Wow, what a great chapter to mark fifty! It doesn't seem like much until I look back at what I've written. 200 pages in word, characters so warped out of their original format I might as well give them new names, the plot changed like eight different times, and I am going to have to change boat loads but I never thought I would get this far! Well, thanks everyone for sticking with! As a warning, this chapter is going to drive you up a wall. X)
In the Rain
It's raining, of bloody course it would be raining. I'm standing in a dark meadow, rain pouring down in buckets, and I can barely see two feet in front of me. The hem of my dress is caked completely in mud, and my hair is instantly plastered to my head.
My good mood is significantly lessened.
My hand starts aching from the cold and wet.
My good mood is pretty much gone. Well, that was short lived.
I groan and roll my head, squint into the rain, check the bandage on my hand, and lift my skirts and just pick a direction.
I have been walking exactly much-too-long, though I would say the moment I was dumped into this tale was too long, when I see a large figure approaching. The shadowy unknown puts me instantly on my guard, but as I stop to try and get a better look, I identify a horse and rider. Glitches don't ride horses, I think I'm okay on that account. Another few seconds and I smile widely as I identify the figure as Donovan. "Took you long enough!" I call, though I don't know if he hears me, as he doesn't respond.
A few meters closer and he leaps off the horse, barely slowing down, as he strides right up to me. The distance is closed in less time than it takes me to even come up with a comment, his arms are around me before I can think, and suddenly he is kissing me, just at the corner of my mouth. Not close enough that the curse could confuse it for a real kiss, but close enough that I can feel my lips tingling. I can't even think through the first rush. My sluggish brain takes the following moments to work through what is happening.
I am being kissed.
Donovan is kissing me.
Donovan is kissing me of his own free will.
Donovan likes me and is-
I push him away, stumbling back, my arms moving more from shock than from any discomfort-
No, no I mean- I didn't say that. I push away… from Donovan… who was just kissing me… WHAT IS GOING ON!
"What was that?" I shout, though my voice doesn't come out quite as strong as I would have liked.
"That? That, was a kiss," Donovan says, the corners of his mouth tilt up in amusement.
"I- I-.. but- No, why?" I ask, barely even aware of what I am saying, just waiting for him to answer whatever my question is or- or say it was just s joke, or that it was just some sort of strange delusion and it never happened, but I can still feel the warmth of his lips on my cheek... "What?" I repeat, not sure what else to say.
"That was why I couldn't say yes to Jaz."
Oh, curse me. Of course my forcing an answer out of him would just have to make everything that much more difficult!
"Not to Jaz, just to every other girl in the school?" I challenge, hoping to find a flaw.
"I was kind of hoping to make you jealous," he admits.
"So the acting like a jerk was to- what?" I shout over the rain.
"You refused to notice me if I wasn't," he protests as he realizes this wasn't going quite the way he planned. Well what did he expect?! I'm not just going to- he can't expect me to-
"You wait all the way until now to tell me?" I glare.
"Elle, you act like this now and wonder why I didn't say anything when you would have stabbed me if I had tried that a few tales earlier?"
"I might still stab you! I- you can't just- No stop it!" I shout, as he tries to move closer again. "You are not allowed to make my life more difficult!"
"I thought that had been my job from day one?" he teases gently. He takes my hands and my discomfort increases more. "Elle, it's very simple, I love you. And if you would just take a minute to settle down and think- Please?"
I shut my mouth, biting off my retort. He's got that look of his when he seems to know what I'm thinking even better than I do. I take several deep breaths, forcing my self to stay calm and just think logically.
I don't hate him anymore, not remotely. Do I love him? Don't answer yet. He's easy to talk to... when he's not pissing me off. He knows me and still likes me, though that might show some mental instability. He's smart. He's kind. He's handsome, I look up at his face. He looks so confident of my conclusion.
I frown.
Grimm he's vain. How could he be so convinced that he knows better than me? I think of all the frustration that comes even with being friends. We are too similar in the wrong respects. We both have to control things, to win, and we get upset when we don't. How long could I deal with that?
"No."
Donovan is speechless for a moment. Releasing my hands, he frowns for the first time.
"Elle- I-" he closes his eyes and runs his hands anxiously through wet hair.
He looks disbelievingly down at me, a storm cloud thunders above.
"Could you imagine how frustrating-? We're too competitive and too stubborn!"
"Elle, I'm sorry I never- Please, you've just got to step away from past prejudices. I understand that you're angry with me for not telling you, for complicating things, but-"
"I did," I manage to succeed at keeping my temper... mostly, "and I would appreciate your confidence that I actually can think logically and rationally without jumping to emotional conclusions."
"Elle, please don't do this," he runs his hands though his hair again.
"Do, what Donovan?" I challenge, "Is it so hard to believe that I might turn you down based on a sensible decision? That I might want a peaceful relationship? I recognize my flaws, and I see yours and they don't mix. Why can't I do that? You are a very wonderful person Donovan but you DO have flaws."
"I know I do," his voice rises with mine, "but that's not the point!"
"Really Donovan? Because I'd say that's a pretty big one! I'm not looking for perfection, but-"
"Oh? Because it sounds like you're asking for a person without flaws."
"That's not what I meant Donovan and you know it!" I shout as lighting and thunder crack almost simultaneously above, scaring both me and the horse, but Donovan is too wrapped up.
He paces wordlessly about. Alternating between looking up with a pained expression and anxiously rubbing his face and hair. I crush down that little inkling of guilt.
Finally he looks up."Do you love me?" he asks, face stoic.
I close my eyes. Yeah, yeah, I've read the stories, love conquers all. If I loved him, maybe it would still be worth it. But I've read the stories, if I have to think about it, then it's not... right? Oh what do you know. I'm the expert here.
"No."
Donovan pushes back his hair again, looking defeated.
We stand silently in the rain, neither of us able to look the other in the eye, until a crashing, blinding, heart pounding loudest thunder yet makes me cringe and sends the horse rearing.
"You should take the horse back," Donovan says just loudly enough to barely be made out over the echoing rumble. "I- I need some time to think," he mutters.
I don't feel good about leaving him out here, even for the curse, I don't think the lightning is quite natural, and I have a feeling that the glitches are somewhere about. I just can't stay, I need to think, and I can't do that with Donovan in front of me. I jog over and settle the horse. It's all rather difficult with only one and a half hands, but I hike up the dress and finally get on the horse. I give a final glance at Donovan who is now just staring at the lighting in the distance, and start back off the way he came.
