Sorry for such a long wait! Real life has been busy and I just got back from vacation lol One more chapter after this and then Nora and Lana's story is over, unfortunately. We have been thinking of a sequel but if we do one, it won't be right away, sorry to say. Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are awesome! I do not own anything in this chapter, besides Nora, everything else belongs to their rightful owners. Co-written by Chevygirl
Chapter 53
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A few weeks had passed. Kozik's funeral had been small and quiet, only a few people showing up to say goodbye before he was cremated. Lana was there, but she hadn't talked to anyone but Happy, who had taken role as he pitbull guard dog. Things had seemed to calm down since then though. For that Juice and Nora were grateful. It gave Lana time to grieve and Juice and Nora time to settle in with Adelia.
Juice stood above Adelia's crib, watching the little baby sleep. He found himself doing that lately. Nora was still sore and tired. The last thing she wanted was him touching her. He got that, he expected that she wouldn't be in the mood for a couple of months. After Adelia's welcoming home party, they'd had their first awkward night in bed.
She thought the worst of him, just because he'd talk to some of the girls. He knew he probably shouldn't have let them flirt with him. He was still skating on thin ice with her, but he should be able to socialize without her looking over his shoulder.
He'd come to a compromise with her though. No Friday night parties for a few months. He could handle that. And he still got go to other parties, so it wasn't a total loss. Besides, he got to stay home and watch the baby. It wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. When she was awake, she was full of life and he adored her. She was even cute while she slept, but he could only watch her sleep for so long.
After watching Adelia for a hour, he headed back to the room. Nora was fast asleep, catching what little sleep she could get while the baby was out. Staring at her, he remembered why he fought so hard to fix this. He loved this girl. He'd nearly gone out of his mind when she was taken. Hell, just when they were on a break he was fucked up.
He would never understand why he was so drawn to her. Why he couldn't stay away from her when he knew it'd be better if he did. He was no good for her. No good for Adelia as long as he and Nora didn't trust each other.
That was it, wasn't it? She didn't trust him, and he didn't blame her. He'd hurt her a couple of times, and he'd probably hurt her a few more after this. He screwed up, and it always seemed to be her that got screwed over.
"Juice?" Looking over, he noticed she had opened her eyes. She looked so tired.
Smiling weakly, he toed off his shoes and pulled off his clothe. Even if he couldn't be with her, didn't mean she cut him off completely. It was all about compromising. "Go back to sleep, babe. I'm coming to bed now." He whispered, crawling into bed behind her.
He tried to ignore the fact the his shirt she was wearing had ridden up in her sleep, or the fact she wasn't wearing anything under it. No sex. No sex. She wasn't ready. Wrapping his arm around her, he nuzzled her neck. Feeling her squirm did not help his current situation. "Sorry, babe. Can't help it." He whispered, hoping she knew he wasn't trying to pressure her.
And he wasn't. He was a guy in bed, naked, with his beautiful girlfriend. You couldn't blame him for having a hard on. Nora was tense under his arm, he wasn't sure what to do. After a minute, Nora look back over her shoulder. He could barely make out her face, but the moonlight gave him a little light. "It-it's okay. Just . . . just don't be too rough. Only anal."
Juice could hardly restrain himself when Nora gave him the green light. He hadn't fucked her or anyone else for weeks and that whole time his self-control had been wearing thin. He needed his girl. Gripping her hip firmly, he ground up against her as he kissed her neck, teeth grazing her soft skin.
A soft moan escaped her lips and she reached up and placed her hand on the back of his head. She missed this, missed him and she hadn't even realized it. She didn't quite trust him yet and wasn't sure if she ever would again, but she knew she needed him, physically at least.
Juice moved his hand up her side and around to cover her breast as Nora turned her head to meet his lips with hers. When she nipped at his lower lip he lifted up just enough to move over her without breaking the kiss.
Nora let her legs fall apart as Juice slid his fingers in between her folds. His thumb circled her clit and she moaned and could feel him press his hard on into her leg at the sound. The tension began to build between her legs and she was just beginning to really enjoy it, rolling her hips into his hand, when he suddenly pulled away and flipped her onto her stomach.
"What . . . ?"
Juice leaned over her, his front to her back, and cut her off. "You said just anal. I keep going the way I was and neither of us are gonna have a say in what happens next." He whispered in her ear, sending tingles down her spine.
Cool air hit her back as Juice lifted himself back up to his knees and slid his cock through her folds a couple times, gathering her juices and relishing the feeling of her before he positioned himself. He slowly began inching into her. She was so fucking tight and he worried for a moment that he might not last.
Nora buried her face in the pillow as Juice slowly filled her up. She'd only done anal a couple times and it hadn't really been her thing, but overall it wasn't bad. She just wasn't used to it and Juice wasn't small by any means.
"You ok, baby?" He asked after a moment. He was all the way in, but wanted to give her a moment to adjust.
"Yeah, just go slow." She answered.
He wrapped one hand around her waist and gently began pulling out as his other hand reached between her legs and found her clit again. He wanted her to enjoy this too.
He managed to keep his careful control for a few moments until Nora got closer to her release. If only she knew what she did to him just by the sounds she made. He didn't even realize that his hips had picked up the pace all on their own. As her whimpers and breathing came faster, his hips seemed to move at the same rhythm and when she shuddered with release, Juice slammed into her and found his as well.
After a moment, he caught his breath and rolled off of her, kissing her back. "Sorry." He whispered.
Nora turned her head toward him, eyes closed. "It's ok. I'm ok." She said sleepily as he pulled her into him and buried his face in her hair.
"Doin' ok, baby?" Gemma asked Lana, who was sitting on top of one of the picnic tables at Happy's request for her to get some fresh air while he worked in the garage, much to her own dismay.
"Yeah." Lana lied.
Gemma fixed her with a sideways glance. "You look a little pale."
"Don't feel too hot." And she didn't. She'd felt like crap a lot lately. The depression she'd gone into had taken its toll and she'd continued to lose weight. She still hated the idea of leaving that dorm room or talking to anyone and there was only one reason she'd been sleeping and eating just enough to keep from starving to death.
Happy had refused to give up on her and he'd been the only one who had been able to get through to her. He'd made it clear he was there for her like he had said. He had asked her if she thought Kozik would've wanted her to just give up and spend the rest of her days miserable. She knew he wouldn't. That gave her a reason to get her shit together and try. Well, sort of.
As cliché as it was, Happy had been her rock and she found herself falling for him all over again. It felt wrong, Kozik hadn't even been gone two months, but Happy seemed to be able to somehow lessen the pain of losing him. He was proving to her that letting her walk away from him by making her think he didn't care, had been the biggest mistake of his life and he was determined to make it up to her.
Just then, a familiar car pulled into the lot and Juice got out. Lana took a deep breath, preparing herself for some much dreaded socialization. Gemma reached over and touched her arm. "It's ok baby. She'll understand. We all do." She said before kissing her on the cheek and then crossing the lot toward Juice and Nora.
Nora had had the baby right after it had all happened and Lana had yet to see either of them. She knew she should feel guilty, but just couldn't quite find it in her. She did feel a little bad that she wasn't looking forward to seeing them now though. That meant talking and human interaction. What the fuck was she supposed to say. 'Your baby is cute and my boyfriend is dead. What else is new?' Yeah, right.
She sat there and watched as Gemma eagerly took the baby from Juice and carried her toward the clubhouse. She stopped in front of Lana, Juice and Nora behind her. Juice refused to make eye contact and Nora just looked at her sympathetically. For some reason that pissed her the fuck off.
"I think someone wants to meet you, Lana." Gemma said, moving the pink blanket away from the baby's face.
Lana looked at her and let a small smile turn up one side of her mouth. She looked at Nora. "She's beautiful." She said quietly and somewhat sadly. She suddenly realized how badly she'd wanted to have a family with Kozik and how that would never happen now. She felt tears burn the backs of her eyes and wondered if she would ever stop being so emotional. If she would ever stop thinking about him at every turn.
"Thanks." Nora said quietly, that look that made Lana feel absolutely pathetic still on her face.
"I'm gonna take her inside and show her off." Gemma said, disappearing inside with the baby.
"Go find the guys." Nora said to Juice. He gladly took the chance to escape the uncomfortable situation and headed inside while Nora sat down next to Lana. "How's it goin?" She asked hesitantly.
"He's dead, Nora. How do you think it's goin?" Lana snapped. "Sorry." She said a moment later.
"It's ok. I can't say I understand, but I get it." Nora said. She didn't have the first clue what Lana was going through, but she could imagine.
They both sat there for a while, not talking. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you guys. I just…" Lana started.
"Needed some time. It's ok."
"No. I just didn't give a shit. About anything." Lana said, looking at her finally. "I still don't really. Starting to wonder if I ever will again." She wiped away a stray tear as it rolled down her cheek.
Nora looked at her, confused, but was at a loss for words.
Lana stared down at the pavement in front of them. "All I think about is him. Every second of every day. Everything reminds me of him." She paused for a moment and then scoffed. "Ya know Lorca called asking if he should have some of the guys clean out our house up in Tacoma." She turned to Nora. "What the fuck do you say to something like that? I mean, am I supposed to let them do it or am I supposed to do it myself? How would I be able to when I can't even look at a picture of him without losing my shit?" She looked away as she felt the tears build up again. "Or even fucking talk about him without crying."
It was silent for a few more moments. "Lana!" They heard Happy call from across the lot.
He had glanced over occasionally to make sure Lana was still there. He knew she didn't want to be outside and he kind of felt like a dick for making her, but she needed to get out of that room. When he saw Juice and Nora pull up and then saw the two girls talking he'd been slightly relieved at first, hoping talking to the blonde would be good for her, but then he'd seen how upset she looked and then realized that the conversation had of course turned to Kozik.
Lana jumped down from the table and crossed the lot toward the garage when he motioned for her. She didn't know why she gave in to his every order lately, but she had. Maybe it was because it was just easier than trying to think for herself.
Halfway there, she stopped, suddenly feeling extremely lightheaded. She could feel the sweat forming on her forehead as the nausea feeling built and white lights invaded her vision. She didn't even have time to wonder what was happening as she hit the ground.
Opening her eyes, she saw Happy staring at her, looking pissed. She looked around and realized she was on the couch in the clubhouse, Gemma came over and placed a cold rag on her head. "Guess you're not ok." She said.
"That's because she's hardly fuckin eating." Happy growled.
"Probably low blood sugar." Lana looked over and saw Tara. "I know this is a difficult time for you, Lana, but you need to take care of yourself." She said as Gemma handed her one of the sandwiches she had made for the guys.
Lana sighed and took it. She looked at Happy and realized she wasn't going to get out of eating it so she took a bite. "Eat all of it." He said, heading over to the bar where Jax was, while watching her out of the corner of his eye.
"I'll check on you later." Tara said, placing a hand on her arm before leaving.
Nora came over and sat down next to her after handing the baby to Gemma and watched her as she ate. Lana raised an eyebrow at the blonde when she didn't say anything. Nora just returned the look, trying to silently convey her thoughts to Lana.
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Nora and Lana sat in silence, neither knowing what to say. Nora didn't think anything she said would make it better, and Lana just didn't want to talk. Obviously Kozik was still a sore subject, but Nora missed her best friend. She wished she could talk to her. After all Happy had done to her, it looked like they were getting closer again.
Could she and Juice get passed everything then? All the trust issues and betrayal? Looking over at the bar, she noticed him talking to the guys while showing off Adelia. Smiling weakly, she knew he loved showing her off. He loved his daughter, and that was one of the things she didn't doubt when it came to him.
"Things better between you two?" Lana said out, her voice so quiet Nora almost missed the question.
That was the question, wasn't it? Were things better between her and Juice? Honestly, she didn't know. Lana was asking though, and it was an improvement from what happened outside. "We had sex the other night. It clicks when we're together, but I . . . every time we're here and I see him talking to one of the crow eaters, I'm wondering if he's slept with her. I don't trust him, and I'm scared he'll cheat again." She confessed.
She knew she shouldn't burden Lana with her problems. She was in no state to give her advice, but Lana was the closest friend she had. She didn't have anyone else to talk to about this. "Trust is hard to win back. Don't take his crow if you can't. Once you're crowed, there's no getting out." Lana explained.
She knew how being an old lady worked, even if she wasn't one. She knew one that crow was on her body, there was no backing out. You were stuck for life. If there was any doubt in Nora's mind, and she knew there was, she needed to know not to get one. Lana knew the next step, at least in Juice's mind, would be to crow Nora.
The blonde glanced at the bar. She'd been excited to get his crow for months. She couldn't wait to be officially his, but now it sounded like a death sentence. He'd broken her heart more times than she should have allowed him to, and a part of her knew that he'd keep breaking it.
Juice glanced over, as if knowing she was watching him, and flashed her one of his goofy smiles and her heart melted. She loved that man, that was why she couldn't let him go. No matter how much she knew she should leave, she couldn't. Even without the crow, she was stuck. Now with Adelia, she definitely couldn't leave. She had to think of her first now.
Adelia needed her father in her life, she couldn't take her away from him. Hell, she needed Juice. She was just shy of being twenty one, she didn't know how to raise a kid on her own. Not that Juice did either, but he was probably more capable of doing it than she was. He had a full time job, he could support Adelia and her. As low as that sounded, she needed Juice both financially and physically.
Did that make her a bad person? Maybe, but she was just looking out for the well being of her daughter. Their daughter. She smiled weakly back at Juice, giving him a small wave. She watched him for a moment, smiling as he showed off their daughter. He was telling them all about the little things she did. He was proud of her, as he should be.
It was this man she fell in love with. It was the man who praised his daughter just for blowing spit bubbles and simply smiling. This was the man she'd happily wear his crow for. He loved her, craved her even, and Nora loved every minute she was with him. This was Juan Carlos, the man he hid from the world.
It was Juice she hated. The man the club created. He thought with his dick and didn't care who he hurt. It was Juice that hurt her time and time again. He was the one she didn't trust when it came to being faithful.
Juice and Juan Carlos were the same man though. That was the part she needed to accept. If she wanted to be with Juan Carlos, she had to accept Juice. Fuck, she was confusing even herself thinking about this.
SOA
Lana came out of the bathroom after a shower, wearing just a tank top and a pair of pajama shorts. When she finished towel drying her hair, she looked up to see Happy pulling his shirt over his head, back to her. She paused, watching him for a moment as he removed his gun from the back of his jeans and his knife from his belt.
Walking up behind him she rested her hands on his shoulders and he tensed when he felt her, relaxing once he felt her rest her cheek against his back. She slid her hands down and around his waist and he covered her arms with his hands.
"I'm pregnant." She said quickly before she could change her mind. She'd been too scared to tell him the first time. That wasn't an option this time, not only because she knew she couldn't put herself through the same shit again, but because Nora had figured the whole thing out before Lana had even suspected it. She'd made her take a test and told Lana that if she didn't tell Happy, then she'd do it herself.
Happy tensed again, not sure what to say. He knew he couldn't lose his shit. That's what she was afraid of. He also knew her getting rid of it wasn't an option. She'd already done that once and regretted it. He turned to face her, stoic expression ever present.
"If you don't want any part of it, I get it. You never promised me anything and you didn't ask for this. I don't wanna tie you down." She said.
He stared at her for a long moment before grabbing her face and lifting it. "You're wrong. I promised you I wasn't ever gonna let you go again."
Lana looked at him, shocked. "But-"
"I might not have ever admitted this before, little girl, but I'd give anything to make the last six years up to you and being here for you is the only way to do that. Besides, Koz would haunt my ass if I didn't take care of his kid."
