Chapter Fifty One
Pull me in
Drown my fear
Could you wait another day,
Knowing that I'll come back
I'll come back no fear
Cause it was
All you wanted
And all I needed
But all I gave up, now
Could you hold me tighter
When worlds collide
Just hold me down right now
All You Wanted by Sounds Under Radio
"So, just to clarify," Tucker said, holding up a hand to silence Steve. "You're telling me that Opa Josef was actually a German defector who made some kind of steroid that made you into this?" he motioned in Steve's general direction.
"Yes. Dr. Erskine developed the serum as part of an allied effort to create super soldiers."
"My father was a medical doctor," Caroline stated, "who was killed in a car accident."
"I'm sorry, but that was a cover story set up by S.H.I.E.L.D's predecessor, the Strategic Scientific Reserve."
"It's not physically possible for you to have fought in World War II," Matthew chimed in.
Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands. This would be so much easier if Emily were able to help him with it. Part of him wanted to yell at how they could question this when they'd just seen aliens attack Manhattan, but the larger, more reasonable part knew that it wouldn't accomplish anything.
That didn't stop Carter, however, and he cleared his throat. "Might I remind you of what just happened outside?" The Harthorns turned to look at the agent before looking at each other. "Aliens. So what's difficult to believe about him being a senior citizen?"
"Not helping," Steve groaned. When his stomach grumbled loudly, he sighed.
"Let's take a break," Carter offered. "Grab some breakfast or something."
"The cafeteria's open," Matt said. "I'm not hungry. I'll stay with Emily if you all want to go get something."
"We need to have a family meeting," Caroline nodded to her husband. "We'll meet you two down there."
"Ok," Steve said. Before he left the room, he leaned across Emily and whispered, "I love you and your family, but they're as stubborn as you are," before kissing her cheek. He could imagine her laughing at him, and telling him that there was a simple way of making them understand, that it was right in front of his eyes.
But she stayed silent, not even registering that anyone was in the room with her.
When they stepped outside of Em's room, Steve sighed and waited for Carter to take the lead. "Tough crowd," the Brit stated.
"You're telling me. How'd S.H.I.E.L.D. get Emily to believe all of it?"
"Well," Carter said, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "they had you, unconscious and newly dug out from the ice. She's an expert on the Captain America lore, so she knew your background, and we had all of the evidence conveniently at our disposal. Plus, Coulson. And just think, we haven't even told them about Garrett." He glanced at Steve, who hung his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"I don't think they're going to believe any of it until Emily tells them it's true."
"There's always that," Carter agreed. "Or they'll just say the bump on her head scrambled her-"
"Don't even joke about it," Steve ordered, his hands clenching into fists.
"She's going to be fine, Steve," Carter sighed, clapping his shoulder. "Medicine's come a long way in 70 years."
OOO
Steve finished his meal quickly, eating mechanically and not tasting any of it. The four didn't talk, and the silence was punctuated only with silverware scraping against plates.
"I've got to call my grandfather," Carter said as soon as he was finished. "I'll see you back upstairs."
"Ok," Steve nodded, pushing around a bit of egg on his plate.
"I'm gonna go too," Tuck said as he pushed back from the table. "Lauren and the kids…"
"I might as well call my brother so he can update the family," Caroline sighed. When the three left, she paused long enough to press a kiss into Steve's hair and to squeeze his shoulder. He briefly covered her hand with his.
He was dead tired. And sore. All he wanted right now was a long soak in the ridiculously large bathtub in the bathroom Stark had let him use, with Emily. Steve closed his eyes and let himself picture it; her glass of wine balancing on the rim of the tub as her hands worked the knots in his shoulders like she did after a long session in the gym. Her hair falling from the pins she'd used to keep it out of the water, tickling his shoulders…
Steve jerked awake, having dozed off long enough for a younger girl to appear to bus the table. "Sorry," he mumbled, piling the silverware onto the tray and handing it to her. She shrugged and walked away, but glanced over her shoulder at him. Heaving a sigh, Steve stood up and trudged back towards Emily's room.
He paused to steel himself at her door, hand resting on the knob. In the back of his mind, he though of how he'd much rather take on a couple hundred more of the Chitauri than go back in that room and see his girl like that. "Anything…?" Steve asked as he stepped inside. Matt looked up and met his eyes before shaking his head.
"No, nothing's changed," the older man's voice was gruff. Steve saw the tear tracks on his cheeks but didn't say anything as he took up the chair on Emily's other side and reached out to take her hand, mindful of the IV line. "Where'd everyone go?"
"Had to make some calls," Steve said. Matt nodded, his eyes drifting back to Emily as they fell into silence again. The rhythmic beating of Emily's heart monitor and the hiss of the ventilator was lulling Steve to sleep when her father spoke again.
"I didn't do my job."
"Huh?" Steve wiped his free hand across his face.
"I didn't do my job," Matt said again. "You make a promise to yourself when you find out that you're going to be a dad, that you're going to do everything you can to protect your kid from getting hurt. And when you hold 'em for the first time…You realize that it's your responsibility to keep them safe from the world. You make a promise. And I didn't do my job, and now my little girl is paying for it."
Steve swallowed hard and shook his head. "There was no way of knowing-"
"I know. Who expects aliens to invade Manhattan?" Matt asked, a smirk tugging at his mouth. "You can teach your daughter to fish, and change a flat tire, and check the oil, but how do you tell her to fight off space invaders?"
"You can't, Sir. And I know Emily wouldn't want you to blame yourself-"
"For what happened to her?" Matt looked up and met his gaze again. "I know she wouldn't. But that won't stop me from doing it." Tears sprang to his eyes as he shook his head and took a deep breath. "Y'know, I never thought I'd have a daughter. Caroline and I…we both wanted a big family but things didn't work out the way we wanted, and we were happy and content when it was just us and Tuck."
Steve nodded, not quite sure what he could say. "Anyways," Matt continued, "I told myself that it was better with just one kid. I'd grown up fine as an only child. Carol and I could focus on Tuck, make sure he went to the best schools, joined all the clubs he wanted. And having a boy?" he gave a watery chuckle, "Just made it all the easier. I knew how to raise a boy. I knew I would play with race cars, and teach him to throw a spiral, tell him how to treat a lady right…having my boy was enough."
"And then," he sobbed and pressed his lips together, "and then when Tuck was ten, Carol told me that she was pregnant. And I didn't want to believe it, because we'd miscarried before and I couldn't get excited about a baby we were going to lose. I didn't…I didn't want to get my hopes up that I could be a dad again. It wasn't until Carol was three months along that I finally let myself believe that it might happen for us." Steve blinked quickly against the tears gathering in his eyes.
"When the doctor handed Emily to me that first time I…I was terrified." Matt chuckled and wiped at his eyes. "You never realize how big and scary the world really is until you're holding your daughter for the first time. There's a lot more that can hurt her." He chuckled again and reached up to stroke back Emily's hair. "You should have seen her when she and her first boyfriend broke up. I thought Carol and I were never going to get her to come out of her room. It took Tuck coming home and threatening to egg his car for her to actually talk to us."
"Yeah?" Steve smiled.
"Yeah," Matt nodded. "She didn't want her brother to get in trouble. Not that he would have done it," he assured Steve, who nodded. "But sometimes…She's my little girl. She's already been through enough with Garrett, and now this?"
Steve clenched his jaw, wondering if now was the time to tell him. "There's more that I need to tell you about what's been going on since Emily came here."
"I know, I know," Matt held up his hand and closed his eyes. "But you have to understand what you're asking of us. You're trying to rewrite Caroline's family history, and ask us to believe that you fought in World War II."
"It sounds ridiculous, I know," Steve conceded. "But it's true."
"Part of me doesn't want to believe it's true, because if it is," Matt looked like he was debating his next words.
"If it's true…" Steve prodded.
"It means my daughter was only in this city because of you."
The words hung between them. Steve swallowed hard and looked away, his stomach sinking. Because he was right. Emily had only moved to New York because they'd found him. She's only been at S.H.I.E.L.D. because he should have been there.
All of this, her being there, her getting shot…it was his fault.
Steve sat back in his chair, pulling his hand away from Emily's. It was like he'd been punched in the gut. "Forget I said it," Matt said in a hushed voice. "I don't blame you, Steve."
"No, you're right," Steve shook his head. "Emily wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for me. She'd have gone to law school."
"Em's not cut out for law school, so don't go there," Matt sighed.
"I, uh, I'm gonna go for some air," Steve said, standing suddenly. Emily's father nodded to him as he walked around the bed and paused at the door. Steve looked over at his girl and felt his throat constrict before he walked outside.
OOO
"Any idea where Rogers is?" Sharon asked as she strode up the hall towards Carter. She'd changed from her catsuit into a pair of old jeans and black S.H.I.E.L.D. work out t-shirt.
"With Emily," he shrugged, turning the phone over in his hand. Sharon glanced at it before raising her eyebrow.
"Everything okay at home?"
"Yeah, yeah," he nodded, running a hand over his face. "Grandfather wants to talk to him. Didn't know how to tell him that Steve might not want to." Carter sighed and leaned back against the wall. "What's in the bag?"
"I thought Rogers might want some clothes that fit. And I brought some things that might convince the Harthorns of what's been going on."
"Such as?" She rolled her eyes and set the duffle bag on the floor before rummaging in the smaller bag hanging from her shoulder.
"I'm not quite sure what all of her notations are, but this is a start," she said while handing him a few files with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo embossed on them.
"You took these from headquarters?"
"They're not going to miss them for a while," she shrugged. Carter smiled at his cousin and flipped through the papers; there were field reports from the search for Steve, a few documents about Hydra and the SSR, and a picture of him half extracted from the ice. A disk with a post-it note stuck to it slid out, and Carter turned it over before reading Em's short hand note: 'UR CA PNR ~44'.
"These will definitely help."
"Thought so. I'm headed back; we're shorthanded and could really use the help getting HQ back in order," she said.
"I'm going to stay here, just in case they need anything," Carter huffed while getting to his feet.
"You need to get out of here for a while. Maybe go back and see what you can salvage from your penthouse?"
"I can do that later. The landlord already called and said that they're putting double security on for the foreseeable future…looters and all that."
"Fine," she sighed, digging in her pocket and withdrawing a key. "My place is still intact if you need anything."
"Thanks," he nodded, slipping the key into his pocket. When he moved to hug her, she held up her hand to stop him.
"I just showered, Cart."
"Are you saying I smell?"
"Are you denying it?" He raised an eyebrow and sniffed his shirt before wincing. "Thought so. I raided your locker. Change of clothes is in the bag," she nodded towards the duffle.
"God, I love you sometimes."
"Yeah, yeah," she chuckled before handing him the second bag. "There's something from Kingston in there too. Call if you need anything."
"Will do," Carter nodded. When she'd gone, he dug through the bag and pulled out a grey plastic case. Carefully, he pried it open and smiled. "Perfect." After collecting the bags, he hurried back to Emily's room, slipping the case into his pocket.
Now, if he could just get her family to leave the room for a bit.
OOO
"Mon coeur qui bat," she sang the last few words of 'La Vie En Rose' under her breath. Emily looked around at the people dancing, a smile tugging at her lips as she smoothed her dress. She recognized a few uncles and aunts, cousins, and even a friend from high school. Grandma and Grandpa Harthorn were revolving slowly in one corner, while Grandmere and Grandpere Black danced enthusiastically. A vaguely recognizable older man in a Colonel's uniform sat close to her at the bar, sipping whiskey and tapping his fingers to the rhythm of the music. Em watched a woman in a red dress throw her head back and laugh as her Asian partner spun her before pulling her back and leaning in to whisper something in her ear.
Emily smiled at the officer that walked towards her, his hat tucked under his arm. She set down her drink, turning expectantly to face him. "Would you like to dance, Ma'am?" Steve asked, holding out his hand.
"Yes, I would," she smiled as he placed his hat on the bar beside her. He easily cut through the crowded dance floor and found them a spot. His rough hand held hers as they swayed to the band, and Emily rested her head on his chest. Contentment spread throughout her body.
"I am very proud of you." The voice had changed, and she realized that her partner had as well. An older man with wire-rimmed glasses was now dancing with her. "You have done well, my Emily." His German accent sounded strange on her name.
"Opa?" she said, using the German word for grandfather. Erskine smiled and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Emily blinked tears away and jolted when she heard gunshots. Her grandfather collapsed in her arms. "Opa!" she screamed, falling to her knees under his weight.
But then it was the woman who'd protected her at S.H.I.E.L.D., not Erskine, clutching her hand. "Get out," she rasped.
Emily gasped, and when she blinked, Garrett was lying in her arms. "Baby," he groaned. Emily screamed when she saw his wounds. Half of his face was gone, and his torso was in bloody tatters. "Help."
"I-I will. Tell me what to do!" she screeched, pressing her hands to a shrapnel wound. He moaned, and she felt his hot blood on her hands.
"Emily," Erskine had reappeared beside her, blood staining his chest. "You cannot save him."
"You can't save him," Steve echoed. His skin was a bluish hue and ice clung to his hair. "Emily, there's nothing you can do."
"Rosie," Garrett groaned.
"No," she ordered, "I'm not giving up. You came back for me, damn it!" She looked over her shoulder at the two men behind her. "Help me!" It was then that she realized that blood was running down her leg. Emily inhaled sharply as her eyes landed on the growing stain on her dress.
"Go," Steve urged her. "Emily, you've gotta go. You promised me Paris."
"There's nothing you can do," Erskine sighed.
"I can… I can get him out of here!" she screamed. "Help me!" Tears streamed down her face, and it was getting harder to breathe.
And then Garrett was gone. Emily looked around, gasping at the pain radiating from her stomach. Everyone was gone.
"He's waiting for you." She turned to see the woman in the red dress standing there. "He's waited a long time for you."
"I don't," Em doubled over, clutching her stomach. Her wrist started to ache. "It hurts."
"My dear girl," she knelt and stroked Em's cheek. "It'll all go away when you wake up."
"I am awake!"
"I'm so glad he found you. Tell my family I'm fine, won't you?"
"So proud," Erskine smiled. He held out his hand for the woman, who nodded and took it. "My Emily."
"Wait!" she gasped when they turned to walk away. They didn't seem to hear her. "Stop, ple-" she gagged and clutched at her neck. Emily couldn't clear her throat…couldn't breathe…
OOO
Tucker looked up from his magazine and furrowed his eyebrows. He could have sworn that he'd seen Emily twitch, but she hadn't moved. Sighing, he shifted in the chair, trying to find a more comfortable position that didn't kill his back. But when movement caught his eye again, Tuck set the magazine aside and stood up.
"What is it?" Caroline asked, taking off her reading glasses.
"I could've sworn –" Tuck tensed when Em made a gagging sound.
"I'll go get the doctor," Carter said, glancing at Emily's heart monitor, which had started to beep more rapidly. He tried not to smile as he hurried from the room.
"Emmie?" Matt leapt to his feet when she gagged again.
They all cried out when Emily's eyes flew open and she started to claw at her throat. She was retching, panic shining in her brown eyes. Tucker quickly grabbed her hands and pinned them down when she reached for the tube taped to her mouth. "GO GET THE DOCTOR!" he screamed.
Caroline stifled a sob as she ran from the room. "I've got you, Sis," Tuck said, trying to stop Emily from thrashing so much. "Dad, get her legs." Matt nodded and laid across her legs, ignoring the small amount of blood that had begun to seep through her bandages. "It's ok, Emily," Tuck used the tone he used with his own kids when they were afraid. "We'll get you sorted out in a-"
"What happened?" Dr. Kerr demanded as he ran in, a brigade of nurses and interns behind him.
"She's awake," Tuck said, stepping aside when Dr. Kerr motioned for him to. Nurses took Matt's place, and the two men hurried to hold up Caroline, who looked ready to collapse.
"Push diazepam and get me an extubation tray," Kerr ordered. "Emily, I'm Dr. Kerr. I'm gonna need you to relax just for a minute until we can get this tube taken out, alright?" Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she continued to gag and thrash.
"Oh my god," Caroline sobbed, her legs giving out. Tuck and Matt caught her before she could hit the floor, but Kerr shook his head.
"I need you out of here."
"Ok," Matt nodded.
OOO
Steve kept his head bowed as someone shuffled into the prayer room. People had come and gone over the last two hours, each seeking a moment of solace before returning to their loved one. They ignored each other for the most part. His phone had kept ringing, but he ignored that as well. If the team needed him for anything, it could wait.
He'd come here, hoping to find something, anything, but he didn't. He only felt tired and so beaten down. Steve had removed his dog tags and held the Saint Michaels medal Emily had given him for his birthday in his clenched fist. He'd prayed as soon as he'd gotten there, but had lapsed into silent pleas for Emily to wake up, and then just silence.
Matt's words kept echoing in his head. "It means my daughter was only in this city because of you."
When the door slammed open, Steve didn't move; he didn't even twitch when Carter muttered an apology to everyone and hurried over to him.
"You've got to come upstairs," Carter hissed in his ear.
"Emily's family needs some time to themselves."
"Emily's waking up." Steve's head jerked up so fast his neck kinked. "Thought that'd get your attention. Come on."
They don't even bother with the elevator, but run up the stairs and tore through the hallways, ignoring the nurses yelling at them to stop running. Carter managed to huff out that he'd given Em something that S.H.I.E.L.D. used to get their agents back on their feet quickly, but Steve didn't really care. All he wanted right now was to see her awake.
"What's wrong?" Steve demanded when they skidded to a halt by her door. Caroline was sobbing into Matt's shoulder while Tuck rubbed her back.
"It…She just gave Mom a bit of a scare. The Doc's in there with her now," Tuck said before pressing his lips together tightly. Steve raised an eyebrow and turned back to face Carter.
"What exactly did you give her?"
"It just speeds up recovery," he said, holding up his hands defensively. "She's –" When the door opened, everyone turned to look at the nurses filing out.
Dr. Kerr was sitting next Emily, flashing a light in her eyes and nodding. "Everything seems to be in order, Ms. Harthorn. You're very lucky." Dr. Owens, the intern, was notating something in Emily chart.
Steve felt his knees buckle when he saw Emily give the doctor a tired smile before her eyes drifted over to her family in the doorway. "Hi," she said softly before rubbing her throat. The tube had been removed, but he could see a smaller line running from across her bruised face and under her nose. Her bed had been raised so that she was sitting up, but she looked tired enough to sleep again.
"Your throat's going to be sore for a while," Dr. Kerr said quickly. "And we're going to need to change the bandages on your abdomen. You might have torn some stitches." Emily nodded and gave him the 'ok' sign. "I'll let you say hello to your family, and then I'll come back and we'll talk about what's been going on while you've been sleeping."
"Thank you," Matt said, reaching to shake his hand. Kerr nodded and smiled at them all before he and Owens left.
"You scared the shit out of me," Tuck choked out as he walked towards Em's bed.
"Sorry," she whispered. And then she had disappeared into her family's embrace, her mother sobbing against her shoulder. It wasn't until she hissed in pain that they pulled away.
"What hurts?" Caroline demanded. Instead of speaking, Em lifted away the blankets, looking at the small bloodstain on her hospital gown, and seemed to realize there was a cast on her arm for the first time. Her eyes grew wide, and then she shook her head, pressing her fists to her eyes.
"Garrett…" Her family exchanged looks.
"He didn't make it," Carter said, pushing off of the door and stepping into the room. Emily met his gaze and nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. She held out her arms, and Carter cleared his throat before walking over and wrapping his arms tightly around her. She winced slightly, but redoubled her grip on him. When he pulled away, she kissed his cheek.
"You ok?" Carter looked incredulous for a moment before he burst out laughing.
"You're the one in the hospital bed, and you're asking if I'm alright?" She smiled when he rested his head on her shoulder. "I swear to God, Emily, I'm putting you in a bubble and you're never allowed to come out. You scared the hell out of us."
"Sorry," she said again. Her eyes drifted over to where Steve was standing, and she gave him a tentative smile.
"Here, honey, have some water," Caroline grinned, pressing a paper cup into her cast-free hand. Em winced when swallowing, her eyes still on Steve. When Tuck cleared his throat, however, her attention shifted to him. Steve watched as he moved his fingers rapidly, his eyes trained on his sister to see her reaction.
"Why don't we keep this in a language we all understand," Carter said, watching the exchange as well. But when Emily gasped, they understood what Tuck had been telling her.
"You told?" she asked, looking from Carter to Steve.
"What d'ya mean 'you told'?" Tuck demanded. "It's all non-sense, isn't it?"
"They deserve to know," Steve said, stepping into the room at last. Emily groaned and laid back, putting her hands over her face.
"Honey?" Caroline frowned, "You okay?"
"Gonna be sued," Em muttered. "Breech of non-disclosure agreement."
"Breech non-disclosure agreement? What non-disclosure?" Matt asked, going into lawyer mode. Tuck frowned as well.
"What contract did you sign? And why didn't you have one of us look over it?"
"I'm not going to let Fury sue you," Steve shook his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Absolutely not," Carter seconded. "Don't even think about it."
"I made the call," Steve said, walking towards her. "It was my choice to tell them about what's been going on."
"Hold on just one minute," Caroline snapped, warding off everyone while moving to block Emily. Her voice was softer when she turned to her daughter and stroked her hair, "Honey, you hit your head. You're not thinking clearly. Steve couldn't have fought in World War II. And he –" she jabbed her finger in Carter's direction, "hasn't been stalking us."
"Maman," Em groaned. "Please."
"Is this a bad time?" Dr. Kerr asked, rapping his knuckles against the door.
"Perfect," she sighed.
"You might want a bit of privacy," Kerr said, looking around the room. Carter, her brother, and father kissed her forehead, but her mother grabbed her hand.
"I'm staying."
"You don't have to," Emily said.
"I'm staying," Caroline repeated. She stared down Steve who shook his head.
"I'll wait outside," he said softly. When he met Em's eyes, she gave him a sad smile and nodded.
The four men waited outside, not speaking as they leaned against the wall. Steve, who was closest to the nurses station, tried not to listen to the gossip, but he clearly heard that they'd never had a patient wake up as violently as Emily had.
It was worse when they heard Emily start crying.
OOO
Around ten o'clock, Emily forced her family to leave. She'd been sleeping (and crying) off and on all day, and told her parents that they should go get some sleep at her apartment. They'd been reluctant to go, but Em told them she wanted some time alone.
"Call me if you need anything," Caroline ordered before pecking Emily's cheek.
"I will," she agreed. "There's towel in the –"
"We'll find everything," Matt smiled. "Get some sleep. We'll be back first thing in the morning."
"What d'ya think about calling Lauren and the kids tomorrow?" Tuck asked.
"Grab my make-up bag and laptop, and we'll Skype with them so Brandon can see I'm ok," she smiled tiredly.
"I'll make sure they get to your place before I check in with S.H.I.E.L.D.," Carter said, pushing off of the windowsill. "I'll come back tomorrow, alright?"
"You have a place to stay?" Em asked, hugging him tightly.
"Sharon's offered her flat."
"There's always mine if you want," she offered, but he declined. "Tell…tell Sharon I said thank you."
"Of course." The four left at the same time, all of them looking over at Emily as they filed out.
"I…er…" Steve said, scratching the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to-"
"Hi." His shoulders slumped when she smiled tentatively at him.
"Hi," he smirked. When Em held out her hand, he crossed the room and took it, letting her draw him to sit on the bed.
"You've been avoiding me all day."
"I've been right here," he countered, shaking his head. Her casted hand reached up to tap his temple.
"Here. You've been gone all day." Steve ducked his head and swallowed against the lump that had grown in his throat.
"You almost died on me," he said, his voice gruff with unshed tears. He brought their clasped hands to his lips and tenderly kissed her knuckles.
"Sorry," she whispered. Steve let out a harsh laugh and swiped his thumb under his eyes. Her eyes were shining with tears when they met his before she looked away, her gaze caught by the television that was on mute. The 24-hour news cycles had been analyzing the 'Battle of Manhattan' as they were now calling it, and every once in a while she'd see a flash of red, white, and blue.
"I should have been there," he said.
"You were a bit busy," she replied, jerking her chin towards the TV. He turned in time to see Captain America slamming his shield into one of the Chitauri before throwing it to ricochet off of a car. "You were saving the world...again."
"You were supposed to be in Indiana," Steve said, reaching out to stroke the deep purple bruises on her cheekbone and eye. Emily shrugged before hissing in pain. He stood and reached for the plastic handle draped over the bed's rail, ready to give her a dose of pain meds, but she stopped him.
"I'm fine. I'm pretty sure I fell down some stairs," she sighed, relaxing against her pillows.
"You don't remember?"
"Everything's a bit hazy," Em confessed. "The doctor said that's probably because of the concussion." What she didn't tell him that her brain was apparently trying to make her remember through the short dreams she'd had during her naps. Cautiously, Steve sat back down and reclaimed her hand.
"Why'd you go to S.H.I.E.L.D., Emily? Why were you even in Manhattan?"
"Because I can't move to Indiana," she said, her lower lip quivering. "I got the job, and I found a nice house, but I don't want to move."
"You got the job?"
"I say all of that, and all you hear is I got the job," Em huffed.
"You should take it." Her eyes widened and she shook her head, pushing away his hands.
"I don't want to move to Indiana! I know you're mad about what happened between me and Gar-" she sobbed and pressed her hand to her mouth, an image of Garrett's body flashing before her eyes, the sound of bullets striking flesh echoing in her ears.
"Emily, Emily stop!" Steve ordered when she started to retch, her hand shooting to cover the stitches on her stomach. He quickly grabbed a plastic bin from her bedside table and set it in her lap before rubbing her back. The heart monitor was beeping rapidly, and he thought that any minute one of the nurses was going to barge in and demand that he leave.
When she finally calmed down, Steve poured Emily a glass of water and got a wet washcloth from the bathroom. As she passed the cloth over her face, he picked up the small plastic handle and depressed the button. There was a soft beep, and he let out a sigh of relief, knowing that her dose of pain meds would be hitting her in a few minutes.
"I'm sorry," Em said while depositing the washcloth on her rolling tray table.
"You don't have to-"
"I'm sorry."
"Emily-"
"I'm sorry." Steve shook his head and stood up, crossing to the other side of the bed. "I'm so sorry."
"Stop," he sighed, rearranging the various wires attached to her.
"I'm sorry." Satisfied he wouldn't unplug anything, Steve sat beside her and swung his legs onto the bed. "I'm sor –"
Steve cut her off with a kiss. "Now stop it," he said, "because I'm not mad at you."
"You should b-"
"Emily," his voice was stern. "We're not talking about this right now."
"But –"
"Nothing." Steve pressed his lips to hers again, mindful of her cuts and bruises, the wires, and the gentle hissing of the cannula tube dispensing oxygen.
"I –"
"Emily," he said in an exasperated tone.
"Love you."
"I love you too." Emily nodded drowsily. Steve pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. When she settled against his shoulder, he hit the button so that the bed lowered enough for her to sleep comfortably.
Emily tilted her chin up as her fingers curled around his shirt, and Steve leaned down to press his forehead against hers, watching as the worry and pain left her face as she drifted off to sleep.
Author's Note: A big thank you to pizzagirl and blown-transistor for helping me pull this chapter together.
As always, thank you for reading, and let me know what you think!
