lorelai demanded. "She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you?"

"Treated what way?" Dean asked, seeming genuinely confused.

"I thought you were a good guy." Lorelai continued, ignoring his interruptions. She'd waited months to get this all out and nothing was stopping her now. "I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong."

"You know what, I am sick and tired of blaming this thing on me!" Dean exclaimed angrily. "I mean, you and this whole stupid town are treating me like I'm a criminal, when I didn't do anything wrong. I say 'I love you' and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?!"

Lorelai stared at him, unable to process what he was saying. "What?" She whispered.

Dean just threw his hands up in the air. "You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone."

After a moment, Lorelai did what he asked, still trying to process what he had told her. Had she really messed her daughter up that much that she had no idea how to deal with commitment? Because Lorelai was sure that Rory loved Dean, that was why Lorelai had been so angry, because she'd seen her daughter's heart get broken. This revelation through all her beliefs up in the air and she had no idea how to react or how she could fix this for her daughter...


"Can you meet me at Richard and Emily's?"

Christa paused at the question and looked at Colin, who had stopped by to "tutor" her in math-at least that was what they had told Straub and Francine, who had gone out for the afternoon, anyway. Weirdly enough, her grandparents trusted her or maybe they were smart enough to know that whatever she was going to do, she was going to do it with or without their permission and that by allowing it, they at least had some control over it.

"Um, sure." She said finally, figuring her mother wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. "It'd take me a few minutes, but I can do it. What's up?"

She'd much rather hang out with Colin than go see her maternal grandparents, but she knew it had to have something to do with Rory and that meant it had to come first.

Lorelai let out a gusty sigh. "I want to talk to Rory and I want you with me."

"Is that a great idea?" Christa asked, she was wondering if she might not be part of Rory's problem. They'd never had to deal with sibling rivalry before, so it was likely coming as a shock to her sister. It wasn't bothering Christa, but then, that might be because it was Rory who had to share Lorelai, instead of Christa having to share Christopher. Christa was honest enough to admit that if the roles were reversed, she might have a problem with it.

"I found out why she and Dean broke up." Lorelai confessed.

"Oh, why?" Christa asked curiously.

"Christa what would you do if Colin told you he loved you?" Lorelai asked seriously.

Christa shot a look at the boy in question, who was currently tracing lazy circles over her bare stomach as she talked to her mother. "Die of shock?" She offered. "But then love isn't in our game plan. Why? What does this have to do with Rory and Dean?"

"Dean told Rory he loved her and she couldn't return it." Lorelai confessed. "I just... I wonder if I've warped you girls."

"Mom, you've done a great job." Christa assured her. "You and Dad both."

"You flit from guy to guy and apparently your sister is just as commitment shy, but hides it better." Lorelai lamented. "I can't help but worry you learnt that behavior from us."

"Mom, someday I'll be ready for a real relationship." Christa assured her. "Right now, I'm young and I'm having fun. There's no deep psychological reason, it's just how it is."

She wasn't entirely sure that was true, part of her wondered if her fear of commitment was partially related to her fear of ending up like her mother, pregnant at sixteen, but she refrained from mentioning that now. Somehow she doubted that Lorelai wanted to hear that now.

"I hope so." Lorelai sighed.

"Do you still want me to meet you?" Christa asked.

"No, you're right, I should do this one alone, it's a Mommy-daughter thing." Lorelai told her. "But you should be prepared, if your sister is willing to talk, she'll probably need twin time."

"Not a problem." Christa assured her mother. "Rory always comes first with me."

"You're a good girl." Lorelai told her. "Now go back to whatever boy you're entertaining and I'll talk to you later."

"Will do." Christa said, not even bothering to deny her mother's charge-after all, it was true.

"What did your mother want?" Colin asked lazily.

Christa shrugged. "Same as last night, my sister's having a crisis."

"Do you need me to leave?" Colin asked.

Christa shook her head. "No, Mom's handling this one, so you can stay right where you are."

"Good." Collin said with a sexy grin. "Because I happen to like where I am."

He moved his body, so that he was leaning over Christa, his weight on his hands, his body hovering above hers.

"I like it too." Christa murmured, as Colin's lips met hers in a deep kiss, that helped distract her away from all thoughts of her sister and whatever commitment issues they might have inherited from their parents...

0


Rory was in her room at her grandparents, lying on the bed, still trying to process everything. Lane working with Dean, Lorelai confiding in Christa, this new found rivalry with her sister... She didn't like any of it and she didn't know how to cope with it.

Just then the door opened and her mother walked through. "Hey."

"Mom!" Rory exclaimed, sitting up quickly. She didn't know why she was surprised, it was just like Lorelai to come after her.

"Okay, so I thought when you said 'I'll see you at home', you meant our home. My mistake." Lorelai told her quietly.

Rory got off the bed and threw herself into her mother's arms. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Lorelai soothed, hugging her tightly.

"It's just everything..." Rory murmured.

"I know." Lorelai told her. "It's okay, though I am curious as to how you ended up here?"

"I just need a place to escape." Rory told her.

"And you picked Hell?" Lorelai inquired, raising an eyebrow.

Rory shot her a look. "It's not that bad, plus it was the first place to mind."

No matter how Lorelai might feel about her parents, Rory loved her grandparents and they represented a safe haven for her.

"I respect that." Lorelai told her, and Rory knew that she meant it. "Listen, the need to run is a feeling I am well acquainted with, though I always ran away from here. But we have to be able to talk always, babe. No matter how mad or upset we get with each other, our particular special mother/daughter vibe only works if we agree to that, ok?"

Rory knew she was right and she knew that as jealous as she was of the relationship Christa had with her mother, her relationship was just as special, if not more so. Christa and Lorelai might be kindred spirits, but Rory and Lorelai were a team.

"I get it." Rory told her softly.

"Good." Lorelai said and then paused. "Rory, tell me what happened with you and Dean."

Rory winced and turned her head, even after all these months, she still wasn't ready to deal with it. "I don't want to talk about it." She said sullenly.

"Well I do." Lorelai told her.

"Why?" Rory demanded, wanting to know why her mother was pushing the subject now, after all these months of letting it go.

"Because I had a chat with him today." Lorelai told her.

Rory winced. "You didn't."

"I did." Lorelai confirmed.

"No." Rory said in horror.

"There he was stacking cookies and I'm railing on him about what a great kid you are and how it sucked that he dumped you, and then he said that he told you he loved you and I started feeling a little stupid." Lorelai confessed.

"He did tell me." Rory admitted. "He told me and I just sat there, like an idiot."

"If it makes you better, your sister probably would have kicked him or started screaming." Lorelai told her.

Rory smiled, despite herself. "That does make me feel better."

"It must have been hard on him." Lorelai said quietly.

Rory sighed. "I know. He looked so hurt. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to hurt him, I just... I got scared, so I sat there."

"I understand." Lorelai told her. "You know, I'm still learning about this relationship stuff too and since I'm still learning, I think I haven't thought enough about what I'm supposed to be teaching you girls."

"What are you talking about?" Rory asked, in confusion. How was any of this Lorelai's fault?

"I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills." Lorelai confessed. "I mean, look, I love that you and Christa have my eyes and my coffee addiction and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships, I don't necessarily want either you to be like me. I mean I can blame part of your sister's issues on your father, but I would hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say I love you."

"Mom." Rory said softly. She'd honestly never thought about it like that. It wasn't about Lorelai or about Christopher, it was just about her panicking in that one moment.

"I'm not even talk specifically about Dean." Lorelai told her. "I mean just generally in life. For example, say you're dating Taylor Hanson."

Rory made a face. "Why am I dating Taylor Hanson?"

"It's a hypothetical scenario, go with it." Lorelai told her. "So, uh, you and Taylor have been seeing each other pretty regularly.

"How did I meet Taylor Hanson?" Rory interrupted, unable to believe this ridiculous scenario her mother had dreamed up.

"You went to his concert, you got backstage, your eyes met across the crowd and you've been seeing each other ever since." Lorelai told her.

"Hanson's still together?" Rory said, raising an eyebrow.

Lorelai shrugged. "Yeah, they're the new Bee Gees, anyway..."

"You realize Christa would shoot me if I went to a Hanson concert." Rory pointed out, unable to resist.

Lorelai glared at her. "Hey, someone's trying to make a point."

"Sorry. Go on."

"So you and Taylor have been dating for awhile, and things are great, and, um, you're happy, and you feel all those crazy mushy things that people feel when they're in love." Lorelai continued. I want you to be able to say to him, 'Taylor, I love you.'"

Rory understood her mother's point, so she refrained from making another obnoxious comment.

"My point is it's scary to be in love, that much I know, because I really was in love with your father, once." Lorelai said quietly. "I guess I let how that worked out sour me and make me afraid, but it's also wonderful and special and if you can't say it or fully express it then you're never gonna be able to experience it and I want you to experience everything that's great because you're so great. Are you hearing me?"

Rory was quiet, she'd never heard her mother put it quite like that, discuss her relationship with Christopher quite that way. "Yeah, I'm hearing you." She said after a moment.

"I'm not saying you say 'I love you' at the drop of a hat." Lorelai continued. "It has to be right and real and it has to take a lot of thought. But someday with someone it will be right. I want you to be ready for that moment when it happens."

"Are you ready for that moment when it happens?" Rory asked quietly. "Again, I mean."

Lorelai smiled. "I'm working on it."

"What about Christa, do you think she's ready?" Rory asked.

Lorelai laughed. "Not in this century, but your sister's a different kind of special, we both know that."

"Does she know about...?" Rory asked.

Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, was that wrong?"

"No." Rory said softly. "I'm glad she does." And she really was, she wanted Christa to know, she just hadn't wanted to talk about it.

"Are you ready to go home?" Lorelai asked after a moment.

Rory nodded. "I am."