I have so many things to say... Firstly, this chapter might feel redundant but it's the final step to the creation of Fukurodani's team as we know it later in the canon. Secondly, I was so exhausted while re-reading it than I'm pretty sure there are still mistakes and I'm not sure I was able to speak a proper english - I'm jus THAT tired... So I apologize for mistakes that might occurr more often than usual in this particular chapter... Thirdly...
THIS CHAPTER IS POSTED TONIGHT BECAUSE THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE THIRD SEASON AIRED AND I'VE WATCEHD IT AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND EXCITED AND I AM SO PROUD OF MY BABY CROWS AND ALSO THE ENDING DESTROYED ME COMPLETELY AND KEABIHBGRAGJLRGNRLAKRA
*cough cough*
Thank you to all who followed and favorited.
Lili : Wakatoshi is such... such a nice guy... Like, I was meh about him until I've read the scans but then, he's become one of my favorite - not the top five, or the top ten, but he's not in the meh category and I've adopted him as one of my sons (I must have like 70 sons just from Haikyuu...) Ayaka will try her best to stick to her resolve. But for now, the focus is on the Spring High and team bonding!
pinkdoughnuts : The ship has not sunk yet! it did hit a few icebergs... but it's still floating! :D
PaintCat : Ushujima... I can't wait to see the flashbacks about him in the 3rd season. I'll cry. I know I will. You've seen that the reason why Ayaka cut her hair is very personal - in order to change for the best. ^^
SoulXHunter : HAPPY BIRTHDAY A LITTLE LATE! :D How old are you? You had fun? :D In THEORY Waka-kun is a good husband material and a bette roption for Ayaka - but in the long-run, I don't think they'd work. Or rather, Ayaka would not be able to bear being with him all the time and for the rest of her life, she'd feel suffocated. She needs someone wilder and more... open, y'know? Waka-kun is good for now, but only for the moment and it won't last. From now on, Koutarou will DEFINITELY think of Ayaka's happiness as his top priority. BUT, he will also consider the fact that he doesn't beleive she could be happy with anyone else with him which will helpt out a lot - thankfully, he's a pretty stubborn boy.
CocoaFirefly : It's true that miscomunication is what caused pretty much everything that hurts Ayakou now. But consider that even if they were together, things would not be the same - their love might not be quite as strong without going through all these hardships. I am so glad that the quote, this fanfic, are not only relatable to you but made you feel better as well - it's the one thing I'm aiming for as a writer so your review touched me right into the heart. So thank you! :D
curlystruggle : You're not wrong at all - Ayaka would be better off with someone else, Bokuto has been a fool... But True Love is what matters and it stays there no matter what, even over the years. So... they won't be able to forget one another, or live without one another and they will realize it soon enough.
sobasicallyme : I'm glad you liked last chapter! AyaWaka is so sweet but there's still a sparkle missing and that's what makes their relationship kinda sad because evven if they know it won't work out, they're still trying... Right now, the one who needs the more help is Bokuto, tho. ;)
Vamp-Girl27 : Cruel? Trying to give Ayaka some slack and happiness? Uh... and here I thought I had been too soft on the girl for the first part of the fanfic.
Hana : What is it with people and giving reviews which are literally themes of the following chapters? Husband and wife? Damn it. How did you guess? (this is not a joke, it's an actual thing that's in chapter 53) OF COURSE I'LL FIND A WAY FOR AYAAKOU TO BE TOGETHER THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS AFTER ALL THIS HEARTACHE AND YET THE WORSE IS COMING! :D
santosedanicaa : I'm so happy it gave you a good mood! ^^
Katia : Ahah, I think everyone is starting to ship AyaWaka despite themselves. Sorry? Didn't mean to? ^^" Actually Fukui nd Ushijima had the complete opposite effect of what I wanted - I wanted people to like Fukui and dislike Ushijima but it ended up being the other way around. (I think that dislike is too soft for Fukui though...)
Lomisstra : LA SAISON 3 EST DEJA MERVEILLEUSE J'AI DEJA PLEURÉ! Et ne ten fais pas pour Quiet Voice, on apprendra sur Kiku plus bientôt (pas sûre que ce soit très français ce queje viens d'écrire mais je ne sais pllus parler aucune langue ce soir)
FANFICTION
HAIKYUU! : SOWLMATES
CHAPTER LI : Trust
"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."
― Ernest Hemingway
"Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble."
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
"The Spring High will basically have an organization similar to the InterHigh. The teams will be organized in groups draws and the two best will continue forward into the competition. Like every year, it will happen in Tokyo's gymnasiums. I know you have a lot of pressure but if you practice as usual, if you focus and have fun, everything should be all right for the competition. You can do it." Yamiji said with a smile and a nod to his team.
"Oooosss!"
"All right, warm-up, warm-up!" Bokuto exclaimed then, clapping in his hand to get his team to move.
"Bokuto-kun," Yamiji called while the rest of the team started warming-up, following Akaashi's lead.
The Captain went back towards the coach as he spoke up again, arms crossed over his chest:
"I have received a call from someone you have met during the Kanemoto Gala." He said with a serious voice.
Eyes widening, Bokuto let his mouth fall open while the coach continued:
"Abe Osamu called me and said he wanted our team to have a practice match with his team."
"B-but that means…" Bokuto murmured in astonishment.
"The national team, yes. Among all high-school teams, only a very few practice against University level teams – and even less against Japan's national volleyball team. I think that among all the selected for the Spring High, only Shiratorizawa Academy has had this chance and it's fairly recent."
Bokuto didn't have to wonder why Shiratorizawa out of every teams of Japan – the explanation had three little words: Ushiwaka, Ayaka, engagement.
"The only problem," Yamiji continued, "Is that the only time for Abe Osamu's team to have a practice match against Fukurodani is tomorrow – but tomorrow is a day off and I don't want any of you to strain too much a few days before the Spr–"
"Let's do it!" Bokuto exclaimed enthusiastically, "I know we're close to the Spring High and we should rest… but this is such an incredible opportunity! For all of us! The team couldn't be more grateful to Abe-san to acknowledge us enough to let us have a practice match against the National team!"
He paused to breathe before continuing, a little more calmly but a serious determination shining in his eyes:
"It will be the best practice for the Spring High!" The Captain exclaimed with a determined nod.
Yamiji stared at him before smiling lightly, looking slightly proud.
"Then, I'll call him back to tell him you agreed. I'll let you tell the team – the practice match is tomorrow afternoon, we're leaving at one pm with the school's bus to get to the gymnasium where Abe Osamu's team works. You're exempted from classes all afternoon."
"Oosss!"
"Ah, and… I'm glad to see you're doing all right, Bokuto-kun," Yamiji continued with an encouraging tap on the young man's shoulder, "I was a little scared for you since what had happened at the end of the Gala. I thought you wouldn't be able to be back on your feet for the Spring High but you seem to be doing all right."
He tapped once again Bokuto's shoulder then left to make the necessary calls.
Koutarou glanced at Ayaka from afar, suddenly reminded of everything that had happened in so little time. Weeks had gone by but the last time he had seen the girl, it had been at the Gala after their dance and the harsh realization that well… he might be too late now… Back when her hair was still falling like a dark curtain in her back. Back when he still felt his heart without it being painful…
"Everyone, gather round!" He exclaimed, trying to smother his hurt when he noticed Akaashi looking this way, probably wondering why their coach had left them.
The team approached him as he spoke up to announce the great news:
"It's very sudden but tomorrow we'll have a practice match," he started, everyone reacting instantly.
"Now? We're only a few days from the Spring High!"
"What school will we play against?"
"It won't be a school – and it will be a great practice for the Spring High because we'll have a practice match against Abe Osamu's National volleyball team."
At first, the regulars didn't believe him; then, they realized Bokuro was being serious and they all started talking in the same time – or rather, some screamed incoherent sentences or noises while others were just screaming.
"Abe Osamu?! THE Abeabamu?!"
"National team? What National team?"
"OUR National team?!"
"WAAAAH!"
"I can't believe it!"
"Calm down, everyone," Akaashi intervened with a voice loud enough to be heard.
He and Bokuto waited a few seconds that everyone stopped screaming then Bokuto spoke up, aware of everyone's eyes looking at him intensely:
"Abe Osamu is the one who asked for it and Coach Yamiji wasn't sure if we would want of that practice match a few days before the Spring High. I accepted because it's a one in a lifetime chance. Tomorrow, we're going to win against our heroes and then, we'll win the Spring High!" He exclaimed with his hands on his hips.
"OOOSSS!" They all shouted.
"I still need to warm-up, Akaashi, I'll let you handle the practice for the moment – serve and spike practice with receive and block for half an hour then I want two teams for a practice match. I'll take the Team B and Akaashi the A – I want three regulars on each team to have everyone practicing effectively."
"Ooosss!"
Akaashi nodded to Bokuto then had the team gathered around him to execute his Captain's orders while Bokuto was warming-up in another part of the gymnasium. He missed the spike and serve practice and switched in at the beginning of the match. He was with Washio, Saru and some third and second years while Akaashi had Konoha and Komi from the regulars.
At the end of the practice match, they stretched and cooled down, excited about the practice match of tomorrow. Some of the players they'd play against were the players they had seen for years on tv – some had been in high-school's competition around the time Fukurodani's players had started playing volleyball. They were the reason why the high-schoolers were now playing volleyball. They were their heroes.
Bokuto was reading a few documents with Akaashi was finishing to put away some others that were already done. The Captain glanced up, seeing some of the regulars still practicing a bit. The atmosphere was calm and relaxed despite such an exciting practice match tomorrow and the Spring High soon. It was soothing…
"Where is Ayaka?" Bokuto asked when he realized that something, or rather, someone, was missing.
"She's gone already," Konoha answered from the other side of the court.
She didn't say goodbye? Bokuto thought to himself, wondering whether or not she had anything to do with this practice match against Abe's team.
When the Ace lowered slightly his head, lost in thoughts and looking a little sad, the few regulars who were still here glanced at each other a little worriedly.
"Bokuto, did you talk to Fukui and Kanemoto?" Komi asked as the third-years that had remained behind came closer.
"Ayaka… not really… And Fukui…"
He hesitated and everyone sighed with tired smiles.
"You ran away again, uh?" Komi concluded with a shake of his head.
"She's not here. She's sick…" Bokuto answered, trying to hide his annoyance that his friends would underestimate him so much.
"Oh… Then what will you do?" Komi asked, feeling a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions.
"I guess… when she's back, I'll tell her how I really feel. Then I'll tell my Sowlmate via a letter. And then…"
Koutarou's voice trailed off and they all knew who he was thinking about right now. He lowered his head then without another word added, he finished writing on his papers. He was soon done and he put everything down on a bench before advancing towards the closest cart of volley balls. He took one and hit it, making it rebound against the floor before catching it again in his hands, ready to serve.
The others glanced at each other a little worriedly, not knowing how to interpret their Captain's unusual silence. They knew how to deal with him when he was moody, whenever he screamed something but silence… it was not something they were used to with Bokuto Koutarou.
After a few jump serves where Bokuto hit the ball with strength and speed, it somehow didn't feel right when he didn't say anything whether the ball was in or out. His face was dripping in sweat but his lips and eyes barely showed any emotion.
"Bokuto-san," Akaashi finally intervened, making the Captain turn towards him, "We should call it a call for tonight. Tomorrow there is a big and straining practice match coming and–"
"You go ahead, I haven't had any serve practice today. I'll close the gymnasium soon." He answered.
Akaashi opened his lips but before he could say a word, Bokuto had already thrown the ball upwards and jumped to serve. It landed in the net but once again, the Captain barely reacted at all.
"But, Bokuto-san…"
"Akaashi. Just go." Bokuto said, turning around to grab another ball.
Konoha and Komi glanced worriedly at Akaashi whose expression was hesitant. Then, he sighed and nodded reluctantly.
"When you'll remember that we're teammates, tell us, Bokuto-san." He said, a little colder than intended.
"Oi, Akaashi…" Konoha murmured, following the setter.
Komi glanced between a stiff Bokuto and his two other friends then decided to follow them. The three left the gymnasium, leaving a shaken Koutarou alone.
His expressionless face turned into a suddenly sad-stricken expression and his hands trembled around the ball he was holding. He threw it on the floor at a sudden outburst of anger against himself then lowered on the floor, covering his face with his hands.
"Fuuck…" He whispered against his hands.
The next day, Tokyo's gymnasium…
Fukurodani Academy's volleyball team entered, looking a little shy, the gymnasium where the national team was already practicing.
"Nice kill!"
They all turned their attention towards the current Japanese Ace and Captain's team, Shimizu Kunihiro, as he did his run-up for a spike set by the setter, Fukatsu Hideomi. It was a perfect toss and the spiker hit it so easily it sent shivers down the high-schoolers' spines – even more so when the ball landed on the other side of the court with an astonishing sound.
"Waaah…" Konoha whispered in awe.
The others nodded in agreement, eyes wide. Akaashi was very closely observing the setter's moves, suddenly feeling like he was the clumsiest and worst setter ever. Only Bokuto was watching without a word, without a move. But his golden eyes were capturing even the tiniest of detail from the spiker's form and moves.
"Ah, you've come! Welcome here, Fukurodani!"
They all startled and turned towards Abe Osamu who was walking towards them calmly with a nice smile. The team that was practicing seemed to realize that their opponents had arrived and turned towards them with easy smiles, whispering to each other while observing the high-schoolers from afar.
"Thank you again for this practice match, we are extremely thankful to you and your team for giving us this opportunity, Abe-san." Coach Yamiji said, bowing.
"No need to be so thankful! It'll be interesting to see how your team will work against much stronger opponents! I really wanted to have a practice match against Fukurodani and even if it was at the last moment, I thought that it'd be a good practice before the Spring High." Abe answered, shaking Yamiji's hand before turning towards a slightly awed Bokuto, "How you're doing boy?" He asked.
Startled, Bokuto quickly bowed, followed by his team that was remaining two steps behind their Captain to hide – Ayaka couldn't help but sigh when she noticed it. Every time they had to show off they would just shy away behind Bokuto….
"T-thank you for this opportunity, Abe-san! We are all so grateful to be practicing against your team!"
Abe tilted his head on a side but decided to shrug it off. He must have imagined it.
"If you've had lunch already, you are free to warm-up as soon as you're changed. When you're all good, we'll start the practice match." Abe told the younger ones.
"Yes, sir!" They all exclaimed.
"You are not usually so polite with me…" Yamiji sighed, making the two managers at his sides chuckle.
Half of the gymnasium was taken by the high-schoolers who started warming-up following Bokuto's lead. His voice was loud and clear but for the ones who knew him, they could feel the tension behind his voice. He didn't show it explicitly, but he was still in the same state as during the holidays and the last two days – emotionally unstable. His teammates all knew that their Ace didn't mean to flinch or fail in any way, but they also knew that he was fragile whenever it came down to his feelings. He was still shaken up by Ayaka and Wakatoshi, he was still feeling terribly anxious because he hasn't had yet the occasion to tell Fukui that he didn't want of her. The stress of the Spring High was building up as well, for him more than any other – he was the Ace and new Captain of Fukurodani after all. Seeing Abe Osamu – Ayaka's godfather and a man Bokuto had spoken with during the Gala – only reminded him of everything that had happened since that night. Plus, they would soon have a practice match against most of the National team of Japan – the very people they looked up to.
He had a lot to deal with and even if he tried to handle it, they feared he wouldn't be able to. Not for much longer at least.
"Spiking practice!" Bokuto announced as they all lined up for spiking the tosses given by their setters.
"Ooooss!"
From the sidelines, Ayaka was done taking notes and was simply observing the Ace. It had not been obvious the last two days at practice but now that they were outside of the Academy, about to go for a practice match, she realized that he seemed off.
"Is everything all right with Bokuto-san?" She asked Yukie who glanced up from her papers at the Ace.
She stared at him spiking for a while before shrugging.
"He seems all right to me. Perhaps anxious because of the practice match against Abe-san's team?"
"That… must be it, yes…" Ayaka answered hesitantly.
Once Fukurodani's team was warmed-up, they lined up in front of Abe's team. The adults were smiling smug and confident while the high-schoolers were so nervous they couldn't meet anyone's eye.
"We're looking forward to this match!" They all shouted, bowing down before going to each side of the court in positions.
Several players on Fukurodani glanced at their Captain when he didn't give a pep talk – and they really needed it right now… but he didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable it made them feel. Akaashi glanced at the Ace and frowned lightly.
"Bokuto-san, will you be all right today?" He asked.
"Yeah, Akaashi, don't worry. Let's make the most of this match!" He answered without meeting the setter's eyes.
Right now, Bokuto looked awfully serious but Akaashi couldn't tell if he was focusing on the match or if he was feeling stressed. Probably both.
"Y-yeah, you're right…" Konoha said a little less enthusiast.
"Komi, stop fretting around so much, you'll do great!" Bokuto exclaimed absentmindedly.
"AH! Yes!"
"The practice match will now begin!" The referee exclaimed, whistling.
Fukurodani's volleyball team went in position to receive the opposite team's serve. The Captain jumped high and served, the ball flying to the other side of the court at an incredible speed. Komi received it, falling backwards at the power of the serve.
"AGH!" He screamed.
"Nice receive!"
Akaashi ran under the ball that was a little off and glanced around.
"Bokuto-san!" He called.
The Ace stared at the ball as it was tossed for him. He ran up then jumped, spiking it. But the sound of the ball hitting the block shook him and he stared with wide eyes at the single blocker in front of him that had killed his spike so easily.
He landed, eyes wide, while the others stared at the scene in slight astonishment.
"Bokuto was stopped…"
"By a single blocker?" They whispered and hesitated.
"Calm down, they're adults, they have more power and experience than us! It's only normal it'd happen!" Akaashi exclaimed, "Bokuto-san, don't mind it!" He added quickly.
But the Captain wasn't responsive at all, still staring at the net in disbelief. Even in Datekougyou, they couldn't stop him with one single blocker. True, he hadn't put much strength into the spike but to have his spike killed so easily by a single–
"Bokuto-san!"
He jumped and turned towards Akaashi who was frowning at him.
"I said, don't mind it, Bokuto-san." He repeated.
"Ah… Y-yes! W-we'll get the next one!" Bokuto exclaimed, trying to smile confidently.
But it didn't boost anyone on the team. They were already stressed by the simple fact of playing against such powerful opponents. They were stressed because of the Spring High coming soon. They were even more stressed because their Ace and Captain was off and he had been for weeks now.
The playing continued and even if Fukurodani managed to get back on their feet after a few points and even caught up several times, the first set was still won by Japan's team 25 – 18.
"You're doing fine against such strong opponents. Keep playing as you usually do and don't mess up simple things – make sure to connect, make sure to receive correctly, all right?" Yamiji said, "You're doing all right so don't stress. Keep your head in the game."
"Oooosss!" They all exclaimed before starting to run back for the second set.
"Bokuto-kun!" Yamiji called before the Ace could go back on court, "Are you all right today? Your spikes are weak and off, you're not as enthusiastic as usual. What's happening?"
The Captain startled and opened and closed his mouth before looking away.
"I… I'm fine…" He answered hesitantly, "Just stressed because we're playing against… such powerful opponents…"
"That's not something that throws you off usually. Are you sure you're ok? You're not hurt?"
"No, I'm fine. I'll… handle things…" He said, turning around and hurrying on the court.
Akaashi threw Bokuto a confused look when he arrived without a word and Yamiji crossed his arms over his chest, looking worried and confused.
"What did coach say?" Akaashi asked.
"Just… to level up the power of my spikes… Toss to me for more straights than crosses – they're ineffective against their block."
"They're ineffective because you're half-assing your spikes," Akaashi answered with a hard voice.
Bokuto whipped his head towards his setter in shock but didn't answer, looking away guiltily almost immediately.
"I'm worried about Bokuto-san…" Ayaka murmured on the sidelines, clutching tightly her booknote.
"It's true that he seems disturbed by something, but I don't think it's the lack of results… He seems off ever since he came back from holiday…" Yukie agreed while the second set started.
Ayaka looked away worriedly, her hands clutching her booknote.
"He seems off ever since he came back from holiday."
Even weeks after, she could still feel it. The warmth and peace she had felt in his arms.
The Kanemoto Christmas Gala's fireworks were exploding in beautiful patterns in the night sky and Ayaka felt so happy to be watching them with Koutarou after their dance. She felt so warm and right by his sides. It was as if they were meant to be together right now and that no one else could possibly get in the way. Feeling a jacket on her shoulder, Ayaka held it close to her and smiled.
"Thank you, Kouta…"
Her voice trailed off when she looked up. Her smile hesitated uncomfortably when she noticed that the one staring down at her was Wakatoshi. He tilted his head on a side and she quickly looked away.
"T-thank you…" She said, not feeling quite as warm as she did a moment ago.
She glanced at her left but Koutarou wasn't here. For the first time in her life, she looked away from fireworks and glanced over her shoulder. She saw Koutarou walking away, head held down and disappearing in the crowd.
Ayaka ignored the hand on her shoulder and made a few steps to follow him, struggling against the crowd but by the time she reached the ball room, he was gone. She looked around but didn't see Koutarou. She was about to go ask Yaku who was standing awkwardly on a side with hands filled with half-eaten plates and glasses – way too many for one person and she had the suspicious it all belonged to her owls… but someone put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from taking another step. She looked up at her father.
"Where are you going? You usually love fireworks." He asked.
"I… um…"
She glanced around once again, praying to see Bokuto or anyone on her team but there was absolutely no one. Where had they gone?
"Have you seen Fukurodani? I… I'm worried for them…" She murmured hesitantly.
I'm worried for Koutarou. He didn't seem well. Did I do something wrong? Did he… not like the dance? Was there something wrong?She thought to herself, fumbling with her fingers.
"Why would you be? They're grown-ups, they can handle themselves." He answered with a shrug, "Come and enjoy the fireworks…"
Ayaka hesitated but then, Sasaki arrived running.
"Miss Ayaka, there is a problem with one of the guest who is drunk! He's too important for us to call the security – what should we do?" She asked frenetically.
Ayaka didn't want to deal with that. She didn't want to be a Kanemoto, she wanted to be Ayaka and back in Koutarou's arms.
"I… I don't know…" She whispered.
She glanced at where her father had been a moment ago but he was gone, he didn't know about the situation. Realizing that there was no one else but her right now, Ayaka suddenly felt like crying. She lowered her head and took off Wakatoshi's jacket from her shoulder.
"I'm coming…" She breathed, trying hard to ignore how her heart clenched and her eyes filled with tears at the memory of Koutarou walking away from her.
The sudden sound of the whistle brought back Ayaka from her memory and she looked up, seeing that the Japanese team had won another point after Bokuto had not managed to spike effectively. The Ace of Fukurodani was now breathing hard, eyes closed and hands on his knees.
"Don't mind, don't mind!" Konoha said.
"We'll just need to try new attacks and – Bokuto-san?" Akaashi hesitated when he saw that the Ace wasn't reacting, "Bokuto-san, are you all right?"
Koutarou clenched his fists against his knees. He felt as if his entire body was made of marshmallow, his legs were heavy and couldn't take him up. He had almost received the toss in the face because he hadn't jumped as high as usual. He was trembling even though he had no reason to. If he kept failing right now, it would ruin his team just before the Spring High. If he failed his team, it'd be in front of Abe Osamu – which meant that the Kanemoto, all of the sponsors of Japan would know that he was a failure, that he couldn't handle stress, that he couldn't be the Ace or Captain…
Make it stop… Make it stop… Make it stop, it hurts… He thought to himself, trying not to think of anything useless – but images of Ayaka and Wakatoshi flashed behind his eyes, as well as Fukui and everything he's been running away from for so long. Now, it was catching up to him and he felt like he was suffocating…
Make it stop…!
The whistle resonating startled him and when he glanced he realized that Coach Yamiji had just asked a time-out after a panicked sign from Akaashi.
The team gathered around their coach, the two managers giving them water bottles and towels. Bokuto joined them with his head down, feet dragging behind.
"Bokuto-san, what is it?" Akaashi asked, frowning.
"Bokuto, what's up with you, man?"
"You can't just stop like that in the middle of the court!"
"Are you hurt?!"
"Why aren't you telling us anything?"
"Tch, seriously…"
Koutarou's wide eyes stared at the ground, panic filling him when he heard the whispers and words from his teammates. He ignored the water bottle handed to him but he took with trembling fingers the towel. He wiped his face against the soft fabric. He wanted to wipe off the unshed tears and the ones that seemed to explode from his heart but it wouldn't work.
Towel on his head, he kept it low, eyes and expression hidden by the towel, a shaking hand keeping the fabric to hide him from everyone.
"Bokuto was stopped… By a single blocker?"
"They're ineffective because you're half-assing your spikes."
"When you'll remember that we're teammates, tell us, Bokuto-san."
It hurts! Make it stop!
"Oi, Bokuto…"
"Coach…" He started with a hoarse voice, the towel still above his head and hiding him from the world, "I… I think I need to sit this one out…" He breathed out with difficulty.
Everyone opened wide eyes, shocked to hear such words from their Ace and Captain. If one person never gave up it was him.
They saw their Captain clenching his jaw and shining, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. They were suddenly aware that they had no idea what to do… Usually, when they needed comfort or a boost of confidence, it was Bokuto who handled it. When everyone was desperate, he was the one to stand up for everyone. He was the Ace. But now…
"What… are you talking about…?" Akaashi started, his eyes wide and almost frightening.
Koutarou didn't react, only stiffened lightly while everyone glanced worriedly at their setter. Suddenly, Akaashi moved forward and grabbed Bokuto's shirt, shaking him.
"You don't have the right to give up on us!" Keiji shouted but he froze when the towel dropped on the floor.
"OI! Akaashi! Calm down!" Konoha exclaimed, pulling him away from their Captain.
Everyone glanced in panic at their Captain, tears rolling down his cheeks. It had been just for a short moment, but Akaashi had seen in his eyes everything that had been weighing on the Ace for so long: his Sowlmate, Fukui Sachiko, his feelings for Ayaka, her relationship with Wakatoshi, the pressure he had on his shoulders as Ace and Captain of a powerhouse of Tokyo with the Spring High coming soon…
The electricity that had been sparkling disappeared, leaving only a heavy silence, everyone glancing worriedly between their Ace and setter.
"Get out of here. Don't come back until you've cleared your head. We don't need an Ace and Captain who can't handle his emotions on court." Akaashi suddenly said, shrugging Konoha off of him.
Keiji turned away from Bokuto whose eyes had widened in shock to hear such harsh words from his friend – his best friend… but what hurt most was to know that… he was right…
"Bokuto-san…" Ayaka whispered, trying to take his arm.
But he didn't seem to hear her as he leaned down to grab his towel and went out of the court. She watched him leave, worry tearing her heart apart.
Before anyone could add anything, the whistle resonated and they had to go back on court. Fukurodani's players glanced at the absence of their Ace, then at the now guilty expression on Akaashi's face and went back on court with dragging feet. A second-year was brought into the court to replace the number four that was missing. Akaashi handled Captaining, Konoha handled Aceing… but it didn't feel right.
Fukurodani Academy's volleyball team managed to get some more points, coming back and giving an almost difficult time to the opposite team who had underestimated them. Still, Abe Osamu's team won 25 – 19.
"It was good match even if I can tell that none of you played to your best out of stress and because of your Captain's absence in the second set," Abe started, "I don't really get what happened but… don't be too harsh against your Captain just because he needed to be out for a little while."
Akaashi immediately glanced away guiltily – he hadn't had the intention of talking so harshly to Bokuto or tell him such words but… he was pissed off from the way Bokuto had closed himself off from everyone on the team. It wasn't supposed to be like that and the stress had taken the best out of Akaashi… If stress had just given him such a hard time and he had had such a reaction – what was it like for Bokuto who had to deal with heartbreak as well?
"You still managed to get many points and even if your play wasn't as effective as I would have wanted, you played well. Your power and tactics were quite impressive for high-schoolers. I want to see you play to your best level in the Spring High!" Abe continued with an encouraging smile.
"Thank you very much!" They all exclaimed, bowing down to the coach.
"Ah, by the way, where is Ayaka?" He asked, looking around.
The team, even Coach Yamiji and Yukie, glanced around, blinking when they didn't the young Kanemoto around.
"Ah, never mind that," Osamu quickly added when he couldn't help but notice that there were two people missing and that it wasn't a coincidence.
Ayaka had left when Fukurodani started going back up in the score. She had looked for Koutarou for a while but he wasn't in the restrooms or changing-room (thankfully, she didn't walk into anyone there or her explanations would have been terribly embarrassing). She found him sitting on a bench, back against the wall and towel over his head. His hands were limp between his legs and even if he was silent, she could tell he must have cried a lot…
She approached him hesitantly but he didn't react even when she sat next to him. Fumbling with her fingers, Ayaka remained silent a moment, not knowing how to start a conversation. She could tell that Koutarou didn't feel good at all and that it was more than just stress from playing against a powerful team or the Spring High coming soon.
Ever since seeing walking away from her at the Gala… Ayaka felt as if a rift had been opened between them. She wasn't sure who had created it: him, her? Both of them? Someone else? A little bit of everything? But what Ayaka could understand was that Koutarou, her best friend, her Ace, her Captain, the man she loved… wasn't feeling good at all. It probably involved her – them, or even the Sowlmate matter…
Unable to find any word, Ayaka moved a little closer, her hand reaching out to him. She rested her hand on his, the light but comforting gesture making Koutarou startle. The sudden move made the towel slide off of his head and it fell on the ground while he turned a thunderstruck face towards the young girl. His eyes were wide, still shining with tears. He was a little red from crying but no tear could be seen any more.
"When did we stop talking to each other?" She asked in a low voice with a sad smile.
Koutarou's lips fell open and instinctively, his fingers grasped Ayaka's tightly, trembling lightly.
"I know… we've not been very honest with each other lately and… things… are more broken than beautiful but…" She continued, her voice strangely serene, "But… you're still my best friend, Koutarou. It hasn't changed, never and I'll always be your friend no matter what happens…"
She paused, taking in a slight breathe. Koutarou's heart was beating strongly in his chest and for the first time in a long while, he felt his heart and it didn't hurt. It wasn't a hole or cold sensation, it felt warm and comforting. It felt right…
"I want to tell you to talk to me but… but I'm sure the entire team feels the same." Ayaka said.
Koutarou blinked, remembering Akaashi's words and even if it still hurt a little, he realized that he must have been hurting his friends as well…
"When you'll remember that we're teammates, tell us, Bokuto-san."
"Did Akaashi-kun's words hurt you?" Ayaka asked, as if reading his thoughts.
"It…"
His voice was croaked and he swallowed before being able to talk.
"It stung… but… he wasn't wrong…" He murmured.
Ayaka smiled softly, squeezing his hand, making him look up at her.
"Talk to your teammates. They need it, and you need it as well…" She whispered, standing up without taking her hand away from his.
"You're… you're not going to tell me that… I should talk to you…?" He hesitated, his voice breaking a little.
He clung tightly her fingers but slowly, Ayaka pulled her hand away from his, almost reluctantly. She kept her expression away from him so he wouldn't see how sad she felt.
"You can always talk to me, Koutarou. But you don't need me anymore… Y-you have all of your teammates… and you have your Sowlmate, Fukui… But I'll always be here for you!" She said with a smile, tears shining in her eyes.
But I need you… I love you… he thought, hand still in the air, hoping he'd get to hold it once again, just a little while longer. Things really are broken, uh…? He realized, lowering his gaze and hand. I guess I only have myself to blame…
"For now, rest a little and wait until your team is done with this match. Make up then, ok?" Ayaka continued, kneeling in front of him.
His eyes widened when he saw her kneeling at his feet but then, gently, delicately, she pulled at his knee pads, pulling them down to his ankles. Not feeling the slight pressure of his high knee pads against his skin felt strange but he immediately relaxed. It was so silly, but with the knee pads down on his ankles, it always felt like the match was over. Whether it was a win or a loss. It meant he could just sigh, he could breathe and he could let the pressure out…
Ayaka straightened up, satisfied to see the light back in Koutarou's eyes. She started walking away from him but Koutarou's hand suddenly reached for hers, grabbing it tightly and stopping her in her tracks.
"I-if I… If I don't let you go…" Koutarou started in a slightly trembling voice, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, "What will you do…?" He breathed out.
Ayaka stared at him in surprise. Koutarou's hand tightened around hers and she felt something exploding in her chest. She wanted to sit on his laps, to wrap her arms around him, to let go of everything that had ever happened.
But she didn't do a thing.
There were many things she could have answered: I won't let go as well, I'm still trying to let go of you, I have Wakatoshi now, I don't know… But she didn't say a thing.
Ayaka looked away, her fingers squeezing lightly Koutarou's before she took another step away from him. Her hand slipped away from his and he grasped nothing else but thin air.
Her steps resonating in the hall as he lowered his head, staring at his hands.
She hadn't answered his question, but it also meant he didn't receive a refusal yet. He still had a chance, he still had hope. She wouldn't have seeked him out otherwise, she wouldn't have hold his hands, she wouldn't have squeezed back when he had grabbed her hand. She wouldn't have remained silent. He still had hope…
At the other corner of the hall, Akaashi and the entire team of regulars glanced at each other in silence. They had heard and seen everything. They had come looking for their Captain to apologize and show they were supporting him but… they had found something else: the proof that Koutarou's strength as Ace and Captain, even if it was shaken up, was still here – as long as they remained a team, he'd be strong.
Fukurodani Academy's volleyball team, after getting their Captain back with them, thanked once again Abe Osamu and the National Japanese volleyball team. Everyone felt a little disappointed. Not from the defeat, but of everything that had happened – they felt like they had messed up their chance.
Fukurodani Academy's volleyball gymnasium…
"Well, it was a pretty good match despite the little down moments that happened. Abe Osamu seemed satisfied as well. I hope you took the opportunity to observe really well your senpai and get some notes because this is the level you have to reach for if you want to become pro. Now the main focus will be the Spring High! Monday morning I want you all fresh and ready to win, ok?"
"OOOSSSS!"
"Do the Captain and Vice-Captain have anything to add?" Yamiji continued, glancing at Akaashi and Bokuto.
The first shook lightly his head and the second looked away.
"Well, then. Rest well. For the next few days I want you to go easy at practice. Eat a good meal tonight to repair your worn-out muscles!" Yamiji announced.
The day was called off and after putting everything away – even if there wasn't much – most went out and started going home, much earlier than usual. Only the regulars remained behind, mostly because Konoha, Komi, Saru and Washio didn't want to leave Akaashi and Bokuto alone after everything that had happened and the remaining tension between the two.
The four watched the setter staring at the Ace as he pulled out a cart of volley balls.
Bokuto made the ball bounce into his hands a few times before throwing it up in the air for a serve.
"You have GOT to be kidding me!"
Bokuto startled and froze completely, ball falling on the top of his head before he hesitantly glanced at Akaashi who was glaring at him darkly – that was it, the gaze, the murderous aura around Akaashi that made everyone's legs shake in cold fear…
Bokuto's survival instinct kicked in and he immediately jumped away and tried hiding behind the cart.
"A-aA-A-akkaaa-Akesshi! AH, uh! I-I…!"
"Were you about to practice without any warm-up? What do you want? Getting injured four days before the Spring-High, is that it?!" Akaashi started, glaring at his stupid Captain who startled once again.
"N-no, I… uh… I…"
Looking away, Koutarou hesitated before swallowing hard.
"Talk to your teammates. They need it, and you need it as well."
Keiji was about to open his mouth once again to yell at his airhead Ace but Koutarou interrupted him by suddenly straightening up (but he remained behind the cart of volley balls).
"I! Uh! I… I'm sorry…" He whispered guiltily, shoulders going down.
The regulars all blinked, slightly astonished by their Captain's words. Apologizing wasn't that surprising – it was mostly that it came out of nowhere after the tense and scary atmosphere.
"I totally freaked out today and… I messed up everyone's chance because… I was just a coward… I was too scared to fail you so… I ran… away…" Koutarou continued in a low voice.
Akaashi stared at the Captain before narrowing his eyes, a pissed off expression appearing once again on his face.
"Are you seriously apologizing for asking to be out to the coach?" He hissed angrily.
Koutarou startled and pulled the cart in front of him even closer – as if it'd help him anyway.
"B-but! Akeeaasghi! You said I had to go away! You said you didn't want of me anymore!"
"No I didn't say that!"
"Yes, you did!"
"No, I didn't!"
"Uuuh…" Konoha hesitated.
"What?!" They both screamed, whipping towards the four other regulars remaining.
They all startled before Komi spoke up:
"Um, you actually said something quite close, Akaashi…"
Blinking, the setter frowned but he didn't look angry, just confused. He tried to remember what he had said exactly, recalling the last thing he had told the Ace before he had gone away.
"Get out of here. Don't come back until you've cleared your head. We don't need an Ace and Captain who can't handle his emotions on court."
"Oh…" He murmured, "But I didn't mean…"
Akaashi's voice trailed off and he fumbled with his fingers in embarrassment. He had only meant that he wanted Bokuto to get out the time for him to feel better but miscommunication had probably made the Ace feel even worse than intended.
"What the hell happened to our team?" Sarukui asked suddenly, making everyone turn towards him, "We used to be so friendly, since when to we keep secrets to each other and have stopped trusting each other?"
They all turned towards Bokuto who startled.
"O-oi… w-why are you all looking at me like that? I-I didn't mean to…! I never…!" He stammered.
Akaashi narrowed his eyes at the Captain then started walking towards him, but the expression on his face was so frightening that Bokuto's first instinct had been to freeze up completely before trying to run away. But Akaashi was faster and grabbed the back of his shirt, not letting the Ace running away. Akaashi started dragging him towards the exit, anxiously followed by all the others who just wanted to be sure there wouldn't be a case of murder.
"You are right, Sarukui-san. We used to be a good and trusting team but ever since this idiot has decided to get broken-hearted, nothing has been the same! He's not functioning so we can't as well!" Akaashi exclaimed angrily, still pulling Bokuto by the back of his shirt.
"Don't kill me, Akeaassghiii!" Bokuto shouted, "Please! I'll do anything! But don't kill me!"
"If he does kill him, we know nothing," Konoha whispered to the others.
"KONOHA BASTARD! I heard you!" Bokuto continued.
He tripped but he didn't even have time to fall properly that Akaashi continued dragging him annoyingly towards the school building. Akaashi's hand was still grabbing tightly Bokuto's shirt but now, the fabric had twisted around his neck and was almost strangling him. If Bokuto wasn't desperately holding Akaashi's wrists and the young setter wasn't trying to be careful (main word of the sentence: trying), it might actually hurt the Ace's neck and breathing abilities… Akaashi wouldn't want his Captain truly dead a few days before the Spring High – too much paperwork for him, the Vice-Captain.
The team crossed the Academy until arriving at the main building that they entered, still following an angry and terribly silent Akaashi.
When Bokuto saw the principal's office, he felt his heart tightening in fear.
That's it! Akaashi is going to force me to leave the team, he'll give me off to the principal or something! My volleyball life is over! He thought, half strangled by the hold the setter had on his shirt.
Suddenly, Akaashi pulled him forward so violently Bokuto fell forward on the floor, his entire body suddenly aching from the harsh fall. He turned around to face Akaashi but if the setter was looking down at him, his hand was now pointing at the huge vitrine where all of Fukurodani Academy's prices and competitions were collected. There were cups and medals from every team from every clubs that had been won over the years. Akaashi was pointing at a massive golden cup and even if Bokuto knew that it had been won by the volleyball team, he had no idea what the setter was trying to do.
"This! Is the last volleyball competition Fukurodani Academy has won! It was over ten years ago! even Kanemoto Masaru, the greatest Ace of Fukurodani, has never won first place in an official competition! That's why YOU will prove that you are the best Ace by winning the Spring High's cup, Bokuto-san!"
Stunned, everyone watched Akaashi as he lowered his hand, staring down at Bokuto and continuing his speech:
"I want to win! I want to win so badly but… I can't do that alone! That's why a volleyball team has six players and that these six players have to trust each other for everything – the good, the bad and everything else!"
The setter moved towards Bokuto who startled in fear but Akaashi only knelt in front of him, showing his hand. Unable to say a thing, Koutarou stared at him in astonishment as Keiji smiled sadly.
"I told you, didn't I…?" He said with a broken voice, "You can trust us…"
Koutarou's eyes widened, remembering what had happened during the holiday and Akaashi's words.
"Everyone is worried about you, we've all noticed it. You don't have to hide it from us, Bokuto-san."
Keiji continued, the rest of the team walking closer to stay nearby.
"I want to win, we all do. But… we can't do that without you, Ace…"
Koutarou startled when he was called that but before he could say a thing, Konoha spoke up:
"He's right, Bokuto, you're our Ace and Captain."
"Who is supposed to guide us if it's not you?" Sarukui said.
"You're the strong one who doesn't give up when we feel down…" Washio intervened with a smile.
"We chose you as Captain, Bokuto! Which means that we trust you into taking us to victory with your strength as an Ace!" Komi exclaimed, hands on his hips.
Koutarou stared at each and every one of his teammates… So many times he had failed them, so many times he had not been a good Ace or Captain and yet… they were still here, behind him…
"A-all of you…" He whispered.
"We can be strong for you when you feel down and moody, Bokuto-san… But when we feel down – we'll need you." Akaashi added, putting a hand on his arm, "That's why you need to get yourself together for the Spring-High. Because we'll definitely need our Ace and Captain then…"
Eyes filling his eyes, Bokuto Koutarou took a shaky breath in, head lowering while his friends smiled and patted his shoulders. He put his arm against his eyes, wiping away the tears of happiness stinging his eyes. Then, he slowly started making a move to start getting up.
Ayaka had been right all along. Not only he needed to talk with his friends as much as they needed to talk to him… but they had chosen him for a reason. If it could feel like a mistake whenever he was moody, or weak, or in a bad day… it also meant that they had wanted him because they needed him.
"The second and first years are ready to make you the Captain knowing how childish or moody you can be. And they don't expect you to guide them or be a pillar all the time, they just know that you have the power and confidence to be the pillar of the team when all others have failed…"
Bokuto got up, with the hands of his teammates on his shoulders, arms and back. Despite his shining eyes, he grinned and they all mirrored his excited expression.
"I can't thank you enough, all of you, for the trust you're giving me and from now on… I'll trust you – no matter what, whatever reason… I'll trust you. I…"
"Have more faith in the choice your teammates have made."
"I have faith in you… You're… the best team anyone could ever ask for…"
He put his hand in the middle of their circle and one by one, they all added their hands on top of his.
"We're going to win the Nationals! We're going to show everyone that we're the best team out there!"
"YEAH!" They all shouted.
"FUKURODANI! FIGHT!" Bokuto screamed with a strong and determined voice.
"OOSSSSSS!" The others all shouted just as enthusiastically, their hands going up in the air with their screams.
A door suddenly opened, making them jump and they whipped around, paling when they saw the headmaster of the Academy glaring at them.
"OI! Who is screaming in the halls?!"
PS: They got scolded by both the headmaster AND Coach Yamiji.
PPS: Also, they all received autographs from the National team after Ayaka asked for them (becaue they were too shy and intimated to go out and ask themselves so she did it for her owls who ended up crying in a manly way at the autographs in their hands from their heroes)
Fun fact(?): The names I used for the two players I named are members of the actual, real life, Japanese National team of volleyball - the positions should be correct as well but I read from the Japanese wikipedia page and my Japanese isn't that good yet. ALso, they shouldn't actually BE in Tokyo BUT, we'll say they're in the capital temporarily for practice?
Once again, Ayaka saves Koutarou and the team. Team bonding to its ultimate level. No one could bond as well as them, not even Karasuno (yet).
THE SPRING HIGH IS COMING AND I AM SO SORRY KOUTAROU
I'll go watch the first episode of the season 3 another time now.
Thank you for reading so far!
Yours Truly,
May
