Hey guys! This chapter is very Lorelai/Rory centered with a little Lorelai and well you'll see hahaha. I enjoyed writing it. I'll try and update soon. Thanks! :)


The next few days passed quickly. Luke and Lorelai settled back into their routines and Luke's fears and concerns began to subside. Rory who had sensed a shift lately had decided not to say anything about Luke's absence at first. But deep down, it was still nagging her. She wasn't sure what exactly had happened between them, but whatever it was had been big. She could feel it. Not wanting to disrupt the newfound happiness again, she decided to keep her worries to herself.

One evening, she was sitting on the floor in front of the couch working on her homework. Lorelai walked from the kitchen carrying two mugs of hot chocolate and sat down behind her daughter. She smiled and put one of the mugs in front of her, "I added extra marshmallows for you."

Rory smiled, "Thanks Mom. Luke working late tonight?"

Lorelai took a sip of her drink and pulled her legs up under her on the couch, "He should be home in a bit. Joe was going on a date and Luke was going to close. But he called and said it was pretty dead so he was going to come home early and eat with us. He's bringing food."

Rory nodded and turned back to her homework, "That's good."

Lorelai watched her for a moment; she could tell she was tense. She had been quieter than usual the last few days but wasn't open about what she was feeling. The night she had made up with Luke, Rory had asked her if anything was going on. Lorelai of course had denied it and then afterwards went to meet Luke at the Dragonfly. Since things were better, she saw no real point in bringing any issues up now. But still...something was off with her daughter.

"Hey so I was thinking that we need to pick a night to get a tree soon." Lorelai said as she leaned over and placed her mug on the side table, "What do you think?"

Rory shrugged, "Whenever you want is fine."

Lorelai pursed her lips, "You love picking out a tree. Usually takes us hours to find the right one. You need them to be just perfect."

Rory smiled, "Yeah well I'm older now Mom. It doesn't really matter."

Lorelai leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, "Oh come on, it totally matters. Christmas is our favorite holiday!"

Rory wasn't looking at her as she tried to focus on her work, "Mom I really need to get this assignment done. It's worth a lot for my midterm grade."

Her Mother felt her heart jump in her chest. Were the days of enjoying the holidays slowly slipping away? Was her daughter going to turn into one of those moody, distant teenagers? The thought sent a shiver down her spine. "Hey kiddo...what's going-"

"Mom." Rory said more quickly as she turned her head towards Lorelai, "Seriously, I'm not trying to be rude. But I need to concentrate."

Lorelai sighed and leaned back against the couch, "Okay. Sorry. I'll let you get too it." She pushed herself up off the couch and grabbed her mug before walking towards the kitchen.

From her seat, Rory felt a twinge of regret but didn't know how to voice what was bothering her. Sometimes she was so afraid to burst this bubble of happiness between them all that it was easier to just stay silent and let things work out for themselves. With a heavy sigh, she looked down at the paper in front of her and got back to work.


Ten minutes later, the front door open and Luke walked in with bags full of food. He stepped into the living room and smiled at Rory doing her homework, "Hey kid. Hungry? I brought some burgers and stuff home."

Rory lifted her head, glanced at him once and then looked back at her assignment; "I'll come get it in a minute."

He frowned, "Oh. Okay. Well I don't want them to get too cold. I brought chili fries too."

She nodded still not looking up at him, "Great. Thanks. Just five minutes."

Luke nodded slowly and then walked into the kitchen. He saw Lorelai sitting at the table; she had one leg pulled up on the chair, leaning against her chest. She was writing in a notebook for work, glancing up she smiled softly at him, "Hey."

He nodded towards her and placed the bags down before walking over to her and leaning down to peck her lips, "Hey." He jerked his thumb towards the living room, "She okay?"

Lorelai smiled sadly and shrugged, "She seems to be in a bit of a mood. Didn't seem particularly keen on sharing so I'm just kind of letting her have her space."

Luke nodded, he was quiet for a moment before he rubbed his hands together, "She's been kind of quiet for the last few days now."

Lorelai nodded, "I know." She shrugged again, "Could just be the beginning of teenage angst."

He chuckled, "Oh joy."

She smiled, "There's no avoiding it really."

Just then, Rory walked into the room and walked to the counter, "I think I'm just gonna eat in the living room so I can get some work done."

Lorelai moved her leg so both feet were on the ground, "Hon I'd really like the three of us to have dinner together. Luke brought stuff home for us and-"

"It's just Burgers and fries." Rory said with a sigh, "It's not like he made a gourmet meal."

Luke stepped back slightly and Lorelai's face-hardened, "Hey, that wasn't very nice. What's with the tood?"

Rory felt her heart pounding in her chest and she wanted to say something but still she held back, "Nothing. There is no tood. I just have work to get done Mom. I told you that this assignment is worth a lot for my grade."

Lorelai nodded, "I understand that and you know I respect that. But that doesn't mean that you can be rude to Luke or I. Now I'd like you to come sit down and have dinner with us."

Rory turned hands on hips, "Seriously?"

Lorelai stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, staring her down, "Yes. Seriously."

Rory took a deep breath, reached into the bag and took out and walked back to the table. "Fine."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at her, "Rory what-"

"Are you going to eat now or what?" Rory asked turning to look at them both, "I really want to get my work done."

Lorelai sighed, "You know what? Never mind. If you are going to act like this you might as well eat by yourself then."

"God. Make up your mind!" Rory said as tears sprung in her eyes, "First you insist on eating together as a," She lifted her hands up and used air quotes as she said, "family. And now you want me to eat alone. What's gonna make you happy Mom?"

"Rory…" Luke whispered softly feeling the tension build higher and higher.

"What's with the air quotes when you say family?" Lorelai asked, "You have something you need to say?"

Rory stood up defiantly and shook her head, "Nope. Do you have something you need to say?"

Lorelai narrowed her eyes at her, "Yes I do. Why don't you take your dinner and your homework to your room until you figure out what the issue is? Then when my daughter decides to finally return she can come to talk us."

"Did you want something else to eat?" Luke asked suddenly, "I can probably find something here-"

"You aren't making her anything else to eat." Lorelai said shaking her head, "She's fine with the burger. Right Rory?"

Rory glared at her Mom, "I'm fantastic. Burger's great. Thanks Luke."

"Rory-" Luke said trying to step towards her.

Rory scoffed and rolled her eyes, "God leave me alone Luke. You're not my Father." She grabbed her food, walked to her room and slammed the door behind her.

Her words hung in the air as Luke and Lorelai stood still in the kitchen. She was right of course, but it didn't mean that her words hadn't stung. Lorelai ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I have no idea what's going on with her."

Luke swallowed hard and turned towards her, "Well she's right-"

"Yeah but she doesn't have to be so rude." Lorelai said quickly.

"Just because she burned a few things doesn't mean that that pain of what Chris did can be totally erased." Luke said softly, "I understand that. It's okay. She's just upset."

Lorelai shook her head, "I feel like it's more than that. She's hiding something and I don't like it."

Luke sighed and walked over to her, "You mind if I try and talk to her?"

Lorelai laughed, "You want to go straight into the lion's den?"

He smirked, "I'd like to give it a shot if you don't mind."

Lorelai held up her arms, "Suit yourself mister. But take some armor with you. Sounds like she's shooting to kill tonight."

Luke laughed, "I will have my guard up." Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to the side of her face, "Try and eat. Food's getting cold."

As he went to walk away, she grabbed his hand, "Luke?"

He turned back to her and smiled, "Yeah?"

"Thank you." Her voice was soft and pained as she said it and he knew that those words covered a lot.

He gave her hand a squeeze and winked, "You got it."

Lorelai watched him walk away and hoped that whatever happened next helped the situation instead of making it worse. Luke tentatively knocked on the door and heard Rory sigh from inside her room. "Rory?" He called as he poked his head into the room.

She groaned and turned from her desk to look at him, "Leave me alone Luke."

He frowned and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the hardwood and took a few moments to compose himself. He had thought it would be a good idea to try and talk to Rory on his own. But the look on her face suddenly made him wish that Lorelai was right beside him.

"I was hoping that maybe we could talk for a minute. Just you and me." He said walking further into the room. When she didn't respond he continued to talk, "We haven't talked much lately."

Rory turned back to her desk and mumbled on her breath, "Well you've been pretty busy. Work meetings and all."

Luke cringed slightly as he sat on the edge of her bed, "I'm never too busy for you." He hoped his voice sounded confident and less terrified than he felt, "You know that."

Stubbornly, Rory pushed her plate of food to the side on the desk, "I'm not that hungry. You can bring this out to the kitchen when you leave."

Luke sighed heavily and placed his hands on his knees, "Rory...what's going on? You're not acting like yourself."

Lifting her head slowly, she stared out the window and frowned, "Yeah well you weren't acting like yourself for awhile either and no one seemed to say anything. Then suddenly things are fine again. Why can't I just be in a mood and be left alone?"

He swallowed hard, "So...you're mad at me then?"

Rory turned to look at him when she realized he wasn't going to give up so easily, "Sometimes I think you and my Mom forget I'm 13. I'm not a little kid anymore. Things don't go unnoticed. I know something went on between Thanksgiving and now. I know you weren't in Boston on a business trip. I'm not stupid."

He frowned sadly, "No one would ever accuse you of being stupid Rory. That I can assure you."

Her eyebrows rose slowly, "So you admit that you weren't on a business trip?"

He licked his lips and looked down at his hands nervously, "No Rory. I wasn't away on business."

She nodded slowly, "So you and Mom got into a fight and you bailed?"

The tremble in her voice sent a rush of paint straight to his heart, "Rory-"

"You bailed on her. You bailed on us." She said as the tears she had been holding in began to escape, "You wanted out. Maybe you still do."

He flinched and stood up to walk over to her, "It wasn't-"

"Maybe the whole saving my life thing put things into perspective for you and you realized this is all too much. You want to leave Luke? You wanna run away like my Dad? Then fine." She pointed to her bedroom door; "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Luke sighed and knelt down in front of her, "Rory I don't want to leave. I don't." He shook his head and tried to reach for her hand but she pulled away from his touch, "Just let me-"

"Don't touch me." She said pushing her chair away.

The tears glistening in her eyes broke his heart into a million small pieces, "I don't want to leave you or your Mom, okay? I just...I got a little freaked out and I tried to hide. That was wrong of me. You're right about that part. I broke a promise to you. Something I swore I would never do."

Rory huffed, "People always break their promises. Especially men in my life. I'm beginning to realize that. It's fine. You don't' have to pretend you like me anymore."

"God Rory…" He scooted closer to her and tried to reach for her again but she twisted away from him, "This had nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. This was me." He said pointing to his chest, "I don't know how to explain it. But if you-"

"You don't have to explain it." She said standing up and walking to her dresser, "It's fine. Really. I got it. I'm really tired. I think I'll go to bed early and finish this assignment in the morning."

Pushing himself up off the ground, he stepped towards her again, "Rory please-"

"Please go." She said closing her eyes, "Just…" She shook her head and looked down, "I really want to be alone right now."

He stood up a little straighter and filled his lungs with air, "Okay. I can respect that you need some space." He turned slowly and started to walk towards the door, he stopped just as he reached for the doorknob, "Whether you believe me or not, I really am sorry that I disappointed you. And when you're ready to talk to me...I'll tell you everything. You just say the word. Okay?"

She didn't respond right away, but then she turned her head to look at him. Lifting her chin she nodded once letting him know she had heard him. He tried to smile before he turned the doorknob, "Okay. Goodnight Rory."

When he walked back out to the kitchen, he saw Lorelai standing anxiously by the stove picking at the plate of food on the counter beside her. She put a half eaten fry back down on the plate and brushed her hands together, "I thought I heard yelling? What happened?"

Luke sighed, walked over to one of the chairs at the table and collapsed into it, "I'm the world's biggest jerk. That's what happened."

Lorelai swallowed the rest of the fry and then went to sit beside him, "What are you talking about?"

Leaning his elbows on the table, he rubbed his hands over his face, "Rory sort of picked up on the stuff between us last week. She called me out for the whole being away on business thing and said I was trying to bail on the two of you."

"Oh no." She said sadly as she reached for his arm, "She asked me that night before I met you at the Dragonfly about what was going on. I told her nothing...I thought once you were back she'd forget about it. I didn't see any reason to upset her."

He shrugged, "Neither did I. But I guess that backfired. She said we don't always remember how old she is or that she notices things." He rested his chin in his hand, "I feel terrible. She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you." Lorelai whispered, leaning into him, "You know she doesn't. She's just…" Her voice trailed off and she sighed, "She's feeling a little vulnerable. Kind of like you were and she doesn't know how to handle it."

"But she's right." Luke whispered, "In a way I kind of did bail. Just like Christopher. I did the one thing I said I'd never do. I lied to her and you and ran away like a coward."

"Oh Luke…" She pulled herself up off of the chair and settled in his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "You are nothing like Christopher. Nothing at all."

He leaned into her, "Well I feel pretty crappy at the moment. She started to cry...when the two of you cry in general it's like torture. But if it's caused by me you might as well throw me into the fire pit of hell."

She smiled sadly and pressed a kiss to the side of his face, "Babe…"

He squeezed her tight and closed his eyes, resting his head in the crook of her neck, "You two are all I have in this world Lorelai. I ran because I was scared of losing that but in the process I hurt you both. I'm a jackass."

"You are not." She said squeezing him as she lifted his hat and began to thread her fingers through his hair, "You're not. We all make mistakes Luke. This parenting this is really hard. You're doing the best you can. I know that. And Rory does too. She's a teenager now so her emotions are going to be more intense than they would be in the past. The last few months have brought a lot of changes for her and she's adjusting too. We're all doing the best we can."

"Yeah I know." He said nodding his head, "But what if she never talks to me again?"

"She will." She said giving him a squeeze, "She adores you Luke."

He sat quietly for a moment, just holding her close, "When do you think the ice will thaw enough for me to try again?"

"Just give her some time…" Lorelai whispered, "I know my girl. She'll come to you when she's ready."

He nodded slowly, "So until then I just have to feel like crap waiting?"

She laughed softly, "Welcome to parenting my friend."

He groaned and rolled his head back, "We're never having kids. I can't take this."

She smiled and tilted his head towards hers to kiss him lightly, "Yes we are. And every minute including the bad ones will be worth it."

He smiled and kissed her back, "You know I'm sorry right? You know that I never meant to hurt you?"

She caressed the side of his face and smiled, "I do know that babe. It will all work out. You'll see."

Luke nuzzled his face into her hair and nodded, trying to dull the ache in his chest. He had to believe her...otherwise the next couple of days could kill him. The thought that Rory was on the other side of the door, sad, angry and confused because of him was too much to bear.


The following morning, Rory woke up early and dashed off to school on her own. Lorelai had to practically drag Luke to the Diner to keep him from running after her. When she was sure he would stay at work, Lorelai went to the Inn. Around 10:00 she was sitting at her desk trying to concentrate on the work she had to get done. But her mind kept wandering to the situation at home. Strangely...it kept wandering to the issues with her Mother as well.

She could identify with Rory's fears about losing Luke. Lorelai was afraid to get attached to her Mom again because she didn't want to get disappointed like she had in the past. She wanted things to be better. Really she did. But somehow the fear always won…

Thinking about Luke and the pain he carried over losing his own parents, she knew that the longer she waited the harder it would be to bridge that gap. She hated to think that someday she'd lose her Mom without ever having settled at least some of their issues. Nervously, she lifted the phone on her desk to her ear and dialed the number to her parent's house.

After a few rings, her Mother answered, "Gilmore residence."

She took a deep breath, "Um. Hi Mom. It's...It's Lorelai."

There was a silence on the other end for a moment; she assumed Emily was surprised to be hearing from her daughter, "Lorelai! Hello. Were you looking for your father?"

She grimaced slightly, "Actually no. I was uh…" She sighed and began to fidget with her hair, "I know this is sort of last minute...but I was wondering if you would be interested in coming to the Inn today to have lunch with me."

She heard Emily gasp, "Lunch at the Inn? Today?"

"Yes. If you already have plans it's no problem we can try-" Lorelai began to ramble but Emily cut her off.

"Oh no! I can make that work. Would it just be you and I or would you like your Father to-" It was Emily's turn to ramble.

"Just you and me." Lorelai whispered, "I'd like...I'd like to talk about something's."

"O-Okay." Emily whispered, "Sure. I'll-I'll bet here. What time were you thinking?"

"Would 1 work for you? My friend Sookie is the chef here. She's making a wonderful Chicken Pot Pie today. It smells delicious. Makes it all from scratch." Lorelai said.

"That sounds delightful. I'll see you at one." Emily said in a soft voice.

She inhaled quickly, "Great. I'll see you then."

"Wonderful. Well, goodbye." Emily said before she hung up.

Lorelai hung up her own phone and let the clamoring in her heart began to slow down. Emily was definitely coming...she just wondered if she was ready to face that fight too.


By 12:55, Lorelai was standing in the lobby pulling at her clothes. Whenever her Mother was around she instantly became aware of any imperfections. Emily often pointed them out to her whether she wanted to hear them or not. Sookie walked up behind Lorelai and placed a reassuring hand on her best friend's back, "You okay?"

Lorelai sighed, "Just a little nervous. I don't know why I bothered to ask her to come when I hadn't even thought of what I wanted to say."

"Maybe this is better." Sookie said with a shrug, "You can just speak from your heart."

Lorelai nodded, "Yeah well maybe you should take away the knives from the table just in case."

Sookie laughed and squeezed her arm, "You're going to be fine. You can do this. I mean when you think about it...for the first time in your life you have the upper hand in the situation Lorelai. You get to call the shots here and your Mom knows that."

"I know. But she still makes me incredibly nervous. She has this way of making me feel…" She pouted and looked down at the ground, "So incredibly small."

"She only does that because let her." Sookie whispered leaning into her, "You're stronger than you realize. Think of everything you have been through in the last few months alone. You're one tough chick Lorelai. You can handle her."

She turned towards the front door just as Emily walked in, "I can handle her."

Sookie smiled and patted her on the back, "Keep repeating that in your head. Lunch will be out in a minute."

"Thanks Sook." Lorelai said giving her a smile before walking towards the door, "Hi Mom. Welcome to the Independence Inn."

Emily turned towards her daughter and smiled nervously, "Hello Lorelai. This place is beautiful. Thank you for inviting me."

A blush crept up on Lorelai's cheeks and she just nodded, "Would you like to go into the Dining room? Lunch will be ready in a few minutes."

"That sounds wonderful." Emily said as she followed her to the left.

Lorelai showed her to their table and both women took their seats. Emily took a sip of water and declined the waiter when he asked if she wanted any wine. The two women fidgeted in their seats for a few awkward minutes until Emily spoke.

"How are Luke and Rory feeling? Your father said Rory was able to take the boot off and that Luke has gone back to work. Sounds like they are doing well." Emily said.

Lorelai smiled, "They are. Rory is pretty much back to the swing of things. And Luke is too for the most part. He still gets some intense headaches from time to time and I'm trying to get him to take it a little bit slower than he is used too...but all things considered he's doing great."

"That's wonderful to hear." Emily said, "Send them my regards."

Lorelai swallowed and looked down at her hands on the table, "I-I will."

"And...your Thanksgiving, was it enjoyable?" Emily asked feeling the need to fill the silence, "Your Father and I visited some friends in the city and-"

"Mom." Lorelai said quickly, she lifted her head and smiled weakly, "Let's not do awkward chit chat, okay?"

Emily sat up a little straighter and nodded once, "Alright." She smoothed her hands over the table and smiled nervously, "Was there something specific you wanted to discuss?"

Just as Lorelai was going to respond the waiter brought out their lunch and set it down in front of them, "Oh thanks Danny. It smells great." Lorelai lifted her fork and poked at the individual potpie in front of her, she watched the steam pour out of it and could practically feel her Mother's eyes directly on her, "Luke's parents are both dead."

Emily cleared her throat loudly, she hadn't been expecting that, "Your Father mentioned that yes-"

"And I'm…" Lorelai sighed and shook her head, "I've just been thinking a lot about family. About Rory and you and Dad and…" Her eyes welled up with tears and she looked up at her Mom, "You have a way of making me feel incredibly insignificant." The words tumbled from her mouth before she could catch them and she instantly regretted them, "I mean-"

Emily sat back in her seat, "I'm sorry I make you feel that way."

Lorelai frowned and looked down, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way but-"

"You're being honest." Emily said with a sad smile, "Probably for the first time in your life."

She inhaled sharply and stared directly at her Mom, "Rory's been having a hard time letting go of Chris. She adores Luke and she wants so desperately to have him be a part of our family. And he is." She said nodding slowly, "But I still see that pain and fear in her that he's going to leave or maybe she worries I will even leave. I don't know…" She said with a shrug, "Maybe my fear and insecurities have translated to her. I've tried really hard to be strong for her and hide my issues but she's smarter than I give her credit for. She sees right through me."

Emily pursed her lips, "Your Father says she's quite incredible. I know I've told you that I'd like to get to know her. And I understand your hesitation but the offer still stands, totally on your terms."

Lorelai sniffled and wiped at her eyes, "I don't want to wake up one morning and find out you're…" She closed her eyes, "You're gone without finding some sort of peace. Luke misses his parents so much. He misses them everyday." She looked down and spoke in a small voice, "And the truth is I do too."

"Oh Lorelai…" Emily said leaning into the table, "I-"

"I always wanted to have a real relationship with you. One where I felt like I could come to you for anything. I think that maybe we could have that but I…" She sighed and looked back up at her, "I need to know that you're going to respect the life I have. It's nothing like yours...but it's mine. I love my life. I love Rory more than anything in this world and Luke has been the best gift I ever could have been given. They are my world. I need to know that you will respect them...and me." Her voice began to shake, "And I need to know that you won't hurt me again."

Emily closed her eyes and put a hand over her mouth, "I hurt you in ways that I can't take back or apologize for. Nothing I say will change the things I did. I should have been there for you when you needed me most but I didn't know how too." She shook her head sadly, "But I need you to know that I have regretted it every day, even more so since you left. I hate that I have missed so much but I don't blame you for wanting to keep me away. I know I've never shown it in the past but I do love you Lorelai." She smiled softly, "And I am so proud of what you have accomplished." She looked around her, "This place is beautiful and Rory…" Her smile grew, "Is a wonder. You have surpassed me in everyway as a Mother and you did it all your own."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "I've been wanting to take the next step in trying to fix this but I've been to afraid." She shrugged, "Seeing Luke and Rory's pain I realize that I can't wait anymore. I'd like to try and spend some time as a family together. You, me, Dad, Rory and even Luke if that's alright with you."

"I'd like to get to know that." Emily said as her smile grew, "I really would."

Lorelai nodded slowly and realized it was now or never, "Well alright then…" She cleared her throat and looked down at her food, "We'll set something up soon."

Emily watched her carefully before whispering softly to her, "Lorelai?"

She lifted her head slowly and smiled, "Yeah?"

The older woman's chest rose and fell softly and her eyes sparkled with tears of gratitude, "Thank you."

Lorelai smiled back and took a deep breath; there was no going back now. "You're welcome." She said with a nervous laugh, she looked down at her food, "Don't let Sookie's pot pie go to waste. You'll regret it."

Emily smiled, "Well we can't have anymore regrets now can we?"

Lorelai shook her head, "Definitely not."

The two women shared a smile and began to eat. They were both thinking about the possibility of turning a new leaf…


After work, Lorelai drove to the Diner and then walked inside. Rory was staying after school to make up work she had missed after the accident and Lorelai had told her she would pick her up. She smiled at Luke sat down on her usual stool behind the counter, he smiled and reached for the coffee pot.

"Can you make it to go?" Lorelai asked, "I'm gonna go pick up Rory."

Luke nodded and poured it in a to go cup, "Okay. I should be done here soon but do you think I should hang here?"

Lorelai smiled, "You scared of a 13 year old girl Butch?"

He frowned, "Not scared. I'm just worried she'll never forgive me."

Lorelai smiled, "She will. I was thinking that maybe we could go get a tree tonight. It's always one of her favorite Christmas activities. Might soften her mood. I saw that Kirk has his usual stand set up. We could go there."

Luke nodded slowly, "We could…"

She tilted her head to the side, "You against Christmas trees?"

He smiled and shook his head, "No not against them. I just can't remember the last time I had an actual Christmas Tree."

She frowned, "Did you have fake ones growing up? I can't picture that. You're so Mr. Outdoors."

He laughed, "No we had real ones. I just stopped getting them after my Dad died. My Dad almost wanted to not get them after Mom died but he must have felt her presence and felt guilty with us. But we always chopped our own down."

Lorelai reached across the counter and took his hand, "Oh babe…"

He shrugged sadly, "It always just felt lonely to have one in the apartment when it was just me."

"Please don't tell me you've been sitting up there every year alone on Christmas." She said with a pout.

Luke shook his head, "No. Tyler always made sure that I got my ass to his house. He wouldn't ever let me be alone."

Lorelai smiled, "Well you definitely won't be alone this year."

He nodded, "No I won't. Let's just hope Rory forgives me before then."

"She will." Lorelai said with a head nod, "Do you know anywhere that you can cut your own trees? We've never done that…" She chuckled, "Mostly because we would probably kill ourselves trying."

Luke smiled, "There's a place just past Woodbridge where you can do it."

Lorelai smiled and squeezed his hands, "Can we go there?"

He pursed his lips, "Tonight?"

She shrugged, "Yeah! Why not? We can start our own tradition."

He scrunched up his nose, "Yeah but Rory…"

"Just trust me." Lorelai whispered squeezing his hand, "We're turning a new leaf. No regrets."

He stared at her carefully, "Did something happen today that I missed?"

Lorelai smiled, "I had lunch with my Mom today. Everything with you and the accident...how Rory's feeling…" She shrugged, "I don't want to live with any regrets Luke. I don't want my Mom to die and not have at least tried to fix things. I want to start being more proactive."

Luke's face softened and he leaned against the counter towards her, "I'm really proud of you Lorelai. I know that wasn't easy for you…"

"No. It wasn't." She said with a shake of her head, "And I'm sure that at some point I will freak out again. But for right now I just want to try."

"And no matter what happens I'll be right here." He said giving her a hand another squeeze.

"I know you will." She said leaning across the counter to kiss him gently, "I'm gonna go get Rory. Meet you back here in a bit?"

Luke nodded, "I'll get ready and meet you out back at the truck."

Lorelai smiled, grabbed her coffee and then turned to walk out the door. She walked across the street to the school, waving to neighbors as she went. Just as she was walking onto school grounds, Rory began descending the front stairs. Lorelai waved and gave her a little smile; Rory didn't respond, just walked to her and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"Hey." She said, "You really didn't have to come get me."

Lorelai smiled and put an arm around her, holding her coffee in her free hand, "I wanted too. Besides we're not going home."

Rory sighed, "Mom I really don't want to go to Luke's."

"We're not." She paused, "Well we are...but just to meet him there. Then we're going out."

Rory huffed and turned towards her Mom, "Mom I know you know Luke and I had a thing last night…"

Lorelai nodded and shoved her free hand in her own pocket, "I do know that. And I know that Luke and I both gave you your space last night. But we need a Christmas Tree so we are going as a family to cut one down."

Rory's eyebrow raised, "Cut one down? We're actually going to chop it down ourselves?"

"It's what Luke used to do with his parents." Lorelai said with a smile, "I thought it would be a nice tradition for us to start."

Rory rolled her eyes, "Why start now? He'll probably be gone by next Christmas."

Lorelai sighed and took her hand out to touch Rory's shoulder, "Rory, he's not going to be gone by next Christmas."

She sniffled, "He left though, right? He wasn't in Boston that night you said he was. He was gone. He left."

Lorelai frowned, "Okay yes he wasn't in Boston but I think you need to give him a chance to explain. I will admit that I was really angry too. I was hurt as hell but you need to give him the chance to talk to you about it. You might understand more. Don't push him away…"

Rory turned her head toward the Diner, "I'm scared."

Lorelai pulled her close and squeezed her, "I know. And so am I. But don't give up yet."

Rory sighed and rested her head against her Mother's shoulder, "Okay."

"Let's go. All I'm asking is for you to at least give him a chance. Think you can do that?" She asked giving her a squeeze as they began to walk together.

Rory nodded, "I guess so."

"Good." Lorelai said with a smile, "And when we get home later, remind me to talk to you about your Grandma. We're going to give her a chance too."

Rory looked up at her as they walked, "We are?"

Lorelai smiled and kissed the side of her face, "We are."


Luke stood nervously at the truck. He had packed an ax in the back, gloves and rope. He hadn't done this in years but he was happy to be doing it with Lorelai and Rory. He just hoped that it would end up being a happy memory for them. He turned when he heard their feet crunching against the leaves on the ground.

"Hey." He smiled nervously as he rubbed his hands together.

Lorelai squeezed Rory's shoulder encouragingly, "Hey…" Rory whispered.

Lorelai nodded toward the truck, "All set to go?"

Luke nodded, "I think so yeah."

Lorelai smiled, "Okay." She looked towards the Diner, "I think I'll run inside and grab us some snacks. You want hot chocolate too hon?" She asked Rory.

Rory swallowed nervously, she knew this was meant to give her and Luke time alone. "Uh yeah. That'd be great. Thanks."

"Okay." Lorelai said leaning forward to kiss her cheek, "Be back in a minute."

Rory stared at the ground for a moment before she looked back up at Luke, "Mom says I should let you explain…"

Luke sighed, "I'd like to try if you'll let me."

Rory shrugged, "Okay…"

Luke walked around to the back of the truck and opened the tailgate; he sat down and patted the space beside him. "Come sit."

Rory walked over and climbed up beside him, "I'm listening."

Luke took a deep breath, "After the accident I was having a lot of recurring dreams and feelings. Things about my parents...even my sister." He shrugged, "Even fears about you and your Mom dying."

Rory frowned, "You didn't say anything to us…"

He nodded, "No. I didn't. Mostly because I didn't want to worry you and partly because I was to afraid to voice those fears." He sighed, "Then after Thanksgiving when my sister blew me off I just got really upset. I felt frustrated that I couldn't change any of it. And then…" He let out a shaky breath, "On the day I disappeared...it was the anniversary of my Dad's death. And every year on that day all those emotions get stirred up again and I'm not the best person to be around. I didn't know how to tell you and your Mom that so I thought it would be better if I just stayed at the apartment but told you that I was going to Boston. It was wrong that I lied but I didn't know how to talk about it."

Rory frowned, "So you were at the apartment?"

Luke nodded, "Yes. And your Mom found me and I was…" He cleared his throat, "Not in the best state of mind."

Rory smiled sadly, "You were drunk."

He sighed, "Yes. I was drunk. And I said some not so nice things in my anger and I regretted them as soon as I did. I asked Mia for help to apologize to your Mom and I told her about things. But I should have tried to talk to you too. I just…" He shrugged, "I didn't want to upset you. I guess that backfired and hurt you more than ever."

Rory let his words sink in for a moment, she looked out in front of her and began to kick her legs back and forth, "You really loved your parents."

Luke swallowed hard, "I really did."

Rory shivered and pulled her coat around her tighter, "I can't imagine what I would do if I lost Mom. She's everything to me. I don't think I could cope with it."

Luke put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, "Rory I want you to know that I am so sorry. I never want to be the person to let you down or lie to you. I know that your Dad has caused a lot of pain and I refuse to do the same thing. I love your Mother very much. But I love you too. You're so important to me and it killed me yesterday when I realized you were upset."

Rory licked her lips and turned towards him, "Luke…"

Her voice cracked and Luke smiled encouragingly, "You can tell me anything kid. You can even yell at me if it will make you feel better."

Rory took a deep breath, "You remember yesterday when I said you weren't my Dad?"

Luke nodded slowly, "I do."

"I said that out of anger. And no you aren't my Father." She frowned and felt the tears burning in her eyes, "But the truth is that you are more important to me than he ever was and I got really scared that you didn't want to be around me anymore."

Luke sighed and took Rory's small hands in his, "Rory that is never going to happen."

She sniffled slightly, "You don't know that. You can't predict what happens down the road. I know you love Mom and want to be with her but that doesn't mean that you'll be together forever. Life doesn't work that way Luke."

He frowned sadly, "No. I guess it doesn't." He looked at the ground and thought for a moment, "But what I can tell you is that I don't want to live without you or your Mom. When I saw that car coming towards you Rory…" He shook his head, "It felt like all the breath had been ripped from my lungs. I couldn't function in a world where you and your Mom weren't around. You guys have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was so alone for so long and I finally have a reason to be happy again...to really enjoy my life and I'm not going to just give up on this." He shrugged, "And even if...by some ridiculous chance your Mom and I don't make it…" He turned back towards her and smiled, "You need me...I'll be there. Always. No matter what. Okay?"

Rory heard the sincerity in his voice, felt the emotion and love he was trying to express, "Really?"

He nodded and nudged her with his shoulder, "Absolutely. I'd do anything for you kid. Including jumping in front of a car…"

She laughed softly, "You already did that one. Try not to make it a habit again."

He smiled, "I'll do my best." He squeezed her arm, "From now on you're Mom and I will try and be more honest with you about things. And if you are upset I want you to just tell us. Don't keep it all bottled up inside. I've done that for years and it's not worth it. Tell us what's going on."

Rory nodded slowly, "Okay."

"We good now?" He asked softly, "I really hated having you mad at me...didn't sleep well last night."

She smiled, "We're good."

Luke leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, "I really do love you kid."

She smiled and hugged him tight, "I love you too Luke." She pulled away and smiled, "You can come out now Mom."

Luke turned and saw Lorelai poke her head around the corner, "How'd you know I was here?"

Rory rolled her eyes, "Because it would have taken you like one minute to get the donuts and hot chocolate and you're Lorelai Gilmore. You can't help but eavesdrop. You needed to know what was going on out here."

Lorelai walked towards them and shrugged, "I needed to know my two favorite people were going to make up. I don't like when you guys fight."

Rory smiled, "We're good…"

"Yeah?" Lorelai asked handing her hot chocolate, "Really good? Like good in the sense that we can go make a happy memory by chopping down a tree?"

Rory stared at her Mom for a moment and then smiled, "Families fight, right?"

Lorelai nodded, "They do. Some more than others."

Rory nodded slowly, "And it's okay to be scared sometimes?"

Lorelai laughed, "Rory I'm probably scared 87% of the time. It's called adulting. I told you not to grow up. It really is a trap."

Rory laughed, "You tried to tell me that yeah...sorry I didn't listen."

"You remember that next time I try to give you impossible to follow advice." She said with a teasing smile.

Rory hopped down from the truck, "Let's go get a tree."

Lorelai watched her walk towards the truck and then looked back at Luke. He had a sad but hopeful expression on his face. She leaned forward and nudged him, "How you doing there bud?"

Luke smiled, "I just hope that she really understand what I was saying."

"She does." Lorelai whispered as she reached out to touch his face, "I do too."

"I just really don't want to screw this up." He said as he stood up in front of her, "I have too much to lose."

She smiled and leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him, "Well you aren't going to lose us."

Luke wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards the truck, "Thanks for wanting to cut the tree down. Means a lot to me to share this tradition with someone I love."

She wrapped her arm around his waist as he walked her to the truck, "It means a lot that you are sharing it with us too." She smiled and pulled away just enough to look at him again, "Just know we're going to one the biggest one."

Rory poked her head out of the window and smiled, "And we expect you to lug it to the truck all by yourself."

"Absolutely." Lorelai said with a nod as she climbed into the truck beside her daughter.

Luke chuckled and closed the door behind them, "God I love those girls."

He walked around the truck and climbed in behind the steering wheel. He turned the key in the ignition and Rory flipped on the radio to a Christmas Station. The girls started singing loudly along to "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses, one of Lorelai's favorite songs and his heart swelled in his chest. For the first time in years he was actually looking forward to Christmas. He finally had a family to celebrate it with again. And as far as he was concerned...no matter what either of them said they were always going to be a family.


I wasn't sure where to go with this chapter at first. But then I realized that Rory would have some feelings about Luke being gone too and decided to go from there. She adores Luke and doesn't ever want to lose him the way she lost Christopher. Will try and update soon! Thanks :)