Rifiuto: Non Miriena
"'For nights on end I dreamed of the child I carried. In my dream she was immersed in water, her eyes open, for water was her element, as it had been mine. If we were all to be slaughtered, and if I was to be among the dead, I wanted to make certain this child came forth before she entered the World-to-Come. That was the only way I could ensure she carried a name...'"
The fire crackled, giving off a warmth she had neither needed nor acknowledged. She turned another page in the book, the blankets that covered her slipping down her shoulders, giving forth a chill that mixed with the warmth that heated her skin.
"'... I stood over the smoke so that it might open my womb...'" She was so absorbed in her reading, she didn't hear the footsteps come up behind her.
"Ziva?"
"'... Despite the hour and the circumstances, I was alive, still able to give life. As time went on and the child did not appear, I was afraid that the daughter I was about to bring forth would be weak because she was so early. Tehre was a drum of panic beating at my throat...'" The footsteps got closer, and she turned another page.
"Ziva."
"'... My daughter came at dawn, after many hours and much blood. Too much, pouring out of me, but it was the price to be paid for her birth. Although she was early, she wasn't weak. She cried out and my heart opened. Her eyes were gray, as her father's were. Her hair was pale, much like the feathers of the dove. We took her into the field so that we might bury the afterbirth, though the last of the almond trees had been chopped down for wood to build the wall. We thanked Ashtoreth and Adonai. I removed my cloak to stand before them, though I was exhausted, and seven days had not passed. we did not know how many days were left to us, and because of this I could not wait to name her.'"
Instinctively, she reached down, stroking her fingers over her abdomen. The fire crackled, sending fairies into the air before they chose to return to the ground. "'I called her Yonah, for she had come into the world because of a message brought by a dove. My wife, my beloved, my daughter, my world.'" She jumped, letting out a gasp, turning to find Tim standing over her. "Tim? Baby, what are you doing up?"
"I could ask you the same, Ziva." He joined her, and she wrapped the blanket around him; it shifted, showing that she was only in her tank top and underwear. He pulled her close, settling her between his legs, her back pressed against his front, his arms going around her body after taking the book and shutting it, putting it aside. He squeezed her gently, pressing a kiss to her head as they watched the flames in silence for several minutes. "It's two on a Saturday morning-"
"We do not have to go in today. We are off rotation."
"I know, and that means we can sleep in." He countered as she turned to him.
"I could not sleep." She sighed. "I do not think I will be able to."
Tim furrowed a brow, reaching up to brush a wayward curl out of her eyes. "You okay, baby? You aren't getting sick, are you?"
Ziva chuckled softly, glancing down at their hands. "No, I am not sick. Just... tired."
He pressed a kiss to her head, breathing in the scent of her hair. "If you're tired then you need to sleep. It'll do both of us good. The last few weeks have been... hell, for lack of a better word."
She shook her head. "Tim, if I lay down on that bed again, with all those blankets and pillows," She stopped, taking a deep breath.
"You'll what, baby?" He leaned around her to meet her gaze. "Ziva, what's wrong?" She sighed deeply, her gaze focused on their entwined hands as she played with his fingers, before she finally gathered the courage to look up, muttering something. He furrowed a brow. "What did you say? I couldn't hear you."
"I said, if I lay on that bed, with all those blankets and pillows around me, I will throw up."
"Perhaps you're getting too warm- and yet, you're sitting in front of the fire, wrapped in a blanket, in your underwear." She blushed, shifting so that she faced him, her legs on either side of him, straddling his waist. She slid her hands up his chest, before cradling his face. "Ziva, I know Auntie died weeks ago, but... but this isn't healthy. You've been staying up at all hours of the night, reading, you've been eating like crazy... baby, whatever this is, it isn't healthy. You're making yourself sick-"
She just smiled, stroking her thumbs over the apples of his cheeks.
No, baby, I am just-
"No baby, I am not sick. I am just..." She shrugged, kissing him sweetly before, murmuring softy against his mouth, "I am just growing our baby." She returned to kissing him, her mouth crushing onto his, as she pushed herself further into his lap. His arms slid around her waist, pulling her tighter against him. Her arms went around his neck, and she drank him in, stifling a soft moan as he pressed against her. His hands moved to caress her back, tracing up her spine for several minutes, before she grabbed his hand. Without a word, she moved his hand along her waist and then down, resting it over her womb. He pulled away to ask, but she pulled his mouth back to hers, wanting to keep her husband in the dark just a little bit longer. When they finally broke for air, she rested her forehead to his, meeting his gaze. "I am growing our baby, Tim. Our little Shirah is forming inside me as we speak."
Minutes passed in silence, as he soaked the words in. His eyes darted to her stomach and then back to her face, and she nodded, giggling as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You're having my... our..." She nodded, biting her lip. He grinned, catching her mouth in another deep kiss, before wrapping his arms tight around her. "Oh, Ziva, baby, I love you."
She pressed a kiss to his head, giggling. "I love you, too, baby."
