Disclaimer: Ok, I am currently out of new ones, I'll just say it: I do not own Tin Man.

Author's Note: So this one has a little different format to it. Quality Control liked it, we'll see what you think. Probably be a bit before the next one – midterms.


...

Azkadellia was in the cave again. It was dark and she was alone, all alone. She didn't want to walk this tunnel, didn't want to approach the creepy face in the rock that sent chills down her spine, but what was the point in fighting it? She'd tried and tried, and always to no avail, what hope was there? The eldest princess was just too damned weak, she couldn't stop her feet nor fight that which waited at the end of the tunnel, and there was no one to rescue her, her hands were empty, so empty. Besides, it was too late, she'd been seen. The witch was cackling maliciously as she drew closer and closer in order to seize the girl, the woman, the child, the princess, the terrified soul that cried out in pain as the darkness invaded, then in despair as she was shown what was to come...

Silent scream burning her throat, Az wrenched herself upright, her hands clenched in a white-knuckled grip on the bedding as she fought desperately against the lingering horror of the dream. No, she would not lose, would not yield, would not let it take her. Gasping for breath as she trembled and collapsed forward over her knees, Azkadellia shuddered against the wave of stark isolation the nightmare had inspired. She would have thought after having been without them for so long her dreams would have lost their power, instead it was as if their absence had robbed her of some defence. The dark shadows of her room closed in on her, she panicked; she needed help, she needed DG, she needed...

Grumpy took one look at the eldest princess as she burst into the hallway and dove for the thermos of warm milk that always stood night guard along with the protection detail. Azkadellia stopped like she'd been slapped in the face. She remembered...

...then to the Gillikin's absolute horror and dismayed discomfiture, his charge threw herself forward and burst into tears on his chest. As the guard patted her shoulder awkwardly, Az wailed to think that a man could see so damn much and yet still miss everything.

...

Officer Gulch was scheduled for the morning shift today, Azkadellia was well aware of that. She had, after all, memorized the guard's schedule. It worked on a four week rotation that the Othersider tweaked occasionally to keep from becoming too patterned and in order to ensure all guards got sufficient rest. Gulch's shifts this week went morning, evening, morning, afternoon, night, double day, and then a day off. There was nothing to her knowing this information, she was also well informed as to when Sneezy, Bashful, Grumpy, Happy and Doc were on-duty, and it had nothing to do with her desire to know when the cop was not. It was just that as a princess of the realm, the wellbeing of its citizens were a part of her responsibilities, so it was her duty to know these things. That she knew the Othersider's schedule made him no different from the other members of her protection detail, because he was no different. He was one of her guards and she would treat him accordingly.

Stepping out into the hall on her way to a breakfast she probably wouldn't eat, the eldest princess acknowledged her guard commander's presence by passing her eyes over him like he wasn't even there. Attempting a small smile as she nodded to the lingering Grumpy, Azkadellia held her head high and strode off, pretending she didn't see the policeman's expression shift from nervous worry to worry and something oddly resembling hurt.

...

Az, while truly happy for her sister, wished Deeg didn't have to be away on her honeymoon at this of all times. She wondered that the solitude should be so much heavier than it had been before...before when everyone was still convinced that she was an evil atrocity just waiting to happen. Not that they were entirely reassured on this point as of yet, but there weren't so many whispers, the servants no longer flinched at the sight of her (nor fled if they could), the guilt had been left behind, and there were even young, and not so young, lords and nobles hovering about as if they were considering approaching her. The situation had improved, so why did she feel like it had gotten worse? If only her guards weren't acting like someone had died; if only she had someone to talk to; if only Officer Gulch wouldn't lurk like that...

...or rather, if only he'd lurk nearer by. Not that she'd notice him.

...

He had Kansas with him again. The little mobat was perched as ever on the cop's shoulder, chattering away as his tiny hands endeavoured to convey whatever it was he wished to communicate with his rather limited vocabulary. Gulch flicked a glance at the eldest princess before scanning the area for threats, all the while managing to keep enough of his attention focused on Kansas so that a moment later he could slowly and carefully add a new gesture to the little mobat's repertoire. He looked so much like a father with his child, Azkadellia thought, her vision blurring as she remembered dreams of little booties and tiny cherubs with her light and his eyes.

A falling tear cleared up her sight as the alarmed cop thrust Kansas into Bashful's arms and backed hastily away. The little mobat let out a screeching wail. Darting forward to scoop the infant up again, the Othersider alternated his gaze between the crying princess and the wailing mobat, his face the picture of abject misery.

...

Azkadellia reminded herself that she was angry at her guard commander. It wasn't particularly hard at the moment because there was currently a certain Winky engaging a certain member of the eldest princess' protection detail in what appeared to be friendly conversation. The cop was leaning against a pillar, his arms crossed and his brow furrowed in what was no doubt earnest contemplation of whatever the ambassador was saying. How dare he...he...just how dare he, the eldest princess thought furiously, and what is he doing at this soirée anyhow? He's off-duty and political discussions might happen, he should have been banned, she added, her eyebrows twitching as Gulch allowed the lady to place a hand on his arm.

Turning angrily and stalking out of the room, Az didn't notice the Othersider brush past the Winky without ever having noticed the ambassador was there.

...

The eldest princess had no idea why DG had always complained about her hoard of suitors. True, the youngest princess had always wanted Cain and therefore considered their existence a nuisance, but Az thought her little sister might have been doing the young lords an injustice. So far they were quite polite and gentlemanly, refined even. In fact, she was finding their company to be quite pleasant. There was, of course, the fact that only the smartest and bravest of Deeg's erstwhile suitors had as yet made any advances. Perhaps the more annoying ones had been weeded out? That would explain a lot, because as a whole, Azkadellia was quite enjoying herself. Truly she was. She was never without anything to do these days; always riding or walking or dining, the eldest princess found that she was handling her recent disappointment quite well.

Now if only she could discover what Dawkins had found so suddenly amusing. Really, the former resistance fighter had been out of sorts for over a week now, she did not know what was bothering him but misery had been enjoying the company – not that she was miserable – so why he should choose this particular moment to snap out of it she had no idea. When the guard's amused smirk bloomed into full blown laughter she could take it no more.

"What are you laughing at?" Azkadellia demanded indignantly.

"Oh nothing," Doc replied enigmatically, "just noticed something familiar." Glancing back to where his commander stalked along behind them, he muttered, "I give it a week, two tops."

...

Az was beginning to understand why Deeg had found her suitors to be so troublesome; some of them were just plain annoying. Not, of course, that anyone watching the eldest princess, as she showed Lord Whatever-His-Name-Was how the Central City gardens had been designed as a representative map of the O.Z., would think that she was anything but enraptured by their scintillating discourse on how everything the Royal Family had the lord seemed to possess only better. Azkadellia wondered how this could be possible given that the lord's lands were basically one big swamp.

"Indeed," the lord was saying, "That truly is a handsome representation of the southern lakes, the man who created the design for this garden was truly a master. The gentleman I had design mine, however, was a genius. I only hope that I can show you some day, Your Highness."

The eldest princess smiled and replied with one of those appropriate, vague courtly phrases that basically said nothing but pretended like they were conveying a compliment. The lord was so gratified he actually shut up for five minutes, it was a delightful break, then...

"Your Highness, I was wondering if you would do me the honour of accompanying me on a ride out of the city this afternoon. Truly it is the most beautiful day, perhaps we could even leave a few of the guards behind, I mean, goodness, you do have a lot of them."

Considering she currently had a full half of her protection detail following after her, Azkadellia had no choice but to agree with latter part of this statement, not that she actually said so out loud. Happy and the Othersider, who had inexplicably doubled her guard again, were actually on-duty, Dawkins, however, was likely here only for his own amusement. Weighing the pros and cons for a moment, Az came to the conclusion that the decrease in conversation that could be necessitated by a good ride far outweighed the probability of getting absolutely drenched by the inevitably rain that anyone could see was on the way. Nodding her assent, only to have her hand seized and kissed in gratitude, the eldest princess pulled free and turned towards the stables, trying to resist the impulse to wipe her hand on her dress all the while.

"Thank you, Your Gracious Highness," the lord orated behind her, "I assure you that I will take the utmost care with..." With a yelp and a splash, the young noble abruptly cut off midsentence.

Looking back to discover the source of the commotion, Azkadellia first caught sight of Dawkins falling over with laughter. The lord, meanwhile, was splashing about in the pond representing Finaqua Lake, screeching and spluttering in fury. Happy seemed to be having a coughing fit as the princess's gaze passed over him to...

"He slipped," Officer Gulch said flatly as he strolled innocently away from the water.

...

The Othersider was getting on Azkadellia's very last nerve; if he wasn't lurking about on- and off-duty, glowering and making everyone uncomfortable, he was cutting her off from her only escape from the interminable swarm of suitors. Not that she was anything but friendly and polite with the lords who did her the honour of playing court to her position in the Royal Court, but even the most dutiful of princesses needed a break every now and again, and she couldn't very well go into the kitchen when the cop had it staked out like that. Not to mention every off-duty guard – and any on-duty one that could find an excuse – had made their way into the kitchen as well. Peering through the crack in the backstairs door, the eldest princess could see the excitable cook fussing about the invasion, or perhaps it was the way his precious oven had been co-opted.

"This is great!" Bashful declared as the cop slammed a tray of fresh cinnamon buns down on the table and the protection details fell on it like a pack of ravenous Papay. "Old Gulchy should get upset more often," the guard continued in an audible whisper as his commander moved away to go beat another bowl of batter into submission.

"Ya think so?" Grumpy inquired caustically, grabbing a roll for himself nonetheless.

"It'll be fine," Dawkins interjected around a mouthful of buttery cinnamon goodness, "the man'll figure it out, nothing left to do but sit back and wait for the fireworks."

"An' yer basin' yer beliefs on his powers of perception as demonstrated thus far?" the Gillikin retorted sceptically.

"Sees more than you think," Sneezy chimed in as he carefully unrolled his cinnamon bun and slathered the steaming insides with butter.

"An' what brought ya ta that conclusion?"

"Things that never happened," the guard replied obscurely.

His fellow guards stared at him. "I think someone's been holding out on us," Dawkins opined, a speculative gleam in his eye as Sneezy suddenly became completely preoccupied with his desert.

...

Azkadellia didn't know whether to laugh or cry as she stared at the lord in front of her. Dawkins, however, had no such dilemma and even Grumpy was having difficulty not following his example. It would be a disaster if he did: the Gillikin was the only thing keeping his laughing comrade from plunging headlong into the river. Amusement had taken away Doc's ability to stand the moment his favourite drunken lord had attempted to approach the eldest princess using an odd one step forward, two steps back method and ended up circling all the way around the palace only to bump into her from behind.

The young lord shrieked in alarm the second he saw her then hyperventilated for a few minutes before blurting, "MyfathersaysImustcourtyou,Idon'twantto,pleasesayno!"

The guards overbalanced as Grumpy, too, succumbed to his amusement, and they plunged into the river with a tremendous splash. Eyebrow twitching as she turned her attention back to the terrified face before her, Az stated flatly, "No."

The young lord's relief was palpable. "Much obliged," he said gratefully before adding anxiously, "Er...you did mean no as in no to the courting and not no as in no to saying no right?"

Dawkins, who had been in the midst of pulling himself up the bank, collapsed back into the water again. "I meant no as in no, I do not want you to court me. Ever," Az replied sweetly with narrowed eyes.

"Oh good," the young lord uttered thankfully then just stood there as if waiting for something. The eldest princess lifted an eyebrow; the young noble glanced around in puzzlement then looked back at her expectantly.

"Waiting for something?" she finally asked in exasperation.

"Well, yes actually, usually there's a...Gah!" he squeaked then took off running.

Turning around to see what had frightened the lord, Azkadellia saw Officer Gulch storming around the corner of the palace, followed by Cain and- "DG!" she shrieked, racing forward to throw herself into her sister's arms.

...

"Azzzz, you didn't," Deeg groaned sinking her head into her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed, "I told you, I warned you that you couldn't just go and rush a man into marriage like that. It makes them run."

The eldest princess didn't feel her sister was striking the proper tone here, nor appreciating the salient point. "He said yes," Azkadellia pointed out petulantly.

"He was dead drunk!" DG retorted, "If that actually was a viable shortcut I would have spiked Cain's drink years ago!"

Across the room the Tin Man paused in the act of unpacking in order to shoot his wife a look with an uplifted eyebrow. The youngest princess merely smiled at him. Snorting, Cain returned to his task.

"Honestly, Az, what were you thinking?"

"Well," she replied, fiddling with her frock, "I caught the bouquet..."

"Oh crap," Deeg muttered ruefully, "Look Az..."

"And I did give him time," the eldest princess interrupted, "I went to see him early the next morning and gave him a week to get used to the idea."

The Tin Man stared at her in bemused fascination. "And what did Gulch say to that?" he wondered.

"Not much," Azkadellia admitted, "He mostly just stared at me like a stunned fish."

"Yes, well, I imagine he would," Cain mumbled sympathetically.

"And that didn't tip you off that something was wrong?" Deeg inquired gently.

"Well I was just so incredibly happy," Az murmured miserably, causing both DG and Cain to wince, "I just didn't think..." scowling, she looked up at the Tin Man, "I suppose you're on his side," she accused him.

"Oh no," Cain replied urbanely, "I am on DG's side, who is naturally on your side. I expect her to declare Gulch an idiot any minute now."

"Well he is," Deeg interjected, "I always knew that, but really, even if he was drunk he should have known better than to go around accepting marriage proposals like that. And furthermore..."

As the sisters launched into a full-fledged Gulch-bashing session, the Tin Man rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Poor bastard," he muttered.

...

If Azkadellia was sure of anything, it was that the last thing she wanted to be doing at this moment was attending a ball. It was nice to have DG to confide in again, but her blissful happiness was a poor companion to Az's undeniable misery. The last time they'd had a ball in the Central City Palace – had it only been three weeks ago? – the eldest princess had only one dance partner willing and able to dance with her. She'd had a wonderful time. Now she had dozens of suitors falling over themselves to ask for her hand and all she wanted to do was talk to a certain blind, oblivious, foolish, kind, honourable, gentle, warm, stupid, insensible, occasionally drunken, thoughtless idiot. And what the hell caves was Lord Fastidium going on about anyhow? She'd stopped listening several hundred syllables ago.

Turning her head towards the pompous noble in order smile and nod and pretend she had the slightest idea what he was saying, Az wondered what the storms he was up to talking to her. Then Officer Gulch barged forward and clocked the verbose lord in the jaw; Lord Fastidium hit the floor like a dropped house. The next few moments were a bit chaotic as Bashful and Sneezy leapt forward to restrain their inexplicably infuriated commander while several of the nearby gentry tended to Fastidium and everyone else crowded round to watch the row. Above the ballroom, perched on a conveniently placed balcony, Dawkins nudged Grumpy with his elbow; the Gillikin grudgingly handed over a handful of platinums. Azkadellia, meanwhile, was wracking her memory for any inkling of what Lord Fastidium might have said to set the Othersider off.

"Very well, I accept," the lord said with uncharacteristic brevity as he picked himself off the floor and straightened his clothing. Perhaps his jaw hurt.

"Accept what?" the policeman growled back.

"Your insignificant, unworthy and contemptible person's vulgar issue of challenge to an affair of honour," Lord Fastidium riposted, recovering, "a duel."

Wait, wait, WHAT?