Sorry, sorry, sorry! I've just started my new job and the hours (3 'til 10pm plus an hour and a half travel each way) are terrible for writing, which I'm used to doing at night. Selfish bosses :/ haha, but I'm sure once I get used to it, I'll be able to finally finish this story off!
So anyway, enjoy :) x
Chapter 51
"Cutter, we've got to say something," Stephen argued as he and Nick strode down the corridors towards the ARC main room early the next morning. "We can't just do nothing - "
"No," Cutter answered shortly, pushing open the swinging door with unnecessary aggression.
"Why not?" Stephen demanded, his strides quickening to keep up with Cutter's stomps.
Cutter sighed inwardly, the dull aching in his heart becoming more pronounced when he remembered how Wilder's hand had caressed Jenny's back as he led her towards their table. He found himself wondering for about the tenth time that morning why she was doing this to herself. It was like she was on some sort of self-destruct mode. The man was an animal; he'd been several seconds away from shooting her in the head for god's sake! How could she even begin to trust him again?
"Because if I tell Lester, Jenny will think I've done it for some sort of cheap revenge," Cutter replied gruffly as they pushed through yet another door in unison.
"And if we don't tell him, she might end up in a body bag," Stephen retorted, sounding aspirated. "He's a dangerous man Cutter - "
"I'm perfectly aware of what he is Stephen, remember?" Cutter snapped.
"I just don't know what Jenny's playing at," Stephen continued, seeming oblivious to Cutter's reluctance to discuss the matter further. "Do you think she's working against us?"
"No," Cutter replied with absolute certainty. "She wouldn't do that. I know her."
"Obviously not as well as you thought."
"She wouldn't betray us like that," Cutter snapped again, not willing to believe it for a second. "She wouldn't. Just because she's in a relationship with the man, it doesn't mean she's working for Johnson."
"No, but it means that if we don't do something soon, she might be persuaded to help them whether she knows it or not," Stephen reasoned. "If you ask me, she already seems to be brainwashed - "
"Look, I'm not going to rat on her to the team, and that's the end of it!" Cutter barked, losing his already fragile temper. "Now just drop it - "
"Well either you tell them what Jenny's been up to, or I will," Stephen interjected sternly, his expression set and determined as he stormed ahead.
A repetitive and shrill beeping noise pulled Jenny out of the light, uneasy sleep she'd been in. It took her a few seconds to remember why she had a nervous feeling in her stomach, and when the memory came flooding back, her insides seemed to squirm. With a groan of annoyance, she rolled over and slammed the alarm clock hard, forcing it into silence.
"Go back to sleep," Wilder mumbled sleepily, her eyes still closed.
"I can't," Jenny sighed, turned back around and resting her forehead on his shoulder. "I've got to go to work."
"So call in sick?" he suggested sleepily, opening his arm to allow her to settle more comfortably on his chest.
"I can't," she repeated, allowing her eyes to close again. "I have to go in and face everyone."
"How bad do you think it'll be?" he asked, squeezing her shoulder to pull her closer into him.
"Well the phrase tarred and feathered comes to mind," she said, only half joking. "God, they're going to be so angry."
"So quit?" he said, so out of the blue that her eyes snapped open.
"What?"
"Quit," he repeated in a matter of fact voice. "You're better than that place anyway."
Jenny sat up abruptly, holding the sheet firmly against her chest. "I can't quit - "
"Sure you can," he said with a slight yawn, still refusing to open his eyes. "You could come and work with me."
"And why would I do that?" she questioned, feeling completely perplexed. "As I recall, you weren't exactly welcoming the last time."
He opened his eyes, and when they focused on her, they were as dark and unyielding as always. "Well that was then and this is now," he said, reaching his hand up and gliding it down her arm. "I think you'd be a valuable asset to us as it happens."
"Well I already have a job thank you," she said curtly as she stood up, pulling the sheet with her. "One that I'm going to lose if I don't get there soon."
On the drive to the ARC, Jenny kept repeating the same lines over and over in her head, so much so that it became like a mantra for the entire journey; 'It's not going to be as bad as you think . . . these people are your friends . . . they're not going to cut you out because of your taste in men . . .'
But as soon as she walked into the ARC main room, it suddenly became clear how very wrong she was. As she pushed open the door and stepped onto the overly-polished floor of the main room, several heads snapped around at once to look at her, and she was met a stone cold wall of silent hostility. As she walked slowly towards the huddled team, all of the air seemed to drain from the room. From the look on Stephen's face he was about to say something, but to Jenny's surprise, it was Abby who spoke first.
"You lying, betraying little bitch," she spat with so much venom in her voice that for a second, Jenny actually thought it was another girls voice speaking.
"Abby - " Jenny began, shocked by her reaction.
"Don't you dare try to deny it!" Abby interrupted hotly, looking at her with disgust. "They've told us everything! Talk about sleeping with the enemy - "
Connor was looking at her with such disappointment that she actually felt a pang of shame. As their gazes met, the boy abruptly averted his eyes as though he couldn't even stomach looking at her. Cutter had turned away from them all and focused his attention on the silent detector, his expression grim.
"Oh I bet you're loving this, aren't you?" Jenny started on him, feeling a flush creep up her neck. "I bet you couldn't wait to run back here and tell everyone - "
"Jenny?" Lester's cool voice interrupted her. She looked up to see him standing on the balcony, his posture stiff. "A word," he added before he turned and walked back into his office.
Feeling her apprehension mount, Jenny turned away from her colleagues and started up the ramp. She could feel their accusing eyes boring into her as she ascended, but she refused to look around and before long she was entering Lester's airy and yet surprisingly stifling office. He had already seated himself behind the desk and was studying her coolly with his fingertips pressed together as she stood in front of him.
"Sit down," he said in a monotone voice, gesturing to the seat opposite him.
"No, I'd prefer to stand," she answered, not liking the eerie calmness of his voice.
Lester sat back in his chair, surveying her up and down with his keen green eyes. "So is it true then?" he asked eventually.
"Is what true?" she said, although she knew exactly what he was talking about.
"That you've turned sides on us."
This threw Jenny for a moment. She had assumed that he was going to chastise her for her relationship with Wilder, but it hadn't occurred to her that he would accuse her of being a traitor. "No," she stammered eventually, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. "I'd – I'd never do that - "
"But you and Captain Wilder are in a physical relationship, yes?" he pressed in a cold, detached tone.
"Yes," she answered reluctantly, feeling more than a little uncomfortable with the conversation. "But I don't see how my love life is any of your business."
"You are a member of a secret sector of the government," he said, echoing the words he had used in France when she had demanded to know how he'd tracked her down. "Everything you do is my business. Especially when you're in a relationship with our enemy's right hand man."
"But he and I don't talk about work," she insisted hotly, feeling annoyed that she had to keep explaining herself over and over again. She was a grown woman for goodness sake, and she was more than capable of looking after herself. Surely she'd proved that often enough? "I know it's hard for you to comprehend," she continued coldly, "but some of us do have lives outside the ARC."
Lester's lips thinned, but other than that he made no indication that he had heard her jab. "He's an incredibly dangerous man - "
"He's my boyfriend," Jenny interrupted defiantly. "And you can't tell me who to go out with."
"Jenny," he said firmly. "You wouldn't be the first person in the world to fall for the wrong person. I do know a little of what you're going through."
Jenny narrowed her eyes, unable to see what he was getting at. "What are you talking about?"
"Christine never used to be as manipulative and vindictive as she is now," Lester answered slowly, as though he was judging how much to tell her. "There was a time when she was incredibly charming. And quite beautiful."
Jenny found it difficult to keep the surprise out of her tone. "What? You mean . . . you and she - ?"
"It was a long time ago," he interjected, looking rather uncomfortable himself. "When we were both young civil servants together. But believe me Jenny, people like she and Wilder only care about what they can get out of you. And when they've squeezed the last ounce of usefulness out of you, they'll dispose of you faster than you can click your fingers - "
Jenny shook her head. "He won't do that to me," she said confidently. "I know he won't."
"Jenny, you can't date a member of Christine Johnson's team and be a member of the ARC – it doesn't work like that!" he burst out, clearly losing the battle at keeping his agitation at bay. "You have to end it. I don't want you seeing him again."
"And if I do?"
Lester sighed deeply in frustration and ran his hand over his tired-looking face. When he finally straightened up, he had a resigned look on his face. "You're suspended for a week," he said in a quiet, sombre voice. "Effective immediately,"
Jenny felt like an ice bucket had just appeared in her stomach. "No, James - "
"You've given me no choice Jenny," he cut her off, sounding disappointed. "Use the time alone to think things over. It's time to decide where your loyalties lie."
"But - "
"That'll be all," he interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. "Off you go."
Jenny was in the locker room, seething so much that she was finding it difficult to keep her hands from shaking. She was grabbing her things from her locker and throwing them unceremoniously into her gym bag when she heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. She didn't need to look around to see who it was.
"I bet you think this is really funny, don't you?" she stated venomously as she shoved a spare pair of shoes into her already overflowing bag.
"What are you doing?" Cutter asked as he cautiously stepped up behind her.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" she snapped, still refusing to look round at him.
He seemed to hesitate for a second. "You're – you're not leaving are you?"
She straightened up and slammed the locker shut so aggressively that the whole row of lockers shook. "I've been suspended," she said coldly, meeting him in the eye for the first time. "Thanks to you," she added with a mocking bow of appreciation. "I'm starting to get the impression that you're on a one man mission to ruin my life - "
"Suspended?" he repeated, sounding completely dumbfounded.
"Yes," she said, looking him up and down. "Because you had to go running to Lester - "
"I was worried about you Jenny," he insisted forcefully. "That man is dangerous - "
"Oh for goodness sake!" she exploded, her temper reaching its breaking point. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I am capable of looking after myself!"
"He's brainwashed you," Cutter said with a shake of his head. "You're not yourself – you haven't been yourself since Mark died. You're angry, you're hurt and you're vulnerable. Don't you see? He's using that to alienate you from everyone who cares about you so that he'll have you right where he wants you. I know you're stronger than this - "
"He'd never hurt me," Jenny stated, her voice quivering with rage. "Never."
"Okay, let's say that's true, even though I highly doubt it," he said. "What about us? Your team? What about the damage he could do to us? Or don't you care about us anymore?"
Jenny turned away from him with the pretence of zipping up her bag, although the real reason was so that she could hide how she had tensed at his words. They had cut deep. "Of course I do," she replied quietly.
Silence fell between them for a long while as Jenny dragged out the task of closing her bag, wanting to postpone the moment that she'd have to look round at him again.
"You know how I feel about you Jenny," he said unexpectedly, causing her to freeze.
When she had recovered herself, she forced herself to spin round and look him directly in those piercing blue eyes. "Yes, I know exactly how you feel," she said in a brusque tone. "You couldn't get enough of me when I was engaged to Mark, and then when I was available you lost all interest - "
"You're the one who ran off to the South of France for two months!"
"I'm talking about when you pushed me away when I went to kiss you!" she argued back, although she felt herself grow hot at the admittance. "Do you know how humiliated that made me feel?"
"So you're just seeing Wilder to get back at me then?" he said, his voice edged in disbelief.
"Surprisingly Nick, not every life decision I make centres around you," she said cruelly as she shouldered her bag. "My point is that now I'm seeing someone else, you all of a sudden want me back. You don't want to be with me, but you don't want anyone else to be with me either - "
"I've always wanted to be with you," he said, his voice wavering with frustration.
"No you haven't!" she insisted angrily, the sound of him almost calling her Claudia still resonant in her mind. "You blow hot, and then you blow cold. Just face it Nick, the only time you want me is when you can't have me," she finished as she barged passed his shoulder.
She didn't turn round as he called her back; indeed she didn't stop until she reached her car. As she chucked her bag in the back seat, she couldn't seem to stop her eyes from falling on the ARC again, and somewhere in her brain, a thought flickered.
Would she ever see the place again?
