A/N: Hi. I think I've given Tezuka a hair fetish. He likes hair. He likes Fuji's hair... *shrug.
I can't believe you guys despise Leiko Arai! Have… have I made her that unpleasant? I guess I must have. (T_T)
As for pot Princess's question/review: I don't believe I have any reason to make Seaki a girl.(^_^)
Anyhow, sorry for the delayed update, this chapter wasn't planned, it just came out. (o_O)
Lets see if I can invoke some more mayhem.
Edited: Just cuz it's a new year (7.1.2011)
Disclaimer: I was walking home from work when I looked up and saw a poster promoting Takeshi Konomi's manga-book signing for Prince of Tennis. (randomness)
Chapter 54
The ball hit off the wall and back against Fuji's racket to a comfortable rhythm. On its return, she swung her arm effortlessly and the ball went off to her left. She ran after it and controlled the shot so that it went towards the central target. A few techniques were thrown in here and there for her solo practise before slowing the flow down to perform a mini rally on the spot.
Somehow, Fuji managed to survive the whole day without falling into a deep and desirable daydream. But she had to fight with all her might to not sink into such amazing thoughts. She wanted to save pondering for when she was resting at home on her bed with a pillow wedged in her arms, so that if she had to smile, laugh or murmur to herself, she could enjoy the moment without interruptions. Only then would it seem that much more real to her. Truth be told, there were the odd moments in her day where she caught herself sitting motionless in class, or found her fingers brush across her cheek or on her stomach. Kikumaru, with her sweet soul, thought Fuji had taken ill. Little did Fuji's best friend know, it was none other then Tezuka showing her how amazing he can be. But Fuji refused out right to tell Kikumaru anything. The last thing she wanted was for Kikumaru to bombard her with questions to things she couldn't put words to.
Whoops! She caught herself daydreaming again and accidentally hit the ball off the top edge of the racket. The ball spun up in the air and landed in front of her before rolling away from her. That was odd. She checked the edge of the racket to see if there was a slight dent
"If I do that tomorrow, Ryuzaki-sensei will kill me." She went to retrieve the ball.
She stood upright and squeezed the ball in her hand for no reason other than to test it. She locked onto the target and spun the ball like a coin and releasing it.
"Mind if I watch?"
She wasn't expecting anyone to be around her and got a quick fright, especially being that the voice belonged to Tezuka. Her serve hit the floor and jetted out in an odd direction before disappearing for a few seconds. Fuji gripped her racket with both hands and faced him patiently. His sudden appearance made her mind develop silly thoughts, like… maybe he wanted her to elaborate on what she said this morning. Maybe he wasn't happy with the level of detail and came to get a bit more of the story.
Fuji dispelled those thoughts away with a quick blink and gave him a welcoming smile. Tezuka shifted his hands from his pockets and held onto the handle of his bag. He didn't look particularly annoyed about anything.
"You're welcome to watch." She invited him over.
Tezuka walked over to the fence behind her. He placed his bag on the court and leant against it, again placing his hands in his pockets to watch her.
"What do I own the pleasure?" She asked, feeling a little confused. It wasn't something he always did. In fact, he never watched her practise, but for that one-time two years ago. And he didn't get a chance to see her at the city games.
She waited for him to say something but his tired eyes were solely on her. Tezuka didn't plan on saying anything. Fuji tapped her fingers around the handle of her racket eagerly. She realised he wasn't going to do anything and slowly turned to face the wall. Apart from feeling unsure, she now felt a little uncomfortable. After all, she couldn't read him, which meant he could do just about anything without warning.
Fuji took out another ball from her holder and continued where she left off. She twisted the ball in her hand and knocked it against the wall. On its return, it disappeared. Being her own move, she knew where it would travel and chased after it. Tezuka followed her every move, leaving Fuji to get on with her practise.
For a while she was able to play without taking any notice of him, then she began to question were exactly his eyes where focused on. Could they possible be on her legs? A little higher? Were they following her arms or the nape of her neck when she ran in either direction and her hair flew out the way? She nearly tripped when she got lost in thought. Her front foot skidded forward the ball flew behind her, hitting the fence with equal force. She rolled her eyes and waited for the ball to roll back in front of her. It never came. She turned to see if it got lodged in the fence, deliberately avoiding Tezuka's eyes (knowing that he would say something about her not paying attention) and searched for the ball. When she couldn't see it, she had to look upon Tezuka. And he had the ball in his right hand, rotating it in his grip.
She slid a cautious glance to his eyes. He stared at the ball; he still wasn't going to say anything. Fuji pulled her dress in place and stepped forward. She held her hand out, hoping he would toss it back, but Tezuka held onto it. He glanced up, then started picking the bits of dirt off the felt. Fuji edged closer. She tilted her head playfully and took a few more steps towards him. He never looked up, until she was at arms' length, waiting for him to hand her over the ball.
"If you don't return it, there'll be nothing for you to watch." She said, teasing aside.
Though tired, his eyes were soft. "I take back what I said. I just want to look at you."
Her jaw would have hit the floor had she not clenched her teeth. She didn't know what to do with herself. If not his words then his unbroken stare unnerved her again. However hard she tried to hold back those tasty thoughts and keep her self-control, the more she found her self-control crumbling. The heat began to rise and her heart skipped within. She was blushing; slightly embarrassed; a little out of her depths. Where to put her gaze so that she wouldn't see him staring deeply at her?
Tezuka soon held his hand out and Fuji was thankful that he moved. She quickly reached over to get the stray ball. Their fingers brushed, but it felt to Fuji as if Tezuka wanted to get a hold of her hand.
"Fuji-senpai, I'm…" Someone called to her.
The two captains looked across to see Tori Nariko. The expression on Nariko's face told them they were 'seen'. Nariko stared for about a second, making sure she crossed between the two. She lifted her head a little, wondering.
"I've… I've finished training senpai. Thanks for waiting." Her voice was very suspicious, and knowing.
"Ah," Fuji slipped her hand out of Tezuka's and half-faced Nariko. "I'll lock up soon. Make sure you get enough rest for tomorrow."
Nariko turned. "Thank you, senpai." And looked up quickly. "You too. Get well rested. Bye Tezuka-senpai." She went.
Oh boy. Fuji laughed lightly into her hand. The look in her teammate's eyes meant she might have to explain 'this' tomorrow.
She walked back to the faded line and stood on it, licked her bottom lip and remembered what happened this morning. Darn… she couldn't move.
"I get the feeling there's something you want to tell me." She said before she really did go weak in the knees.
"Then, I'll take it back, what I just said, again."
Fuji didn't turn to see what he was doing when she heard him rise off the fence. She looked to the ground and saw his shadow growing over hers. She was tempted to glance over, but didn't have to as he was in a 'touchy-feely' mood and easily drew his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her left shoulder. Fuji froze. She knew he was capable of anything but when and why did he get like this? Not knowing what he would do made it all the more alarming. Fuji held her breath when his arms touched around her stomach. This thin dress, what was the point of wearing it! Every little touch went straight to her nerves. She forced herself to breathe and held his arm with her free hand.
"I just want to spend a little time with you." Tezuka told her, carelessly reminding her of this morning.
She nearly asked why, but her mind fell blank and she tired to stay composed. It wasn't working. She breathed out and couldn't quite support herself and had to lean into him. She closed her eyes knowing that she was losing herself. Something about him did that to her. She realised the power of his effect throughout the day. For example, Fuji had come to terms that she had to tell him, it was why she could walk off the courts without hesitation. But she still, after all that had happened, didn't want him to know. Yet… he drew the words out of her. The walls she had built up high enough that the sun couldn't touch her, protected others from her 'self'. And along came Tezuka. He easily… not broke them… Did he even walk through the walls? No. The only way Fuji could understand it was to say Tezuka made her break down her walls so he could walk in with no difficulty and stand on the right side of her emotions and vulnerabilities. She let him see her short-of-breath, scared and needy. She exposed herself for him. And she didn't know how!
She turned to his ear and spoke very softly. "How… how are you able to…?"
"Able to?"
"… draw my strength away from me?"
"You don't like it?" He didn't deny it.
"No."
"I like you like this."
Do you? "You're not allowed to tease me."
"Then, just for today." He murmured now resting the side of his head on her shoulder.
Just for today? Fuji opened her eyes, which regained some of her control. You mean 'this' wasn't forever? She moved her head off of his. His affection couldn't only be for today? She wanted this sensation of love every single day. She didn't ask him straightaway, as she felt the slow, almost motionless movement of his arms around her. She felt the heat in his left arm (her dress let every thing through). It was even more strained then it had been. Because of it, he couldn't really hold her as tightly as he or she would have liked. When she looked, really looked at his arms, she noticed that the sore one was horribly stressed. The veins could be seen in his fingers to the back of the hand and beyond the wrist. The other was fine and sturdy. Her eyes crossed between the two before she brought her free hand out to run her fingers over one of the protruding veins. She could feel his flowing blood, and he flinched when she pressed down on it.
"…Why just today, Tezuka-kun?"
He avoided the question. "Are you going to lock up?"
"Pardon?"
"Lock up and I'll walk you home."
He let her go, took her hand and led her to the changing rooms before she could register what was said. She followed him without fight or question towards the girls changing rooms and stood in front of the door.
"I'll wait." He told her.
She wouldn't argue but wishing to the high heavens that she could read him. She took a deep breath. Anything would be fine. Anything to reassure her that something wasn't about to ruin their reconciliation. She pressed her hand on the door and walked into the darkened room.
She flicked the switch on and sat down on the bench under the window. However much she wanted to think about their togetherness, nothing came to mind. Now alone, she had a chance to cover her face with her hands and hid in the darkness for a while.
Fuji loved and adored that Tezuka, the one others saw as a miserable and scary boy, was open and affectionate with her. He showed her all the parts of him that she hoped for, and got. Sure, there came the trivial notions of guilt for nearly giving that much up for someone who had to break and steal from her in order to get it, but it was because of that moment that the good and the bad were going to happen. The good, being 'this': holding her hand, touching her body, kissing her lips. The bad being whatever made 'this' end today.
"Come on Sumiko Fuji, he's waiting for you." She got up, undressed carefully and packed all her belongs away. She checked that the room was in order and went back out to join him. She caught him staring off into the distance. She didn't like that his mind was already set and walked in front of him. Fuji knew in her heart that she didn't want to smile, but that was apart of her. It made certain situations better. Not for others; for herself.
"Was I too long? You're daydreaming." She said, looking up at him.
He peered down, face as rigid as ever, but he wasn't blushing or distracted. He was very much in control of himself, which is more than what Fuji could say on her part. While she got changed, he went back to get his bag, and two stray balls, so when she came out he already had his things and the balls he placed in Fuji's hand so she could lock them in the changing room.
He didn't say anything as he held his hand out, inviting her to hold it. She took it. She wouldn't refuse the opportunity. Though, she didn't like the thought of 'this' not lasting a long time, he was giving her time now. Their fingers criss-crossed before they made their way from the courts. They left the school gates, which were empty. Only a few people hung around, but no one they needed to be mindful of. Unlike before, where they hid their held hands under the covering of his coat, Tezuka willingly let all those around see. Fuji didn't know whose sake he did it for but she was very grateful.
"Is this really only for today?" She asked again and heard how weak her voice became.
"It has to be." He answered her in much the same way.
She didn't understand. "Why?"
He didn't answer until they got onto a quiet side street. "Because of my arm I will need to attend another school for a few months."
There came a heavy tug on his arm. On turning back, he saw Fuji had stopped walking.
Ah… if only she didn't let him pass through her walls. She could have easily deflected this dreadful piece of news. "What do you mean? Where… where are you going?"
He stepped back to stand beside her. "Away."
Fuji didn't know what else to do but try and ease her way out of his hold so that she could press her hands together. Like this morning, he held her tightly. He wouldn't let her go.
So that's why his eyes have been distant from his morning and throughout the day; he planned on leaving. He had already decided that he would leave. She lowered her head.
"Why?" The one word was all she could manage. In her mind, so many questions were ready to spill out of her but when it came to speak them she could only ask why.
Tezuka noticed she tried to hide her eyes behind her hair, having tilted her head down. Why did she keep doing that? He was tempted to part the hair from her eyes so he could see the expression. Her voice was always soft, but her eyes said so much about her. He squeezed her hand.
"It's beyond a regular doctors' ability. I need my arm looked at more closely."
No. She didn't want to hear that, not after things were going so well. It really was too much in one day. From possibly losing it, to having it… to now have it ripped out of her hands. "…How far are you going?" Maybe if he were to stay in Japan, it wouldn't matter as much. She could sneak away if she needed to see him. The wrath of sensei would be worth it.
"…Europe, Germany." He answered.
Germany! You're going as far as Germany. Why? That's… too far. She couldn't speak. The words wouldn't come to her. The desire to argue her case was too far-gone. He would go and she couldn't change his mind. It's no wonder he wanted to watch her, stare at her, touch her and be close to her. He didn't know when he'd see her next.
"Don't worry. Be strong for your team."
"Don't go." She now begged, taking her other hand to hold over his. If it meant that one day he would no longer be by her side then… not only her composure but also her peace of mind and self-control and reasoning would be lost. She knew all this because it had happened before and it took so much for her brother to calm her down, whereby it took Tezuka only seconds to ease her… With him not around - she didn't want to think about it. "Don't go."
"I have to." He couldn't resist touching her hair, and parted the long strands from her eyes. "I'm no good to you or my team like this?"
"It never bothered me before."
He took a moment to saviour her emotion. He wanted to touch the side of her face, evening going so far as reaching his hand out. He stopped himself. Even he could see that she was taken aback by his news. "Come on." He encouraged her to walk with him. She moved but it was all by his strength. Had he let her hand go free, she knew she would have clasped against the wall and stayed their until her older brother found her. Tezuka definitely still had her control.
"How long?" Fuji soon asked.
"I'm not sure."
"If I have to go to Germany, I will."
He laughed on the inside because he knew if she could wrangle her way to Germany, she would!
After a few gestures that lead Tezuka in the right direction, they turned up at Fuji's front gate. She faced him. There was no smile.
"You really aren't playing fair." She murmured.
"What do you mean?"
"…Are you… perhaps… chastising me?"
He shook his head. "Why would you say that?"
"After all that has happened, it feels like it. I tell you the truth and now you're leaving… What I feared the most is happening. All those weeks that you didn't know… you were still here. Now you know, you're to go as far as Germany… I don't want that."
"I'm no good like this."
She knew what he meant, if he couldn't hold her, how much less could he hold a racket that was a lot lighter than she was? She understood that he needed to see a specialist. Fuji understood. It didn't mean she had to like it. In fact, it made her feel sick to know the truth.
"Don't forget you got your games tomorrow." He said hoping to redirect her attention.
"…Don't care."
It wasn't something he wanted to hear her say, but he could understand why she was withdrawn. Fuji thought about smiling, just to reassure him, but she didn't have the desire or the strength. It meant nothing if he wasn't close by. "You're right." She said, at least trying to be positive. "I understand, I really do… I just wish it didn't have to come to this. But you better come back stronger than you are now. If you come back weaker, I won't accept you." She wasn't joking.
Tezuka nodded. He had no intention of coming back weaker. There would be no point in going if that was to be the result. Going to Germany would mean that he would come back stronger and better. In that respect Fuji had nothing to worry about.
"You too, when I come back I want you to be stronger." He said.
She was going to say that he didn't have to worry about her, but after what's happened she decided it would be inappropriate if said. She wiped her cheek and met his eyes. Fuji would never be able to read him, but she wanted to know how he could be so calm about this… They weren't matched at all… he was so close but so far away.
"I'll be in school for the next two days. Come and see me." He asked.
"I will. I'll see you off if I can."
"I'd like that."
He leant forward to kiss her and she let him, but sadly couldn't kiss him back. She wanted too but she was too downcast. With the contact, she couldn't seem to get her strength back from him. Is this how he would leave her?
"Keep smiling for me Fuji-san." They were his words of departure. He lifted her right hand and kissed the back of it.
Out of habit, she managed a stronger smile for him, but as soon as he let her hands go and walked on, Fuji felt it weaken. She opened her gate and watched him walk home. He turned back once and she waved to him. She watched until he was out of her sight and lowered her gaze to the ground. She held her forearm and grimaced.
"Sorry Tezuka-kun, without you here I won't be able to smile…"
…tbc…
A/N2: Ahh… huh… I had no idea where this chapter came from. Seems as if Tezuka hijacked the flow to get this written. He wanted some time with his girl to tell her he's leaving; prime example of characters doing as they please (T_T).
Chapter 55: It's the Kantou for the ladies.
