Touhou Gensokyo Girls

Episode 54: Thieves in the night (Solar corpse of wisdom)


EARTH PALACE: midday

Satori awoke from sleep, and for the first time of her life at her home, she was feeling all cold and stiff, she wandered out to see Rin and Utsuho sitting on the couch eating mice, the hell raven had made a small sun to keep the room warm enough, without endangering everyone with radiation.

Rin was about to say something, but Satori already understood what was amiss, "Your little show-off yesterday have made a rift in the ceiling above, and now the cold from the Ancient city is flowing in, and we are out of dead bodies to keep the flames high..."

"Wait… didn't you get a large pile of corpses from that overlord youkai?" Utsuho asked a bit puzzled.

"Well… I think you may have accidently burned it all yesterday, only ashes remain of the pile now." Rin looked depressed, she had worked hard for those corpses, "And the number of human dead people seem to have declined here as of late, so it may take some time to stockpile them." She explained further with a tired expression.

Utsuho was scratching her head, none of this would ring a bell, actually most of yesterday seemed to be very faint in her mind.

"You two have definitely enjoyed yourself yesterday, but today we make everything right." Satori commanded her two pets to fix their errors.

"We have indeed." Rin grinned as most of the night's party was still lingering in her mind.

"I will fix the rift above, in the meantime, Orin, get more fuel to the flames," Satori turned to her other pet and contemplated a dilemma, "And Okuu... no, don't warm everything with your nuclear powers, it's still too dangerous."

Utsuho was all smiles and sunshine, even literally in her case, "Then I'll go with Orin, I've always wanted to see how you catch dead bodies."

Rin shook her head, "This not a job for two, you just stay here sis and-"

"I got nothing to do, and you promised to show me the world of the sky." Utsuho protested and made the puppy dog eyes,

Rin was about to counter the argument, but one look from Satori told her to accept, "Very well Okuu sis, it's almost night above, so let's hurry."

"Way to go Orin~" Utsuho chipperly sang as she followed the Kasha.


THE WORLD ABOVE: night

In the dark of the night, Rin and Utsuho ascended to the upper world of Gensokyo, both of them looked at the full moon that was high up in the sky.

"The moon is so pretty." Utsuho gazed longingly at the moon.

Rin had a feeling of delight as she sat down her wheelbarrow, while she pondered about where to begin their hunt first, "It is indeed, but its light is disadvantages to us since it will be more difficult for us to hide, especially for you since flying would give you away too easily, so remember to always be sneaky, a good thief stays in the dark and wait until no one is looking before she makes her move." She lectured her hell raven comrade.

"I'll do my best to be sneaky Orin." Much to Rin's dread, Utsuho shone like a sun at her… literally.

Rin finally decided on a place to begin their gathering of corpses, "Let's go Okuu, I know a place who is in need of a body population decrease." She smiled as they sat out on their mission.

NEAR THE HUMAN VILLAGE: after moon

Not long after, they reached the wake that was erected on the outskirts of the human village, two old people both tragically died at the same time from food poisoning.

"Here we are Okuu, see all those humans crying over their elders that passed away, so unaware of our presence-" Rin monologued more to herself than her partner.

"So what do we do? Attack them?" Utsuho asked curiously, to know how she dealt with these puny humans.

"No-no, that would be too much of a risk and possibly break the corpse." Rin made all sorts of strange gestures to stop Utsuho from even thinking of attacking unarmed people, "Let me show you, how it's done." Rin smirked with confidence and with the agility and swiftness of a cat, she was beside the coffins and in a fraction of a second the corpses were gone.

"Who goes there!?" A man shouted to what he thought looked like some people moving in the shadows.

Until he discovered that the coffins were vandalized and the corpses… gone, "That cat again! Can the dead not even rest in peace any more!?" He muttered to himself as he went on to inform the community.

In the distance, they could hear the shouts and screams from humans as they alarmed one another.

Utsuho was handed the other corpse, "Seriously, this one smells really bad Orin!"

Rin was just about to reply when she heard footsteps in the far distance, "Someone is coming! Quick you take this corpse and let's get out of here!"

A man was spotted scouting around for the corpse thieves, but his limited visibility was unable to pick up the hell animals hiding in the dark and left soon after.

"Orin... couldn't we have defeated him? He looked weak." This type of retreat wasn't something Utsuho understood.

"Yes we could, But! We mustn't be recognized at all *sis*." Rin tried to explain, but it fell on deaf raven ears, so she instead just muttered, "Let's get these two bodies back down to miss Satori."


SCARLET MANSION COURTYARD: midnight

In the moonlight Satori stood, studying the huge castle of vampires as she neared the main gate.

"State your business outsider." Meiling demanded to know of this stranger. But what Satori could see with her third eye was an entirely different sentence, "This youkai looks really weird, is there some sort of plague growing around her chest?"

Satori frowned at that thought, but she still tried to uphold a polite attitude, "I've come to bargain with a resident of this mansion, namely Patchouli Knowledge."

"Lady Patchouli does not wish any visitor." Meiling got into a fighting position, "Please go back where came from."

Satori began looking deep into this guardian's mind and found a weakness, a weakness of boredom, "My name is Satori, I'm a story writer, here let me show you." and from her backpack she produced two fine examples of her works. "This one is about a young adventurer who happened be the king's only son who was presumed dead by his queen-"

Meiling instantly lit up like a child who just saw Santa Claus fly by, "So you are here to show your stories to lady Knowledge?!"

Satori smiled as her plan seemed to work, "Yes I am in fact, so if you like to let me enter and speak to her, that would mean so much to me." she played up her plea.

"Of course… she would love to speak to you." Meiling made puppy dog eyes at Satori, "Oh… and… could I please get just one of theses books, I've haven't read a good book in... years."

"Of course, for your kind understanding, I will give you two." Satori offered with a polite curtesy.

"Thank you so much." Meiling wanted to give this weird stranger a hug, but composed herself and instead said, "This way, writer Satori."


When Meling opened the doors to the Scarlet library, Satori gasped, she have seen glimpses of this place in others' minds, but this was breath taking, "So… many… books!", she wondered how many centuries it would take to read them all.

Patchouli sat at her usual desk working on her upgraded mind blocking spell, it startled her when someone suddenly spoke.

"Excuse my intrusion lady Knowledge, but a known writer has come from far away to meet you, milady." Meling introduced her in sheer excitement.

Patchouli looked up to see a face she never wanted inside her home, "Meiling your fool! Do you have any idea what you have brought inside?"

Meling looked both hurt and confused at the same time, Patchouli wasn't usually as mean as her vampiric mistress could be at times.

Patchouli was about to send the mind reading thing away, but Satori spoke her piece, "Miss Knowledge, please hear me out, I'm willing to bargain for some of your time."

Patchouli wondered if this would be wise to have her here longer than she had to, but this was a unique opportunity, "You can speak your request, but do not, under any circumstances, read our hearts and minds."

Satori decided it was best to accept the terms, if she was going to get anywhere near their famous library, "You have my word… help me find what I seek and I shall have no need for such measures."

Pleased with the answer Patchouli replied, "Good… So what is it you want my help for?"

Satori explained the problem their were having and finished with, "Do you have a spell that could heal a large rift of that magnitude?"

Patchouli searched her mind for a solution until she spoke, "Well I do believe I got a spell that could do such a feat."

"That's relief to hear," Satori sighed and smiled.

"But you said you would be ready to bargain for my help, so I am interested to hear what you have to offer." Patchouli folded her hands and looked thoughtful over them, "Your dreamed up adventures don't interest me."

Satori nodded, this much she expected, "Well stories are my specialty, but I know that alone wouldn't do it, so I've got these for you."

Patchouli looked at the first one, it was about all the species of the underworld, the next was a book of Flora in the deep and the last was about mysteries of the underdark, "Those would be a satisfactory offer."

"I'm glad we could reach an agreement." Satori smiled contently.

Patchouli was, out of habit, about to order her familiar to get the book for her, but remembered that she was not home at the moment, some party was going on somewhere that Koakuma attended, so instead she said, "Wait here, I'll find what you are looking for."

A minute passed and Patchouli came back with an abnormally large book in her hands, she laid it on her desk and opened it, she then flipped a number of pages before uttering, "Here is the answer to your problem, an earth mending spell designed to close tunnels without collapsing the cave."

Satori moved over beside Patchouli to get a better look, "Sounds like it's what I need." She confirmed and smiled a cheerful smile.

After a lengthy bargain, Satori was allowed to copy the spell, and there after, she ventured home.


YOUKAI MOUNTAIN: evening

"Corpses at twelve O'clock… and a whole lot of them." Rin whispered to her college as they approached a Tengu cemetery.

Utsuho looked puzzled at the cemetery, "So… how do we get them all Orin?"

Rin made an evil grin, "Watch and learn." and with those words she was gone… like a ninja in the night.

Rin looked at them to see not all the corpse seemed to have been that old in life, maybe some kind of accident had happened, as she was sneaking around the cemetery, she counted fourteen corpses in total, "Now for the right moment to strike… hehe." she thought to herself as she laid hidden in wait for an opportunity to present itself.

Aya quickly spun around when she thought she saw movement at the coffins and with another glance she spotted to her surprise that all the corpses were... gone, Aya was just about to sound the alarm, when a much younger tengu screamed, "MY GRAND DAD IS GONE!"

At first everyone thought it just a kid crying over his loss, but then everyone noticed that their grand parents too were literally gone! In a couple of seconds, a search was ordered and everyone were volunteering, the second after that, the patrol force was alarmed and investigation began.

Rin and Utsuho watched from a distance as the tengus were scanning the area for clues, like wasps swarming around their hive.

Rin was suddenly aware of the problem of transporting the dead tengus back to the earth palace and of the danger they were in, if caught by the tengus.

Utsuho could see her comrade getting more nervous with every second, "Orin, I can shoot them from here." She offered helpfully.

"No, that would give us aw-" Rin was whispering before a tengu was flying right above them.

"INTRUDERS!" one tengu shouted as loud as possible, in a split of second a dozing tengus were over them.

"Oh! Crap!" Rin cursed in frustration and stormed away with Utsuho right behind her.

A taller heavy built authority figure tengu shouted after them, "SURRENDER THE CORPSES YOU HAVE TAKEN! AND WE MAY SHOW YOU MER-"

But before the tengu boss could finish his speech, Utsuho fired her nuclear canon right at him, the tengus scattered to all sides to avoid being roasted alive, "Is that all you people dared!" Utsuho taunted the tengus for what to her seems to be a lack of backbone...

But then a legion of flying tengus were after them at supersonic speed.

"RUUUN!" Rin shouted as they tried to get away with all fourteen corpses on their backs and in the cartwheel.

The tengu force quickly closed in and Utsuho began shooting at them with her right arm, while holding eighth of the corpses with her left.

Rin ran as fast as she could with her cartwheel with the remaining six corpses stabled on top of it, but it was futile, she was attacked by tengus from all sides, to defend herself she called on spirits from the underworld to come to her aid.

Meanwhile Utsuho unleash a volley of huge nuclear energy cores to keep the Tengus at a distance.

But the Tengu were seasoned warriors and held the sky to their advantage, both underdwellers were being targeted and hit from multiple angles at once.

Rin's ghostly allies could only cover for so many bullets at the same time, some bullet's got through, she was hit in the side of her arm and her cartwheel was hit, and it, and the bodies it was carrying tilted to the side.

Utsuho too had to abandon her cargo to gain some mobility, she was being overpowered by a dozen crow tengus, she used her nuclear shield and brute force to keep the tengus from overwhelming her on close range.

Aya… as always, found this too good an opportunity to get a good scoop for her next issue, so she used her time flying in and out of the battle while taking pictures of the battle that was raging on, she got a number of offensive comments for taking pictures instead of actually helping them bring down these dishonorable corpse thieves.

Wounded, but still quick on her feet, Rin arrived at the tunnel they used to exit the underworld, "OKUU! DOWN HERE!" She shouted as she dodged a sword from a wolf tengu that would have cut her head off had it been there a second later.

Utsuho, who also had sustained a number of hits to her skin, was more then happy to get a away from this futile endeavour, despite the fact that fleeing battle wasn't her thing, fighting an army of supersonic birds was making her seriously dizzy, she used her atomic ability to create gravity to counter the tengu's superior agility and speed.

Utsuho quickly grabbed Rin and the two large animals dove down into the tunnel with so much weight behind them to accelerate their speed as much as possible without colliding with the tunnel walls.

"Where are you two going in such a hurry!" A bridge princess demanded to know as she spotted familiar face in high speed.

"FLEEING!" Rin answered quickly as they passed right over the bridge.

"Fleeing from what!?" Parsee yelled after them, but that question was answered a split second later, as a battalion of crow tengu was in hot pursuit and mowed her down because she was in their way.

The people of the underground city were in awe, as the most intense chase scene played out right above their heads, even the oni looked away from their sake to see if the two animals could outwit the tengu flying force in a game of cat and mouse.

Satori had just finished repairing the rift and already she could feel how the heat from below began to dominate the climate of her beloved palace, when her two pets came to her battered and worn-out without a single corpse to show for, immediately her third eye picked up everything that had transpired, "Hide in the storage room, and don't come back out until I come and tell you to!" She commanded hastily.

The two corpse thieves did what they were told and wandered off, tired and beaten.

The following day, Satori had noticed the tengu activity nearby, she suspected they knew who the two animals belonged to, but because of her mind-reading eye, it made the tengus think twice about paying her a visit, she received no visit from the foreign air force that day.

The next day, Satori sat inside the palace drinking tea, when Rin and Utsuho walked up to her with a piece of paper in their hands, Satori didn't have use her third eye to guess what the news was about.

"See miss Satori! We are on the front page of bunbunmaru news!" Utsuho had an amazed look on her face and handed the paper over.

Satori received the newspaper with the title spelling, 'Corpse Theft on the Youkai Mountain.'

"I don't think we can ever show our faces on the Youkai Mountain again." Rin uttered in a tired voice, the chase was still taking its toll on her.

"Or at least in tengu controlled domain, but yes, don't steal corpses from the tengus, they are people we can't tolerate to be fighting." After having read the entire article, Satori folded it together and dropped it on the table.

Rin nodded in agreement, they were too dangerous to mess with and if she tried to steal from them again, she knew they would be ready for her, but if she could just get her wheelbarrow back, that or maybe a spare, things would work out.


Author notes: From both of us, to all of you, Happy Holidays.