AN: You guys rock! Don't know how to thank you enough other than to update, but Thank you for sticking it out with the changes and for all of the encouraging words! It helped a lot! If I do hit a bind, I'm definitely coming to the few who offered to bounce ideas :)

I am going to give you a warning that I am relocating in a month across the country, working full time, and have friends and family wanting to spend time with me before I go, and so my time for writing is limited but I am trying.

Sorry if this is disappointing as a lot of you wanted it to go a certain way, but I need this to happen. Hope you like it anyways.

Previously: FitzSimmons are figuring out a way to get Skye and Ward back. Skye got sent to the alternate universe where she was sedated due to her panic attack. She wakes up in an unfamiliar room and isn't sure if she is back at the facility as the drug they gave her, upon Coulson's order, was yellow and Coulson's tie is back to being black. As she tried to find an escape route, she had to hide upon hearing the approaching voices of Coulson, May, and Simmons. Through their dialogue, we learn that Skye is supposed to still be sedated and that Director Coulson was heading over to greet the unfamiliar girl.


Chapter 55 Survivor

At first, Ward had been frustrated that no one was listening to him. That no one understood the direness of him getting back to his team.

The Coulson from this universe, to which he had quickly picked up was now referred to as Director Coulson, had admitted that he was unsure why Ward had come back after escaping from the transport. When Ward had responded with a confused look, trying to explain, the older man had cut him off before flat out telling him that he was sick of the manipulation. That they saw right past the fake persona he was playing.

This Coulson didn't know that those exact words had been the ones Grant would hear in his nightmares when he dreamt of his own team leader, who had given him a chance to right his wrongs, turning his back on Ward. When Agent Coulson would finally realize that he wasn't good enough. That he could never do enough to rectify his past and betrayal.

As the time passed, his attempts at explaining faded, knowing that he was much too late to help his team let alone to go down along their side. On the inside, he felt like he had crawled down a dark hole where turmoil surrounded him in waves as he fought to keep the grief of his loss from making it to the surface, not wanting to show anyone just how broken he was. On the outside, he had his T100 mask on…

Just that thought brought on a deep longing and ache in his chest as his mind tortured him with her memories, recalling the glint in her eyes when she would tease him. And with that, the flood gates opened as his mind was no longer able to push aside the memories that he tried so hard to compartmentalize; to lock away in a box.

Had it only been just over two days since he had held her?

Three days since he had woken up in her bunk in the middle of the night to find her staring at the ceiling, a slight tremble in her voice as she had asked him to remind her once again of the plans after the mission, her words silently begging him to ground her?

Two days since he had promised her ice cream for breakfast?

Two days since he had promised her that he would hold her for as long as she would let him…

Ward couldn't go there.

But it was too late as the crushing weight once again returned to his chest, feeling as if his entire being was weighed down with grief.

His breathing became forced as he gasped while his body refused to listen, his throat not allowing the air to travel to his lungs. Ward immediately threw the back of his head against the wall that he sat leaning on, trying to dislodge the thoughts.

It did nothing to deter the emotional wreckage. She was gone.

He reached his hand to his ribs and, without hesitation, pressed on one that he knew to be broken. As soon as his mind registered the prickle of pain, he held on to it, welcoming it as a comforting friend.

Physical pain he knew how to handle.

Ward supposed he should be thankful for the few guards that had snuck into his little cage, telling him just what they thought of the Hydra traitor.

He had known that they weren't supposed to be there. That Director Coulson hadn't been the one to order the pointless beating. His thoughts were confirmed when their verbal disdain was shown for the Director's decision to keep the 'psychopath traitor' around on base as they had waited for the camera light indicator to switch off before approaching him.

The specialist hadn't fought them. In fact, he had welcomed every hit, wishing that it had been harder. Had welcomed every kick, allowing his organs to be exposed. Not once did he attempt to defend himself. Not against their physical attacks nor their verbal ones that told him that he was nothing without Garrett.

His last conscious thought before the darkness took over his vision was that Garrett would have agreed.

Ward had woken up sometime later and painfully crawled to the wall where he currently sat, trying so hard to keep his mind blank because every thought led to thoughts of them.

Of his team.

The team that he had failed.

Garrett had always told him that he was a survivor, the pride in his grin and tone had made Grant crave those words. Crave the few compliments that he had ever received, like a starving puppy, begging for scraps after being kicked so many times. The specialist had even found himself taking risks, just to prove his loyalty, to get another measly compliment from the man he had seen as a father figure. When his SO left him in situations with no way out, even when he walked back barely alive, John would use that statement. He would clap him on the shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before smiling and telling him that he was a survivor.

He now hated those words.

Coulson had said it once and Grant's whole body had stiffened as he had felt the disgust at them coming from the man that he now respected. The leader had noticed and quickly retracted his statement, changing his words to be an actual straightforward compliment rather than the manipulation that Ward saw them for.

Because once he had finally begun to analyze his relationship with Garrett, he had seen the manipulation behind everything that his previous SO did. It was only then that he realized that being a survivor meant that you were a self-centered nobody who wasn't able to make any significant attachments to anyone.

It also meant that you were expendable because no one would care that you were gone.

But now. Now he didn't want to be a survivor. He had met these people that created a ragtag group and for once in his life, he had allowed himself to get attached. Allowed them to invade his space, even welcoming it and at times craving the company.

Oh how he wished he had gone down with them. But he didn't deserve it. A hydra traitor deserved to die alone. Ward knew that he had turned his own SO in, in time to stop the major planned events by Hydra, but he couldn't forgive himself for how far along he had gone with his role as a sleeper agent. Couldn't forget that Skye had been shot because of his actions.

The specialist had quickly seen the differences between this world and his own, one the most obvious being his other traitor self who was hated here. But it didn't matter and he couldn't bring himself to care.

Couldn't bring himself to stop his mind from hearing Garrett's voice as he whispered how he had allowed himself to be weak…that he was a survivor.

And then the door had opened and a shadowy figure had stood there, the lights dimmed to a point where he was unable to make out the person that remained by the door.

But it didn't matter who they sent. The Director had told him that Skye would no longer be visiting him and he had almost sighed in relief. He didn't care to see this Skye. He didn't need a reminder of his rookie.

Even if he didn't care, Ward's gaze focused on the shadow, welcoming the distraction from his own self-loathing. But they just stood there. Doing nothing.

Minutes passed and he continued staring.

His breath caught in his throat upon seeing the sudden intrusion of the red light that looked ever so familiar. For a fleeting beat, Ward wondered if his mind had finally cracked, but then she turned just a little, the sound of her boot scraping against the floor, and he wanted to cry in relief when his eyes caught the smallest details.

No bangs, a glowing pendant….

He needed to get closer. Grant immediately pushed himself from the wall, ignoring the pain as he began to limp toward the barrier, not remembering when he had sprained his ankle.

"Skye?" Ward was surprised that his voice didn't crack as he called out to the girl, all his hopes and desperation in that one little word.

The specialist's heart practically broke when she finally turned towards him, her body language speaking volumes of the stress and anxiety that she was under. He watched her hesitantly turn her gaze back to the door, as if contemplating just running. Grant held his breath, knowing that if she left, there was nothing he could do about it.

His mind shouted at his mouth to open, to comfort her, to not let her go.

No words came out. Shock that she was possibly standing before him, still alive fought the doubt that it was a trick of his brain, desperate for his rookie.

But she didn't need any words as she finally turned her gaze back to him.

The specialist immediately tapped his nose, not wanting to give her a chance to look away.

Skye looked surprised but her slow movement down the stairs told him that she didn't fully believe he was who he was claiming to be.

With every small, hesitant step she took, the sound echoing off of the otherwise silent walls, he allowed himself to believe more and more that it was truly her; his mind not caring to explore how she had gotten here.

As he watched her make her way down, the older agent wrestled with his emotions as they fought to make their way to the surface, to take over. He felt them all at once.

Relief at her being in front of him. Relief at her being alive.

Longing at wanting to hold her.

Fear at what she had faced here, what she was thinking with seeing a version of her team that didn't know and didn't understand the things that the analyst had been through and how to treat the broken girl that was trying so hard to mend herself.

Sorrow when he observed the tear tracks and the tremble.

Aching as she made it closer and he saw the fear in her eyes directed towards him when her gaze did finally glance up to meet his while she kept a physical distance between them.

"Hey Rooks," he gently let the words slip. They almost sounded like a sob in his own ears. He took a step closer before the grid field lit up, reminding him of his boundaries.

But she didn't respond, her shaky breath sounds being her only reply. She just stood, staring at his feet, her eyes unfocused.

She wasn't completely present. Wasn't completely there.

He needed to pull her back, if only to reassure her that she wasn't reliving her nightmares. Ward couldn't stand the idea of her being in that kind of distress, especially not after what Laredo had put her through. He couldn't let her think that she was being tricked, that she had no hope of escaping the hell that was known as the facility. The team upstairs wouldn't know how to care for his rookie. After all, she had been with him for over three months now and he was still figuring out her triggers. How could they know?

There was one thing he was sure of; he needed to keep her safe physically and mentally. He needed this physical barrier known as distance gone between them, knowing that his chances of pulling her back were much higher if he was able to hold her.

"Skye, there is a button on that tablet," he stated slowly, keeping his eyes focused on her downcast ones. He thought she had completely shut down until he saw her gaze move slowly to the tablet before returning to his.

Grant didn't understand. On the stairs, she had been scared but alert, almost aware in her surroundings. She then had started walking towards him. The closer that she got…

And then it hit him.

She was scared of him. Scared that he could be the other Ward from the facility.

But his mind quickly noted that she was also desperate. If he had to guess, he would say she longed for some familiarity just like he had over the last two days.

He tried not to think of what was going through her mind, how desperate she might be for a small piece of comfort that she would willingly go to him without fully knowing if he was hers.

It scared Grant that he was losing her as she stood there, arms wrapped around herself, looking so small. "Do you want me to hold you?" he gently asked, attempting to pull her back…knowing that mentally she was fighting off the memories that haunted her anytime she ran across a reminder of her time in captivity.

That question did it. It confronted her two states that fought to control her actions. He watched her shift her weight, unsure of which route to choose as her gaze hesitantly met his, if only for a brief second.

One state told her to run away from him, to go back up the stairs. But then where would she go? To the man who had ordered the drugs that she could still feel crawling through her blood stream? Was that really an option…Skye thought about possibly avoiding them, but it had been a maze up there, the rooms having people she had never seen before. Possible guards?

The analyst shuddered. Guards were sometimes just as bad.

The other state wanted to give him a chance to be her Ward, simply because she ached for some form of home, of familiarity. It reminded her of her days when she thought that she was rescued but it was only a ruse. The times that she would long for her old team to be real that she would dismiss the contradicting signs that were obvious as they verbally abused her.

She wanted home, the inner her cried. And he was the closest thing to it.

She hesitantly reached to the control, her hand shaking. Skye had seen the markings on the ground, had seen the field when he had stepped too close. She ignored the small voice that told her she was being stupid, that she didn't know if it was him and was about to let him out.

Taking a deep breath, she released the field, her mind pathetically arguing back that if it was the wrong Ward, at least he was never as bad as Coulson.

That thought did little in comforting her as she waited for the man standing before her to make his move.

Ward took a slow step forward. His mind screamed for him to let her lead but his body ached to hold her, to prove to himself that against all odds, she had survived and was standing right in front of him.

"Skye, can you look at me please?" it came out as a cry, his voice on the verge of cracking. He wanted to close the distance, to show her that he wasn't the chubby Ward, to show her that he was her Grant, but she wasn't ready.

Only when she finally allowed her gaze to travel upwards did he ask her, "Can I hold you?"

Skye wanted to cry at the words that spoke safety. She allowed the tears to slide once again before she made her way into his open arms. "Please be real," she begged against his chest as a sob escaped. "No more," she stated as she shook her head. "Please, just be real," Skye whispered.

Ward didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around the shaking girl, burying his face in her hair as he whispered consoling words in her ear, unsure how much of it was going through in her panicked state. He began telling her about the things that they had done, reminding her of things that she had held significant in the last three months. Trying his best to show her that the time spent with them had been real.

Their time was cut much to short as the door opened once again, lacking the caution in which Skye had used when she had entered his cell.

Ward's eyes immediately focused on the Director who didn't look happy before ordering him to let her go as he stepped down the stairs.

The specialist immediately released Skye before guiding her behind him.

"Coulson, please don't do this. We're not from here. We are not your Ward and Skye," Grant tried to explain.

The older man seemed to be thinking it over before shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter. How do I know that she's not in that state because of something that you did? Till we figure it out, I can't risk it."

Ward felt his heart drop. He knew that he couldn't get her away from these people, not in the state that they had left him, beaten and deprived of sleep. He had to try and make them understand. "Please Coulson, I won't hurt her. I would never hurt her. Please, just let her stay," Grant begged, not caring how pathetic or desperate he sounded when he felt the tremor in the girl standing behind him, her forehead resting against his bare back.

But the Coulson from this universe had a much harder stare to him as he silently stood before him, his emotions hidden once the decision had been made.

Ward's eyes darted to the six new reinforcements as he reflexively pushed the analyst further behind him, one hand held up in front of him, attempting to desperately show them that he was no threat while his other arm remained with the young hacker who was now clutching to it.

His pleading eyes went back to Coulson. "Please, don't do this. She won't understand." Ward knew Skye's mind was too much in a panicked mode to accept this as merely another reality and not a drug induced illusion that placed her back at the facility where there were no duck ties or gentle touches.

He had known the second that she had begged him to be real, not even bothering to ask if he was in fact real.

She didn't want the facts. She wanted comfort.

When the guards continued to move forward, the specialist quickly turned towards his rookie, whose eyes only spoke of despair.

Holding her face in his hands, "this is real," he quickly tried to explain. "Skye, they won't hurt you! We're just in another reality," he desperately tried to reassure her, but the trembling in her entire body at the approaching figures and the shaky breaths told him that she was much too far gone for a few measly words to bring her back right after they were going to rip her away from him.

"Skye, please," he begged for her to hear him out before he felt the rough hands pull him away and pin his back to the wall as someone else grabbed his rookie who immediately began to fight back, but didn't stand a chance with her panic driven mind.

He watched as another guard went to help with the girl that barely weighed 110 pounds. Grant wanted to kill them for touching her, for bruising her arms in their tight hasty grip. He felt himself pull against his own captors before he was met with a punch to his abdomen, his already cracked ribs not handling the increased pressure.

No matter how many times he pulled or fought, his two-day sleep deprived and beaten body wasn't strong enough to overcome the trained men.

"They're not going to hurt you," he tried to reassure his rookie as they dragged her away with Coulson trying to calm the girl down.

Once the door closed behind his Skye, the remaining guards dropped the specialist who fell to his knees before throwing in a few more-well placed hits.

He took them all in silence, his reflexes much to slow. They finally left him in a heap on the floor, their words of traitor and his worthlessness echoing long after they were gone. He pulled himself to the wall before drawing his knees towards his chest as he began running his fingers through his hair, tugging painfully at the thought that she was up there with a Coulson that was wearing only a black tie.

That she was up there, scared and he was pathetically beaten, sitting in a corner like a useless dog.

He wanted to so badly slam his head against the wall, the frustration consuming him, but he knew that he couldn't.

He had to keep some wits about him if he ever thought that he would have a chance at helping her.

His thoughts spiraled back to her.

Ward felt his own panic begin to kick in as he remembered his empty promises that he would keep her safe.

Empty promises that she had so easily believed.

She deserved so much better, but the universe had it out for her and had given her him instead.

Like everything else that she'd been through hadn't been enough.


AN: Sorry! It was supposed to end on a happier note (especially after that winter season finale that just depressed me), but the ending wasn't coming out right so I chopped it off. Good news, 1700 words of the next chapter are done.

I hope you guys weren't too disappointed with Skye not meeting Show Ward. I honestly don't think she could handle that without completely cracking. This chapter seems off to me in characterization, but I got tired of looking it over.

Also, please realize that Ward has been on one hell of an emotional roller coaster thinking he has lost them all, had the crap beaten out of him, is lacking sleep, and has had no one to ground him. I'm beginning to understand why the show one tried to commit suicide.

Please review and let me know your thoughts! Hope you enjoyed it!