AN-This chapter is all BL. This is the last of them together in the story until possibly the epilogue. I hope you all won't be too disappointed with them, but I thought this was the ending they needed. The rest of the chapters after this will be NH with some JP helping them.The chapters will also be a bit longer then this one.I hope you enjoy!
Now for my rant after last night's episode. That nanny must DIE!I seriously wanted Haley to stab her with that fork at the dinner table. Why was she even at dinner with them. She is such a skank, had me frowning the whole time. I did not enjoy that episode, in fact I honestly think that is the first episode of this show that I truly hated. If not for the minor Naley/Jamie I would have lost my damn mind watching it. As you can tell I'm not a happy girl.
Chapter 53
Future Promises
Brooke had left the hospital alone needing some space and time to herself. She was making a real effort to forgive Nathan and to forgive Haley for everything. She knew it would be painful, but in order to ensure a renewed friendship between them all, there had to be an understanding by all parties involved. She loved Haley and Nathan and she wanted nothing more in this world than to get past all the crap that happened for everyone's sake.
"Is this seat taken?" Luke asked coming into their group hangout to see Brooke sitting alone in the corner.
"No," she smiled gesturing for him to have a seat.
Luke pulled out the chair across her sitting as he examined her body language trying to gage what type of mood she was in before he dove into any conversation with her.
"How you holding up?" he asked a mellow looking Brooke.
"I'm ok," she said. "I just talked to Haley, she went home today," she told Luke.
"I know. Jake called me. I thought I would swing by there later to visit after she rests some and feels up for visitors."
"Good idea," Brooke said.
"So… you guys talked. That must have been difficult," he said.
"Not really. I mean it's kind of hard to work out your problems if one person doesn't know the other person knows," she said.
"Wait, I'm confused. Who doesn't know what?" he asked. "I thought everything would be out by now for sure."
"Apparently not. Haley doesn't have any clue that I know about her and Nathan. According to Peyt she doesn't even know Nathan is in love with her….yet."
"Wow, I just knew that my brother would be screaming he loved her as soon as she opened her eyes. I wonder what happened."
"I don't know, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he does. You can't hold that type of thing inside forever, it always comes bursting out whether you want it to or not.
"That's for sure," he agreed giving her a smile. "You think that we can all move past this?"
"Yeah, if we want," she said.
"Yeah, I want that too. I hope one day my brother can forgive me. I want his respect and trust back."
"I think you have it. Nathan is not exactly the poster boy for saintly hood," she laughed a bit. "Mistakes were made all around, of course some anger was expected. He loves you, that's what matters. The rest will come eventually," she assured.
"You're right. I just worry," Luke said.
"What are you worried about?" Brooke asked.
Luke looked sadly across the table into her waiting eyes.
"I worry that things will never be the same. That no matter if he forgives me or not, he'll never see the same brother he once saw. Will he be able to ever really trust me without worrying if I'm stabbing him in the back, or will he secretly always resent me for what I've done with you?"
"I think if Nathan tells you he can forgive you, then you can take his word," she said. "You know your brother better than anyone, if he says something you know he means it. He never does anything in his life halfway, he wouldn't be Nathan Scott if he did."
Luke knew she was right. Nathan had never been a half assed person when it came to anything. He just hoped the same applied when it came to forgiving him.
Both of them fell into a comfortable silence reflecting over everything that happened as of late. Luke watched her with a sense of dread flowing through him knowing what he had to gather up the courage to talk to her about. He in no way wanted to put pressure on Brooke, but he just needed to know where she stood on the whole possibility of giving him even a small fraction of a chance at being with her.
"I have missed you Brooke," he said breaking the silence.
"It's only been two days," she smiled a little teasingly at him.
"Two days of torture, hardest days of my life," he admitted.
"I'm not that memorable," she said. "You probably just missed the fabulousness of my bitchy ways," she laughed.
"A little," he laughed. "In all seriousness though, that's not what I missed," he almost whispered. Brooke's face turned serious as she saw his jaw slightly tighten as he began tapping a spoon nervously against the table. She brought her hands over stilling his as their eyes locked with so much intensity.
"That's a little irritating," she said referring to the noise of the spoon smacking against the table.
"Sorry," he said releasing the spoon completely. "I need to know where we stand, Brooke. I think you know how I feel about you. I just need to know that if what I felt was in my mind, or was there a small piece of you that felt it too."
"It wasn't in your mind," she said. "I did feel something for you."
"Did?" he asked.
"I mean I do feel something for you, Luke. You forced me to see something that I was afraid of seeing for so long. Truth is who knows how long I would have stayed with Nathan if not for you. You opened my eyes to so many things, for that I will be always grateful."
Grateful, Lucas thought. That definitely could not mean something good if she was just "grateful" to him. He didn't want her gratitude, he wanted her heart. Just when he finally allowed himself to believe that it was possible, here was another block in the road to gaining his hearts only desire, her reciprocated love.
"What does that mean Brooke? You're "grateful"? That's the last thing I want to hear from you," he said.
"Why Luke, it's the truth."
"Maybe, but I thought with the tiniest speck of hope that maybe you felt half of what I felt for you. That if I believed it enough you would tell me what I wanted to hear, that you wanted to be with me too," he said sadly.
"Luke," she sighed. "I care about you…a lot. If I'm honest with myself and with you, I can admit that I care about you way past friendship," she said. "I just don't think that I'm ready to jump right back into another relationship and that's nothing to do with you, it's me. I need time to find out who I am, without a guy."
"So it's not me, it's you?" he asked.
"Yes. I'm insecure Luke," she admitted slightly embarrassed. "I know I'm queen of Tree Hill, envied by all, but it's so phony. I put on that act because I'm afraid, afraid of being disliked, afraid of being unloved or alone. I have a tendency to find something that I think is safe, and when I do I hold on for dear life because of that fear. I need to depend on myself right now, find out who I am, what I want. It doesn't mean that I am shooting down the idea of us. I would hope that one day I can give you my heart completely, that is if I'm lucky and some great girl hasn't swept you up," she said to Luke who gave her a small smile. "Don't give up on me yet Luke, I just need time."
"I would never give up on you Brooke. My heart belongs to you," he admitted. "No one could take your place. You go out into the world, find out who you are, but please do it quickly. I'll wait for you…..for as long as it takes," he smiled holding both her hands in his much larger hands.
"Thank you for understanding that I need this," she said closing her eyes relaxing to Luke's gentle stroking against her cheekbone. "You don't know how much this means to me. We'll find our way Luke," she promised.
"I know we will pretty girl, I know we will," he said.
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