Dear Mr. Diary,

Jacob thinks I love him! He won't go away!

Emmett


"Jacob stop calling!" I screamed into the phone hanging up.

"Was that Jacob?" Edward shouted.

"Yeah!" I said, "He won't stop calling!"

"I can see that! That's the tenth time in the last three minutes!" Alice said, walking into the living room.

The phone rang.

Black.

I picked it up, "Jacob stop calling me!"

"But I love you!" He said.

"I don't care!"

"But, don't you feel the connection?"

"Nope." I said.

"Why don't you love me!"

"I'm not gay! And I have Rose." I said.

Rose looked at me, "Oh no you didn't!"

"Oh yes he did!" Alice said.

"What did I do wrong!?" Jacob said.

"Everything!" I said, "Now stop calling!" I hung up.

"Man!" Alice said.

"We have to get rid of him!" I said.

"Yeah but how?" Alice said.

"This is calling for extreme measures!" I said. I grabbed the extreme measure tape.

"Mhmm!" Rose said.

"Man! My waist is getting bigger!" I said dropping the measuring tape.

"Why did you measure yourself?" Rose asked.

"I said extreme measures duh!"

"Um..." Rose walked away.

"Now! For the extreme part!" I said.

"Ok! Oh nice plan!" Alice said, "But I don't think egging his house will work..."

---Ten mins and one egged house later.

Jacob came out, "Hey why did you egg my house!?" He shouted.

"Um!" I said.

"Oh! It's you!" His eyes lit up.

"No, no! Stay away!" I screamed as he ran toward me and jumped onto me.

"Let me go!" I said.

"No!" He wouldn't stop hugging me.

"I don't like you Jacob! Now stop hugging me!" I said.

"Fine!" He let go.

---One hour later at the house.

"Alice! Lets blow up his motorcycle!"

"Ditto!"

---Ten minute later

"Light the fuse!" I shouted.

Alice lit it. "Fire in the hole!" She yelled.

"TAKE COVER!" I shouted.

Then Jacob ran out, "No! My bike!" He ran to it... And it exploded.

"Um Alice, I think we killed Jacob..."

Sam came out. "YES!" He shouted, "FINALLY!"

"Dude is he dead?" Embry asked.

"Yep!" Sam said.

"Finally!" he said.

"Yes! He's gone!" Jared shouted.

"Um... Arn't you guys like... His bff's?" I asked.

"Psht. Were. He never shuts up anymore." Sam said.

"Yeah." Embry agreed.

"Ditto." Jared said.

"Oh... So you don't care that we blew him up on accident?" I asked.

"Nope."

"Ok so then Alice and I are just going to be... Leaving now..." I said.

"Yep! Bye!" They said waving.

---Three hours later.

"He's gone! Yes!" I said, dancing.

"You blew him up?" Bella asked, shocked.

"Yeah! But! He ran out to the bike when it blew up!"

"OMG! Murderer! I still loved him!" She cried, running from the room.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" I said.

"I still love you!"

Jacob's creepy 0.0 lol.