AN: OK, so not everybody figured it out in the last chapter – Bella didn't that's for damn sure. If you want help then keep reading this AN, otherwise skip it.

A few chapters back Bella mentioned she had food poisoning and suffered from vomiting and diarrhea. Many readers thought she was pregnant because of the vomiting. Many of you also thought that she would also end up pregnant because of the medication she took making the pill ineffective. She didn't take any medication. I did some research on anti-biotics and the pill – apparently there are very few anti-biotics that actually negate the effects of the pill so I decided not to go down that route (do your own research before taking my word for it though). Hence the reason she had food poisoning. Bella either threw one or more of her pills up or passed them before they had time to be absorbed by her system. Then they decided not to use condoms…so hopefully that's cleared it up (Bella's still in the dark though).

Chapter 42.

As Edward pottered around the kitchen preparing dinner I relaxed on a stool at the island sipping wine and nibbling on the selection of cheese and pate he had placed in front of me. He talked animatedly about his family and about his upbringing. He told me about Dave the security guy who was one of his best mates through school. How they grew up like brothers despite the fact that Dave's family was not wealthy.

I was beginning to like that about the Cullen's. Despite their wealth, and their sons' successes it didn't seem like they were snooty elitists.

Edward served dinner in the more casual of the two dining rooms. Roast Chicken with baked vegetables and gravy made from scratch. That was what impressed me the most. There was just no end to this guy's abilities. And the food was perfectly cooked and delicious. Not a hint of too much chili anywhere!

After dinner we retired to one of the sitting rooms upstairs. There was still a small amount of light outside so we settled into a window seat that looked out to the ocean, sitting at opposite ends, feet propped up between us. We sat there and talked for what felt like hours, back and forth about all sorts of things. His life was fascinating. The travel both in the US and overseas. The people he came across. The devastation that he got to see along with the joys, the hope and the despair. The internal politics, and the international diplomacy. He talked passionately and with care about so much of it. He listened as I talked about my artwork and my business, asking questions that really made me think. He could be intense in one moment and playful the next.

Edward talked passionately about wanting to be re-elected as he massaged one of my feet, his thumb rubbing soothingly back and forth against the arch.

"So how did this come about then?" I motioned between the two of us. "How did I end up in a hotel room with you on that first night?"

Edward's eyebrows lifted and his cheeks filled with air as he looked out the window as if the now non-existent view we had of the ocean held the answers.

"It was Emmett's idea. He…I guess he thought I needed to get laid." I simply nodded. "It's….it had," he corrected, "been a really long time for me. And as you can probably tell I'm a fairly sexual being."

"Right." Did that mean he was still just using me for sex? "So why not find a girlfriend?"

He looked at me with a slightly perplexed look on his face, his brow furrowing for a moment, his hands stilling on my foot.

"This job is grueling Belle. I spend very little time at home. I get to sit around and do nothing once in a blue moon. Not only is it difficult to meet someone when you're as busy as I am, but to actually ask them to share this life with me, and then to deal with all of the attention and scrutiny that would come with it?

"Aside from that, I just haven't met anyone in a long time who I want to be with in that way. A lot of the women I meet are either money hungry bitches who know how wealthy my family is. Or they're trying to climb the political ladder and know that being with the president will boost their career."

"I see." I was pretty sure I was doing a very poor job at concealing the resentment I felt to his remarks. "And then there's what it will do for your chances of re-election."

Edward studied my face for a few moments. "And then there's that," he replied softly, regretfully, as he looked back out into the darkness.

And there it was.

"How about you? How did you end up in my hotel room all those months ago?"

"Are you kidding? Edward Cullen, The President of the United States of America wants to sleep with a girl and I get the call up? Why wouldn't I do it?" The look on Edward's face told me he could hear the edge in my voice and he was not happy.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." I was defensive now. "I know," I repeated, picking imaginary fluff off my leg. "A friend of mine runs an agency. I've done work for her for a while, just dates and stuff." I looked out the window as I continued my story, not able to look at his face, but only seeing the reflection of the room. "One thing led to another and I eventually took on work sleeping with men."

"Why?"

"Why else? The money."

"There are other reasons."

"No there aren't." I replied harshly. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about. "Do you think if I didn't have college debts and a career that promises little in the way of a steady income I would have started doing this? I'm an artist Edward, not an accountant."

"What about your business?"

"It's new. I don't yet earn enough from that to live either. I'm not destitute or anything…"

"You could be doing something else."

"In case you hadn't noticed there's a recession going on out there. It was an opportunity and I took it."

"Do you enjoy it?" Why did he want to know that?

I shrugged. "I don't think enjoy is the right word. I've never been treated badly. It's an adjustment. I don't know. I try not to think about it too much." I took a sip from the red wine glass in my hand as he came up with the next question in his interrogation.

"And boyfriends. How have they reacted?"

"There haven't been any."

Edward's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "That seems…..why not?"

"I don't know, I just hadn't met anyone I guess."

"Would you give it up?" I tilted my head to the side indicating I wasn't sure if I understood his meaning. "If you were seeing someone, and they asked you to, would you give it up? All of it."

"I don't know the answer to that," I lied.

"Why not?"

"Because I haven't had to think about it," I snapped, frustrated at his line of questioning. But knowing that I already had.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You…" I wasn't sure if he actually knew why I was pissed off. It had nothing to do with his line of questioning. I looked up into his eyes and could see the compassion he held. "What are we doing Edward?"

He closed his eyes, "I don't know Belle," he answered, defeat written all over his face. His body relaxed, almost as if he was relieved one of us had finally broached the subject.

"Bella." I corrected.

Edward's eyebrows lifted in surprise. Realization forming on his face.

"Bella Swan. Not Dwyer."

"Right, of course. I'd forgotten. Bella." He smiled. "We've gotten ourselves in a bit of a mess haven't we?"

"I know I have," I replied.

"Do you think it's any different for me?"

I shrugged. "You make me feel like I'm the only thing in your world. But then you say things like you did before and it's hard not to wonder whether I'm reading into it what I want. Or whether you're just a really good actor."

"Say things like what?"

"Like you've never met someone who you want to….commit to, or whatever."

"I didn't mean….I wasn't including you in that."

"What does that mean?"

"I….it means that if things were different."

"But they're not."

"No." He huffed, defeated. Hands running through his hair in frustration. There was not a lot left that could be said. We both knew the impossibility of the situation so were left to ponder what left there was to salvage. Years worth of secret trysts, risking Edward's reputation, and mine every time we met? Or should we cut our losses now and leave each other on friendly terms.

AN: Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts.