I do not own Final Fantasy VII.


Change of Heart

Chapter LIV: Girl Talk

It was late, the bar had been closed for a couple of hours and as far as she knew, everyone had retired to bed. But as Cissnei wandered down the hall, she noticed the light glowing from the bottom of the stairs and the sound of water running. She slowly inched her way down to the doorway, feeling a little on edge about seeing anyone. She'd wanted to grab something to drink, but now she rethought her decision.

Peeking around the corner, her eyes rested on Tifa who was washing out glasses. It was something she would normally have kept until the following morning, but for some reason she was doing them in the middle of the night. Cissnei wasn't sure if she should brave Tifa's presence or if she should go back to bed. Taking the latter, she began to creep away, but the staircase betrayed her as a step creaked beneath her foot.

Tifa whipped around, catching Cissnei whose eyes were wide like a deer in headlights. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Tifa casually turned back to washing the glasses. Cissnei felt a little put off by the fact that Tifa didn't say anything to her, but she figured she shouldn't judge as she hadn't said anything either, instead choosing to flee. So, considering she'd already been seen, Cissnei approached her.

"What are you doing up?" Tifa uttered, like she was questioning a small child.

"I just wanted to grab a glass of water." Cissnei replied, trying not to sound defensive.

"Here." Tifa handed her a freshly washed glass full of cool tap water before returning to her chore.

"Thank you…" Cissnei sipped almost cautiously. The water was bitter and mildly stank of sulfur, and she instantly regretted this idea.

Tifa felt a little pleased with her discomfort but ultimately rescued her from it, "Give it to me." She reached out for the glass, "The water here really is terrible, but you are in a bar, so if there's something else you'd like just let me know."

"I'm sorry, Tifa." Cissnei instantly felt a pang of guilt stab her in the chest.

"For what?"

"For just barging in here without asking first. It wasn't exactly my intention to move in…and it still isn't. As soon as I find a tenement, I'm getting out of your way. I'm even going to sell my house in Wutai for it."

"So you're really moving to Edge."

"I want to be with Cloud."

"I thought the two of you were just friends."

Cissnei lowered her head, averting her gaze from Tifa. Again she felt guilty; feeling like even getting involved with Cloud at all was going overboard, "Again, I'm sorry. I know you're in love with him."

Tifa shut off the water and dried her hands, "I'm not anymore but…It's hard to watch the man I've known my entire life never really grow to love me the same way, and then he falls head over heels for another woman he's only met a few times." She shook her head, trying to expel the negative thoughts, "It's none of my business though."

"I understand how you feel, Tifa." Cissnei wanted to let her know her feelings toward the subject weren't stupid or unfounded, "I had to watch someone I loved love someone else. In fact, so has Cloud…and Sephiroth too."

"Sephiroth?"

"He fell in love with you before you fell for him. He told me so the first time I visited," She tried to explain it delicately, "You were still trying to get Cloud's attention, and Sephiroth's heart was hoping you'd get what you wanted, while it was breaking at the same time. But his story had a happy ending; you realized how you felt and now the two of you are together. You make a beautiful couple, by the way."

Tifa regarded her thoughtfully before turning around again.

"I'm jealous too, you know." Cissnei blurted out, she hadn't wanted to mention it, but when she saw Tifa's almost unnoticeable baby bump, she couldn't help it.

Tifa whipped around again.

"Cloud told me about the baby. He told me it was his, is that true?"

"Yes, it is." Tifa murmured, though knew not why she even bothered to answer.

"Well then, in a sense you win, Tifa…when it comes to Cloud." Cissnei pushed her hair back behind her ear, biting her lips, "You're going to give birth to Cloud's first child. Even if I give Cloud a hundred children, I could never have his first. He also told me that the doctor said there's a good chance it's a boy. First born and a son? That victory is yours."

Tifa felt somewhat embarrassed. She'd not meant to steal a victory; in fact, she'd never really considered either of them in a competition. She wondered if Cissnei truly resented her for that. She wanted to ask, but her lips didn't move. Tifa only stood there motionlessly, staring at the pained expression on Cissnei's face.

"Tifa," Cissnei began again, "I told Cloud that he shouldn't be neglectful of the baby. I suggested that he acknowledge the fact that it's his and enjoy it. Listen…I don't want you to think I hate you for this, I just feel a little awkward about it. I mean, talk of children and things like that are probably years down the road for Cloud and I if we're together that long, but…being around a woman that my new boyfriend slept with only a couple months ago is a little odd."

"Welcome to my world. I feel the same way; a man I loved slept with me and rejected me, and then turned around a few weeks later only to find love with someone else." Tifa's voice was quiet, like she'd not really wanted Cissnei to hear.

"But you found a new love before he did." Cissnei defended Cloud the best way she could.

"Hmm, touché." Tifa sighed before finally pouring Cissnei and herself a glass of fruit juice. Upon handing her a glass, Tifa conceded, "I'm sorry I haven't exactly been the warmest host."

"Thank you, Tifa." Cissnei nodded, "I'm sorry I brought up your relationship with Cloud."

"I glad that he found someone he could really confide in."

"You know, Tifa, I don't have many girlfriends…in fact, aside from Cloud I don't have any friends at all. I would very much like if we could become better acquainted."

Tifa regarded her thoughtfully, a series of images passing through her mind. She was a little reserved about what Cissnei was implying, thinking it would be weird to have 'girl talk' with her, perhaps having to hear her talk about Cloud and what they do together. But then she could always counter it by talking of Sephiroth. Tifa shook her head; it was completely stupid. She felt like a fool for putting up a barrier between Cissnei and herself because of Cloud. When she really thought about it, he didn't really seem worth the effort. Her best friend could be standing in front of her and she was pushing her away just because she didn't want to risk hearing about her love life? Not only was it absurd, it was immature.

"I would love to, Cissnei. I don't really have many close girlfriends either."

Cissnei smiled and lifted her glass to her lips, but didn't drink. Instead she stared down toward the floor, thinking of something she wanted to tell Tifa, but wasn't sure if it would be alright. In Cloud's defense, she didn't see any harm in it. "Cloud really does care about you, Tifa. You know, since we met he's talked to me a lot. You speak of him confiding in me, well…More than anything he's talked about you. He loves you very, very much, though I know it's not quite the way you want."

"Wanted," Tifa corrected with subtle smile, "Sephiroth makes me happy, happier than Cloud ever had or could. It's just hard to shake away the feelings of one's first love so readily. I fall even more in love with Sephiroth every day…but there will always be a special place in my heart for Cloud. And what makes my relationship with Sephiroth easier is that he understands that."

"I suppose I understand. I'm still in love with Zack, even though he's been dead for a couple of years now. Even though I'm starting to fall for Cloud, I'll never forget the way I felt about Zack."

A thought entered Tifa's mind then and she wondered if it was alright to ask. It was purely a hypothetical quandary, but she was curious to know what Cissnei would say. She figured she wouldn't take offense to it, considering what Cissnei had said up until now. "Cissnei, if Zack was alive, would you have come to Cloud, or would you still be trying to get Zack's attention?"

Cissnei paused; she'd never considered such a scenario. "I don't honestly know." She thought of a counter question, "What would you do if both Sephiroth and Cloud were in love with you? Who would you choose?"

That question was stranger than hers. The image of both men fighting for her heart entered her mind, and she'd be lying if she said it wasn't entertaining. But if such a thing happened, she'd have been so confused she wouldn't know what to do. So she thought about it logically, "Well, if both men wanted me, I'd have ended up with Cloud before Sephiroth came to us, so I'd choose him by default."

"I suppose that makes sense." Cissnei observed thoughtfully, "It's strange isn't it, how if one thing is different, it can alter the future so drastically." She shook her head, "I'm sorry, I think about the weirdest things."

"But you're right. I've never really thought that about it, but it's true. Considering it now, I guess our lives would be entirely different if little things hadn't have happened or happened differently."

"Like if Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth were never sent to Nibelheim."

"Yeah, our lives would be very different then, wouldn't they?"

"I'd probably still be a Turk, Shinra would still be on top of the world…"

"My father and Cloud's mother would still be alive…"

"And Zack might still be alive." Cissnei felt chill bumps prickle her arms. "Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and stop them from going…I think we all would've lived happier lives."

"True…I know mine would've been better…but…" Tifa trailed off, remembering her adventures and the wonderful friends she'd made, "…in light of the bad things that's happened, I like to think I'm a better person for it, a stronger person. I think the bad things that have happened to me have made me appreciate the things I have a little better. I've got a wonderful family and great friends that I wouldn't have if those terrible things didn't happen, and you know, I wouldn't trade them for the world."

"You're really cool."

This took Tifa by surprise. "I'm cool?"

"Yeah," She nervously scratched the back of her head, "I don't know many people who can see the things you've seen and still find something positive in it."

Tifa shook her head and managed a smile, "Well, thank you. I like to at least try to think of myself as blessed rather than cursed."

"Most people would wallow in self-pity."

"I'd be lying if I said I haven't." She yawned, looking at the clock, "We should go to bed, it's almost three o'clock."

"Yeah." Cissnei was about to wash out her glass, but Tifa stopped her.

"It can wait until later."

"Right, well good night I guess." Cissnei turned to leave.

"Cissnei," Tifa called as though she'd forgotten something.

Cissnei paused, looking back over her shoulder.

"You can stay as long as you like. I know someone who has some old furniture he's trying to get rid of…Maybe he's got a good bed you and Cloud could use."

With a big smile, Cissnei strode back over to Tifa and gave her a tight, grateful hug, "Thank you, Tifa."